Holy Sword's Problem
Holy Sword's Problem
#
[Rejection Reason: You fucking...]
What?!
Startled, I checked the log again.
[Rejection Reason: The necessity of the skill is not clearly demonstrated.]
But the Goddess's raw profanity was gone without a trace. What the hell? Had I misread it?
No way, there was no way I could have misread something like that. She must have deleted it in the blink of an eye.
Still, the Goddess had never cursed this blatantly before. No matter how absurd my skill proposals got, she had always maintained a certain decorum in her own way.
For example, like this.
[The 「Anti Heat」 skill has been rejected.]
[Rejection Reason: Do not try to escape through such a cheap trick.]
[The skill 「Mobile Semen」 has been rejected.]
[Rejection Reason: Stop spouting this absurd nonsense.]
...That still counted as decorum, right?
Anyway, she had hurled a full-blown curse at me. Was something stressing her out?
But that was one thing, and giving up on the Elf Water Purifier just like this was way too disappointing. If I supplemented the logic and tried one more time...
"..."
I shook my head.
Now was the time for restraint. The Goddess had suddenly flown off the handle and even cursed at me. Trying again right now felt far too risky. She might not stop at a static-electricity zap to the finger this time. This was exactly the Virgin Goddess's old-maid hysteri—
—Bzzt.
"Gyaaah!"
...
I'd done plenty of screwing around in between, but regardless, I needed to have a proper talk with this Holy Sword now.
I shook out my numb fingers, lay down beside the Holy Sword, and activated 「Dream Sharing」.
# # #
It was the pure-white space I'd already visited several times... or at least, it should have been.
Something was different. Parts of the space looked like broken pixels.
What on earth was happening? And the Holy Sword? Was she okay?!
"..."
The Holy Sword was sprawled out at ease. Carefree as ever, that one.
Several red windows floated around the Holy Sword as she lay there grinning. Some looked as though they were filled with static, while others resembled warning prompts.
When I stepped closer and examined the windows, the anomalies stood out clearly.
[Holy Fire (聖火)]
[Generates holy flames. Consumes reserved Divine Power.]
[Holy Strike (聖擊) (Inactive)]
[Generates a holy electric shock. Consumes stored Divine Power.]
[Holy Barrier (聖幕) (Inactive)]
[Generates a holy-element defensive barrier. Consumes reserved Divine Power.]
[Holy Spear (Inactive)]
[Holy Steel (Inactive)]
...
Judging by the presence of Holy Fire, it did seem to be some kind of Skill Window. However, the text strings were corrupted here and there. One glance was enough to tell that it was not functioning normally.
[User Interface — Activation Stage 80%]
[Avatar Descent — Activation Stage 60%]
Another window floated off to one side. Avatar Descent looked like some means of summoning the Goddess, but I had no idea what this User Interface was.
But a far more important message than any of those was displayed there.
[Shape transformation via unauthorized means detected. Please use an authorized method.]
[The use of unauthorized means may cause errors in the following functions.]
[Functions: Senses, Form, Cognitive Ability, Skills... (More)]
The unauthorized method had caused a problem with her transformation?
The unauthorized method presumably meant using that mirror to Polymorph, but what did it mean by a function error?
Yeah. I had a hunch. This one kept passing out and causing a ruckus every time she ate something. I'd thought it was simply because her senses were overly sensitive, but that wasn't it at all.
"Huh? What? When did you get here?"
I heard a slightly drawling voice. When I looked beside me, the Holy Sword was rubbing her sleepy eyes as she stared at me. She yawned languidly and gazed at me in a daze, but when she noticed the window floating in front of me, her eyes went wide.
"Ah! You!"
"Huh?"
Before the Holy Sword could say anything more, she lunged at me—no, at the window floating in front of me—and swiped it shut.
"...What are you doing?"
"What do you mean, me? You should warn me before coming. Barging in without manners while a lady was asleep... Did you see it?"
"Yeah. I saw."
When I glared at her, the Holy Sword meekly tucked her tail between her legs.
"What was that? Something seemed to have gone wrong."
"...Dunno."
"Don't give me that crap. If even you don't know, who would?"
"Tch."
The Holy Sword plopped down and stuck out her lower lip.
"I really don't know. It showed up after I changed into human form, and I have no clue what's what either."
I was speechless.
"Wait, hey. It showed up after you became human? Why didn't you say anything until now?"
"..."
"It looks incredibly serious at a glance. How could you hide something like this? You have no idea what kind of problem it might cause, so how could you not tell me?"
"...But if I told you about this, you might make me undo the transformation..."
When I raised my voice a little, the Holy Sword wilted and began cautiously watching my expression. Ugh. What a headache. This girl had acted as though the world belonged to her, but when she suddenly behaved like an abandoned kitten, it left me feeling conflicted.
I changed the subject for now.
"Tch. Fine. I won't scold you, so turn the screen back on first. There are a few things I need to ask. No, I really won't scold you. Seriously."
Only after I gave her firm confirmation again and again did the Holy Sword reactivate the windows.
[Avatar Descent — Activation Stage 60%]
"Right. Don't need anything else. This one."
It was painfully obvious that this was a skill for manifesting the Goddess. Yet despite being inactive, its percentage had risen.
"Any idea when we might be able to use this?"
"...I don't really know."
What do you even know? The words rose all the way to my throat, but I swallowed them. I managed to hold them back.
The Holy Sword looked utterly wronged under my scowl.
"What am I supposed to do when I don't know...? I know there is something strange about me too... but I truly cannot remember... It is like there's a hole in my memory... I was alone for so long, so why are you scolding me..."
"...Ah, no. Okay, fine. If you don't know, you don't know. It's fine. It's fine, so. I get it, so stop crying."
I broke out in a cold sweat as I tried to soothe the Holy Sword. Gah, sh-she was sniffling, and even her nose was running!
...
"Haa..."
I never imagined I'd end up blowing someone else's nose. More importantly, what was I going to do? I'd have to carry the Holy Sword again when entering dungeons, but this girl looked as though she would rather die than return to her original form.
How should I convince her...
"Hmm. Hey, Holy Sword."
"What."
"Aren't you getting tired of hanging around in here? Ever thought about going outside the mansion?"
"...No? I'm not tired of it? It's super fun? I don't have to go outside? I'm gonna live here forever?"
The Holy Sword rapidly poured out words while refusing to look at me, but they were utterly incoherent. She really had no talent for hiding what she felt.
"You can see the messages floating in front of you, right? On top of that, you keep passing out, so your actual awake time is barely anything. You know this state you're in right now isn't normal, yeah?"
"..."
"You must know you can't keep this up forever, too. I want to let you stay like this if possible, but I still can't do this without you."
Mm. “I can’t do this without you,” huh? That was a little embarrassing to say. I’d meant to say that I needed my weapon, so why had it come out like that?
It was true that I'd be in trouble in many ways without the Holy Sword. She seemed to be the only thing capable of withstanding the Super Vibration Blade. Anything else I grabbed would probably shatter.
"...But, it's only been, only been a few days... H-how long did I wait... I don't want to go back already..."
The Holy Sword kept her head lowered before letting out a tearful whine. Th-this girl had a real talent for making people feel guilty!
I hurriedly added:
"No, no, no. I'm not telling you to turn back into a sword right now. I only mean when we enter a dungeon. Let's go together only at times like that. And when we go out, I'll buy you something you want. Right. Would you like to visit a blacksmith or somewhere like that?"
"...What's that supposed to mean? Why would I go somewhere like that? Am I just a lump of metal?"
Well, aren't you?
"I don't want to go to a blacksmith. Anyway, you said you'd buy me things if I asked?"
"Uh-huh. Fine, as long as it's not too expensive."
Somehow, the Holy Sword's eyes sparkled. She looked like a child waiting for a present from Santa.
I finally coaxed the Holy Sword into promising. Somehow, it felt like I was raising a child.
"Okay, for now... huh?"
The Holy Sword suddenly shot to her feet.