Witch and the Unicorn (1)
Witch and the Unicorn (1)
#
"Save me!"
"Hyaaang..!"
The idiot warrior Tina, the calm wizard Zinia, and the cute-faced priestess Emily. The idiots were running for their lives from the unicorn.
-Hihihihihing!!!!
And the unicorn chasing the three while snorting furiously. With bloodshot eyes and foam at its mouth, it was clearly enraged.
"...Reni. Put Protection on them."
"Ah, yes!"
-Kihing! Pu-hihing!
-Boom!
The unicorn rammed its horn and body against the barrier Reni had cast several times. As if it was absolutely dead set on trampling those three... What on earth had they done to cause such a scene?
-Hihihihing! Pu-hihihihing!
"Eek!"
No matter how wildly the unicorn thrashed, it couldn't break through Reni's high-powered barrier. After causing a commotion for a while, the unicorn finally turned and disappeared somewhere.
The idiot trio collapsed on the spot, only letting out a sigh of relief once the unicorn was completely out of sight.
"..."
Come to think of it, hadn't I heard these guys had joined a clan? The Lamia Clan—wasn't it supposed to be some big-deal clan? The mistress of the inn at Emils had said so, and when I saw them fighting on the main road they'd seemed to live up to their name. But looking at these idiots, there was no way I could call them an elite clan.
Anyway, weren't they supposed to be in Emils? When had they gotten here?
"Yoo-jin. Those people look a little hurt. I should heal..."
"Ah, right."
Reni always took good care of things like that. Except when she was jealous, throwing tantrums, or lying through her teeth during sex, Reni fundamentally had a kind personality.
"Are you alrigh..."
Reni started to say, but the three were already catching their breath and glaring at each other. No, to be precise, the wizard and the priest were glaring at the warrior, and the warrior had a face that looked wronged. It felt like sparks were flying from their eyes. Wh-what was with this atmosphere?
"Seeing a man... Who was it...?"
Zinia's eerie voice.
"Tina? Was it you again?"
"I-it wasn't me! I was sticking right with you guys the whole time!"
"The instructor said we weren't supposed to see any men until this mission was over! What are we going to do now? This is our second failed quest after last time!"
"Oh, come on! I said it wasn't me!"
....
Tina bickered with Zinia. Emily looked at us and bowed her head. Right. Thanking us for saving them should have come first. Other than Emily, the other two had rotten personalities.
But I had no idea how to resolve this mess.
"..."
...Why was I even trying to resolve this? I should just run away.
"Uh, um, good to see you. We meet again. It looks like you aren't badly hurt. Well, take care then, we'll be going. Nice to meet you. Goodbye..."
"C-couldn't you please help us..."
Before I could even say anything, Emily had already grabbed my pant leg and was clinging to it.
...
"So, what brings you here? Weren't you three saying you'd rest in Emils? A vacation... was it?"
"Yes. We were going to. Until this idiot dragged us out saying she didn't want to get nagged by her mother."
Zinia pressed her hand to her forehead and let out a sigh. Well, that mistress did talk an awful lot. Anyway, this one hadn't said much when I saw her last time. She seemed to have her own fair share of troubles.
"So the moment we got here she was raring to build up achievements and went straight into the dungeon."
Zinia glared at Tina as she said that, and Tina whistled awkwardly. Zinia sighed, then looked at me and said pitifully:
"We'll give you all of our reward. Actually, achievements are more important to us..."
"...Then let's hear your story first."
...
The quest Zinia explained was nothing special. It was a regular delivery of supplies to a resident of the dungeon their clan had a contract with.
"It's a quest in name, but in practice it's basically porter work."
There was a narrow stabilized zone not far from the beginner area, and some woman supposedly lived there. And on the path there was a unicorn habitat.
"We're Bronze Tier, you see... so simple jobs like this are all we ever get. As long as the conditions are met, it's a really easy job."
"What are these conditions?"
"......A-as long as you don't get attacked by the unicorns..."
"Huh?"
"..."
Zinia stopped talking there and blushed. Don't get attacked by unicorns... If these are the unicorns I knew... Is it that? Still, at times like this I should ask the real expert who always acts like a know-it-all.
"Yuri..."
Yuri's face was bright red. This one, she definitely knew something.
"Hey, Yuri."
"H-huh?"
"They said unicorns, unicorns. Don't you know anything?"
"...I don’t. I have no idea. It’s not like I know everything, okay?"
"Quit bullshitting. Don't you have a habit of staring at the ground when you lie?"
"What?! Really?!"
Nope. That was a lie. As I grinned, Yuri made a truly bizarre expression, as if she was both embarrassed and bursting with frustration, and opened her mouth.
"...U-unicorns are d-divine beasts that... follow pure women... they say... They don't attack if there's a virgin..."
"Oh yeah? Then you're disqualified right off the bat... Ack!"
Yuri huffed and retracted her foot.
"Hoo... B-but it doesn't have to be a real, real virgin. About a, a week..."
"A week of what?"
"...I-if you just don't see a man for about a week... it's fi-fine, they say..."
Seeing this kid embarrassed like this was refreshing. I kept grinning as I provoked Yuri.
"What do you mean by 'seeing a man'? Is it just not okay if you make contact? Or does it mean a sticky, steamy night together... Urk!"
Reni was pinching my elbow with a sulky look. Why was I always asking for a beating? Could I have masochistic tendencies?
Anyway, so that was it. Just don't have sex with a guy for a week and it was okay; the unicorns here weren't that picky.
If they were real unicorns they'd have thrown a fit even if you failed just one aspect of Mind, Body, and Technique. They said carnivorous rabbits appeared here, so I supposed the unicorns were knockoffs too.
For the record, I followed the "Raoh Doctrine": as long as she ended up by my side in the end, that was all that mattered.
"This is weird. I’m telling you, I really haven’t been with a man, okay?"
"Tina. Please, shut your..."
"I'm telling you it's not true!"
Suddenly, the squabbling erupted again. That idiot really couldn't control her mouth. As I looked at her a little pityingly, Tina suddenly glared.
"Hey. I don't remember last time very well, but by any chance, did you do something inside that cave? There's no way a unicorn would cause such a racket for no..."
"Tina!"
-Tap tap.
"Huh? Wha, what...?"
Reni suddenly rushed out and did something to Tina,
"Ah..."
and Tina went completely limp.
"...I used Relax. She seemed a little mentally confused from having run all the way here."
Reni's eyes looking down at Tina were a little cold. Reni... that was Relax in name only, it was actually Sleep magic, wasn't it? Had she picked up a habit of immediately putting people to sleep whenever something rubbed her the wrong way?
Anyway, that idiot. She paid the price for spouting such ridiculous nonsense. Reni... she probably did that for my sake... but it was a bit creepy...
And Yuri stared at Reni expressionlessly. Then she grinned as if she'd figured something out.
"As expected... so that's how it was..."
"..."
It seemed Reni's hand had been completely exposed. Honestly, if you use the same pattern that often, of course you get caught, right? Poor Reni...
"...So, c-can you help us?"
Can we help them? Well. Our party didn't have any virgins, so wouldn't that be kind of difficult? Emily, who had been studying my expression, spoke up.
"I-it'll be fine. Because Reni is here... Reni?"
"..."
"R-Reni? No way?!"
"Ah... aw..."
"........We-well, it'll still be fine! Since Reni's Protection is strong enough to drive the unicorns away..."
Zinia, who had seen Reni's face looking like it was about to burst, hurriedly changed the subject. Yeah. Good job. You've got some sense. And Reni, who had just had the fact that she wasn't a virgin exposed to everyone, had a face that was utterly miserable.
#
"Ahem. Hm."
So, the idiot who was slightly out of her mind bugged me a bit, but these guys had more experience than me. It wouldn't be bad to go take a look, and I could have them guide me as well. There were also a few things I was curious about.
"So where should we go?"
At those words, the two breathed a sigh of relief. Anyway, a resident inside the dungeon? When I asked about that, Zinia explained.
"There are small villages inside the dungeon too. Coming all the way out and going back in is a bit inconvenient for adventurers, after all."
In exchange, prices were a bit steep, she said. But oddballs like wizards bought or rented stabilized zones for research and even built houses to live in.
"Uh, isn't that a bit dangerous? A dungeon is still a dungeon."
"So, well... those people surely know what they're doing. We just have to do our own job."
Zinia suddenly shivered as she spoke.
"So, the place we're going now is where the Witch lives... but her personality is a bit..."
At those words, I glanced at Tina. The Witch's personality was so bad that Zinia hesitated to describe it even with this moron running around their party? That worried me a little. And a Witch now? It felt like I'd just heard a deeply ominous word.
"What're you looking at?" "Tina." "Me?"
Tina shot me a look as if she wasn't about to be outdone. She was clearly not happy about me waking her up with an electric shock. Well, whose fault was it for throwing around false accusations?
...
"Ah, there it is."
Soon, the luggage pile the party had abandoned came into view. Fortunately, there was no sign of any serious damage.
"Phew... I'm glad the unicorn isn't around."
-Puhihing!
"Uhya?!"
The moment Tina raised that death flag, a unicorn appeared. It stood at a distance, just staring at us blankly. Given that it didn't charge the moment it saw us, it was a different one from before.
"Reni. Protection first."
"Okay."
The unicorn slowly circled around us, then looked over the trio one by one as if judging them, and snorted roughly as if displeased.
Then it came to Yuri and...
-Pu-hihihihihihihing!!!!
"Wh-what the?! What's wrong with it? H-hey Reni, is this thing actually working properly?!"
It scraped at the barrier with its horn and front hooves, as if it liked her even less.
The unicorn kept striking the barrier in front of Yuri, then looked at Reni.
The unicorn paused for a moment. It stared fixedly at Reni, then snorted and blew out air. The unicorn shook its head side to side as if in disbelief, looked at Reni once more, and then...
-Kihihihihihihing! Kiiiieeeeek! Hehihihihihihing!!!!!
Wild fury! Though a horse, its extreme emotions were conveyed viscerally! It slammed its horn against the barrier, clang clang, as if it had seen something utterly impermissible in this world.
"Eeek!"
"Reni, come this way."
I hid Reni behind me and drew the Holy Sword. Today, I'd be feasting on horse meat...
"Ah, you can't!"
"Huh?"
"You can't kill the unicorns! We have a contract with the Witch saying we can't touch them...!"
Emily stopped me in a hurry. But they hadn't mentioned that. If this kept up, that horse bastard would keep its aggro...
-Puh-reurung
The unicorn stared fixedly at the Holy Sword. Then it shook its head side to side a few times, snorted, turned its hooves, and went away.
...Right. That Holy Sword girl was an idiot who didn't even know about sex. The Holy Sword was the perfect virgin in terms of Mind, Body, and Technique, so the unicorn had been satisfied and gone back...