Chapter 75
Chapter 75
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Translator: Ryuma
Chapter: 75
Chapter Title: The Villain's Dilemma
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A peaceful afternoon lounging on the sofa after lunch, idly munching on snacks to savor this rare moment of leisure. Even villains need their rest!
Especially someone like me, with grand ambitions of world conquest.
But then, an unwelcome intruder shattered my precious downtime... It was Everlin.
Knock, knock.
"Master? May I come in?"
"Yeah! Come on in!"
Everlin entered the room with her usual expressionless face. But in her hands, she carried something different from the norm: a feather duster, a vacuum cleaner, and even a high-pressure steam cleaner!
"Wh-what's going on? Why'd you bring such menacing tools?"
Everlin gazed at me with her blank expression.
"Master, pardon the intrusion. It's time to clean the room."
"Clean? Didn't you just tidy it up yesterday? Already time for another round?"
"That was just a quick spruce-up. It's been quite a while since a proper deep clean. Especially your room tends to get dirtier than others, so it needs regular maintenance."
"My room isn't that bad! It's plenty clean as is!"
My voice rose defensively, hit a little too close to home. Honestly, my room was... a tad messy. Just a tiny bit. But that's the natural state of a villain's lair!
More importantly, cleaning?! A proper one at that?! That could blow Malpangi's cover wide open!
"W-wait a second! That's a breach of our agreement! Respect a villain's privacy! We agreed on once a month!"
"That's for deep cleans. Routine cleaning is a daily principle."
"Prin-principle? What principle?"
"It's a maid's duty to keep her master's quarters spotless. Regrettably, refusal won't work. I am... inevitable."
Everlin stated firmly with her expressionless face. Her blue eyes gleamed with unyielding resolve: no refusals allowed.
"B-but... today I'm plotting some important villainy..."
"You can scheme all you want after. A clean space might even spark more devious ideas."
Vrrrrm—
Everlin switched on the vacuum. The roar drowned my despair.
"Everlin! Obey your villain master's command! The master's word is absolute! Stop right now!"
But my words vanished under the noise. Everlin moved with astonishing efficiency, scooping up scattered clothes and dusting the desk.
I had no choice but to concede defeat. This is why you can't beat Everlin. She's just... Everlin.
"F-fine... clean if you must. But! I'll be watching, so don't toss anything!"
Everlin paused the vacuum and nodded.
"Of course. I won't discard your precious items."
She headed for the wardrobe. My heart started pounding.
Malpangi was under the bed, so that was safe, but the closet held other things I wanted hidden.
The moment she opened the drawer, Everlin's eyebrow twitched ever so slightly.
"Oh my."
In her hand was an orange orb, etched with a star in the center.
"Ah, that's part of my precious collection! Collect seven and it grants a wish..."
Before I finished, Everlin pulled out more oddities one by one.
A black-covered notebook (Death Note), parchment blueprints for Pluto, a wand made from a toy pistol tree...
"Master, where did you get these?"
"Th-those are... tools for villainy! Secret weapons for when I conquer the world!"
"Another impulse buy from Amazon or eBay, I presume. Is your allowance too generous?"
"Eek! Don't touch my allowance! Unless you want to see a truly enraged villain!"
Everlin calmly sorted the items on the table, dusting each with a fresh cloth.
She continued cleaning the room, vacuuming every corner of the bedroom and wiping away ancient dust. Finally, her gaze turned to the bed.
"Now, the area under the bed."
My heart nearly burst through my ribs! Darkness clouded my vision!
Under the bed was my secret stash! And above all, Malpangi was there!
"N-no! Under the bed's fine! I already cleaned it!"
"No, I'll check."
Everlin ignored me, knelt down, and peered underneath without hesitation!
"Wait! No!"
"Hm?"
Surprise tinged Everlin's voice.
"...The underside is... unnaturally spotless."
She looked up at me, eyes full of questions.
"Normally it'd be crammed with game cartridges, broken toys, empty snack bags, weird rocks, and twigs...?"
"What?"
I peered under the bed in disbelief.
I was shocked. It was truly empty! My secret hoard had vanished, not a speck of dust left!
"Did you clean it yourself, Master? How commendable. You can accomplish anything when you set your mind to it."
I blanked for a second, then flashed a smug grin.
"Of course! I can do anything I want! A top-tier villain cleans perfectly too!"
Whatever happened, it worked out! I'd dodged Everlin's suspicions!
Everlin checked again and nodded.
"Impressively clean. Please keep it this tidy from now on; it'll make my job easier."
Chaos swirled in my mind. Where did my treasures go?
Could it be... Malpangi...?
'No way!'
I scanned around stealthily. Where the heck was Malpangi?
Everlin pressed on with the cleaning.
She wiped window frames, swapped curtains for fresh ones, and steamed the floor.
Throughout, I hunted for Malpangi traces, but nothing.
'Where did it go... Did it finally escape? Or...'
Suddenly, a cold sensation crept up my arm. Goosebumps exploded.
Something was climbing my wrist!
"Eek!"
I glanced down instinctively. A pink slime had morphed into a bracelet, snug on my wrist!
This shape and texture... definitely Malpangi!
"Master?"
Everlin eyed me curiously at my yelp, her gaze lingering on my wrist.
"That's a new bracelet. Recent purchase? The design is quite... unique."
"Uh? Oh, no! This is... spoils from those hero punks! Yeah, a rare limited edition! Cutting-edge material, hero-exclusive gear!"
I smiled naturally, waving my wrist. Malpangi got the hint, hardening like a rigid bracelet, perfectly still.
"Cleaning's done. I'll be going now."
"Y-yeah! Good work, Everlin!"
Everlin gathered her tools and left. Only then did I exhale sharply.
"Hoo... dodged another one..."
I examined the bracelet-form Malpangi.
"Good job, Malpangi! If you could do that, you should've said so sooner! A transformation ability like this!"
Kyuu?
Malpangi slowly reverted, bouncing around me happily.
"But why was under the bed so clean? Where are my precious things...?"
A horrifying thought struck. I rushed to check the drawer again—still empty.
"Don't tell me... you...?"
Malpangi puffed up proudly at my suspicious question.
Inside its translucent body, I faintly saw outlines: game cartridges, rocks, even snack bags!
"Gaaah! My precious collection!"
I checked the drawer frantically.
"Malpangi... did you eat them all?"
The Dragon Balls were down from seven to three, and Death Note had become "Eat Note"!
Pages were even chewed midway! The Grimoire Empire's blacklist, no less!
"You... ungrateful slime!"
Why do my subordinates always cause me such headaches?
Kyuu! Kkyu kkyu!
Malpangi, oblivious, bounced triumphantly like a hero, basking in joy.
It probably thought it'd heroically "cleaned" under the bed, saving me from suspicion.
"True... you got us through the crisis, but... my collection..."
I sighed and flopped onto the bed. Malpangi climbed my knee, rubbing softly as if consoling me.
"Sigh... fine, got it. It's not your fault. Actually, thanks to you. Good job, Malpangi. We survived another close call."
How long can I keep up this tightrope walk?
'Maybe I should've just come clean...'
Too late now. We'd gone too far. I'd have to raise Malpangi in secret from Everlin somehow.
"Yeah, I can do it! I'm the great villain Grimoire!"
Today's fiasco revealed key facts.
First, Malpangi can shapeshift into various forms. Second, it eats objects. A lot of them...
"Then... this isn't a crisis—it's an opportunity! Use your powers, and my villainy will thrive!"
Kyuu!
"Priority one: keep you hidden from Everlin! But now it'll be easier. Disguise as a bracelet or necklace when needed!"
Kyuu!
Thinking it over, Malpangi was the perfect villain minion.
Disguise anywhere, anytime; erase evidence for perfect crimes!
Way better than cheap Amazon merch!
"Alright, back to your hideout. Everlin might return."
I carefully tucked Malpangi into the secret bed space, even making a snack-box home.
Kkyu kkyu—!
Malpangi settled in, looking content.
Glancing around, the room gleamed anew. Sure, most treasures were in Malpangi's gut, but...
"Can't be helped. Even Malpangi needs nutrition!"
Then, a chilling thought hit.
"Wait... if Malpangi eats all my stuff... next it'll be me..."
I shuddered at the nightmare.
"No, no! Malpangi's loyal! Drop the scary thoughts!"
Still, unease lingered. Tonight, I'd sleep with one eye open, just in case, as I lay down.