Chapter 73
Chapter 73
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Translator: Ryuma
Chapter: 73
Chapter Title: Villain's Smuggling
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I came down from Blue Dragon Mountain and sat on a bench in a nearby park. I checked three times to make sure no one was around. The operation this body had planned was top secret!
"Alright, everyone, pay attention! My loyal minions! From this moment on, we are launching... a top-secret operation!"
I whispered to my minions in a lowered voice. Darkness and White King perked up their ears as they sat on my lap. I could feel faint movements from inside my backpack too.
"It's called 'Operation: Pink Invade'! Our mission is to sneak Mallcang into Crown Villa Room 301 without Everlin finding out about her existence. Ka-kat!"
As expected, this body's operation names were always flawless!
"This is our little secret! Of course, Everlin will find out eventually... but it's crucial to sneak her in first, let her settle in, and then gradually reveal her! If Everlin catches us..."
Squeak!?
I drew my finger across my throat, and both Darkness and White King widened their eyes at the same time.
I exaggerated a bit for dramatic effect. But honestly, it wasn't much of an exaggeration.
"We're all done for! It could go beyond a week without dessert to a full month without snacks! Got it? If you understand, at least squeak something!"
I glared at them with the most serious expression I could muster. Hoping my sincerity would get through.
But... huh? Why were they reacting like this?
Squeak squeak...
Squeak?
Darkness and White King winked at each other, then whispered something between themselves.
What was with those sneaky expressions? They looked just like delinquent thugs plotting something shady in a back alley!
'Why us?'
'We're not done for, right?'
Wh-what? These guys! They were already plotting mutiny!
Squeak!
"Need something to cooperate?"
Squeak squeak.
"What? You'll keep your mouths shut if there's peanut butter!?"
The two rats nodded vigorously, giving my bag meaningful glances.
What...? Such brazen blackmail!
"You...!"
My body trembled with rage. Had I spoiled them too much? If this body had sinned, it was only in being too merciful to my minions!
"You ungrateful wretches! How dare you blackmail this body? Disloyal! Do you think you have nine lives!?"
Piu?
Suddenly, a cry came from inside the bag. Mallcang, sounding anxious, poked her head slightly out from between the zipper teeth.
"It's nothing, Mallcang. Just my minions suddenly staging a rebellion... and trying to blackmail their master!"
Squeak, squeak squeak.
"Not blackmail, but 'negotiation'? What kind of negotiation grabs the master's weakness!"
That wicked smile...! That was definitely a villain's grin! A third-rate, low-quality one at that!
Squeak squeak! (Premium organic!)
Squeak! (With almonds!)
They even memorized the store-brand stuff only sold at Grand Mart?? These weren't villain minions; they were straight-up bandits! Truly a horrifying case of insubordination.
I let out a deep sigh and made my decision. Right now, getting Mallcang home safely was the top priority.
If I got into a tussle with the rats and Everlin found out, it really would be over.
Fine, whatever! I'll buy some peanut butter! I can work them ten times, a hundred times harder later!
"Fine... premium organic almond peanut butter... I'll buy it..."
Darkness and White King high-fived each other in delight. They spun around on the bench, dancing their victory jig.
"But!"
I raised my finger and warned them sternly.
"If Everlin finds out, you'll be eating dog chow for a month! Got it?"
At my threat, the two immediately stopped dancing and made a zipping motion over their mouths with their front paws. Then they crossed their hearts, swearing secrecy.
"Good. Now, let's begin the real operation briefing."
We needed a meticulous plan. Charging in without strategy wouldn't dodge Everlin's sharp gaze.
Squeak squeak!
Darkness and White King pretended to focus. Not bad; they looked like loyal minions for once.
As expected, this body's masterful use of carrot and stick was unparalleled!
"First, Plan A: Frontal assault. Be honest with Everlin! 'This body has recruited a new minion, so welcome her' or something like that..."
I closed my eyes briefly, imagining the ideal scenario.
Everlin's face lighting up with a smile, a warm welcome, a little party for Mallcang...
Then the realistic scenario.
Everlin's cold stare, black flames, an order to ditch it immediately...
"Ugh... scratch that! Plan A is canceled!"
Squeak squeak?
Darkness rolled her little eyes with an 'I knew it' look.
White King even smacked his forehead with a tiny paw.
These guys, daring to mock their master?
"So! Straight to Plan B! Operation 1: Hide Mallcang from Everlin. Let's think of spots. Fridge?"
Piu...?
A worried sound came from the bag.
"No, too cold. She'd freeze to death! I can't turn a minion into slime sorbet! Bathroom? Hmm... too humid. Closet? Eh, risk of Everlin finding her while organizing my clothes."
In that case...
"Under the bed is perfect! It's stuffed with junk, and even Everlin declared it a 'no-clean zone.' The ideal hideout!"
Piu-
But if, just if, Everlin discovered her? Then I'd have to deceive her!
"Operation 2: If caught, fool Everlin! 'This is a new cleaning tool! It sucks up dust!' How about that? Or 'A slime-shaped gel cushion I stole from a hero!' What do you think?"
Squeak?
White King shot me a doubtful look. As if to say, 'You think that'll work?'
"Th-then... Operation 3... the last resort..."
This was something I really... really didn't want to use. It was a matter of dignity and pride as a villain! But... for Mallcang...
"...Throw a tantrum and beg...!"
...Forget villain dignity or whatever; roll on the floor, cry, and cling desperately.
Squeak squeak! Squeak squeak!
Darkness and White King nodded enthusiastically, even giving thumbs-up with their paws.
"You like seeing my dignity hit the dirt that much? Casually badmouthing when it's not your pride!"
Squeak squeak!
The two rats grinned even wider. What infuriating minions!
"Ahem! Operation 3 damages a villain's dignity too severely, so it's only for the absolute final, world-ending scenario!"
I beckoned the rats.
"Anyway, you two. As intel operatives of the Grimoire Empire, you've perfectly grasped Everlin's schedule and patterns, right?"
The two exchanged glances, then White King pulled a paper from his tiny pouch. Unfolding it revealed an astonishingly detailed chart of Everlin's daily routine.
Overlaid on a floor plan of Crown Villa were her estimated movements by time slot and major activities (cleaning, cooking, tea time, reading, etc.), marked with military precision.
Even average durations for each activity and potential variables were noted in tiny print.
Squeak squeak.
Squeak-
White King pointed at the chart like a spy briefing, while Darkness nodded and added supplemental explanations.
"So... Everlin's busiest in the kitchen prepping dinner from 6 to 7 PM... right now! Perfect timing!"
I drew the Crown Villa floor plan in the air with my finger, explaining the infiltration route.
"Here's the op summary! This body enters boldly through the front door, heads straight to the bedroom while Everlin's in the kitchen! Hide Mallcang under the bed! Darkness, White King, you infiltrate first as scouts and confirm Everlin's position. Signal if anything's off. Signal method... right, three cat meows!"
Squeak squeak squeak?
I slightly unzipped the backpack and peeked inside. Mallcang's pink body was wriggling.
"Mallcang, stay quiet until we get home. Got it?"
Piu piu!
"Don't worry! A true villain never abandons their minions! This body will protect you for sure!"
Darkness and White King rolled their eyes and sighed at each other.
"Operation starts now! Everyone, move out!"
My heart pounded when I arrived at Crown Villa. Darkness and White King had already dashed into the lobby to begin scouting.
I clutched the backpack tightly, waiting anxiously. Would this work? Everlin's instincts were too sharp. She'd sniff out anything hidden in no time─
"Oh my, Grimoire dear! Back from hero work today too?"
"Eek!"
I jumped in shock. Mrs. Kim's sudden appearance nearly stopped my heart.
"Ah, Mrs... Mrs. Kim! This body isn't a hero, it's a villain! How many times do I have to say it! Not hero work, villain work!"
Piu?
Suddenly, Mallcang got excited in the bag and started squirming. I hurriedly gripped the backpack tighter.
"Shh!"
"Huh? What was that?"
"Ah, nothing! Just telling it to stay quiet... no, that's not─"
Piu piu!
A sound leaked from the backpack. Mrs. Kim's eyes went to the bag.
"Oh, is something making noise in your bag?"
"The bag's just... hungry, so it's making sounds!"
"The bag's hungry?"
"Yeah! It's the latest AI backpack! You wouldn't get it, ma'am, but it's cutting-edge villain tech! It makes hungry noises when the battery's low!"
Mrs. Kim nodded skeptically.
"The stuff you young folks use these days is amazing. We couldn't even imagine it back then..."
White King suddenly appeared at my feet, sending an urgent signal.
Squeak squeak!
The signal that Everlin had started dinner prep. Time to execute the infiltration.
"Mrs. Kim, this body has urgent business, so excuse me!"
Creeeak─
I opened the door to 301 and entered.
The entryway sensor light flicked on, and I stood before the familiar door. My heart raced wildly. Sweat beaded on my palms.
What a great villain, trembling over one maid? It didn't make sense... but it was Everlin.
"Everlin! This body has returned! Loyal maid, welcome your villain's homecoming!"
I hid the backpack behind me and shouted in an exaggeratedly cheerful voice.
A delicious aroma wafted from the kitchen. Everlin, in her perfect maid outfit, was preparing dinner as usual.
"Welcome home, Master. I'm preparing miso ramen and karaage."
"Ooh! As expected of the best maid, Everlin! This body will go change in the room first, so don't disturb me!"
I deliberately gushed even more effusively, averting my eyes from Everlin. Instead of tossing the bag anywhere, I slyly tucked it behind my back.
"Master, shall I organize your bag as usual?"
"N-no! It's fine! You're busy cooking; this body can handle it!"
Everlin's gaze shifted subtly.
"Is that so? How did the Blue Dragon Mountain Gate incident go?"
I swallowed hard.
"Oh, that? Nothing big! The gate opened then suddenly closed! The monsters must've chickened out! The heroes just flailed around uselessly? Especially that gold pixie was utterly worthless!"
I kept hiding the backpack behind me, inching toward the bedroom.
Then, Everlin's eyes locked onto my bag.
"Master, is there... something in that bag...?"
'Wh-what do I do? She noticed? It's all over! Mallcang's about to become street slime....'
Crash!
At that moment, Darkness and White King knocked a bowl off the table!
Perfect timing! My minions deliver! Worth every bit of that peanut butter!
"Hm? Looks like the rats caused trouble again."
Everlin's gaze snapped to the noise. I couldn't miss this chance!
"Y-yeah! Darkness and White King are too mischievous; make sure to scold them! This body's tired, so I'll rest in the room! Call me when dinner's ready!"
Bang!
I dashed to the bedroom and shut the door.
"Phew..."
A sigh of relief, and cold sweat trickled down my back.
I carefully set the bag down and unzipped it. Inside, Mallcang looked up at me, a bit squished.
"Operation success! Mallcang, this is your new home! The secret hideout of the great Grimoire! Like it?"
Piu! Piu piu piu!
I gently lifted Mallcang out. The pink slime bounced around, exploring.
"Feel free to look around this body's room. But don't leave traces. Everlin notices everything. Now, time to set up your safe hideout─"
Knock knock.
The sudden knock stopped my heart.
"Master?"
Everlin's voice.
"Eek!"
I frantically grabbed Mallcang and shoved her under the bed.
"Mallcang, stay quiet! No sounds!"
I plopped on the bed, crossed my legs casually, and flipped open a book. Upside down, but that wasn't the issue now.
I cleared my throat loudly and spoke in the calmest voice possible.
"Come in!"
Everlin quietly opened the door and entered. Her eyes quickly scanned the room.
"Master, dinner is ready."
"Oh, already? Faster than I thought!"
I forced a smile. Glancing under the bed, I saw pink slowly sliding toward the wall. I hurriedly coughed to draw Everlin's attention.
"Ahem! Great! Let's go before the ramen gets cold!"
She eyed the bed suspiciously once more but, thankfully, did nothing else.
"Everlin! What are you dawdling for! This body is hungry now!"
I led Everlin out and closed the door. One last check: no sign of Mallcang. Good, well hidden.
The first hurdle was cleared.
But hiding Mallcang from Everlin's eyes from here on out... how tough would that be?
The true smuggling operation had only just begun.