I Have a Wife

I had a wife.

"Wh-what is this! Why is it coming out and saying it so bluntly!"

Serin forgot entirely that the imperial princesses were standing right there and shouted.

"Ah! I—I'm sorry. That was terribly rude of me."

She caught herself a beat too late and glanced around, sheepish. The princesses only smiled, as if to say it was fine. From today on, they were family, weren't they? A slip like that hardly counted as a breach of etiquette anymore.

Everyone gathered here was someone Han Suho had married today. And on that very ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠same day, Han Suho had vanished from this world.

He had left them with only a few words—that he might suddenly be pulled back to his original world, that he would handle it somehow, that they shouldn't worry—and then he was gone in an instant.

Not long after, a hologram of blue light opened before every one of them. A system window.

System windows, levels—things that belonged in movies and novels. None of them had ever seen one actually hanging in the air like this, but they guessed it had to be the "somehow" he had promised to handle.

"But if I'm level 7, do you think he's around, like, fifty thousand?"

Serin turned to the dragon beastkin beside her, the one she was closest to.

"If my own window had appeared, I might have been able to guess. As it is, there's no way to tell. What I don't understand is why only three names are listed."

"Ah, that's probably—"

"If I were on the list, I would know for certain. What do you suppose the criteria for selection are?"

"Y-Your Imperial Majesty."

Serin dropped to one knee in a rush and bowed. The emperor, who had been studying the system window from the throne, had come up beside them without her noticing.

"Speak freely, won't you? We're one family now, aren't we?"

"Th-then I shall speak. Ah—seeing that the three currently listed are all of low level, I believe there is a restriction in place for the time being. Perhaps only those of level 8 and below are eligible. That is my humble assessment."

"Hmm. That does make sense. Then, once that restriction lifts, might I appear on the list someday as well?"

Even as the system window continued to display The other party is currently choosing, another name was added to the list.

"I showed up, yo!"

"Hmm? Now that I think of it, Clara wouldn't even fall under a level restriction. Why is she only appearing now?"

"Waaaah!"

Clara bounced in place, hopping with both feet.

"Mother! I'm going to see him first, yo!"

With only those words left behind, Clara vanished in an instant.

From the moment her name appeared on the list to the moment she was gone, not even ten seconds had passed.

In truth, today was the first time Clara had ever met Han Suho. That was why the updated list had taken so long to register—and because the system list on Suho's side belonged to a world beyond this dimension, the delay there was even greater than it was here. Which was precisely why, in the very instant Suho had been about to choose Shed, Clara's entry refreshed, and she was the one selected.

All that remained where she had stood were her clothes and her sword. Serin, who knew none of this, felt her heart tangle. She turned it over and over, and still—once Clara's name appeared, it hadn't even taken ten seconds. That was just too cruel.

"Your wife! Clara makes her entrance, yo~!"

"...What?"

That was the first thing out of the summon's mouth the moment she was summoned. Your wife? What was she talking about?

"Wha—!? What is going on, yo!"

Of course she was startled. She had to be naked right now. I didn't do this on purpose....

Tap, tap.

Footsteps approached where I lay face-down. Small ones. I could tell the body they belonged to wasn't large.

Why was she coming closer all of a sudden?

A breeze touched the back of my head. She seemed to have crouched down.

"You're covered in dust, yo!"

Pat, pat, pat.

...?

She wasn't naked? She had to be, didn't she? And yet the summon paid that no mind at all, simply brushing off my collar.

Close enough that I could feel her body heat. The warmth hovering over my head was embarrassingly intimate.

Even so, I kept my eyes squeezed shut, and went so far as to mime covering them with my hand.

A beastkin? An elf?

"Are you hurt somewhere, yo? You've been lying there crying this whole time, so I got worried, yo!"

"No, my legs don't work, so I can't get up on my own. Now that I say it out loud, I suppose I do count as injured. And I'm not crying—I'm desperately trying to cover my eyes. I didn't do this on purpose. When you're summoned, the system won't let you bring anything with you, so your clothes are probably..."

The words sped up before I could stop them. I rambled through an explanation of my situation, making excuses to someone who was, in all likelihood, naked. She didn't seem to care, but I still felt I owed her the excuse.

"I thought I was about to get pounced on, yo!"

"N-no, absolutely not!"

"Your legs hurt? Then I'll carry you, yo!"

"I-I'm fine!"

Her words and her manner were nothing like any summon I had ever heard of, and it left me completely off-balance.

"So where is this place, yo?"

"Well... shall we return to my house together for now? We're inside the Tower at the moment. Would it be all right if I explained the details after we get back?"

"Okay, yo!"

The Tower apparently didn't exist for people from the other world, so an explanation was going to be necessary.

"We'll be returned straight to my room. Could you take my hand for now?"

Still face-down, eyes closed, I lifted only one hand, and a small, warm hand settled over it.

"Here we go, then? Don't be too startled. System window—return."

Ding!

Thump. Tap.

The give beneath me was soft. We seemed to have landed safely on the bed—the very spot I'd been ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠transferred from before entering the Tower. From the hand still holding mine, I could tell the summon had returned as well.

"Oh!? "

"Yes? Are you hurt?"

"A bed, yo! So tonight really was our wedding night, yo!"

"N-no, it isn't!"

The summon had been saying things I couldn't begin to understand since the moment she arrived. For my part, I wanted to pretend I hadn't heard any of it, open my eyes, and actually look at my summon.

Even if she saw me naked, I had the strange feeling she would just smile and let it pass....

No. Who was I to have the personality of someone I'd never even seen all figured out?

"Um, I was in such a rush I didn't have time to prepare anything. For now, would you put on something of mine from the hanger beside you?"

"What am I supposed to wear, yo?"

"Anything at all."

I was still lying face-down on the bed; only the location had changed. I could feel the summon's gaze on me from the side.

She was probably still naked, right there on my bed.

Shift.

The mattress bounced, and I felt her get up.

"I know what this is, yo!"

"Yes?"

She announced it like she'd just had a revelation.

"This is when you dress your girlfriend in your boyfriend's clothes, yo! But I'm your wife, yo! So this is dressing your wife in her husband's clothes, yo!"

"R-right..."

I didn't understand it, but she kept insisting she was my wife. How could someone whose name I was hearing for the first time be my wife?

...Could this have something to do with the dream I'd had while I was in the coma?

If I asked, I might find out. The truth I had already given up on.

Rustle.

The sound of clothes going on. What had she picked? I didn't have any women's underwear lying around. I'd have to ask the other person on my family register about that later.

"All dressed, yo! You can take it off now, yo!"

"...What?"

Why was she telling me to take off the clothes I'd just asked her to put on? Without meaning to, I'd been answering nothing but "what?" since a minute ago. I was turning into a what-parrot.

"...So it wasn't that kind of play, yo?"

"Nope. Really, arriving naked when you're summoned is just how the system works. There is absolutely no hidden intention behind it!"

"That's a shame, yo..."

"Th-then I'm opening my eyes now!"

Hearing how crestfallen she sounded, a reckless little thought flickered up—screw it, maybe I really should just go along with it—but I barely held it down and opened my eyes.

And the sight in front of me—

"Whoa..."

Red hair. Red eyes. Long ears.

An elf.

Not just an elf. An elf so cute, and so pretty, it was almost unfair.

"P-pretty. You're beautiful."

This was a first. When someone was truly too pretty, the shock stole the words right out of you. All I could manage, stammering, was that she was pretty.

Kyahaht!

She let out a laugh every bit as cute as she looked, then rushed in, caught my head in her arms, and hugged it tight against her chest.

"I'm so happy, yo! Say it again, yo!"

Mmf. Mmf.

I could feel her through the T-shirt. My face was buried, and all that came out of me was a muffled protest; she took the face she was hugging, let it go, and—still holding it like that—stared straight at me and said:

Whoa....

It was the first time in my life a woman had told me she loved me. My head went blank.

This elf, right in front of my nose.

Hair cut to her shoulders. Skin so clear and transparent there wasn't a ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠single blemish on it. Sparkling red eyes. Kneeling on the floor so her face would meet mine where I lay on the bed. A small frame, my T-shirt hanging all the way to her knees.

If anyone asked me who the cutest, prettiest person in the world was, I could have answered without a tenth of a second's hesitation: the person standing in front of me right now.

The truth I'd given up on, all the rest of it—why pick at a scab? She was utterly convinced she was my wife. Couldn't I just... leave it that way?

Click.

"Suho, what's going on?"

"Son~?"

From the master bedroom came the sound of my parents stepping out.

...Ah.

Right. I hadn't told them a single thing.