Chapter 5
Chapter 5
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Translator: Ryuma
Chapter: 5
Chapter Title: Villain and the Park
-----------------------------------------------------------------
The warm embrace of the blankets was the most perfect space in the world. An ideal paradise completely shielded from any outside interference—a personal fortress belonging solely to this body!
At that moment, a sweet fragrance tickled the tip of my nose. It was as if the entire world had been crafted from dessert. Rich, velvety chocolate cake, fluffy whipped cream, and sweet, creamy pudding...
"A tribute of desserts offered to this body, conqueror of the world! An attempt to soothe my wrath with these sweet offerings!"
I sat upon my throne, lifting a slice of cake to my mouth, when suddenly the scenery around me began to warp. The mountains of dessert crumbled, and the golden throne collapsed.
The next instant, a bank lobby stretched out before me.
"Great Grimoire! You are our hero!"
"Thank you, hero! Thank you for saving us!"
"The kindest and cutest hero in history!"
The citizens applauded and cheered for me.
"Eek! This body is an evil villain! You all should kneel in terror!"
I bolted upright with a scream. Cold sweat trickled down my forehead.
"Phew, what a relief. It was all just a dream."
I pulled the blankets back over myself. Being called a hero? That was truly the worst nightmare.
"Master, it's been an hour past wake-up time."
I whipped my head around in surprise at Everlin's voice. How long had she been standing there?
As always, my perfect maid stood there with an expressionless face.
"Hmm... Today calls for deep contemplation on world conquest. So, I need a bit more sleep."
Everlin's gaze prickled, but I ignored it and buried my face in the pillow.
World conquest was important, of course, but so was this body's morning sleep!
Besides, the utmost villainy required the utmost rest!
"Master, it's already past 10 a.m. Today's villainy plans are all getting delayed."
"...Just five more minutes."
"You said that thirty minutes ago."
"This body is a villain! Villains don't need to wake up early! Let the heroes train at dawn!"
The horrific memory from yesterday resurfaced. The pathetic reality where this body had been mistaken for a hero!
I pulled the blankets tighter.
If I could just sleep forever like this, yesterday's humiliation would cease to exist, right?
Farewell, world! This body departs once more for the realm of dreams!
And so, Grimoire ceased thinking—
Swish—
"Eek! My eyes!!"
Suddenly, blinding sunlight flooded the room. Everlin had flung open the curtains.
It's the weekend, so sleeping in a little should be fine...!
"Master, I've prepared special black tea and blueberry scones for breakfast."
Blueberry scones...?
If it's Everlin's special scones... Crispy exterior, soft interior, and perfectly balanced blueberry jam...
Ugh, but the bed is so warm. I can eat the scones later, right?
"Sigh... What a shame."
I heard Everlin sigh. Was she finally giving up?
In that case, victory for this body today! World conquest might be far off, but in the battle of the bed, I am invincible!
"While you're sleeping, other villains are probably out committing wicked deeds as we speak..."
Huh? Other villains?
"I saw on the morning news that a new villain appeared. They robbed a big supermarket... I'm worried they might steal your spot, Master."
What?! Other villains surpassing this body?
"How dare they encroach on this body's domain! The greatest villain in the world is this body alone! They won't get away with disturbing the slumber of Sleeping Grimoire!"
I shot up. Or tried to.
Thud!
"Urgh... What is this?!"
My head felt heavy. What the—? My horn was stuck in the pillow! My favorite pillow now had a hole!
"Everlin! Get this off me...!"
"Pfft, I'll help you, Master."
"What? Did you just laugh? You laughed, didn't you?"
"No. Absolutely not. It's just... Your morning appearance looks so love— I mean, dignified."
Everlin approached and carefully removed the pillow. A faint smile flickered across her lips before vanishing.
"More importantly, tell me about that news! How dare that villain aim for this body's position? Robbed a supermarket? Do you know what wickedness they're planning next? This body will pay them a visit and teach them what a true villain is!"
"Ah, actually, there was no such news."
"...What?"
"It was a little ploy to wake you up, Master."
Realizing I'd been tricked, my face burned.
"Everlin! How dare you deceive this body...!"
"It'd be best to eat breakfast before it gets cold. The scones are leaving their prime temperature."
The blueberry scones' aroma tempted me like the devil's whisper. Gah, this rivals the allure of burgers and fries...
"Hmph! This once, I'll specially forgive you! Be grateful for this body's magnanimity!"
I leaped out of bed. A great villain knows when to overlook a subordinate's minor faults!
"Today, I'll commit even greater and more magnificent villainy! I'll make them forget yesterday's misunderstanding and engrave the image of a true villain!"
"Perhaps change clothes first..."
Only then did I realize I was in my bunny pajamas.
"Uh... Er. This body is fine like this! Even in bunny pajamas, I can inspire terror!"
I blustered, but my reflection in the mirror was utterly pathetic. Pink bunny-eared pajamas, tousled silver hair, and the horn that had popped out from the pillow...
"Master, how about breakfast first? I'll prepare your bath in the meantime."
Everlin was flawless as always. Neat maid uniform, black hair tied back, impeccable demeanor.
I need to keep some distance from Everlin during villain declarations. My greatness and wickedness might get overshadowed. Everyone would just stare at her!
Everlin's breakfast was always perfect.
The table held a breakfast fit for royalty. Black tea steamed from the cup, flanked by crispy-looking blueberry scones, fresh fruit salad, and fluffy eggs.
"Everlin is the greatest maid in the universe!"
"You're too kind, Master."
I first tried to eat elegantly, like Everlin.
Using fork and knife with refined grace, as poised as possible, but...
Nom nom nom!
In the end, I devoured it ravenously. Come to think of it, table manners are irrelevant for a villain on the cusp of world conquest!
I stuffed my mouth with scone. Crispy crust, soft insides, and perfectly sweet blueberry jam in harmony.
Who knew such joys existed after living so long! Well, I've only been awake for two years!
"Master, you have jam on your mouth. You could eat a bit slower..."
"Hmph! Villains have no time! Every moment is a chance for world conquest!"
I shoved another scone in whole. Eating delicious food slowly? Everlin says the oddest things sometimes!
"By the way, Master, about yesterday..."
I nearly spat out my black tea. Yesterday? Bringing up that nightmare?!
"Don't mention it! It was clearly a mistake! This body is too perfect, that's why they mistook me for a hero!"
"So, what plan have you devised for today?"
Everlin's question sparked a flash of inspiration.
Yes, this body's genius mind had turned yesterday's failure into a lesson for a greater scheme!
"Kakaka! Today, I shall conquer the park!"
"The park...?"
"Indeed! S-City Eastern Park shall become this body's territory! Seizing a gathering place for citizens will demonstrate my dominion to all! First, I'll occupy the park and use it as the foundation for my empire!"
"First, the playground will become a training ground for raising evil organization members!"
I thrust my hands into the air, explaining my plan.
"The jungle gym will be remodeled into a deadly labyrinth, and the merry-go-round into a villain centrifuge to toughen future minions! Only children who endure those horrific trials will qualify as this body's elite soldiers! The weak will be culled, and only the strong shall survive!"
"A truly terrifying plan, Master. But how do you plan to convince the parents of the kids at the playground?"
"Hmph! Simple! I'll explain to the parents that this playground is the ultimate villain training facility. That their children can achieve greater success as villains than as ordinary office workers!"
I hurried back to my room and changed clothes. Something more practical today.
Jeans, a 'Villain Never Cry' T-shirt, and a small cross necklace.
Even villains need to show some casual charm sometimes. It'll make my cute—no, fearsome—appearance stand out more!
"Master, the sun is strong. How about a hat?"
"No need! I need photosynthesis to grow taller! This body will become a 5-meter-tall giant villain!"
"But Master, you're not a plant..."
Everlin saw me off at the front door, holding a lunchbox bag.
"I wish you success in your conquest. Here's your lunch and some snacks for the way."
"Perfect! When this body returns, I'll be the undisputed ruler of the park! From now on, it'll be called 'Grimoire Park'! All citizens will bow before my statue!"
I strode out confidently. No way I'd be treated like a hero today! Absolutely not!
S-City Eastern Park sparkled under the weekend morning sun.
Joggers along the paths, owners walking dogs, elders reading on benches... A perfectly peaceful everyday scene.
'Perfect. Is there a better stage for villainy?'
My chest swelled as I passed the entrance. This would be the starting point of the Grimoire Empire!
"Kakaka! From now on, this place is Grimoire Empire territory! Tremble, puny humans! Pay taxes every time you breathe the park's fresh air!"
A few joggers stopped and looked my way at my declaration.
Huh? Already having an effect?
"Oh my, that kid is adorable. Some kind of play?"
"Horns too... Cosplay? They're really into it. Looks so real!"
"Drama shoot? Or YouTube?"
They smiled and resumed jogging. No one took this body's declaration seriously!
Ugh... This reaction again! Not a hero this time, but a cute kid? Where has this body's dignity gone?
'These foolish humans don't yet know my terror! Just wait!'
I pulled out the park map from my bag. Everlin had marked the entire layout in detail.
I took out a red pen and circled strategic points one by one.
"Bench... Bench... Bench..."
I muttered while circling on the map. Benches are the park's most vital strategic assets! A park without rest spots isn't worth conquering!
"Operation commence! Seize all benches!"
First target: the bench by the fountain.
I dashed over and claimed it, sticking a small flag from my bag into one end.
"This bench is now Grimoire Empire territory! Dare not trespass!"
I scanned for the next. There! A bench under a large zelkova tree.
Shady and cool—definitely a popular spot. Strategically crucial!
But an old man was already sitting there.
Hmm, what to do? Beat him off? Or ignore and hit another bench?
After a moment's thought, a brilliant idea struck.
"Hey, you! This body specially appoints you as guardian of this bench! From now on, regard it as an honor to be a subject of the Grimoire Empire!"
The old man looked up with a smile.
"Aigoo, what a cute kid. Alright, Grandpa will guard it. Just this bench, right?"
"Not cute! This body is a great villain and conqueror!"
Daring to call this body a 'kid'! Must be senile, can't see properly!
Anyway, another bench secured! And I even got a guardian!
"Great! This bench conquered too!"
I pulled out another small flag and placed it beside the old man. He chuckled and picked it up.
"What's this, a regimental flag? I was in the army back in the day..."
"Greater than any regimental flag! It's the Grimoire Empire banner! Hold it, and after this body conquers the world, you'll get a tax break!"
And so, I went bench to bench, forcibly recruiting elders!
Of course, the conquests weren't always smooth. The elders were all chatterboxes.
Grandpa bragging about grandkids, grandma's old tales... All wasting this body's precious time with trivial stories. A villain's vital hours squandered on chit-chat!
...It wasn't so bad, though.
Of course, this is the benevolent ruler surveying future subjects!
"Next time, this grandma will bring homemade kimbap. You're too skinny—eat more."
"Wanna be friends with my granddaughter? Seems around your age."
"Aigoo, you could be my granddaughter. Come every week, okay?"
Cheeky old lady. Every week? Treating this body like a volunteer!
"Hmph... I'll make unannounced inspections to check your guardian duties! Stay vigilant!"
"Sure, sure."
"So cute."
"What a good kid."
"This body isn't cute! I'm an evil, terrifying villain!"
I protested, but the elders' smiles grew warmer.
They don't fear this body at all. Are they all senile? What if they fall for some multi-level NFT scam?
Guess this body will have to educate them regularly! Being an evil monarch comes with responsibilities!