That's Absolutely Not Happening
That was absolutely not it. Time had flown by since Friday's fainting spell—slash kidnapping—of Kenichi, and Monday had arrived. Kenichi, who was said to have fallen gravely ill, showed up at school perfectly recovered. If anything, he looked far healthier than before. His childhood friend Hotaru approached him happily, though with a hint of surprise.
"Kenichi! You okay? I was so worried all weekend since you didn't reply to any messages. But seeing you this healthy is such a relief—"
"Ken."
"...Kenichi?"
"Ah, sorry. My head's still a bit fuzzy—keeps spitting out weird stuff. Thanks, Hotaru. I made it back alive thanks to you."
Kenichi seemed tougher in every way, his face tinged with wistful reminiscence of the weekend. Just how sick had he been? Hotaru had completely forgotten her past anger, feeling only pity for his ordeal.
"...Kenichi."
Watching from behind, Ichimaru Shiki nodded in satisfaction. Good. He felt relieved deep down.
"Huhuhu, I thought he'd turned into a total idiot for good. Gave me quite the scare."
Thankfully, a breath of fresh air, some sleep, and a few meals had brought him back to partial sanity.
"Ken."
"...Kenichi?!"
He was still a bit off, but that could pass for charm. If not, well, no helping it. Shiki, who had resolved to sacrifice for the greater good, murmured sadly.
"Now, what training shall we try today?"
"...And you call yourself human?"
Sawamura Cento, who had spent the entire weekend at the Shihei estate hearing the updates, shook her head with a scowl. She thought herself rather heartless, but there was always someone crazier flying higher—or rocketing into space—right beside her. So I do have a shred of humanity after all. Gazing pityingly at Kitagawa Kenichi's spiky orange head in the front row, Cento gained enlightenment. Of course, she shot a full glare of disgust at the monster next to her.
"Haha, keep peeking like that and I'll blush. Don't tell me you've fallen for me—"
"One day, I'll kill you."
Into the remarkably peaceful classroom strode the golden-haired young lady. Eris Betelgeuse. The school's current heartthrob and the prefecture's top beauty. A secret to most, she was also a mage blessed by the stars, descendant of a grand archmage. Upon entering Class 1-A, she marched straight ahead.
"Oh, Lady Eris! Well met?"
"Lady Eris, care for some tea..."
Her loyal followers greeted her, but Eris didn't break stride, heading right for her target: Ichimaru Shiki's seat.
All eyes turned as the sudden encounter unfolded. Eris Betelgeuse looked down coldly at the smirking man.
"Ara, to what do I owe the pleasure?"
The narrow-eyed man shrugged nonchalantly. Eris's face hardened further, her glare sharp enough to pierce him on the spot. At last, she issued her decree.
"Ichimaru Shiki."
Eris Betelgeuse declared,
"Meet me alone behind the school at lunch."
Her moist lips uttered words that set hearts racing. Sawamura Cento, right beside her, went wide-eyed. Hotaru and Kenichi in the front row were stunned, as was everyone else in the class. Sawako, who had just entered watering flowers, dropped her vase in shock.
Crash!
Even amid the sharp sound piercing the air, silence held. Water from the shattered vase pooled with the heavy quiet. A storm was brewing.
"Haha, sounds good."
Under everyone's gaze, the smirking man replied, looking oddly pleased.
"See you soon. Just the two of us."
Ichimaru Shiki flashed an eye smile.
Lunchtime arrived in a flash.
Scraaaape!
Eris Betelgeuse and Ichimaru Shiki. The players headed to the battlefield, leaving the rest staring blankly at their backs.
Someone muttered,
"Should we follow and watch?"
"Don't. Look at Eris's fans over there, frozen with their lunches out. Interrupt and you'll get cursed for life."
Another shot it down, and the class shifted to stuffing homemade bentos to quell their curiosity.
Of course, the intrigue lingered. Hotaru, the Fire Shrine Maiden, was just as curious about the outcome behind the school. Joined by Sawamura Cento, who had started eating lunch with them today, Hotaru sat beaming.
"Finally, the class's top couple? Hmm, took longer than I thought. Shiki-kun and Eris might actually suit each other..."
"Poor guy."
"...Huh?"
Hotaru, thrilled by the rare romance talk, blinked in confusion at the blunt tackle from straight ahead. Cento stared pityingly toward the back of the school, utterly devoid of excitement, certain of the outcome.
"Why court disaster like that?"
"...Huh? Wait, no? I didn't realize Shiki-kun was such an iron wall."
"Hotaru, there's no way Shiki's getting a girlfriend."
"...Huh?"
This time from right beside her. Hotaru turned blankly to her longtime childhood friend, Kitagawa Kenichi, whose eyes brimmed with melancholy as he recalled something.
"A monster like that doesn't date."
His voice held zero romance, pure wistful fact.
"Exactly."
"...Yeah, it has to be that way."
Cento and Kenichi's gazes met, a mutual understanding passing between them. Their inner bond skyrocketed. Hotaru, briefly sidelined, stared back and forth before mumbling,
"...People can date, you know."
"No."
"That's absolutely not happening."
Instantly rebutted.
The same moment, behind the school.
In a secluded alley, the two stood face-to-face.
The narrow-eyed man grinned.
"This is thrilling! First time getting a confession like this in my life!"
"What nonsense is that?"
Eris Betelgeuse spat, her face more twisted than in class.
"Like I'd confess to trash like you."
"Oh ho, that's a bit hurtful."
Ichimaru Shiki shrugged. Even after the dignity-shattering remark to his face, his smirk didn't waver. He gazed down at the mage below his shoulder, still grinning.
"So, what's the occasion?"
"I saw it Friday."
The star mage replied stiffly.
"No matter how I thought about it, a healthy guy like Kitagawa Kenichi suddenly collapsing was fishy. After school, I checked the classroom, halls, whole school."
"Ahem, and?"
"Felt mana on the sports field. Faint traces of sorcery. I scanned the earth's afterimage with magic. Guess what I saw?"
Eris Betelgeuse glared at the freak before her.
"You, Ichimaru Shiki, beating up classmate Kitagawa Kenichi."
"Sounds like bullying if you put it that way. It was purely a sword duel."
"...Shameless doesn't cover it. A duel? Looked like a pro tormenting a newbie! You even tampered with his memories—he's clueless and hanging around you. And today, his body's all weird."
"Mm, trial and error, you could say. He did end up a tad off."
"...Trial and error?"
Ichimaru Shiki nodded calmly. Eris, having just heard a clear confession from the culprit, twisted her face further.
"My thousand-year mage lineage isn't spotless with purity and justice, but I won't tolerate blatant wrongdoing in front of me. Ichimaru Shiki, fix Kitagawa Kenichi now and apologize sincerely."
"Pardon? Apologize, fine—but revert him? After all our hard work? Kenichi would flip!"
"...Repent now, and it won't end worst-case. Keep strutting, though, and I won't hold back."
"Heh, 'won't hold back,' eh?"
The sly narrow-eyed man echoed with his perpetual smirk.
"And what then?"
Mage Eris Betelgeuse replied with a now expressionless face.
"We'll fight."
Soon, the storm erupted.