Chapter 77
Chapter 77
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Translator: Ryuma
Chapter: 77
Chapter Title: The Villain's Plea
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What do I do? What do I do? What the hell do I do!
Cold sweat poured down my forehead in streams.
My back was already soaked through with sweat, my shirt clinging uncomfortably to my skin. But I couldn't give up here!
This was the body of the great villain Grimoire! I could overcome a minor crisis like this no problem!
'Yeah, there's still hope! Everlin doesn't know much about dogs! If I insist it's a rare breed with pink fur, a squishy body, and fur that sometimes melts off, she'll definitely buy it!'
I desperately rationalized to myself, thrusting out my small chest with deliberate bravado.
"Ahem! What are you staring at so intently, Everlin! This one's got a pretty weird look, huh? That's because it's such a precious body! It's not some common mutt you can find anywhere!"
I poked at Malcang with my toe, prodding insistently. Whether it caught on to my intent or just found it annoying, Malcang squirmed... no, wriggled its body a bit.
"Come on, Malcang! Show Everlin your mighty bark! Prove what a majestic beast you are! Bark!"
Yeah, dogs naturally go woof-woof! If it barks big and loud, Everlin will fall for it hook, line, and sinker!
Malcang stared blankly at me for a moment, then opened its mouth wide. Great! Bark away!
Qrurung~
"......"
"......"
An awkward silence settled over the living room. What was that just now...? Not woof-woof or arf-arf, not even grr... but qrurung~?
"...Master."
Everlin spoke in a voice that had turned icy cold.
"Was that... a dog's bark?"
"Y-yeah! It was! A very unique and cool one, right! Kyakakat!"
I forced a laugh and made excuses, but cold sweat was cascading down like a waterfall.
Damn you, Malcang! Why make such a weird noise of all things!
"No matter how I listen, it doesn't sound like a dog's bark. If anything..."
"These days, individuality is key even for puppies! There's no law saying they all have to go woof-woof! This one's communicating with the world in its own way! Forcing uniform barking is totally outdated! Everlin, you need to think more flexibly and openly!"
I spun the most plausible excuse I could muster. That's right, it's the age of diversity! There's no rule saying all dogs have to bark the same!
But despite my desperate excuses, things only got worse. Now even Malcang's form was collapsing!
The retriever shape it had been struggling to hold began melting away, slowly reverting to its original pink jelly-like state.
"Eek! Th-this, this is!"
I yelped in panic. I had to get out of this somehow!
"T-ta-da! Surprised, huh, Everlin! Actually, this one's got shapeshifting abilities too! I told you it was special! It can even turn into this tiny form!"
I hurriedly commanded Malcang again.
"Malcang! Shrink smaller! Turn into a tiny puppy! Yeah, a cute poodle! A pink jelly poodle!"
Qwooo...
But it seemed to have reached its limit; Malcang let out a strained sound, its body trembling. It barely managed a small poodle shape for a second...
Qyu!
And in the end, it fully reverted to its original round, squishy slime form!
"......"
"......"
Another suffocating silence descended on the living room.
This was it. Really over. No more excuses left. I just wiped at the sweat dripping nonstop.
Everlin's cold gaze pierced back and forth between the pink slime slumped on the floor and me.
"It looks like... a slime-type monster, Master."
Everlin delivered the final verdict. No more hiding or deceiving now.
"...Yeah, you're right."
I let out a deep sigh and confessed honestly. No point in lying anymore since it was out.
"Truth is... Malcang's a slime monster. I found it by chance on the way back from Cheongryong Mountain... It looked so weak and pitiful, so I brought it home. I named it Malcang... Can I keep it...?"
I tried to sound dignified, but my voice kept shrinking. I was scared of Everlin's reaction.
"No, Master."
As expected, Everlin was firm.
"We can't bring some unidentified monster into the house. It could be dangerous. Take it back where it came from right now."
"Nooo! I don't wanna! Absolutely not!"
I shouted in outrage. Throw it away? Dump Malcang? Malcang was already my precious minion!
"Malcang's my minion! How can you tell me to abandon it now! I absolutely refuse!"
But Everlin wouldn't budge. She just stared at me with that cold, resolute expression.
"For your safety, Master, that monster must be dealt with."
"I said no! Why won't you listen! I'm a villain! Does it make sense for a villain to abandon their minion!"
In the end, I resorted to my last weapon: throwing a tantrum flat on the floor!
Thud!
I flopped onto the living room floor. Then I thrashed my arms and legs with all my might, screaming and wailing!
"Waaah! Nooo! I'm gonna keep Malcang! I'm definitely gonna keep it! Why won't you let me! It's so cute and weak! I'll feed it! Take it for walks! Train it into a great minion!"
Flail-flail-
"Look at it! It's so pitiful! If we abandon it, Malcang won't last a day on the streets and'll dry up and die! It's so... so squishy! Isn't that sad?! Waaah! Let me keep it! Everliiin! Pleeease~!"
I begged with every ounce of flailing energy. At this point, even the ice-cold Everlin would soften...
"It won't work, Master."
...or so I thought. Not even close. Everlin didn't bat an eye, just looked down at me.
If anything, she looked pitying! That's too much!
Right then.
Malcang, which had been slumped beside me, suddenly made a 'qyu-kyu!' noise and perked up.
Then, as if resolved, it rolled straight toward Everlin!
"Huh? Malcang?"
What? A head-on battle? A maid vs. slime showdown!?
Malcang stopped in front of Everlin, then suddenly spread itself out and started wiping the floor!
It rolled around, absorbing every speck of dust and hair on the living room floor without missing a spot.
Like a living vacuum cleaner!
"Qyu-kyu!"
Once cleaning was done, Malcang rolled to the dining table. It devoured the leftover bacon grease and bread crumbs from breakfast in seconds!
Food waste disposal ability?
The amazement didn't stop there. Malcang approached an empty plate on the table and selectively absorbed only the stuck-on grime! The plate sparkled like new in an instant!
This was... perfect auto-dishwashing too!
"See! Did you see that, Everlin! How perfectly I've trained Malcang! What a useful minion! It cleans! Handles food scraps! Even does the dishes! How could you throw away such a capable subordinate!"
I jumped up triumphantly and shouted. A flicker of surprise crossed Everlin's eyes.
Yes! It worked!
Brimming with hope, I clung to Everlin again.
"I can keep it, right? Huh? Pleeease~ Yeah? It's so good and useful, it'd be too cruel to abandon it! Right? Everlin~?"
Everlin looked back and forth between Malcang and me in silence for a moment, then let out a deep sigh.
"Sigh... Actually, Master, I knew from the first day that you were hiding something in your room."
"Wh-what?!"
I couldn't believe my ears. She knew from day one?! So she'd been playing along all this time?!
"Your behavior patterns were subtly different from usual, and strange noises came from your room often. I peeked through the door crack and saw a pink thing moving. And most tellingly..."
Everlin pointed to Darkness and White King, who were peeking from the living room corner.
"These two... were very cooperative with me."
"What?! H-hold on! I definitely promised you guys top-shelf peanut butter to keep your mouths shut! What happened!"
"I offered double, and they spilled everything immediately."
"You traitors!!"
Darkness and White King glanced at each other amid my furious shout, chirping away, then shamelessly shrugged.
Chirp-chirp!
Chirp-chirp-chirp!
Triple the gain? They thought themselves wise opportunists?
The little punks shrugged smugly, then bolted into their mouse holes to escape my wrath!
"You... you snitches! Rat bastards!"
At that moment, Everlin smiled softly. Huh? She wasn't mad?
"You've grown a lot, Master. The old you would've hidden it to the bitter end. I'm really happy you came clean like this."
Praise...? My face burned hot at the sudden compliment.
"Hmph! Of course! I've always been an honest and straightforward villain! I-I just hid it briefly... very briefly... so you wouldn't be shocked!"
"Understood. So, Malcang, was it? I permit keeping this one. But there are a few rules."
"Rules?"
"First, feeding rules. Manage it strictly so it doesn't eat just anything. Second, hygiene rules. Make sure the slime it secretes or other contaminants don't dirty the house. Third, living rules. It sleeps in a designated spot at night, and train it not to damage household items. Promise to follow these rules, and I'll allow Malcang to stay."
I pondered Everlin's rules for a moment, then nodded.
"Fine! I promise! I'll take full responsibility and train Malcang properly! If it breaks the rules... you can do whatever you want then!"
"A wise decision, Master."
I finally got Everlin's permission! Unable to hide my joy, I rushed over and hugged her tight.
"Everlin's the best! The world's greatest maid!"
Everlin smiled softly and patted my back. Her embrace was as warm and comforting as ever.
Qwooo!
Malcang bounced happily around my legs, rubbing against them.
Now Malcang was no longer a secret. It had become a proud new member of our household!
With Malcang, world conquest will be even smoother from now on! Another grand victory for me today!