Black Flame Dragon's Incarnation and Goblin (4)
Black Flame Dragon's Incarnation and Goblin (4)
#
"A strange sensation. Not mana, and not Divine Power either. What the hell are you?"
The black-armored figure muttered something incomprehensible.
"...."
But could they tell that?
That caught my attention. Not Divine Power? Reni said I had Divine Power.
Well, I'd never thought about it deeply, but that made sense. Even when I threw a punch to break the Holy Sword's seal, I never felt Divine Power welling up or anything. The holy attribute was only... granted to my semen.
Sure enough, there was no Divine Power stat in my Status Window. Ordinary magic such as Cleaning Magic used mana, but the skills I normally used drew on my Vital Essence.
But that was beside the point. There was nothing good to come from getting tangled up with someone like this.
No one who used grandiose terms like "Black Flame Dragon" in their self-introduction was ever right in the head.
Above all, this person had watched while goblins chewed on me without lifting a finger to help.
I shot back, my voice thick with displeasure.
"What business is it of yours what I use? Stop bothering me, and let's both go on our way."
"You won't tell me?"
As the black-armored figure said that, they drew the greatsword from their back and pointed it at me.
"...Then I'll just have to ask your body."
"..."
What the hell was this lunatic doing? Pointing a sword at me because I would not answer a question was bad enough, but they were swinging a greatsword practically as large as their own body as though it weighed nothing. This chuunibyou had the ability and actual follow-through to back up the act!
How was I supposed to stop them? Wait—that was right!
"Hey, look. I heard they report you if adventurers attack each other inside a dungeon. You planning on making an enemy of the Guild?"
"..."
-Whissssh
"..."
"..."
Silence passed between us like a tumbleweed rolling between two gunslingers in a western. It wasn't tense, however. The black-armored lunatic was visibly flustered.
"....A lie."
A lie, my ass. You definitely know. I can see your pupils shaking from here, you moron!
"Judging by that reaction, you already know. This is hardly your first time causing trouble with the Guild, is it?"
"..."
I knew it. I'd realized as much when they went quietly with those two large women earlier. I left the frozen warrior behind and turned away—
"W-Wait! Fine, this is a duel!"
I had no choice but to turn back. What nonsense was this now? As though they knew it sounded absurd, they hurried to continue.
"You slighted me, so my honor has been damaged! There's no helping it. There's no way but to settle this with a duel. The Law of Duels takes precedence over Guild rules, so you must accept—"
"What?"
Honor? Even with my modern sensibilities, which did not place much value on concepts like honor, I could tell they were talking nonsense. Demanding a duel from an unarmed opponent and calling it honorable?
"I don’t even have a sword, though?"
"..."
The warrior froze again. I seized the opening and fired off words like a machine gun.
"Does the Incarnation of the Black Flame Dragon not understand honor? Does someone who knows honor just demand a duel or whatever from someone who lost their weapon? Come to think of it, you were just standing there watching from behind. Isn't your precious honor already damaged?"
"Grrrk...!"
I could almost see veins bulging over the helmet. They were literally stamping their feet in frustration now. Were they actually rather young?
"Gah...! Y-You cowardly, petty little bastard! Fine! Will this do?!"
They planted the greatsword in the ground and raised their fists as though intending to settle things barehanded. I was tired of this pointless squabble. Did I really need to keep dealing with them? I ignored the warrior and turned to leave.
"Hey! Where are you going?!"
"..."
"Th-this...!"
"Oh, for fuck's sake!"
At some point, the lunatic had closed the distance and grabbed my shoulder!
"Fight me!"
"Let go, you lunatic! Why the hell would I do that with you?!"
"Argh, just do it!!!"
What followed was a petty scuffle no different from a children's fight. When I pried their hand off my shoulder, they grabbed my forearm. When I shook them loose, they lunged at me again. Damn it, this would never end!
The only saving grace was that they were not as strong as I'd expected. I seized their shoulders and shouted directly into their ear!
"YAH!!!!"
"Ugh?!"
They flinched at my sudden shout and tried to pull away, but I held on to their shoulders. Good. Their attention was fixed on me. Now I could use Invisible Hand to seize both thighs and pour in 「Pleasure」—
"Y-You...!"
"Wha, what..."
"You... You could not possibly be...!"
"...?"
I kept up the staring contest so they couldn't focus anywhere else while pouring pleasure into them with Invisible Hand. I set Climax Prohibition to its maximum duration. That way...
"You bastard... You're trying to rape me!"
"...What?!"
That was it! Now I understood! Following me in secret! Waiting for the goblins to get me! And when that didn't work, trying to subdue me! You were trying to rape me, weren't you?!
"What the hell kind of bullshit...!"
"Your crotch is proof!"
In situations like this, the first to cry won. My tears were proof! First to cry, first to win!
They were wearing full plate, so I couldn't see what was happening around their groin. Their legs were trembling from the continuous pleasure, however, and the inside of the armor was probably in quite a state.
"...! N-No, this is...!"
"You horny perverted bastard! I'm not into that kind of thing! Get the hell away from me!"
I shouted that, shoved the warrior away, and ran. When I glanced back, they were sitting slumped on the ground and staring blankly after me.
I was done with soloing. I would never wander around alone again.
# # #
I was exhausted.
I was completely worn out. The sword I'd brought in place of the Holy Sword had shattered. I'd fought a filthy battle against goblins while unarmed, and the moment that ended, I'd gotten into a scuffle with a black-armored chuunibyou.
Thanks to the system, I didn't feel much physical fatigue, but mental fatigue was another matter.
But even so, I couldn't turn back after coming all this way. Trudging along, I passed through the Unicorn Forest and finally arrived at the Witch's Hut.
Calling it a hut was a joke—it was a rather impressive mansion. It was still amazing every time I saw it. How did she maintain a mansion like this inside a dungeon? Even assuming the three idiots kept her supplied, this wasn't the sort of mansion one person could maintain alone. And there didn't seem to be any hired help.
Did she have ghosts working for her?
"..."
I felt uneasy for some reason. The surroundings were deathly quiet: no insects, no wind. Come to think of it, I hadn't encountered any unicorns on the way here either.
...I'd better just take what I came for and leave.
-Creeeak.
"?!"
The door opened by itself?! Before I could even knock, it slid open, smooth as an automatic door. But there was no one behind it?!
-Come in.
A drowsy, languid voice came from inside. And then, as if I'd heard a Word of Command, my feet moved of their own accord toward the interior.
I sat down in the same chair as before, and somewhere, a strange sound reached me. Turning my eyes toward the source, I saw a unicorn the size of a finger. A model crafted with such incredible detail—
-Prrrrt.
"Gasp."
Fuck! It moved! And it wasn't just moving. It was even nibbling grass and lying down... the whole deal! The unicorn had drawn my eye, but it wasn't alone. Looking closely, there were tiny bushes, trees, a forest... and between the trees, even bicorns visible here and there.
Looking closely... was this a map of the surrounding area? I'd never heard of anything like this. It was even more functional than my minimap. An ability that surpassed the system—this witch's true identity was...
"Is it fascinating?"
"Ah."
Before I knew it, the Witch had set a teacup down in front of me.
Even seeing her again, her figure looked almost superhuman.
Silken, long, raven-black hair. Pale white skin as cold as moonlight. A dress that looked ready to reveal what shouldn't be seen, and a violent swell of breasts that somehow brought out a person's innate aggression.
Setting the teacup down, the Witch seated herself in the chair across from me. As she did, the shoulder strap of her dress slid smoothly down, dragging my gaze with it—!
"Have you been very busy lately? It's been days since I sent you that note..."
"Ah. I-I'm sorry."
The Witch smiled faintly.
"You didn't seem to be coming into the dungeon, yet you also didn't seem ready to retire from adventuring... Might I ask what happened?"
"Ah... well..."
I couldn't exactly say, "I nearly died trying to trap a pedo bastard!" So I fudged it.
"Some circumstances came up with one of my companions, so I had to be away for a while. A-Anyway..."
I quickly changed the subject. Letting that topic drag on would be trouble. It wasn't as if I was good at lying.
"Anyway, didn't you say you had something to discuss? And something about compensation... Come to think of it, did the problem with the forest where the bicorns lived get resolved well?"
The forest where the bicorns had settled. For some reason, the forest had been afflicted with a Purity Status Effect, and I'd advised using bees to break that state.
The Witch let out a shallow sigh at my words.
"It did get resolved, somehow. Though it took a little time to find someone else, as the Guild's veteran tamer has been shutting himself in lately. That veteran said he can't do anything but rabbits anymore... And with debts to pay, too..."
"...."
That tamer bastard who attacked Ariel and me... seemed to have come down with some pretty severe aftereffects. The rabbit masturbation I'd taught him was having an effect that reached all the way here. Good god. Maybe I'd gone too far.
The Witch smiled at seeing me frozen in disbelief.
"In any case, the problem has been resolved. I never imagined a method like that. You said you haven't been an adventurer long—where did you learn something like this?"
I had learned it from Professor Freud, the man who insisted that everything was sexual and could find sexual symbolism even in keys and keyholes...
But I couldn't say that out loud. There was no way they had a psychologist of that caliber here.
"I'm truly glad that the method you suggested worked."
The Witch didn't seem to be waiting for my answer in particular, as she continued on her own.
"Adventurers tend to handle things simply. If I'd requested the work from others, there would probably have been considerable bloodshed. Killing bicorns, or killing unicorns. That would have broken the environmental balance I've barely managed to maintain."
The Witch took a sip of tea and continued.
"When a problem arises, rather than trying to grasp its essence, people simply try to destroy it or cover it up... They can't bring themselves to dig into what lies beyond the problem."
"I-Is that so?"
I couldn't understand a single thing this woman was saying. What on earth was she trying to set up with all this preamble?
The Witch smiled brightly.
"How did you know that?"
"...Excuse me?"
The atmosphere turned strange. Just what was this woman?
"Where do you come from?"
-Click.
I heard the door lock behind me.