Because I'm a Man, There's No Way I Wouldn't Know
Because I'm a Man, There's No Way I Wouldn't Know
Ahhh....
My head aches like it's going to split open.
Holding my throbbing head as I opened my eyes, the familiar ceiling of my studio apartment came into view.
...Why on earth does my head hurt so much? It's not like I slept after drinking alcohol.
Thinking that, I hunched up my sluggish, heavy body.
And then I raised my upper body.
No, I tried to raise it. But due to a heavy weight I had never felt before, I pitched forward.
Reflexively, I extended both hands and pressed down on the mattress.
What is this? What the....
As I lowered my head, my eyes caught something unbelievable.
A tightly stretched t-shirt.
And beneath it, two massive mounds of flesh spilling downward as if demonstrating the full effects of gravity.
I couldn't take my eyes off them.
Am I not fully awake yet? Why on earth am I seeing things like that on my body?
Just in case, I brought my hand to my chest to check.
The sensation in my hand spoke to me. Squishy, pillowy, and soft.
That texture—the feeling of touching and being touched occurred simultaneously.
As if they were truly mine.
The moment I applied force and squeezed tightly.
"Ahhh!!"
A scream echoed through the room.
It was definitely a voice coming from my mouth, but it wasn't my voice.
It was an incredibly thin, faint scream.
Only then did reality hit me, and goosebumps crept all over my body.
Cold sweat poured down. I hurriedly covered my mouth with both hands and kicked off the blanket.
Like a madman, I scrambled out of bed and headed to the bathroom.
My hands shook non-stop, but I didn't care. I opened the door, stood in front of the sink, and looked into the mirror.
...Ah.
Inside the mirror, some strange woman stood with a terrified expression.
Long, dangling hair cascaded down her shoulders.
A pale, slender face. Large, round eyes and small, trembling lips were reflected in the mirror.
When I raised my hand to stroke my cheek, the woman in the mirror moved her hand in the exact same way.
I pinched hard. Pain surged from my cheek.
...W-what on earth is this.
Losing all strength, I collapsed right where I stood.
The cold tile floor informed me that this was reality.
Why on earth? Why me.
Trying to pull myself together, I turned on the shower and sprayed cold water over myself.
However, no matter how much the cold water drenched me and brought me to my senses, reality remained unchanged.
The only thing that changed.
Was just the uncomfortable sensation of wet clothes clinging to my body.
In the end, with nothing resolved, I stepped outside and picked up my smartphone.
Because my hands kept trembling, I couldn't type properly.
After several trial-and-error attempts, I barely managed to perform a search, but.
Woke up as a girl, disease where sex suddenly changes, disease where a man becomes a woman.
I looked it up, researched more, and searched again and again.
Countless search results poured out, but they were all absurd nonsense.
There was no information anywhere that could explain my situation.
Annoyance flared up, so I turned off the smartphone. I couldn't even stand to look at it.
I hugged both my knees and buried my face.
The squishy feeling against my knees felt alien.
"...No way, do I have to live as a woman like this?"
If that's really true, what do I do? Confusion and despair.
Those were the only emotions welling up inside me right now.
How much time had passed? Once my emotions calmed down slightly, another worry surfaced.
How do I prove that I was originally Kim Haeseong?
More than that, can I even use my resident registration number now?
Does a case like this even exist?
No matter how much I thought about it, no answer came to mind.
I remained hunched over in that despair for a long while.
It was just when the sunlight filtering through the window was about to turn into darkness.
Ding-dong.
The sound of the doorbell chimed.
There aren't many people who would come to my house. While I was wondering who it could be, the doorbell rang once more.
Ding-dong, ding-dong.
Who on earth is it? I carefully raised my body and headed toward the front door.
I checked the intercom.
A familiar face stood inside the screen.
It was my close university junior, Yoon Taehyeon.
A guy who usually drops by unannounced to pester me into drinking.
Of all times, right now....
Come to think of it, didn't that guy say his father was a doctor?
He's the only guy around me with connections to the medical field.
Grasping at straws, I unlocked the door lock.
With a cheolkeok sound, the door opened.
Through the opening crack of the door, my eyes met Taehyeon's.
A bright smile was about to spread across Taehyeon's face, but it froze rigid.
"Huh?"
He was flustered. Naturally.
Stepping backward, he scanned my body up and down. His gaze was filled with vigilance.
Taehyeon swallowed hard and asked.
"Uh... who are you?"
I hurriedly hid my body behind the door and poked my face out.
"I-It's me. Taehyeon-ah."
At the thin, trembling female voice, the space between Taehyeon's brows narrowed.
Deep suspicion washed over his eyes.
He stepped back and checked the room number on the front door again.
"...This is the right place."
Taehyeon took another step forward, glaring at me as he spoke.
"Then who are you to know my name? Where is hyung?"
His voice had sunk low.
His usual friendly demeanor was nowhere to be found.
Feeling frantic, I squeezed the door handle tight.
"It's me! Y-Yeah! You getting dumped by your ex-girlfriend, getting plastered, and sleeping in the women's restroom! Only I know about that!"
"...."
"And you're two-timing right now!"
"...Hmm?"
Taehyeon's eyes widened. Then his lips twitched as if he couldn't believe it.
His gaze swept over my wet hair and body once more.
"...Are you really Haeseong-hyung?"
I nodded my head frantically. Hoping against hope he would understand.
Taehyeon clicked his tongue with a blank expression and spoke.
"This is driving me crazy. Let's go inside first. What's with that state you're in?"
In his hand as he stepped inside and closed the door was a convenience store bag, just like any other day.
After locking the door lock, Taehyeon headed toward the room with easy, casual steps.
Then he sat hunched over on the bed.
Sitting on the floor, I looked up at him.
An awkward silence flowed for a brief moment, then Taehyeon rustled the convenience store bag and spoke.
"...First, tell me what happened. Looking at your state, hyung, you don't seem in your right mind either."
Then he pulled out a beer can, set it on the table, and spoke.
The sound of a can lid popping open echoed.
And he pushed the can toward me.
"First, drink. Calm down and tell me slowly."
A voice and expression no different from usual.
My throat felt like it was burning up, so I picked up the can. And I chugged it down.
Thanks to the carbonation sliding down my throat, I felt myself loosening up bit by bit.
And naturally, I confided everything to him one by one.
After taking a sip of beer, I told him that I woke up to find myself like this.
Taehyeon listened to my story in silence.
Every now and then, it felt like his eyes were scanning me, but... well, it must be my imagination.
"I should probably go to a hospital after all...."
Before I could even finish my sentence, Taehyeon took the can from my hand, pulled out a new can, and popped open the lid.
Chiik.
A new beer was placed before my eyes.
"Hyung. They're going to treat you like a crazy person."
...I know that too. One hundred out of one hundred would do just that.
In the first place, would they even believe that I'm Kim Haeseong?
"Then what should I do?"
"First, drink. Augh, this is frustrating. Let's drink first and think. I really don't know what's what either."
Pushed by his insistence, I chugged down the beer again.
I felt like I said something. What did I just say?
"Hey, Taehyeon...."
"Here."
Another beer placed in front of me.
Maybe because I was so frustrated, I just drank whatever he gave me.
Seeing the beer cans and drinking several times.
My vision blurred, and my body lost all strength.
Taehyeon seemed to murmur something, but I couldn't understand the content.
It felt like the world was spinning, and the ceiling and floor were swapping places, but.
Even after that, I drank several more times.
By the time I was seeing two or three of Taehyeon's face.
I saw the corners of his lips curl up grotesquely.
Why? Why are you making that face?
Thinking that, I fell asleep, and what I saw right before falling asleep was.
Taehyeon's deep smile as he looked down at me. An extremely unpleasant one.
Uuk. Ah... ah, I'm dizzy....
I faintly woke up from a sense of discomfort.
What is it? My vision kept shaking up and down. Jjigeok, jjigeok.
I saw Taehyeon's face.
He was breathing heavily, wearing an ecstatic expression.
Why was he in such a hurry?
Because I kept rocking up and down, motion sickness set in.
I felt like throwing up. Uuk.
Jjigeok, jjigeok, jjigeok.
What on earth is this sound?
A squelching, sticky sound kept battering my ears.
I was so dizzy I just wanted to go to sleep.
I heard a sound saying, "Eueut...!" Only then did the squelching sound cease.
It was no longer rocking, and I could finally sleep.
**
...Auhm.
Auk...! Holding my head at another throbbing headache, I opened my eyes.
"Euaah...."
The voice, still trailing off thinly, informed me of reality.
The moment I struggled to raise my body and look around.
"...."
Scattered clothes. A messed-up bed.
Me, completely naked.
That sense of incompatibility spoke. That I definitely hadn't woken up after a peaceful sleep.
Thinking 'no way', I brought my trembling hand down to my groin.
And I checked my place down there, which I had never touched before.
...It was sticky. Something dried up peeled off like a shell.
I know. Because I am a man, there is no way I wouldn't know.
The smell coming from these fingers.
I clenched my teeth to suppress the burst of tears.
Dragging my trembling body, I headed to the bathroom. As if crawling.
I turned on the shower, held the head in my hand, and positioned it facing upward from below.
And with both hands, with my fingers, I inserted them into the hole and gouged.
"Ahhh, no... no...."
To dig it out. To pull out any remaining residue that might be left behind.
Pain continuously surged, but I couldn't tell whether it was felt in my chest or in my lower body.
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