The Time for Farewell
We sat facing each other, each taking a sip of the refreshingly cool tea that seemed to clear our heads, yet all we could do was cautiously read one another’s expressions. It was only natural. After a reunion five years in the making, she had hurled a barrage of insults and even failed to recognize me. It was enough to make one’s insides burn.
Ganet’s earlier boldness had vanished completely. She kept her face buried in her teacup with no intention of setting it down. She knew exactly how embarrassing it had been to ask who I was. If I left her alone, she looked ready to drink the cup itself, so I placed my own teacup on the table.
“Have you been well?”
A perfectly ordinary greeting—one I should have offered long ago to the fiancée I was seeing again after so much time. The earlier situation had simply been too awkward. If anyone was to blame, it was me for stupidly fumbling my words when she first asked if I was there.
Clink.
At my question, Ganet set her cup down and stared straight at me.
“…Yeah.”
I’d expected as much. The occasional letters she had sent over the past five years showed she was the kind of person who always accomplished what she set out to do.
Coming here today had probably been inevitable. The words she had tried to say earlier—it had to be that the engagement ended here.
“…Teo, what about you? Have you been well?”
“As you can see, I’ve been well. I worked hard to change.”
“R-really… You’ve changed so much. I thought you were someone else.”
It was a natural reaction. Five years ago I had been slightly shorter than the Ganet sitting before me now. My growth hadn’t finished, and my lifestyle habits had been terrible.
“You haven’t changed at all.”
The first time I saw Ganet, I had been in my rebellious phase, but deep down I envied her. Unlike me—frail and gloomy—she was brighter and more confident than anyone.
“…I heard the rumors, more or less. They say you haven’t shown your face in high society once in five years.”
So the news of my seclusion had reached all the way to the western border. At this rate, the new nickname I’d earned might spread beyond high society and across the entire empire.
“Well, that’s true. I only showed up briefly at banquets and the like.”
Yet all that painstaking effort had gone up in smoke yesterday evening when I got tangled up with Adela. The more I thought about it, the more bitter I felt, so I turned my gaze toward the window.
“Actually, it’s for the best. Those friends you used to run around with, and those awful hobbies you enjoyed—you must feel ashamed of them by now.”
The “awful hobbies” she referred to weren’t social gatherings, but the debauchery I’d shared with those trash nobles. Those bastards were definitely the type I’d have to throw a glove at if our paths crossed again.
“Everyone spoke badly of you, and honestly I believed it too. But now that we’re facing each other like this, I understand.”
Ganet, sitting gracefully without a single hair out of place, continued.
“You look good now.”
She had a way of saying things that made the heart flutter. Wondering if she was finally seeing me in a favorable light, I gently took in the sight of her—only to realize from her flustered expression that she hadn’t meant it that way. How had she ended up like this? She definitely hadn’t been this kind of girl before.
After that, our conversation flowed surprisingly smoothly. Forgetting the prepared snacks and tea entirely, Ganet excitedly recounted countless stories from her time in the Winterrose Margraviate. I recalled the contents of the letters she had sent and chimed in at the right moments. The wall of time that had built up over five years seemed ready to crumble.
“…By the way, Teo.”
“Hmm?”
Ganet, who had been chattering happily about her territory, suddenly cut the flow. She looked at me with cold eyes, as though she genuinely couldn’t understand.
“You remember every single detail of the letters I sent—down to the trivial parts—so why didn’t you reply even once in five years?”
It had come.
A topic that might have passed if I had simply pretended not to remember the letters.
“The truth is… that’s because…”
If I had mentally prepared myself, I wouldn’t be this nervous. Suddenly baring my inner thoughts made me tense for no reason. I hoped she wouldn’t be hurt by what she heard.
“As you know, I distanced myself from everything for five years. So I couldn’t bring myself to reply right away. I thought I had to change first…”
Because I knew what the future me would do, I hadn’t wanted to become that pathetic figure. I could dodge with those words. But they would only be an excuse.
“Truthfully, I just didn’t know how to write one.”
Looking at you—who were so different from me—I was envious.
“What elegant phrases to use, what events to write about.”
In case my reply somehow made you feel bad.
Just. A tall, socially inept, immature noble boy. That was probably the most accurate description.
“If I had replied somehow right from the beginning, things wouldn’t have grown this big. It’s my fault.”
I continued speaking, trying to sound as indifferent as possible.
“The reason you came today was to talk about breaking the engagement, wasn’t it?”
I could imagine how many sleepless nights it must have taken for her to utter that heavy word. The fact that she had come all the way to the capital mansion alone meant she had desperately persuaded the Winterrose household.
Unlike me—who had nothing to lose even if my reputation hit rock bottom—she had a spotless image she had painstakingly built, yet she stepped forward to take the bullet anyway. Ganet was truly a brilliant, dazzling person.
Far too good for someone like me.
“…I’ll tell Father myself.”
Avoiding the gaze of Ganet, who continued staring at me in the same posture without another word or gesture, I added as casually as I could.
“Whether I throw a tantrum demanding we break the engagement or cause a huge scene, I’ll do it. So don’t tell anyone that you thought of it first.”
One person falling into the mud was enough.
The deal between our parents? What did I care? If it was truly that important, the adults could talk it over again after the breakup. I had already decided what to do if Father threatened that it couldn’t happen. Since the tower I had built with such care had already collapsed, there was no longer any reason to avoid it.
“…You.”
As if she could no longer simply listen, Ganet bit her small lips and snapped at me. Her voice dripped with utter contempt.
“I don’t know how lowly you think of me, but I don’t want that kind of consideration.”
“I’m not trying to look down on you—!”
“Enough. Pretend this conversation never happened.”
Declaring that further talk was pointless, Ganet shot to her feet. Even as she looked down at me with cool eyes, she didn’t erase the discomfort and displeasure from her face for even a second.
“That’s right. At first I came to break off our engagement. But who are you to take the disgrace in my place? Your reputation is already in shambles, so you don’t care—is that it?”
“There’s no need for you to suffer too!”
Just as ink wouldn’t show on a black uniform, only I—who was already drowning in bad rumors—needed to make the sacrifice. Whether it was Adela or Ganet, why did they keep trying to think of others? I couldn’t tell if they were fools or saints. Not understanding my intention and insisting on stepping into the filth herself, Ganet walked over without hesitation. Click. Her unyielding heels stopped right in front of me.
“Sorry, but! I don’t care about that, got it? Just how exactly do you see me? Stop advertising that you’ve never met people outside!”
A small, delicate hand—stronger than anyone’s—roughly seized my shirt collar. Ganet forcibly pulled my head forward so I couldn’t avoid her burning red eyes.
“I don’t know why you’re belittling yourself so much! And I don’t want to know! Stop caring about other people’s shitty opinions!”
Our faces were so close our lips might brush at any moment. At Ganet’s final words, which even resorted to vulgar language, I couldn’t offer any reply. I could only sink deep into those blazing ruby eyes.
“If you’ve gone astray, correct it with your own two hands.”
With my own hands.
“Don’t even think about avoiding or running away. Be confident, Teo Lopez. If you’ve decided to change, trust the effort you’ve put in.”
Ganet’s words struck deep in my chest. I stared at her blankly. Up close, her cheeks were flushed bright red. It must have been because she had mustered the courage to encourage me. Or perhaps because she remembered the word she had just used.
“…Thank you.”
In a world where people traded insults at the drop of a hat and busied themselves tearing others down with nonexistent stories, this was the first sincere advice I had ever received from someone who wasn’t family. To her encouragement, I gave a sincere reply.
Only then did Ganet’s hand slip from my collar. Now it was she who avoided my gaze. The face that had shown a slight blush was dyed even redder than her ruby hair.
“Whatever! Who do you think told you that to hear thanks? And anyway… I said it earlier too. That you look good now. Take confidence in the fact that this Ganet Winterrose has acknowledged it!”
Someone’s acknowledgment. It had a pleasant ring to it.
“You’re right. I’ve been acknowledged by you.”
I felt the corners of my mouth lift on their own. But when Ganet saw my smile, she startled violently and stumbled backward.
Is my smiling that strange?
After my body had grown, I hadn’t checked how I looked when I smiled in the mirror. Suddenly I worried I might still look as sly as I once had.
“You… it’s probably better not to smile like that outside…?”
Seeing her stutter from sheer panic honestly stung a little. How strange could a person’s smile possibly be?
“…Is it that strange?”
“I-it’s strange… yes! Of course it’s strange!”
I see. So I shouldn’t smile. But what if there were bastards who picked fights because I didn’t smile?
What to do? Settle it fairly with a duel. Justice always sides with the winner.
Having received acknowledgment and learned that smiling was bad, I couldn’t stay seated. I stood and strode over to Ganet.
The single step she had retreated was barely half of mine. In the narrowed space, a side of Ganet I had never seen before emerged.
She hurriedly covered her mouth with one hand and bent backward at the waist. The eyes looking up at me trembled, unable to find their focus.
Am I still smiling?
When I lightly touched the corner of my mouth, the curve was still there. Somehow. Anyway, the reason I had approached wasn’t anything else. Something had been slightly bothering me since we first met, and I had finally found the courage to fix it.
“Your ribbon is crooked. Still… it’s been a while, but you’re as pretty as ever.”
I gently moved my hand behind her head and straightened the tilted ribbon. Being a noble was a tiresome position where even such trivial details could become flaws. Ever so slightly, my hand brushed her hair. I felt Ganet’s breath catch with a tiny gasp.
…Do I smell because I didn’t wash after exercising earlier?
I had wanted to look good, but it seemed I had only lost points.
After that, Ganet said nothing more. When the time came for her to leave, she simply walked toward the carriage. Her steps were as stiff as a wooden puppet’s.
“Sniff sniff.”
It didn’t seem like I smelled that bad. Or did I?
After the afternoon when Ganet visited had passed and the sunset had fully given way to evening, a suffocating silence hung over our family seated around the dining table.
Father, who had returned from handling state affairs in the central region, Mother, exhausted from dealing with sycophants at the salon, and my younger sibling who had gone out with her.
Everyone except my older brother—who was absent due to his studies—sat with mouths firmly shut, only toying with their utensils.
It wasn’t usually this atmosphere, but today the air felt especially heavy. The one who broke the silence was, of course, the head of the family.
“…I heard the Winterrose young lady came by today.”
Father—Juan Lopez, Imperial Chancellor—spoke in a low voice. Even to that tone I replied casually, moving my fork.
“Yes.”
His manner suggested he already knew everything, so I kept my answer short.
“What was the matter?”
However, Father didn’t seem pleased with my indifferent attitude. The eyes digging for a reason were sharp.
“It wasn’t anything special.”
“It wasn’t anything special?”
It seemed the Winterrose Count household had already made the first move. The pressure that implied they had roughly guessed today’s events poured down. Mother, sitting beside me, only pouted while holding her fork in her mouth, but her gaze darted busily between Father and me.
…If I pointed out that behavior doesn’t match etiquette right now, I’d get scolded, wouldn’t I?
“Yes. It wasn’t anything.”
“That shameless person contacted me. Do you know what they said? That they could not sell their child for the family’s benefit!”
“That’s correct.”
Though it was a society where such things were taken for granted, it still wasn’t right.
Bang!
Unable to contain his anger at my indifferent reply, Father slammed the table, forgetting his dignity. His clenched fist trembled; he was clearly furious. At the loud noise, Mother let out a deep sigh and began forcing vegetables into my complaining younger sibling’s mouth.
“Obviously she came during the day and told you to break the engagement! What does she take the Lopez family for, daring to—!”
“She didn’t say that.”
To be precise, she had been about to but stopped. That detail wasn’t important.
“…What?”
“Oh my. Is that true?”
It wasn’t only Father who was stunned. Mother, who had been silently feeding vegetables, also widened her eyes like a startled rabbit.
How on earth should I explain this from the beginning?
“Teo dear. Won’t you tell Mom exactly what happened between the two of you today? Hmm?”
Mother, who had caught the scent of a topic far more stimulating than third-rate salon gossip, leaned in close. Her sparkling eyes still looked like a young girl’s.
“We just… had a deep conversation and cleared up some misunderstandings.”
“And then? And then?”
“There’s nothing much after that. We simply agreed to seriously discuss whether to proceed with the breakup after safely graduating from the academy. Until then, we’ll just be friends.”
It was what Ganet had whispered to me when I saw her off to the carriage later.
The moment “academy” left my mouth, Mother’s face turned brightly cheerful as if by magic, and she clasped both my hands tightly. She knew better than anyone how strongly I had once opposed enrolling there.
“You’re going to the academy? After all that stubborn insistence that you would never go! Oh my goodness! Honey, did you hear that?!”
“Ahem. Wife, the child is watching, so for the sake of dignity, please calm down first…”
“Calm down? What calming down! Wipe that smile off your own face before you speak! This is no time for that—go get the recommendation letter! Go get it right now!”
I had originally held no interest in learning like my older brother. I had even declared that upon becoming an adult I would leave the family and wander the continent. I had believed that only by avoiding the academy and high society—the stage of the original story—could I prevent myself from becoming that cowardly, pathetic future self.
But why should I?
Even if it turned out that way, if there was dissatisfaction, I should stand before it confidently.
If there was still dissatisfaction then, I would listen.
Just as Ganet had said, since I had decided to change, I would trust the me who had made the effort.
With my declaration that I would attend the academy, the dinner table that had felt like thin ice instantly transformed into a noisy party hall.
As expected, I preferred this kind of atmosphere.
Between my parents who had abandoned all dignity and were running wild, I saw my young sibling still seriously debating whether to spit out the carrot still in their mouth. Looking at that stupid yet adorable face, a chuckle escaped me before I could stop it.
Deep in the dark hours of late night, Ellie moved busily as always, a lamp embedded with a magic stone in one hand. In her other hand she carried simple snacks. With steps far lighter than one would expect at such a tiring hour, she stopped before Teo’s door and spoke gently.
“Young master. I’ve brought a snack.”
Since both hands were full, she announced her presence this way. Soon a low voice answered from inside—probably permission to enter. Ellie opened the door with practiced grace and stepped inside, leaving the lamp hanging outside. She spotted Teo sitting at the desk, relying on a light that seemed infinitely small compared to his large frame.
Normally at this hour he would be doing night exercises shirtless, but today was different.
It really is fortunate the young lady came today.
The process hadn’t been pleasant, but the result had brought a positive change. Unconsciously smiling, she approached the desk—and noticed the letter paper in Teo’s hand. It wasn’t one he had written, but one sent by someone else. They were the letters Ganet had sent him over the years.
He hadn’t read them much lately, so why was he reading them today? Just as that thought crossed her mind—
“Ellie.”
“Yes, young master.”
When he spoke in a serious tone quite unlike his usual frivolous self, Ellie set aside her playfulness and matched his level. This careful balance was what kept their relationship from falling apart.
Teo neatly folded the last letter he had been reading and slipped it back into its envelope. All the letters he had cherished for so long were now laid out across the desk.
Ellie instinctively understood. Knowing what he would ask of her, she naturally set down the snacks and waited politely.
Teo kept touching the envelopes, hesitating. Understanding the weight of that hesitation, she remained silent and did not rush him.
“…These letters.”
Finally, after long contemplation, a heavy resolve left his lips.
“Dispose of them all… without leaving a single one behind.”
It was an order she had somewhat expected. Yet the moment the words actually fell from her master’s mouth, Ellie felt a sharp sting in her nose.
Because she had watched closer than anyone how dearly he had treasured these old letters for the past five years.
Swallowing the tears that threatened to spill, she asked once more—carefully, to honor the difficult decision he had made.
“…You won’t regret it?”
Teo nodded silently. It was a firm resolve not to be bound by anything anymore. Whether it was the filthy future where he would act like trash or the sordid past where he had wandered pathetically, he intended to shake it all off without lingering attachment and walk a new path on his own.
“That’s how it has to be. Now, it must be that way.”
With those low but solid words, Teo Lopez bid complete farewell to his long past.