Chapter 79
Chapter 79
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Translator: Ryuma
Chapter: 79
Chapter Title: Villain and the Dog Contest
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Ah... My head's spinning. The whole world seems to shimmer with chocolate pudding and bags of potato chips...
"What? It's still... the third day? How is that possible? Is time moving slower?"
There are all sorts of pains in this world. The sting of a thorn prick, the scrape of a skinned knee, the injustice of being mistaken for a hero... But the one thing that can truly break this body is singular.
A snack ban.
Of course, I wasn't hungry. Everlin's heartfelt meals had been served three times a day without fail.
But... but this is different! Main meals and snacks are worlds apart!
"Uwaaaah... Chocolate... potato chips... pudding... How could you, Everlin... This is too much! Even villains aren't this cruel!"
Squeak-!
Damn those two rat brats appeared in my view. Darkness and White King. Incarnations of betrayal!
They were blatantly holding a jar of peanut butter fresh from the fridge. Licking it off their front paws dipped deep inside, they even smacked their lips as if savoring every bit!
You little...! Eating sweets in front of me is bad enough, but making noises too?!
I bolted up to grab them, but dizziness made me stagger.
Squeak?
White King smirked slyly and shoved his peanut butter-coated paw right in front of my mouth. Taunting me for sure!
Grrr... You little...! Just you wait!
I couldn't hold back my rage and flopped back onto the sofa. Damn it! No strength! I need snacks!
"One bite of Everlin's special pudding would fix this right up... Just one bite... one little bite..."
Squish?
Squishy curled up round and soft at my feet from under the sofa.
Squish squish-
I kneaded the slime furiously to vent my stress. The fluffy, squishy texture felt good.
"Squishy... It's all your fault. You grew huge, you spat up all those veggies, and now the villain's world is crumbling!"
Squish? Squish squish?
Fortunately, after that massive incident a week ago, Squishy had been maintaining its soccer ball size perfectly. Whether it was the strict diet or my 'King's Authority' kicking in, who knows.
Squiiiish...
Ah... Aha! That's it!
As I squished Squishy hard, a brilliant idea hit me. Energy surged through my body. As expected, villains shine brightest when plotting mischief!
"Squishy! Let's go for a walk!"
Squish?
"Yeah, a walk! Didn't you balloon up last time from all that pent-up energy? You definitely need exercise! We'll walk, and... and people often share snacks when they see cute pets, right? Right?!"
A genius plan flashed in my mind. Use Squishy's cuteness to score snacks from people!
Kakat! What a clever, devious villain scheme! I'm a genius villain after all!
"Alright, Squishy! Transform! Into a cute pink retriever!"
Squish squish squish!
Squishy puffed up and shifted into a dog shape. Big floppy ears, long snout, round paws...
A perfect retriever! Aside from the pink color.
"Perfect! Ready for our walk! Everlin! I'm taking Squishy out, won't be back till afternoon!"
"Yes, Master. Understood. Please take these. You need plenty of hydration on walks. And don't forget your hat—the sun's strong this afternoon."
Heh heh, your care for me never changes! My loyal maid!
I opened the bag Everlin handed me. No snacks. Just a water bottle, hat, sunscreen, wet wipes... Ironclad maid indeed.
"Let's go, Squishy! To the park! Charge toward snacks!"
I clipped the leash to Squishy's collar and headed out.
"Oh my! What's that? A moving pink jelly!"
"A dog? But no fur at all? Amazing!"
"Mom! I wanna touch it! It looks so squishy!"
The moment we hit the park, onlookers swarmed like bees. Everyone drawn to Squishy's unique look.
Squiiiish!
Roll roll~
Excited, Squishy rolled across the grass. Curling into a ball like a living soccer ball—definitely not your average dog.
"Hey, that dog... kinda weird, right? No joints or anything..."
"Is it even a dog...? Maybe a monster? World's been rough lately."
"Hmm... still kinda cute though..."
I ignored the murmurs. Of course my minion's special!
Squishy approached other dogs, probably wanting friends. But...
Woof woof! Yelp yelp-!
Every dog tucked tails between legs, trembling as they fled. Even jindos and dobermans bolted in panic at the sight of Squishy.
Kyaka! See that, Squishy? They're all terrified of you! True minion of a villain!
Squish? Squ...?
Squishy looked confused, but I was proud. A real villain's minion should strike fear into other creatures!
"But... no one's giving snacks..."
Contrary to plan, people stared but no treats forthcoming.
Snack hunt mission in peril.
That's when it happened.
"Oh my goodness! I've never seen such a unique, amazing pup in my life!"
A middle-aged lady approached. Flashy hat and clothes screamed wealth.
"Heard about the S City Pet Dog Contest today? First prize is a million won!"
"What?! A million?!"
My horns perked up. A million! Enough to buy premium snacks galore, no waiting for ban end!
"Yes! For the most talented dog. This one's got winner potential—why not enter?"
"Of course! We're entering! Squishy's the most special dog ever! When and where?"
"2 PM, special stage at S City Convention Center. Here's the flyer."
The flyer confirmed: '5th S City Pet Dog Contest'.
"Great intel! Thanks! With Squishy, victory's guaranteed!"
"I'll be watching. Oh, I'm one of the judges. See you on stage!"
She bowed gracefully and left. I whispered to Squishy.
"Hear that, Squishy? Win a million, snack paradise awaits! Time to show the world your uniqueness! Prize money's all mine, naturally!"
As the saying goes: The slime shows off, the master pockets the cash—a true villain proverb!
Squiiiish!
Squishy seemed fired up too. We hurried to the contest venue.
"Ready? Today's the day we rewrite villain history! Stay sharp and follow my orders!"
S City Convention Center (SECC) buzzed with dogs and owners. Fur allergy sufferers wouldn't last a minute.
Pet supply booths ringed the special stage amid blaring music and barking chaos.
Hmph! Dare block this body and Squishy? Outta the way, beasts!
Squiiiish!
I strode majestically through the crowd. Squishy bravely squished alongside, clearing the path.
At registration after twists and turns, I filled out the form boldly.
[Entry Form]
[Owner: Great Grimoire]
[Pet Name: Supreme Minion Squishy]
[Purpose: Million won prize for world conquest funds]
Kakat! Perfect!
"Um... sir? What's the breed?"
Tch, ignorant human. Can't you tell? Fine, I'll enlighten you.
"Ahem, this one's a rare Himalayan Pink Retriever! One of a kind worldwide!"
Squish rumble~
Squishy made its tense signature noise.
The staff eyed Squishy up and down suspiciously.
"Got it, mixed breed. Number 33. Wait backstage."
"Wha?! Mixed breed?! Squishy ain't no mutt! Purebred... pink slime... er, pink retriever...!"
I wanted to grab the clerk's collar, but held back.
Causing a scene risks disqualification—bye-bye million and snacks.
Soon the world will know Squishy's true value! Just watch!
Backstage teemed with contestants and their dogs.
Border collies, golden retrievers, Siberian huskies, Pomeranians... varied breeds, none as special as Squishy.
Hmph! Boring! All so predictable and ordinary! They dare compete with my Squishy? Laughable!
Dogs rushed me panting. Oh, submitting to this body?
But up close to Squishy...
Woof! Woof!
Grrr... grrr!
Yelp! Eek...
They recoiled in terror. One big husky even hid behind its owner, tail tucked.
"Hey... your dog... it's... really weird? Mine's freaking out!"
A lady clutching her scared Pomeranian snapped.
"Weird?! Squishy's just special! Your fluffball's jealous! Squishy outshines it a millionfold!"
We sat, awaiting our turn. Schedule showed Squishy at 33—midway.
"Listen up, Squishy. One goal: million won prize! Show every wondrous ability! Only then will those clueless judges recognize you and hand me the cash! Got it? That's an order!"
Squiiiish...
Squishy seemed more tense than usual, body quivering faintly.
"Relax. You're under the great villain Grimoire! This stage is easier than cold slime!"
Squish squish-!
I petted what I assumed was Squishy's head, encouraging it. Yeah, my minion won't shrink from this!