A Maid's Heart
After Lunel had appeared out of nowhere, said her piece, and left, Lora and I headed home. Evening was settling in, and lingering in the forest any longer would have been dangerous even for someone like me.
Lora had insisted with absolute confidence that we could stay a little longer — as if she trusted me completely — but the truth was, I was the one who found it burdensome.
Well, part of that confidence probably came from the fact that Lora herself was an excellent mage. Still, the way she'd been ready to attack Lunel at a moment's notice made me wonder if she had more of a temper than I'd expected.
I figured I ought to talk to her about that sometime. Of course, she hadn't been seriously about to hurl a fireball — but you never knew what kind of trouble that sort of thing could cause if it went wrong.
For today, though, rest came first. I'd smashed every monster we ran into on the way back, and even I was starting to feel worn out. My body was still fine, but pulverizing everything in sight had left me mentally exhausted...
"Hah... So even I'm not invincible after all."
"Pardon?"
"Nothing. Don't worry about it."
I needed to watch what I said. The day Lora realized that what filled this body wasn't her amnesiac young mistress but some random guy, there was no telling what she might do.
Just like earlier — her loyalty ran deeper than I'd expected. If I hadn't stepped in, she really would have attacked Lunel. It would have been a playful fireball, sure, but throwing a ball of flame at someone's face was still a problem.
"Young miss?"
I'd been lost in thought, sitting blankly on the bed, when Lora's face suddenly popped into view. I might have yelped — except this body apparently had nerves of steel, so all I managed was a puzzled tilt of the head.
Was this really a noble young lady? She seemed even more of a tough guy than I'd been in my past life...
Maybe this absurdly oversized gutsiness was exactly what had caused the original story's catastrophe. Someone only moderately brave would never have gone around tormenting people — even commoners — out of sheer inconvenience and a guilty conscience. But combine needlessly thick nerves with reckless drive, and you got someone who embezzled money, harassed others, and ended up banished. That had to be it.
I didn't feel particularly sorry for her. The world was full of people far more deserving of sympathy than the likes of Eriana.
And just as full of suffering, I supposed.
Ah — I'd let my mind wander into nonsense again. I slowly shook my head, scattering the clutter of stray thoughts. This wasn't the time to get lost in pointless tangents. There were far more important things to deal with.
"You look like you've got something you want to ask. Go ahead."
I let out a breath, and Lora quietly searched my eyes. They say the eyes are windows to the soul. Maybe she wanted to know what was going on in my heart.
I wasn't sure how much time passed before she finally spoke.
"Why... are you so kind to someone you've only just met?"
Kind...? Had I heard that right?
"Uh... kind? I thought I was being pretty cold."
"Pardon...?"
She tilted her head, looking genuinely puzzled. No, seriously — I had been ice-cold! There was nothing kind about it!
"Perhaps it's because you lost your memories. You've changed so much from the young miss I used to know. Before, you would have resorted to merciless violence."
".....What?"
What was she saying? No — she was a young lady! Why would a young lady go around beating perfectly innocent people?
"Wait, hold on... Was it really that bad? I just went around thrashing people?"
"There's a reason you were cast out of the family. From early on, the young miss was infamous for running wild however she pleased, using the family name as a shield."
Just imagining it was horrifying. A creature this strong and powerful, rampaging however she liked... It was a miracle they'd stopped at simply driving her out.
Now I understood why the family offered no help whatsoever. They probably wished she'd vanish as quickly as possible. Honestly, cold sweat was starting to trickle down my back.
"And you still came all this way to look after someone like that, Lora..."
"We're friends, after all. Besides, who knows what might happen if anyone else came to see you."
Lora, you're amazing. To volunteer as the personal maid of a creature like that, just because you called her a friend...
Before I knew it, I'd pulled her into a tight embrace. She let out a startled little squeak, struggled at first, then gave in to my strength and went still in my arms.
"Y-Young miss! What are you doing all of a sudden?!"
"I just realized you're an even more incredible person than I thought."
"Huh...?"
Her cheeks seemed to flush a little. She was thoroughly flustered. Well, of course she would be — if a violent, rotten young mistress suddenly hugged you and started praising you, anyone would react that way.
"I-I... that is..."
"Shh. I think I understand how hard you've had it until now. So you can relax. At least for now."
I stroked her back gently, quietly savoring her warmth. I couldn't exactly claim there was no ulterior motive. Yes, I'd hugged her because I genuinely felt sorry for her — but the way her chest pressed against me was also... rather nice.
"Young miss... nnh... Honestly. The young miss who lost her memories doesn't seem like the person I knew at all."
I couldn't bring myself to say that she truly wasn't, so I simply kept stroking her back in silence. Besides, what was I supposed to say in a situation like this? I wasn't that socially oblivious.
"Ahaha... Is that so? I wouldn't know."
In the end, all I could do was play dumb and gently dodge the subject.
And through it all, Lora had no idea what I was thinking. She simply shared her warmth with me, letting me stroke her back in quiet stillness.
In the end, we fell asleep together in the bed again.
I stepped outside for a moment to think, and Lora — completely unaware I'd slipped away — lay in my bed, snoring softly.
The spring breeze drifting through the open window was sweetly pleasant. The glow of the city lights spilled in, illuminating her face.
I sat in the chair by the window, still in my nightclothes, and looked at Lora sleeping beside my bed.
She'd lived a far more pitiful life than I'd imagined. Unlike the game version I'd known, she was a friend-like maid who had come to me of her own free will.
I had no idea how I was supposed to accept that. Because what filled this body wasn't Eriana — it was someone else entirely.
I had no memories of Lora. Only the recollection of watching her through a screen. And yet she, knowing nothing, was welcoming the stranger I'd become with open arms.
It was a situation I couldn't understand. Or maybe I simply didn't want to. The day I presumed to fully grasp Lora's heart would be the day I negated every one of her memories and every piece of her past.
It was almost funny. She clearly cared for me deeply — and yet the original Eriana would only have earned her hatred.
What kind of feelings was I supposed to have for her? Should I reject them, or accept them? Make her a new friend? Or maybe...
My head was overflowing with thoughts. It felt ready to burst at any second; I couldn't stand it.
"Haa..."
I tried sighing, but it didn't help. If anything, it only made my head spin worse.
Maybe it would be better to just fall asleep and think about what came next. At this rate, I was never going to find an answer.
I quietly approached her and stroked her hair. Soft black strands brushed my fingers, carrying a strangely sweet sensation.
Lora, with her sun-ripened brown skin and that healthy, vibrant beauty. There was something oddly alluring about her. Maybe it was because I'd been a man in my past life that I felt this way.
Eyes closed, I slowly soothed the feelings in my chest. Before I knew it, my scattered heart had settled into a quiet calm.
At least for now... it wasn't the right time. Lora might know Eriana, but I didn't know Lora. There was still so much I needed to learn about her.
Until I understood her through and through — until I could truly accept her heart — these feelings were something I ought to hold back.
I nodded once to myself and quietly slipped my feet under the covers. The inside of the bedding, soft against my skin, was warmly heated by her body heat.
It might get a little hot, I thought. Though it didn't last long.
I nodded again, slowly pushed myself deeper in, and held Lora tightly in my arms.
My heart was pounding — strangely fast. It felt feverish, as if I were wide awake.
That thudding heart seemed to know everything: that I'd stroked her hair, leaned in close, breathed against her, and watched her in silence.
Mm... I was probably imagining things.
My breath was a little rough, and my chest was racing.
Knowing nothing about women, I didn't even recognize the feeling for what it was — and drifted off to sleep beside her.