Priestess, Dungeon, and Ticket (2)
Priest, Dungeon, and Ticket (2)
#
When the rock crumbled away, what lay inside was...
Corpse-gray skin gleamed beneath the light. It was completely naked, without a thread on its body, and bald besides. The figure was profoundly alien. Its shape was unmistakably human, yet nothing about its presence felt human.
I'd worried about this even before coming here. I would inevitably have to fight another person someday. When that moment came, would I truly be able to drive my blade into them?
I understood it intellectually. It would be a kill-or-be-killed fight, so I'd have to strike. But could I really do it without hesitation?
Yet the moment that thing appeared before me, I knew. I would feel nothing when I killed it, because it wasn't human. It was something else.
The creature lay in the center of a magic circle. Black demonic energy writhed like tentacles, connecting its body to the circle. I didn't know magic, but I could tell instinctively that it was a sinister force.
At the sight, Reni and I froze for an instant.
"...!" "Eek!"
The thing opened its eyes. Reni's breath caught in her throat.
It slowly rose and stared at us. Its eyes were utterly lifeless. Looking into them, I knew—
That thing would also feel nothing about killing us.
It opened its mouth.
"□□□□ □□ □□ □□□ □□ □□□"
A crackling noise, like static from a radio. I couldn't understand a word.
But none of that mattered. My attention—my gaze—was fixed somewhere else, leaving me unable to think about anything at all.
The place holding my gaze... there, between its legs...
There was a skull impaled between its legs.
'That bastard was fucking a skull!!!!!!!!!'
A depraved bone-fucker!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The repulsive sight, an affront to every value I held, broke the paralysis gripping my body.
"Reni!!!"
"Hah!"
Reni snapped out of it too. I tightened my grip on the sword and charged. Black spheres rose around the expressionless creature and shot straight at me. A tingling sensation prickled across my skin.
There were three. Was it underestimating me, or was it short on mana? It didn’t matter. The more careless it was, the better.
I neutralized its magic with Holy Bombs and 「Basic Throwing」!
-Boom! Boom! Boom!
I got so close I could see its pupils, and swung my sword straight down—
-Clang!
It blocked me with one hand!
Black demonic energy was coiled around its arm.
'Vibrating Holy Sword!'
-Vmmm
The Holy Sword vibrated violently, wrapping its blade in an air cutter.
Its bizarre pupils dilated in an instant. It had been feigning a blank expression, but it had to be surprised.
It wrapped its other arm in demonic energy and blocked the holy sword. Sparks flew between the holy sword and the creature's two black arms.
But it wasn’t enough! If we remained locked together like this, it would overpower me!
"Yoo-jin!"
"Do it!"
-Crash!
A Holy Bomb detonated against the creature's head. Reni had circled to its blind spot and thrown it.
-Ssssssss
It wasn’t yet fully undead, so the Holy Bomb didn’t explode. Drawing its attention was enough.
Reflexively, its head whipped toward Reni—
Holy Light burst directly before its eyes at the greatest output Reni could manage. However weak her Divine Power was, a surprise attack like that would still blind it for a moment.
I felt it panic. I slipped sideways and released the pressure on my sword. With the opposing force suddenly gone, it stumbled forward.
And there before me...
A hideously split ass!
I activated 「Touch of Pleasure」 on my foot at maximum output, used 「Basic Kicking」, and punted the thing right in the ass!
-Guooooh?!!!!
Its blank expression finally broke, revealing panic. Surprised, were you? It raised both hands as though preparing to fight us again, but I could clearly see its legs trembling.
Now the momentum had swung completely to our side.
"Again!"
I moved again without answering. Another Holy Bomb and Holy Light struck its head.
While it was blinded, I delivered another soccer kick!
-Kkuooooooong!!!!!!
Its knees had turned inward. It itched down there, did it? One more!
-Thwack! Thwack! Thwack!
-Kkuok! Kkiyok! Kkuheuooooook!!!!!
After repeated 「Kicks of Pleasure」, it lowered both hands and clutched the skull between its legs.
And I kept kicking it as it tried to move its hips.
-Kkuek! Kkuek! Kkwek! Kkuooooong!!!!!
A hideous shriek! The moans of a depraved bone-fucker! It was disgusting!!!!!
The thing collapsed forward. Its disgustingly split ass... I...
"Die! Die! Die! Die!"
-Thwack! Thwack! Thwack! Thwack!
-Keooooooot?!!!!!
At last, it stopped trying to rise. It lay facedown on the ground, convulsing like a flopping fish.
From the skull jammed onto that thing’s cock, a revolting liquid sloshed and trickled through the eye sockets, drip-drip-dripping...
Tears made of semen... that skull was shedding semen tears...
"..." "..."
At the shocking sight before us, Reni and I were left speechless.
-Kkuoooooooooooo!!!!!
The thing had now forgotten everything and was bucking its hips.
Was that what happened when someone got hit by a Sex Warrior skill at maximum output?
Sex Warrior... terrifying... Goddess... what the hell have you done to me...
Reni was staring at that horrifying scene with her mouth hanging open.
Y-you didn’t know what it was doing, right? Right, Reni? You were an innocent priest, weren’t you?
"Ah...?"
“Don’t look. You shouldn’t see that kind of thing. Dirty, dirty.”
"Ah..."
I took Reni's hands and covered both her eyes.
What a genuinely nauseating sight.
I aimed the Holy Sword at it and activated Holy Fire (聖火).
[Holy Sword 「Esplender」]
[Mode: Two-Handed Sword]
[Traits: ▼]
[Holy Fire (聖火): Conjures holy flames. Uses stored Divine Power.]
[Divine Power: 250 / 300]
The holy sword had stored Divine Power equal to the amount of semen I had spilled when breaking its seal. Like a battery, basically. Once the Divine Power ran out, it would probably revert to the old, worn sword it had been when sealed.
It never stopped thrusting its hips, even while burning. It was almost impressive that it kept at it in that state. Could this count as dying during sex?
The sight gave even the onlooker instant post-nut clarity, in more ways than one...
"Yoo-jin? Is it over?"
"No... wait just a little longer..."
Inside the blaze, a vile body bucked up and down.
It was fire sex—no, fire masturbation...
I thought I caught a glimpse of a smile on its gaunt face.
It really lived like a flame to the very end...
#
"The magic stone... there it is..."
"..."
For once, Reni remained silent. Understandably so: the large magic stone was the very skull it had been fucking.
Calling it a large magic stone didn't mean it was literally enormous. Such stones ranged from the size of a fist to that of a human head, and their color was different. Something about their mana capacity and composition being different, apparently.
Anyway, the thing had taken that large magic stone, processed it into a skull shape, and then stuck its dick into...
It was filthy, so I'd skip it. At first I'd thought it was just a skull, but that was because it was caked in dirt and dust, which made it look gray.
Once the Holy Fire had cleanly burned off all the contaminants, its true appearance was revealed.
But... seriously... I had to touch that thing with my own hands...?
"..."
"..."
I turned to Reni, and Reni averted her eyes.
"Reni... keep Purification up on it... don't stop..."
"Ah... um..."
"What?"
"Earlier, when I used Holy Light at full power... my Divine Power..."
"..."
"I-I'm sorryyyyy..."
"..."
...Reluctantly, I reached my hand out toward the magic stone.
「Clean」, 「Clean」, 「Clean」, 「Clean」, 「Clean」, 「Clean」...
#
After a short rest.
"First, let's do something about this magic circle."
"Ah! Yes!"
People tended to think of a magic circle as a drawing filled with bizarre symbols.
That was only half correct. The symbols were indeed bizarre, but they had been engraved into the stone rather than drawn. An engraving in stone, perhaps? It needed to last for years, so the durable construction made sense. It was also a Magic Circle linking five dungeons, which explained its sheer size and solidity.
Destroying it was hard labor. I hammered it with the warhammer from the general store, struck it with the pickaxe, and shattered the magic stones embedded throughout it...
"Huff, huff."
"I-It looks like it's over..."
"Yeah..."
The ominous light faintly emanating from the magic circle faded away. Then a system message suddenly appeared before my eyes.
-Ding!
[A change has occurred in the observation.]
[The probability of ## has decreased to ##.]
What was that supposed to mean? The next message was enough to make me forget about it.
[Reward: 1 Golden Ticket]
Did a Golden Ticket drop?!
-Ding!
[Achievement: First to cause a change in the observation.]
[Reward: 1 Golden Ticket]
Two tickets! The Goddess sure was generous! A thousand years, ten thousand years, forever!
#
The Golden Ticket.
It was a gacha ticket obtained by fulfilling a specific condition. Each condition could only be fulfilled once, and no one knew where such conditions would appear.
You could get them from massive-scale quests, like preventing the destruction of the world, but sometimes you could get one just by healing the scraped knee of a kid who had tripped and fallen.
The conditions were so random that deliberately farming the tickets was impossible. Still, they had one thing in common: broadly speaking, they rewarded good deeds.
It seemed clearing this dungeon had been quite a major event.
Anyway, the tickets let me roll for traits, like 「Sex Warrior (SS)」 and 「Creepy Dog Persona (B)」, which I already possessed.
Of course, Creepy Dog Persona proved that there was no guarantee of a good result. Traits like that were merely latent aspects of a person’s personality developing until they surfaced.
From what was described in the novel, most things from the gacha were good.
For example, 「Goddess's Blessing (SS)」, which raised all stats and even granted bonus experience points. Or 「Shield of Distortion (A)」, which let you turn space itself into a defensive barrier.
My mouth was watering.
"Yoo-jin?"
Slurp.
"Ah, just resting for a bit. I have some things to think about."
"Ah, okay."
Alright. Doing it right now!
-Ding-dong-ding-dong-shwoowoo-shwoowoo-boom-boom-bashoom
-Bba-bam!
A brilliantly shining rainbow card! Did I pull a Platinum?!
I immediately opened the card.
「Sex Warrior's Performance (SS)」
...Not the Sex Warrior’s Authority, but its Performance? Because it was a Sex Warrior? Another lame old-man pun. Performance... let me see...
[Description: ▼]
[A Sex Warrior is immune to all types of sex-related status effects.]
[A Sex Warrior can dispel all types of sex-related status effects.]
….
Hmm...
Hrm....
Hmm....
Is this... good...?
What even was a status effect in the first place?
[Tip]
[Status Effect: Blessings, protections, oaths, amplifications, curses, diseases, poisons, contracts, and all other types of buffs, debuffs, and bindings.]
Ah, so a status effect wasn't necessarily something bad.
So this 「Sex Warrior's Performance」 meant I could dispel anything, whether it was a good effect or a bad one.
Didn't seem too bad.
Being immune to curses was useful, for one. If I was afflicted with erectile dysfunction or swallowed a poison that impaired sexual function, I'd be as good as dead. If I couldn't get my cock hard, I couldn't perform Heat Release. Literally, if my dick died, so did I. With this trait, at least I'd avoid such a horrific death.
It looked pretty decent.
...
...No. Now that I thought about it, the applications for this were endless.
Right, this was good!
For example, I could dispel the buffs I'd cast on Reni, and then...
'Oh no, Reni! The buff wore off! What happened? Shouldn't we go back to the inn and apply it again right now?'
It meant I could pull devious, crimes-against-humanity shit like that?!
"Heheh..."
Heheheh...
Crap. That trashy laugh had slipped out again. She hadn’t seen it, had she?
I composed my expression and turned to Reni. She was deep in thought, muttering something to herself.
"...How... to extract... as expected..."
What was she trying to extract... geez...
Now for the second ticket.
This time...
-Bashoom-boom
-Ding!
Bronze, huh...
Tch. I'd have been satisfied with just Gold or Silver. Still, let me take a look.
-Ding!
「A Sex Warrior Respects All Tastes (E)」
...Huh?
[Description: A Sex Warrior will come to respect a wide variety of tastes.]
...What the hell was that supposed to mean?