Zombie Skin Care
The low drumbeats began echoing from beyond Saturn. It seemed the enemies from 4-1 had arrived. I clicked my tongue while listening to the drums. Elves?
Elves didn't usually march to the beat of drums. That meant it was probably another race. It didn't matter much. What I needed were ranged attackers anyway, so I could adjust the plan accordingly.
What a shame.
I sat on the throne and yawned. Even with the difficulty cranked to maximum, my growth had long since outpaced it. Five hundred monkey zombies were already deployed across Saturn, with even more stored away. Unless the boss showed up, there was nothing to worry about.
Sizzle— Sizzle—
I left the incoming enemies to the monkeys and focused on the whole roasted pig in front of me, golden fat dripping down its sides. From Stage 4 onward, bosses appeared in round five. I planned to bulldoze through round three using Saturn, so I could leave the easiest round to the monkeys while I ate and rested.
While waiting for the pig to finish cooking, Baengnae turned her head.
"Elf."
Following her gaze, I saw an elf clad head to toe in leather armor. Blood stained its longsword; it had clearly cut down several monkeys on the way in. The long ears confirmed it was an elf.
"A real elf? Then the drums were just a diversion?"
The elf seemed to realize we were the commanders here. It shook the blood from its blade and prepared to fight. Its presence suggested decent combat skill—after all, reaching this far through the sea of monkeys outside the castle wasn't something just anyone could do.
Baengnae rose, drawing her sword. Seeing its opponent decided, the elf charged. The moment their blades met, Baengnae simply stepped into the attack and drove her sword through the elf's neck.
Thud—
"Ghk…?"
The elf died twitching, completely unprepared for that fighting style. A pierced neck left no room for survival.
"Baengnae won. This is Baengnae's."
Despite the hole in her shoulder, Baengnae casually dragged the elf's leg over to me, clearly intending to roast it alongside the pig. In that brief moment, the wound had already vanished.
Hmm…
This was normal. Even at maximum difficulty, Baengnae had consumed more Fruits of Good and Evil than anyone else. Add in her Soul Engraving and skills, and she had devoured more resources than all the other zombies combined.
Still, an elf was good news. I could probably finish this faster than expected.
"We'll eat later. Go catch the ranged ones without damaging them. Melee types can take some hits."
Baengnae understood and drew her sword again.
"Madda."
She headed out while I examined the intruder. A few more facts became clear. First, these were dark elves. Their ears had been wrapped in leather, so I hadn't noticed, but once stripped, their skin was pitch black. It didn't matter. I hadn't been hoping for any specific race anyway.
I just want ranged forces.
I stripped the corpse completely, searching for the relic Stage 4 enemies were supposed to carry. Nothing. The relic was probably with another guardian somewhere outside.
By the way… are dark elves hermaphrodites?
While searching, I removed every piece of clothing. The chance was low, but maybe this one had hidden the relic in its underwear. Surprisingly, there was nothing inside. No relic. No male parts. No female parts. Just smooth skin.
Wait… if both are missing, it's not even hermaphroditic.
I felt like I'd gained some very useless knowledge about dark elves. I picked up a cloth and covered the lower body anyway. Even if there was nothing there, the corpse might still prefer some dignity. As a Zombie Summoner, I decided to respect that.
Some time later, several monkeys dragged dark elf slaves into the royal castle. Their arms and legs were roughly bound with tree vines. I tilted my head at Nareun-i, who stood at the front.
"Why bring them alive instead of turning them into zombies?"
Nareun-i scratched her head.
"The monkeys claimed they could increase our forces through mating… so I brought them alive to ask for your opinion, Master. It wasn't my decision to make."
What the hell?
I looked at the monkeys who had suggested mating. They stood proudly with chests puffed out like victorious generals, even giving me thumbs-ups.
They really want to increase the numbers?
But their dream was impossible. Weren't dark elves asexual? Instead of explaining, I decided to demonstrate.
"You there. Bring one you like."
The pointed monkey excitedly dragged its chosen elf forward, bowing and saying that if I wanted this one, it would pick a different female.
Should I be happy about the loyalty…?
I ordered the monkey to strip the elf. It gladly obeyed.
Rustle— Rustle—
"Kiki? Kikikiki!"
The monkey fell into utter shock. What should have been there wasn't. It clutched its head and hopped around. I flicked its forehead.
Thwack—
"Stop thinking nonsense and just make more zombies. If you want to increase forces through mating, there are female monkey zombies, right? Why are you suddenly obsessed with dark elf zombies? Huh? Ridiculous."
"Kiki…"
The mating commotion ended there.
That night we pushed through to round three and secured two hundred dark elf zombies. After distributing the melee types as snacks, the numbers weren't as high as expected, but two hundred was plenty. The plan was to feed the smarter dark elves to the dumber zombies to raise overall intelligence.
The next day, we witnessed an astonishing effect.
As usual, I tried to peel Baengnae off me when I woke up. But something was different. Her skin was firm and soft—full of life, nothing like zombie skin at all.
What…? Did she evolve? Toward better skin?
I gently touched her sleeping cheek. It was soft. Not just soft—exactly like a baby's cheek.
What happened?
I checked Bangsil-i and Nareun-i too. Their skin had improved as well. Not just their faces—arms, stomachs, legs, every part of their bodies had become smooth and supple.
Did they evolve too?
Then I noticed something even more surprising. The monkeys' skin had improved too. All of them looked plump and full of vitality. I stared blankly, completely forgetting about morning exercises.
Soon Baengnae stirred.
"Mmm… Baengnae is awake."
I pointed at her skin.
"Huh…?"
She clearly had no idea what was happening either. The answer came when I looked at the night watch monkeys. I had punished the ones who suggested mating by making them stand watch without snacks. Their skin remained dry and crushed, exactly like normal zombies.
Dark elves have a skin care effect?
Zombies inherited certain traits from what they ate. Just like the dogs that grew giant after eating giants. The dark elves' skin had felt smooth, but the effect was far stronger than expected—and in a completely useless direction. If skin improved this much, it meant other effects were reduced by the same amount.
Ambiguous… basically trash…?
Bangsil-i and Nareun-i woke up and grew noisy. Bangsil-i discovered her improved skin and ran over, boasting.
"Jju-in! Jju-in! Look! It's all bouncy!"
Nareun-i smiled while gently stroking her own arm. When our eyes met, she beamed. It was the first time I'd seen her smile like that.
The zombies like it… maybe it's not complete trash. But why do zombies even care about skin…?
After morning exercises with the plump zombies, we ate breakfast. While inspecting weapons taken from the enemies for the bull raid, an incident occurred. Bangsil-i came running with a completely tearful face.
"Jju-in… my bouncy bouncy is gone."
Her skin had returned to its usual dry, zombie texture. So had everyone else's.
Short-term effect.
The bright, cheerful atmosphere of Saturn turned gloomy in an instant. Disappointed monkey zombies walked around with their heads down. Some smacked their lips while staring at the dark elf zombies.
In the end, I gathered everyone and scolded them.
"You lot! Stop looking for shady shortcuts and learn to improve yourselves through proper, consistent training! That's why you end up disappointed when you rely on weird tricks! The sweat you shed every day will never betray you! Tsk!"
Despite my words, the zombies still looked miserable, kneading their dry, bony arms. The arms had always been bony, but combined with the bad skin, they looked even more pitiful.
Sigh…
I needed to go hunt the bull head, but morale was terrible. I added one more line.
"There are more dark elf corpses. I'll give a few pieces to whoever makes the biggest contribution this time!"
"Woo! Woo! Woo!"
"Kikiki!"
"Bangsil-i will work hard too!"
Morale instantly recovered. I still couldn't understand why the zombies cared so much about skin care. Maybe it was a side effect of their rising intelligence.