Chapter 168
Chapter 168
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Translator: Vine
Chapter: 168
Chapter Title: Self-Awareness
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Rustle.
Rustle.
As Cheon-seong removed his cadet uniform, an unfamiliar feeling welled up inside him.
An awareness of his own actions—undressing himself, conscious of another's gaze.
...It felt like a situation that would have stirred far stranger emotions had it been anywhere other than the infirmary.
‘Even if this is just for a check-up.’
Having to show my body so freely to someone. The fact that she was a woman not much older than me made me all the more conscious of it.
“……”
The tea table that had been between us was now moved to the side, and Adelia was watching me from just a step or two away.
She was taking in the sight of me removing my clothes, layer by layer, with an unwavering gaze.
“……”
I chanced a glance at Adelia's eyes.
Her eyes, shining as if filled with gold, held not a trace of temptation or any suggestive emotion. It was the clear, composed gaze of a medical professional examining a patient.
Her eyes were simply fixed squarely on me.
So I could feel a sense of relief.
Rustle.
As I finished taking off the uniform, a strange feeling flickered within me, but I was able to calm my heart again, like a placid lake.
‘I have nothing to be ashamed of.’
In the few days, not quite a week, that had passed, I didn't think I had pushed my body too hard. So there was no reason for me to hesitate under Adelia's gaze.
Thud.
Placing the last piece of clothing down, I fully exposed my upper body.
...My trained torso inadvertently caught my eye.
Having wielded a spear almost daily, it would have been stranger if my body hadn't changed. My upper body was quite well-defined.
“Instructor Adelia. I’m ready.”
“Then I’ll begin the examination right away. You won’t feel any pain during the process. So, Cadet Han Cheon-seong, don’t be too tense and just relax.”
At her calm voice, I too nodded nonchalantly.
As her pale hand reached out, I calmed my heart even further.
‘Don’t react strangely for no reason.’
This is a treatment.
It’s nothing more than a check-up.
Acknowledging her hand as it made direct contact with my torso, a quiet moment followed.
Shoulders. Arms, hands, sides, chest…
Adelia’s touch lightly tapped all over my upper body as if to examine every part. A faint light shimmered over her pale hand, and a gentle warmth emanated from where we touched.
And that brought a small sense of peace to my heart.
“It seems you really haven’t been overexerting yourself. Your condition is better than any other time I’ve checked on you, Cadet Han Cheon-seong.”
Seeing her faint smile, a small laugh escaped me.
“That’s a relief.”
The multiple treatments I received just last week. As much as she had helped me, I tried to keep my promise to her.
—The promise not to push myself.
And even before that, I had never once taken an instructor's words or actions lightly.
The few times in the past I had to go against Adelia's words, there were unavoidable reasons. Now, that wasn't the case, so I could keep my promise.
‘Back then, I was….’
I was engulfed by a sense of crisis, knowing I might have to face the apostle Leteia, and the pressure of knowing whether or not I could save Karite rested in my hands.
Besides that, so many other burdens were weighing down on me.
So I tried to push forward no matter what, obsessing over skills without regard for my own body. That was me two weeks ago.
But now, I had prepared a safety net for future crises, so my mindset was completely different.
I had a little breathing room.
Tap.
Then, her hand touched my right shoulder.
As I felt the gentle warmth, her hand paused, and I felt a different sensation than before.
Sliiiide….
At the lingering touch that seemed to carefully caress my shoulder, I flinched, my body trembling slightly.
“...”
I looked down to see her hand, shrouded in a faint light.
But that touch… it felt too suggestive now. When I turned my head to look at Adelia, she let out a soft laugh.
“Don’t be so surprised. I’m just trying to loosen up some of your tense muscles.”
“Ah… Yes. I understand.”
“For the most part, the general check-up is finished. There are no abnormalities, and your body is in good condition. And what I’m doing now is a small gesture of consideration for you, Cadet Han Cheon-seong, for listening to me so well. So, just accept it without feeling burdened.”
At her words, I could only manage an awkward laugh.
‘Really, what am I even thinking?’
It was ridiculous that I even considered the possibility that her touch held some other meaning.
There was no way that could be true in the first place.
Adelia was an instructor, and I was a cadet.
There was no way she, an instructor, would lay her hands on me, a cadet, and harbor strange feelings.
‘This is a serious case of self-consciousness.’
It was the same with Kalli just yesterday, and now today, it seemed as if Adelia had feelings for me too.
...That’s why I felt like I was the problem.
Every female instructor I met seemed to have feelings for me, so I felt the need to get a grip on myself.
Slide… slide.
After that, as Adelia’s hands continued to move over my body, my change in mindset definitely made it feel different.
It didn’t feel like she was kneading my body at all. I could simply accept her touch as it lightly brushed and caressed me.
As her hand, which had been caressing my right shoulder, slowly moved toward the other side, brushing past my collarbone, I inadvertently swallowed hard.
‘Ah.’
The sound of my swallowing felt so loud that I instinctively checked Adelia’s expression.
“……”
Fortunately, she said nothing, and her gaze upon my body remained clear, seemingly devoid of any other emotions.
...And then I realized.
This was dangerous. I knew Adelia was touching my body without any ulterior motives, simply as a kind gesture.
But there was a clear difference between knowing that rationally and how my body was reacting.
Slide…. Slide.
No matter how hard I tried to calm myself, Adelia’s touch as it passed my collarbone and now brushed over my left shoulder definitely felt lingering.
My body perceived it that way, and no matter how many times I told myself rationally that it was fine, it was useless.
...It felt like she was handling my body preciously, as if caressing a lover, and it was almost irresistible.
Naturally, the current situation came into focus.
Adelia, leaning forward to caress my body.
At this closer distance, I could see just how sensual her figure was.
Hah, hah.
I blankly noticed how red and luscious her parted lips were as she breathed softly.
‘Hah.’
I found myself tensing up, my own lips slightly parted in hesitation.
Was this situation perhaps too dangerous to accept with an open mind?
It felt as if she were seducing me.
Even if she had no such intention, it was as if she were lightly pressing her body against me, testing my patience.
Moreover, as her warm touch gradually changed, as if caressing my body, I couldn’t help but react.
Just as heat began to build in my body and all sorts of thoughts flooded my mind,
“Hnngh…”
Hearing a strange, nasal sound, my body stiffened unconsciously.
And then. Leaning gently toward me, she slowly raised her head.
Her eyes, looking up at me from a low angle, seemed unusually suggestive.
...Even though it was the same clear gaze as before.
“Cadet Han Cheon-seong. You’re not thinking any strange thoughts right now, are you?”
“O-Of course not.”
Her words snapped me out of my daze, and I laughed awkwardly.
“Really? For someone who isn’t… your reaction seemed a bit strange, Cadet Han Cheon-seong?”
Then she narrowed her eyes, looking at me suspiciously. I faltered for a moment before quickly shaking my head.
“...I absolutely did not harbor any ulterior motives. I was just gratefully accepting your kind consideration, instructor.”
“Ah~ So that’s why you were flinching like that?”
As Adelia asked, blinking her eyes, I was suddenly filled with suspicion, wondering if she was genuinely asking because she didn't know.
‘No, she obviously knows.’
When someone of the opposite sex is touching your body, it’s only natural to feel something strange. There was no way she, being older than me, wouldn’t know that.
“……”
When I stared at Adelia without answering, implying as much, she met my gaze, then burst out laughing and shook her head.
“Pfft… Sorry, my apologies. I just found your reaction so amusing that I couldn’t help but tease you.”
“You’re too mischievous….”
As I replied, a laugh of relief escaped me as well.
Her lighthearted reaction made me feel foolish for having been so tense and troubled. As my heart settled, I suddenly thought it was probably fine now.
“May I get dressed now?”
Now that the atmosphere of a check-up was broken, I started to feel a sense of shame.
I didn’t mind showing my body, which had been sculpted through long training, but we were still a man and a woman.
I sometimes forgot, but before we were instructor and cadet, there was the undeniable distinction of ‘man and woman’ between us.
“Uh… about that.”
Adelia, whom I expected to agree readily, hesitated, and I paused as I was about to pick up my clothes.
“Didn’t you say the check-up was mostly finished?”
And I heard that you touching my shoulder afterward was just a gesture of consideration.
“...That’s right. Yes. Ah, it’s nothing. Then, Cadet Han Cheon-seong. Let’s conclude the examination here.”
Seeing her agree with an awkward smile, I felt a little strange.
‘I don’t want to misunderstand, but….’
Instructor Adelia seemed as if she regretted ending this moment….
To me, that was truly the only way it looked.
***
Tea time, a physical check-up, and even dinner were all done. Outside, the world was now steeped in complete darkness.
Since it was the weekend, the academy facilities had fewer lights on than on weekdays, making the deep darkness feel even more profound.
Click-clack.
As Adelia walked slowly, she glanced unconsciously to her side.
“……”
There she saw Cadet Han Cheon-seong, his expression calm and composed.
He had readily accepted everything I suggested, and now we were walking along the promenade, the last part of the schedule I had planned for today.
I couldn’t help but wonder when the time had passed so quickly.
‘It’s already time to part ways.’
A deep sense of regret.
Unlike the time I spent with him before with ambiguous feelings, the time spent after becoming aware of my heart felt completely different.
It was more enjoyable, and I felt a greater sense of happiness.
Just being with someone was enough to fill my heart with such immense joy.
And so I knew.
Just how much… I liked him.
“Instructor Adelia. Isn’t the night sky beautiful?”
As he turned his head and spoke, my heart fluttered unconsciously.
But I hid my excitement and spoke nonchalantly.
“...You’re right. Just as you said, Cadet Han Cheon-seong, there seem to be more stars than usual tonight.”
I gently lifted my head to the night sky and immediately agreed. Countless stars embroidered the heavens beautifully, capturing my attention.
Tap.
Gazing at the twinkling stars, I came to a stop.
Thud.
Seeing him stop right after me, I spoke carefully.
“Let’s… rest on a bench for a moment before we go.”
If we walk just a little further, I’ll have to part ways with Cadet Han Cheon-seong.
And… I didn’t want that.
“Isn’t it getting late?”
Seeing the surprised look on his face, I slowly shook my head.
“I’m fine, so let’s stay together a little longer…. Just a little bit longer.”