The Overwhelming Plot Armor
Radien Draken, overwhelmed by the crushing weight of plot armor, bolted away in a hurry. Estelia watched him flee and finally burst out laughing. Still chuckling, she led me over to a bench near the derrigon. The academy was so vast that there were plenty of empty spaces like this. It's a romance fantasy world… maybe they just needed room for all the love scenes? Thinking about it that way, the sheer size made perfect sense.
“Haa… Honestly, I don’t really hate Elesia. It’s just… I don’t get what’s so great about her.”
Estelia, who had been sitting quietly on the bench, finally spoke. Her fingers clutched tightly at the hem of her skirt.
“She’s pretty, I suppose… but is that really enough?”
“Exactly!”
Curious, I had taken a quick look during the speech. The red thread of fate between those two had been glaringly obvious. Destined meeting, huh. This world’s author had already decided their fates. If they wanted to fall in love because of some predetermined destiny, fine. But dragging Estelia into it was another story.
While I was lost in thought, Estelia suddenly stood up.
“Huu… Thinking about the broken engagement just makes me feel worse. What about Luca?”
“Luca’s probably happy in the dorms. She’s always shared a room with me back home. This is her first time having one to herself.”
“…What? Really? Even though you’re siblings, you shared a room…?”
“Yeah. We even bathed together.”
“…Excuse me? Hold on. Explain that properly.”
We chatted as we walked, and before I knew it we’d reached the crowded dorm entrance. The more people there were, the more Estelia’s bright, lively side vanished, replaced by her usual cold noblewoman demeanor. I smirked.
“…!”
She shot me a sharp look that clearly said don’t laugh. I’d already teased her enough today; pushing further would probably make her sulk for real. Once we reached the girls’ dorm, I dropped her off and headed to my own.
As expected of a fantasy cliché, rooms were assigned by rank. Mine was on the very top floor—the penthouse.
“Whoa… What is this? Nicer than the imperial palace?”
It really was better than the room I’d been given at the palace. At this point, it was basically emperor-level treatment.
“Ah, so the imperial family does come here too. Guess the top two spots were already taken this time.”
Made sense. This was an absurdly golden generation; there was no room for the imperial family to squeeze in. After all, there were already seven genius pretty boys lined up to support the romance fantasy heroine Elesia.
“Serdian Pon’s a magic genius from a marquis house… so he’s definitely a male lead. No doubt about it.”
I didn’t know every single male lead. At most, I could name Radien Draken, Bern, and Diervan Silber. Those three were supposed to get married eventually. But I’d already wrecked so much of the original plot without realizing it was a romance fantasy that I had zero intention of following the story anymore. The original events were just the author’s predetermined fates for the characters.
“Huaa… This is nice.”
Since I was an adult, I grabbed a beer from the fridge and took a swig. As expected of top-grade stuff, it went down way too smoothly. I could even order food. Ignoring the fantasy setting entirely, I ordered samgyeopsal and soju for round two.
The next day.
Knock knock.
“Lord Kahan. It’s time for class.”
“Kheherrrgh… Hng…?”
Wiping drool from my mouth, I opened the door to find a neatly dressed maid standing there. When I just stared at her, she introduced herself.
“My name is Hanna. I’ve been assigned as your personal maid. I came to greet you last night, but you told me not to come in, so I’m doing it now.”
“Oh, right. Where’s the uniform?”
“It’s inside the room.”
I went back in and checked the closet. Sure enough, there was a uniform: blue tie, white shirt, black pants. Textbook academy uniform. The material was ridiculously high quality, so at least it felt good to wear. They’d given me a large size because of my two-meter height, but my muscles still made it tight. While I was struggling to get it on—
Shwoop!
“Oh, there’s magic on it. I was about to use a talisman.”
Luckily, it was enchanted, so the uniform adjusted perfectly. Once dressed, I stepped out to find Hanna had already prepared breakfast: perfectly cooked bacon, fried eggs, and toast. I wolfed it down and told her,
“Mmm… Next time, make something more like actual rice. And a lot of it. With plenty of meat.”
“Understood. What would you like for dinner?”
“Meat.”
“Very well. Have a pleasant day.”
Leaving Hanna to clean up the mess from last night’s drinking, I rode the magic elevator down. Shwoop! As I headed toward the magic department building, I spotted a girl who stood out even from a distance.
“Hmm…”
Elesia Valter. The baron’s daughter who would become famous as a genius alchemist. And the protagonist of this world. Pink hair, blue eyes—the classic pink heroine. Even her plot armor was massive. First time I’d seen someone bigger than Estelia in that department. Thinking that, I walked into the magic building.
The support department building was right next door, so I figured I’d be running into her often. The moment I stepped into the classroom, everyone turned to stare.
“It’s Kahan.”
“…I asked a shaman about him. They said he’s a living legend. Told me not to mess with him no matter what.”
Obviously, the ones saying this weren’t first-years. They were second-, third-, and fourth-years. The academy was basically a four-year university, so everyone took the same classes for now. Majors started in second year, so there was no point worrying about it yet.
While I was debating whether to nap until the old hag showed up, the classroom door opened. Thud, thud. Pinya shuffled in, dragging her clothes. She was clearly trying not to be noticed, but it didn’t work on me.
“Alright, I’ll take attendance.”
“Pfft…”
Her dignified voice made me laugh. She definitely heard it, but she just kept calling names without comment.
“…Kahan.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Ahem… Answer properly.”
“Yessir.”
The other students gave me looks that screamed is this guy insane? I just grinned like it was funny, and they turned away with expressions that said they’d seen enough weirdos for one day. Typical please don’t get involved with me behavior.
Once attendance was done, Professor Pinya spoke.
“Since this is our first class, we’ll keep it simple. We’ll end after a quick manifestation exercise.”
Manifestation. Materializing mana, spirit power, divine power, and so on. For knights it was like coating a sword in aura; for mages it was just magic. For me it was talismans. Everyone here was an elite, so they looked confused at first—but that didn’t last.
“Maintain manifestation for five minutes. Anyone who can’t will receive extra assignments.”
The first-years’ eyes went wide.
“Haa… This is the worst. We have to do this again?”
“Damn it… I only managed four minutes fifty seconds yesterday. That should be fine, right?”
“Five minutes is insane…!”
Shooting magic was easy. But casting plus maintaining manifestation took about three minutes on average. Forcing it to last five minutes was hell for normal students—it demanded insane control and mana reserves.
Chirp chirp!
“What kind of sparrow—huh?!”
A student who heard the sound turned around and froze. Right above my head floated a massive sparrow. The classroom ceiling was high—almost five meters—and the bird started flying around it, sending the students into a panic.
“Hehehe…”
“…”
I grinned at Pinya, but she said nothing. After a moment of hesitation, she sent me a telepathic message.
[I lost… Please stop…]
“Okay.”
Another win. That made it 400-0. Only after I shrank the sparrow did Pinya let out a relieved sigh.
“Hup…!”
“Oh, not bad.”
Serdian was sweating bullets beside me while maintaining a fireball. Five minutes eventually passed, and most students failed. Still, the elites pulled through—the entire fourth year succeeded.
“Whoa… The whole fourth year passed? That’s crazy.”
“I heard over half the third-years made it too.”
Among first-years, only Serdian and I succeeded.
“Those who passed are free until the next class. Come back on time.”
With that, Pinya left, and her graduate student slaves took over. She handled the overall lessons while the detailed ones were taught by grad students. As a grand talisman mage, she knew magic, spirits, and divine power, but she wasn’t at expert level in any single field. That’s why specialized classes were left to her talented slaves—er, graduate students.
“Man, the weather’s nice today.”
The vanguard and assault departments were still in class, so I had the place to myself. I’d wandered around enough yesterday to get a feel for the academy layout. While I was walking and wondering what to do, I bumped into someone.
“Uwaaaah…!”
I’d been spacing out, but the fact that I got knocked over left me stunned for a second. The girl who’d bumped into me spoke up.
“I-I’m sorry… Did you hit your head…? Oh no, what do I do?!”
I looked down and saw pink hair. Realization hit me.
Romance fantasy development… huh.
Maybe because I’d been messing with their fates, the world was now treating me as a male lead too? Or how else could I possibly get knocked over by this girl?
While I was thinking that, Elesia spoke again.
“A-Are you really okay?! Uuuu…!”
Typical romance fantasy heroine—asking if I was fine while refusing to get off me. Pop!
“…Huh?”
She struggled, and thanks to her overwhelming plot armor, a button flew off. I froze.
“E… Eee…?”
She paused, finally processing the situation. Then—
“Hkkkyuu… Hiiing…”
If you’re gonna cry, at least show everything while you’re at it, you pink heroine.