The Dwarf's Arms and Armor Shop
The Dwarf's Arms and Armor Shop
#
Bikini armor.
It reminded me of the games I used to play. A shameless object that covered only the absolute essentials and offered no defense to speak of—so embarrassing you could barely call it armor. Dungeons were no joke, so I probably wouldn't have the nerve to ask anyone to wear it.
Still... this was a surprisingly impressive piece. Looking closely, it was far too well made to be mere cosplay. The finishing was proper, and above all—
[Mobility-Focused Women's Armor]
[Rank: Common]
[Material: Leather]
[Durability: 100 / 100]
[Defense Rank: C]
The values appeared properly. Ordinary cloth clothing was F-rank or unranked, yet this was C-rank—higher than the leather armor I was currently wearing. So this was pointless craftsmanship taken to the extreme. I loved it.
...Let's at least take a look. I glanced around for no particular reason and opened the shop door.
-Jingle
"Welcome~ Oh?"
"Hello."
When the doorbell rang, a cute brown-haired dwarf girl rushed out from the back of the shop. The moment she saw my face, however, she let out a strange exclamation and began looking me up and down.
Uh, that stare was intense. I'd only come in to check the price of the bikini armor, but asking about it while she looked at me with sparkling eyes was seriously embarrassing!
Left with no choice, I had to pretend I had absolutely zero interest in bikini armor and browse the rest of the shop.
"..."
I'd come in on a whim, but it seemed like a decent shop. The prices didn't look too steep either, and most of the Defense Ranks were B or higher.
As I was skimming the armor without picking anything specific, the dwarf kid spoke up.
"Looking for something in particular~?"
"Ah, I was thinking of getting a new set of armor made."
"Oh~"
At that, the kid gave my body a once-over.
"Hmm~ D'you have a main weapon you use?"
"A sword, a little..."
After hearing my request, the kid started recommending various pieces of armor. A mobility-focused leather set with steel plates reinforcing the vital areas. Gauntlets that let your fingers move freely, and boots with iron tips at the toes.
"Ah, I'll help you try it on."
"No, no, I can do it myself..."
"The structure's simple, but it's better if I handle the adjustments~"
Saying that, the dwarf slipped the armor over me and began fiddling with the straps.
"Ngh?"
"Ah, sorry 'bout that."
D-did she just touch me there? I looked down in disbelief, but the dwarf only grinned slyly.
"All done~"
Freed from the dwarf's hands, I moved my body around. This was... actually pretty great. The stats showed a high rating, nothing got in the way, and the weight distribution was so good that even with the steel plates I didn't feel heavy.
"This is pretty nice. You only gave me a quick glance and it fits this well. It moves comfortably too."
"Hehe~ Thank you kindly~ I've been doing business here for quite a while, you see. Heh heh."
"Oh-ho. How long have you been at it?"
"About a hundred years or so~"
Ghk. That meant she was over a hundred years old. She was not merely a cute little girl but a grandmother. Her way of speaking was rather crude for a grandmother, though...
"Ehh~ You look awfully disillusioned right now, sir?"
"Urk."
"Folks like dwarves and elves live on a different timescale from humans~ We don't just WHAM! grow old in a few years like you lot!"
"S-sorry..."
N-no. If someone standing right in front of me counted her age in centuries, of course I was taken aback. Dwarves and elves, huh. The only elf I'd met was barely twenty!
"It's fine~ Most humans who come up from the sticks make the same face as you when they first see a demi-human. Hehehe."
It didn't sound fine. There were thorns in those words. Th-this was the moment to change the subject.
"Uh, um. You know. That women's armor you've got on display over there..."
"Ah~ You've got an eye for it!"
The dwarf rubbed her palms together and crinkled up the corners of her eyes. The way she acted seemed less like a master craftswoman and more like the very model of a merchant.
"That one? It was designed by one of the Heroes from the previous cycle. I can't honestly call it practical, but there was quite a bit of demand for its aesthetic value. However..."
The dwarf stole a glance behind me.
"Did you come alone? Don't tell me you're the one..."
"No, no. That's not it. It's for a present. A present."
"Aha. Do you have a sweetheart, then?"
"Uh... well... something like that."
My girls... We hadn't formally confessed to each other, but by now, weren't we more than lovers? Right. Definitely. They'd even agreed to bear my children. And if I made them wear this...
...Would they actually wear this for me?
"Sir, have you ever heard of the law of negotiation?"
The dwarf studied my face and then suddenly tossed that out there.
"...Pardon?"
"Take a look over here, please."
Saying that, the dwarf flipped a wall panel and laid out a whole row of different women's armor.
"This is..."
Not quite bikini armor. But still—leather armor like tights that showed the body's lines, suits with ventilation holes scattered here and there, even boots with mesh panels over them.
To think there was a craftswoman in this other world with taste like this. Magnificent!
The dwarf egged me on in a sly voice.
"Most women are horrified by the things displayed over there... but once those shock them, something like this starts to seem perfectly normal."
"...!"
I saw it. That dwarf lured men in with bikini armor, then, when the women accompanying them recoiled at the bikini, showed them something like this to push them into making a purchase! So that was what she meant by negotiation!
"....Impressive."
"Think nothing of it. Just bring your sweetheart by... and I'll handle the rest. Heh heh."
Without a word, I offered the dwarf a handshake. Her small, firm hand was reassuring.
# # #
After leaving the dwarf's shop, I headed toward the Guild. I'd bought all the equipment she had picked out for me, and I'd bring the girls back later. It felt as though I might have overspent, but it was a necessary expense. I had no desire to have my abdomen pierced again.
Still, just raising my defense wasn't the whole answer.
The fundamental problem of combat wasn't solved at all.
Right now, I was the definition of a jack-of-all-trades build. Without my sex buffs, I could barely fight or use magic properly. What kind of combat style was I supposed to pursue? Should I keep hoarding tens of thousands of points until I could enter the intermediate swordsmanship tree? Or should I find something sexual that could also help in battle?
Fighting through sexual elements? I was not Hentai Kamen. There was no obvious answer.
This was a problem I absolutely had to address.
The enemies I'd faced—Bone Fucker, Goblin Fucker, Pedo—had ridiculous titles, but in terms of combat power, they were nothing to dismiss. Having run into bastards like that three times now, it was pretty much guaranteed I'd keep meeting similar monsters.
Why had the Goddess given me missions like this?
As I walked, I stared blankly at the moon in the sky and the small satellites orbiting it at regular intervals.
Reni had called them the Shackles of the Demon God, and Yuri had called them the Necklace of Affection.
Satellites spaced at such precise intervals really did look like something a god had arranged personally.
But what in the world had that beam fired from the moon actually been? Reni had dressed it up as something romantic, but to me it looked more like the Death Star's planet-destroying laser. Of course, it wasn't as ominous as the Death Star, but it had looked just as powerful.
Lost in idle thoughts like that, I pushed open the Guild door.
#
The Guild was packed as usual. But the reception desk seemed unusually crowded... it looked like something special was going on. After a brief wait, I was able to meet Lize.
"Ah! Yoo-jin! It's been a while since you've come by."
Lize greeted me with a beaming smile. Her energy was as high as ever, but her face showed signs of fatigue. Her hair was slightly dishevelled, and the front of her shirt was unkemptly open. Fighting to keep my gaze from drifting downward and fixing it on the spot between Lize's eyebrows, I spoke.
"Things seem a little busier than usual... has something happened?"
"Ah, I was just about to mention that."
As she said that, Lize pointed to one corner of the room. Following her fingertip, there it was... a huge status board? A giant map? The map was changing in real time.
Seeing that I'd checked the status board, Lize started to explain.
"You know how the dungeon's environment shifts, right? The geography, the monsters, sometimes even the climate... mountains or rivers appearing where there weren't any, the habitats of resident monsters getting flipped around..."
"Ah, yes."
"That's what's happening again right now. Every time it does, the Guild runs quests to update the maps."
As she explained, Lize pulled out a map and showed it to me. Aside from a few sections, almost the entire map was filled with blank spaces.
"If you fill in the empty areas like this, the Guild will provide suitable compensation. Speaking of which, did you receive the note from the Witch?"
"Ah, yes."
"Then that works out perfectly! It seems the terrain on the way to the Witch's place just changed, so... if you fill it out on your way there, it'll help everyone!"
Lize pressed the map into my hands as she spoke.
"..."
...Something felt off. This was clearly a paid task. But it felt like it had been foisted on me.
My minimap gave me perfect bearings, so I didn't need to worry about getting lost inside the dungeon. Even so...
"...All right. I understand. See you later."
Just as I turned to head toward the dungeon entrance, saying that, a voice grabbed hold of me.
"Hey, you. You there—the black-haired one. Yes, you."