Chapter 84
Translator: Ryuma
Chapter: 84
Chapter Title: The Charm of Villains
We were deep in the midst of plotting our wicked scheme, letting out sinister chuckles.
That's when a swarm of bright-eyed, innocent children came rushing in from somewhere.
"Whoa! Mommy! It's a bear show!"
"Look over there! The real bear is talking!"
"Mr. Bear, you're so cool!"
A crowd of people gathered like a cloudburst. The kids clung to Bear No. 1, who had transformed into a bear, their eyes sparkling with wonder, while the adults whipped out their phones to snap photos.
"Wow, check out the quality on that costume. You'd swear it was a real bear. Every single hair looks alive."
"It's a guerrilla performance! Good thing I brought the kids. Come on, we have to go say hi to Mr. Bear."
"Isn't that horned thing Grimoire? Gotta post this on SNS! #Dreamland #GreatGrimoire #HornedOne #BearToo."
Mad Bear looked down at me with a bewildered expression.
"Groooar... This isn't what I had in mind..."
Tsk tsk. He still hasn't grasped the situation. He's got a long way to go before becoming a top-tier villain.
A true villain never panics in unexpected situations like I do. They improvise on the spot!
Turning crises into opportunities—that's the mark of a first-rate villain!
"Kekeke! That's right! This is the greatest show on earth, put on by the great villain Grimoire and his loyal subordinate Mad Bear: 'The Chaotic Bearling Assault'! Now, if you want photos, it's 500 won per person! Make it 1,000 won if you want me in the shot too!"
Bear No. 1 stared at me in disbelief, but I ignored him and poked his side.
"What are you dawdling for, Bear No. 1? Say your lines already!"
"...I am Mad Bear! The destroyer of heroes... and friend to children!"
Bear No. 1 grumbled reluctantly, but the kids burst into delighted giggles even at that.
"See? This is true chaos! No one saw our villainy coming—perfect success! Kekeke!"
Bear No. 1 let out a deep sigh, then muttered as if giving up.
"...Life with this kid won't be boring, at least."
In the end, we wandered the zoo, surrounded by kids, forced into taking commemorative photos.
Come to think of it, we came here to commit villainy today? Well, we made a decent haul, so it wasn't a total loss...
After the zoo chaos wrapped up, I headed to a fancy dessert cafe.
B-Rank Villain Venom Kiss had invited me. Hmmm, has my fame spread this far already? Of course—subordinates tributing their boss is only natural.
"This way, little villain. Heard you caused a ruckus at the zoo? You must be tired, so let me treat you to some 'special dessert'."
Venom Kiss, clad in an emerald green suit, exuded a venomous allure like a deadly serpent. She smiled sweetly upon seeing me and guided me to a seat.
It seemed suspicious, but a great villain never turns down free dessert!
"Here's the menu. Order whatever you want—anything at all. Don't hold back, pick freely."
"Hmmm... Very well, I'll graciously accept your offering."
I pored over the menu. Chocolate fondue, triple cheesecake, strawberry shortcake, cookies and cream parfait... My mouth watered.
"All of it!"
"...Pardon?"
"Everything on this page! I shall judge which dessert reigns supreme! We must select the ones worthy of surviving after I conquer the world!"
Her expression stiffened for a moment, but she quickly regained her sweet smile.
"Alright, let's do that."
Nom nom nom—
"Mmm! Delicious! Sweets are the best!"
I happily devoured the desserts.
But this woman... keeps sneaking something into my drink? What's that black glass bottle? Syrup?
"You can keep eating? No stomachache or fever?"
"Mmm~! Huh? The taste changed a bit? A tangy kick? Hmm, unique recipe, I suppose!"
"Why... why isn't it working...? It's poison that could knock out an elephant...? I just wanted to teach this brat a lesson..."
"What're you mumbling? If you're not eating that cake, hand it over! I'll finish it for you!"
I polished off even the cake she was muttering over.
The waiter brought the bill. She glanced at it and closed her eyes briefly.
"158,700 won...?"
"You're shaping up to be a fine servant! Keep tributing me like this, and I might promote you to official servant class!"
Venom Kiss bit her lip hard and handed over her credit card.
"Next time... next time, a stronger poison..."
"Huh? You're treating me again next time? Great! I'm always ready for your tributes! Kekeke!"
That evening, Red Tide summoned me to a pork belly joint.
Too much dessert? Foolish! Everyone knows dessert bellies and meat bellies are separate!
Red Tide was younger than expected—a man in his early thirties. Despite being a villain, his eyes burned with a sense of justice.
"Nice to meet you, Grimoire. I'm S-Rank Villain Red Tide."
He offered a serious handshake, but I just waved vaguely.
"I used to be A-Rank Hero Crimson Knight."
Red Tide suddenly launched into his backstory. Hmph. So he betrayed the heroes and became a villain? Traitor!
But that's none of my business! Time to prep for meat! Chop some green onions, stock up on ssamjang for dipping... and don't forget the roasted rice powder!
"One day, I learned the Hero Association's true nature... Those filthy, corrupt bastards... Protecting citizens? All lies! They were riddled with scandals to line their own pockets! I tried exposing the truth, but they framed me and kicked me out... The Hero Association is rotten to the core now! They're not on the side of justice!"
Whatever! The sizzling pork belly on the grill is what's important! Mmm~ Can't wait! Now? Yes, now!
I wrapped three strips of pork belly in lettuce with garlic and a heap of ssamjang. One big bite. Ahh! That's the stuff!
Nom nom—
"Grimoire, you never even registered with the Hero Association. You already knew, didn't you? Their ugliness and hypocrisy!"
"What? Of course, because I'm a villain—"
"You calling yourself a villain... It's a boycott against the Association, right? Even if no one recognizes it, you've been resisting in your own steadfast way! I get it! Your deep, noble intent! I'm not alone fighting that great evil! To think I had such a fine comrade!"
No, wait. This guy's seriously misunderstanding something...
Red Tide ignored me and ranted on, practically on the verge of tears!
"Yes! Heroes like you are the real heroes! Abandoning false glory and comfort, having the courage to sacrifice everything for firm convictions! I'm in awe! I see the true hero in you!"
"Hey! I'm not a hero, I'm a villain! The great villain who'll conquer the world!"
I yelled, but Red Tide had already decided on his own narrative.
"I know. Don't worry. I'll protect your secret with my life. From now on, we'll fight that massive evil together!"
He gave a meaningful smile and piled meat onto my plate.
Hmm... This guy's impossible to reason with. I gave up and focused back on the pork belly. As a genius villain, I know my priorities!
Well, the meat's delicious anyway! And totally free! Fleecing other villains' cash—this is true villainy!
Before I knew it, it was late night after back-to-back villain meetups.
Today's haul: two full meals and one dessert tribute! The villain life is glamorous and abundant!
Feeling a bit tired, I slumped onto a bar stool at Black Dolphin. The bartender was wiping glasses with his usual stoic face.
"So, as I see it, you've got some potential. I'll start you as a servant—be grateful!"
"Sigh... Kid, I'm retired. How many times do I have to say I want peace and quiet?"
Hmph! Playing hard to get!
The bartender's a key figure at Black Dolphin—he must be recruited! Then my tab vanishes, and drinks are infinite!
Right then, the bar fell eerily silent.
Creeeak—
The rusty iron door swung open, and a man stepped in.
It was Eclipse. Still radiating that cold, ominous aura. The black tattoos around his eyes sharpened his piercing gaze.
Hmph! Last time he got cocky with his 'test' nonsense—doesn't sit right with me!
"Little villain, got time tomorrow evening?"
"What's your business with me? I'm a busy villain—no time for nonsense!"
"I'll buy pizza. Important talk."
...Pizza?
"P-Pizza?!"
My eyes lit up! Pizza! That divine, heavenly delight!
"Ahem! Fine! I'll deign to grace you with my time! Be thankful! Pizza... pepperoni with cheese crust! And don't forget the cola! Oh, buffalo wings as a set would be perfect!"
Hehehe, pizza party tomorrow night! Can't wait!