Chapter 107
Chapter 107
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Translator: Vine
Chapter: 107
Chapter Title: Apostle of Sacrifice, Leteia - (3)
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***
Anomaly.
Accident.
These two seemingly different words had one thing in common.
They happen at any time. In moments you least expect.
So for the one experiencing them, with no time to prepare…
It was truly an anomaly, an accident.
…
After agreeing to take a break with Karite.
The two of them sat on a fallen log. A rest taken after some light, idle chatter.
Cheon-seong checked his condition and gave a slight nod.
‘I’m fine.’
I could say I had nearly met today's quota for ghouls.
And as for my mana, I didn't think I'd used that much.
I'd used about half of my total mana. The concept of the spiral. Having grasped that circulation just yesterday, I was able to reduce my mana consumption more than I had thought.
This was a greater harvest than I had anticipated.
‘My mana efficiency has nearly doubled.’
Feeling a sense of satisfaction, my gaze naturally drifted to my side.
Even if I was the one in action, Karite, who had to watch, must be incredibly bored…
“…Karite?”
I blinked, muttering blankly.
*Rustle.*
Karite was silently getting to her feet.
Without answering my call, Karite suddenly started walking in one direction.
“Karite? Where are you going?”
Mumbling blankly, I immediately got up to follow her.
*Step.*
*Step.*
Seeing Karite suddenly quicken her pace despite my voice, I felt a strange sensation.
Was it fear, or a chill?
In that moment, even I couldn't tell.
Nevertheless, I had no choice but to quickly follow after the hastily walking Karite.
“Karite!?”
I grabbed her by the shoulder to stop her.
“…Sorry.”
A very small voice came out.
“What’s wrong? Where were you trying to go?”
As I turned her body completely toward me, Karite's eyes, now facing mine, had turned incredibly gloomy.
…So much so that I was startled when our eyes met.
“……”
Unresponsive to my question, Karite repeatedly hesitated with her lips. Seeing this, though I didn't know what was happening, I carefully opened my mouth.
“First, calm down. I don't know why you're like this, but let's think about the situation calmly. Okay?”
When dealing with someone mentally unstable like this, you must never press them.
The moment you realize they are struggling, you have to be cautious and treat them even more gently.
As I carefully met her gaze, Karite finally looked back at me.
*Haa.*
And as she let out a deep sigh, my heart seemed to be tinged with impatience.
‘This can't go on.’
I felt that even if I couldn't meet the quota right away, I shouldn't let Karite stay here any longer.
“Let's go back and rest first. I don't know why you're acting like this, but if you rest, maybe you’ll feel a little…”
“Han Cheon-seong.”
I flinched at the sudden, indifferent voice.
The look in Karite's eyes as they met mine… was very strange.
As if she had resolved to do something. A bizarre heat seemed to fill her eyes.
“You're pushing yourself too hard, aren't you?”
“…Pushing myself? What are you talking about all of a sudden?”
“I know you're pushing yourself too hard because of me.”
She shook her head firmly as she spoke, and I felt the situation was taking a strange turn.
Why is Karite suddenly acting so strangely?
Nevertheless, I hurriedly spoke.
“No. I'm not pushing myself. Karite. I'm really okay.”
In case of any unforeseen circumstances, I had been wielding my spear with extreme caution while dealing with the ghouls.
Both my mana and the strain on my body,
I was maintaining a near-perfect condition.
“Lies…”
But hearing her sad voice, I couldn't understand at all.
“Why… do you think I would lie to you?”
“I confirmed it myself. That you're not okay at all.”
“When…? Why do you think I'm not okay?”
In a conversation where we seemed to be talking past each other…
I spoke very carefully.
I have to be careful at times like this.
‘Because I've learned.’
So. I had to be even more considerate of Karite.
“A moment ago, when I put my hand on yours. I saw it. That your mana is far too low.”
At her blank words, a certain moment involuntarily came to mind.
The moment Karite had suddenly placed her hand on mine.
At the time, I didn't think much of her mana flowing into my hand for a moment, but it seemed Karite was trying to check my mana.
“…Karite. That's because my mana is naturally low.”
“Han Cheon-seong. You don't have to lie like that… you don't have to pretend to be okay. You're struggling because of me, aren't you? Just like my family… you're struggling a lot right now, aren't you?”
For a moment, I was at a loss for words.
The amount of mana I possessed was certainly on the lower side compared to others.
Compared to those born in this world with naturally high mana, I wasn't originally from this world.
And my ability to use more mana than I possessed, thanks to understanding the principle of circulation, might have…
…seemed to Karite like I was using my mana abnormally.
It might have made her misunderstand that I was pushing myself…
But more than anything.
‘Just like my family…’
Those words momentarily silenced me.
“…No.”
When I answered a little late, I could see the look in Karite's eyes darken.
I quickly grabbed her shoulders.
“Karite. I'm really not struggling. So, please, don't think strange thoughts. Stop thinking foolish things.”
Even though I spoke more forcefully, Karite's eyes… held a look as if she had already reached a conclusion.
“…I'm sorry.”
***
—Honey. What should we do?
—I… don't know what to do with Karite either.
—Is big sister very sick?
The auditory hallucinations I had been hearing had changed into the voices of my family.
And then, they were no longer lies, no longer absurd sounds detached from reality.
They were dredging up the past I didn't want to remember and playing it back for me just as it was.
—We've already spent most of this year's estate revenue just on buying holy water for Karite.
—But it had at least some effect on her. Then we should buy even a little more.
—I want to as well! But… we can't afford it anymore! Don't we have to pay back the money we borrowed from other families right away?
The voices of my family, endlessly agonizing and worrying because of me, echoed in my ears.
That… tormented me more than any false hallucination.
Then, the negative thoughts grew uncontrollably, and my confidence that I could get better existed only like the embers of a dying fire.
‘When I think about it…’
It was already an old story.
I no longer felt the desire to do anything.
So, at some point, as if giving up, I just let myself go.
Because I believed that no matter how much my family tried to care for me, in the end, I would only make them suffer more.
So I sharpened the edges of my words and lost interest in everything, acting aloof.
Because there was nothing I could do.
That no matter what I did, my condition wouldn't improve.
As I let go of myself first… I began to distance myself from my family as well.
As a result, my family and I naturally grew further apart.
…And now, I felt as if the premonition from back then was returning.
—Someone is suffering because of me.
—They're pushing themselves too hard.
Because I couldn't erase such negative thoughts…
-Yes, that's a good thought.
-Things will be better for others if someone like you disappears, you know?
-Look, because you're here. Han Cheon-seong is struggling too.
-Can't you see he's pushing himself because of you right now?
-And yet you're going to rest with him so nonchalantly? What right do you have?
The hallucinations ringing endlessly in my ears cornered me without end.
My heart, which had been unshaken when I was with Han Cheon-seong, was now wavering, and that wavering seized me fiercely.
“…Karite. Let's go back. Let's stop here for today and just go back to rest.”
Han Cheon-seong, holding onto me and speaking gently, filled my vision.
‘Even in this moment…’
Han Cheon-seong didn't blame me.
Even seeing me get up selfishly and try to disappear, he continued to speak considerately.
As if he would hold onto me until the very end.
His effort to say something, no matter what, actually made my heart ache more.
‘Because of me…’
Even someone as kind as Han Cheon-seong is pushing himself.
That's why my doubts about my own existence grew even stronger.
The thought that my living like this… only harms everyone. Unpleasant thoughts kept coming, and unlike before, I couldn't shake them off.
Even enduring and holding on, it felt like my heart had given up.
Because the will to stand up had vanished.
Because I felt that even Han Cheon-seong, who had reached out his hand and approached me like this, was suffering because of me.
…Now, I myself wanted to let go of the kind hand he had offered.
‘Then.’
Han Cheon-seong wouldn't have to push himself anymore.
He wouldn't have to agonize and suffer because of me, like my family did before.
“Karite. Then let's go back together…”
A gentle voice heard through my dazed consciousness.
……
But in a corner of my vision, I saw a darkness slowly blooming.
A pitch-black darkness that seemed to absorb all the surrounding light. It was truly separate from the world.
That such a darkness was blooming was strangely conspicuous.
‘That's…’
What on earth is it?
***
“……”
A heavy sigh was swallowed back.
The man watching Han Cheon-seong and Karite narrowed his eyes slightly, unable to understand.
He could say with certainty that this was the first time in years he had injected such a degree of negative thought into a single person.
And how a student could endure so much. He couldn't help but realize it as he watched.
“…Please, don't lose heart. Don't get caught up in strange thoughts.”
The student named Han Cheon-seong was endlessly trying to support the student named Karite.
It was clear he was trying to reach out his hand, as if to pull her out of the negative thoughts by any means necessary.
It was like shouting endlessly in a forest, far removed from the other students, a sound that wouldn't be heard.
And yet, that sound was miraculously reaching Karite.
Despite the omens that she should have already been captured by the endless thoughts and transformed. It didn't erupt all at once.
Even though the Apostle's thoughts and my own characteristic had resonated and already dominated the area.
Very slowly. It was merely staining her, as if encroaching. It couldn't completely swallow a mere student.
‘This is…’
So I had no choice but to reconsider.
The being to be offered as a sacrifice to Leteia was originally supposed to be one person.
I had tried to think of it as an unavoidable additional sacrifice.
But the more I watched the situation unfold, the more I had to contemplate.
Although what I was doing… was an absolutely unforgivable act. Even if it was for my family, I knew it was not right.
Nevertheless, in committing this act, I thought there was meaning in it as a small sacrifice for the greater good.
That it was better to suppress the Apostle through these unavoidable, small sacrifices every few months… than to let the Apostle cause a greater disaster.
…A foolish thought to lessen the guilt in my utterly vile heart.
But seeing the student in my sight now, my heart wavered.
Especially from the student named ‘Han Cheon-seong’, I could even see a glimpse of a future brilliance.
Having stood on battlefields in the past and seen many beings, I could see a kind of potential in people. And the student named Han Cheon-seong seemed destined to become a great light for this empire within a few years.
He was a student whose talent was too exceptional to be dismissed as a sacrifice and have his life taken here.
‘Han Cheon-seong is worth more than dozens of other students.’
The student named Han Cheon-seong himself possessed too much value to be offered as a sacrifice for the greater good.
“……”
So I began to slowly withdraw the darkness.
This had to be reconsidered.
I would have to convey my opinion to Leteia and find another sacrifice.
At that moment.
"Kuh…!"
My head felt like it was intensely burning.
[Offer Han Cheon-seong as the sacrifice]
A thought that pierced my mind more intensely than ever before.
…It began to forcibly pressure the man.