The Wizard, the Slime, and a Business Opportunity (2)
The Wizard, the Slime, and a Business Opportunity (2)
#
So this guy wanted me to put him into Heat State. So his dick would stay hard.
He wanted me to become a human Viagra. Never thought I'd see the day. But William's attitude was pretty desperate.
"At first I was furious. I never imagined you'd use sorcery like that. But even after I went home, it lasted. So I... with Mary... Mary, you see, she's..."
...This guy really had too much to say. Wasn't he embarrassed to talk about that?
William had hesitated at first, but once he started, he became a chatterbox. Even in another world, middle-aged men were still composite life-forms made from a boomer and a blowhard.
Still... listening to him, I felt an idea starting to form.
I pretended to listen to William's rambling while I opened the Dimensional Shop.
Let's just take a look...
[Searching...]
-Ding!
[1 Viagra Tablet]
[Price: 2000p]
[Would you like to purchase?]
[▶Yes / No]
A single Viagra pill cost 2000 points... If I had a somewhat hardcore night, I could earn about a thousand points a day. Expensive, but not unaffordable if I really had to pay.
Items in the Dimensional Shop were priced based on the technological gap and the impact they'd have on this world.
The fact that Viagra was pricey meant there was no Viagra or anything equivalent here yet. Still, the price being payable meant the technological gap wasn't colossal, or that making it wouldn't cause a massive upheaval.
Which meant...
"So, what do you say?"
William's probing question pulled me out of my thoughts. This guy still hadn't given up. I thought for a moment, then spoke.
"That wasn't me."
"There you go again..."
"It's the truth. You remember that elf who was with me. She used some kind of magic on you."
I threw Ariel under the bus. Revealing my ability was dangerous, so I needed someone else to serve as a scapegoat.
"Her? But up until now, she never once..."
"You've got eyes. You could tell, couldn't you? That elf didn't exactly get along with that pig... your former employer. She was practically ready to explode."
It was a lie, but now that I'd said it, it sounded pretty plausible.
Of course, I didn't just spout nonsense without thinking. William seemed genuinely desperate—he didn't seem like Sivter had sent him to figure out what really happened. And from what I'd experienced so far, that bastard preferred more direct methods.
"I see... Th-then, couldn't you put me in touch with that elf? I'll make it worth your while."
William hesitated but never gave up. Bordering on groveling. Had it really been that satisfying?
No, this felt less like satisfaction and more like the sorrow of a middle-aged man. The grief of a man who couldn't get it up...
Anyway, for him to stoop this low. If I used him, I might turn a little profit.
I did some mental arithmetic, then nodded, and William's face lit up with satisfaction.
Don't look so pleased.
Because you've just become a clinical test subject for bootleg Viagra.
# # #
"What was that about?"
"Well..."
I told them what had happened during my duel with William. The stuff I hadn't bothered to mention last time. If I'd never run into him, I might've kept it to myself, but now that we were this far in, hiding it was pointless.
No, it wasn't hiding. Strictly speaking, I'd merely omitted unnecessary details. That was all...
But the two of them gave me a kind of disgusted look. I'd been considerate of your mental health, and this was the reaction I got!
"Y-Yoo-jin. I-if he really ended up getting arrested..."
"Hey, I wasn’t planning to take it that far. Why do you think I ran off so fast? Just in case, okay?"
"Ah... really..."
Yuri's mouth twitched at one corner, like she found the whole thing pretty off-putting.
"I mean, it's seriously off-putting... Aren't heroes supposed to be, like... fair and honorable? How do you come up with that kind of crap every time you fight?"
...This girl. She had absolutely no filter. Just saying whatever popped into her head.
I clicked my tongue.
"Quiet. Heroes who are fair, honorable, and all that are totally out of fashion. Haven't you heard the saying, 'Live for yourself'?"
"There's no such saying. You're such an idiot."
"!!!!"
Th-this girl. She just said something insane. Good thing we were in another world. If we were on Earth, that'd be enough to get you mobbed by ten million CiderPass users and die a hero's legendary death!
"I-I'm telling you, if you're that lax, you won't survive in this rough world. You have to use everything you can. If we—no, if I kept being all polite every time I fought, do you think I'd still be in one piece like this?"
Yuri gave a contemptuous snort.
"In a dungeon, sure. Monsters don't come out of the dungeon. But that man was a person. What were you going to do if he got serious and came after you in secret? You said he's Silver Tier?"
"...Sh-shut up."
I had no comeback. She was right—if that guy had held a grudge, things could have gotten really messy. Clearly, unless I could thoroughly wipe someone's memory like I did with that ostrich man, I needed to be a bit more careful about using skills on people.
"Anyway, that's that. What did he want? Didn't seem like he came for revenge."
I tried to fudge it, but then realized I had no reason to hide it from her, so I told her straight.
"He wants me to use my ability on him again. Says it helps with his nighttime activities."
"Huh?!" "Urk."
A look of sheer disbelief.
"H-how can someone have that done to them and ask for more? That's seriously messed up. Are all guys like that?"
Look at Yuri, running her mouth because it wasn't her problem!
"Hey... that's a really serious issue... You girls have never experienced a... deficiency, so you don't understand, but for a man, it's... a very grave matter..."
"..."
Wh-what was with their faces? They looked more disgusted by the second. Wait. Why was I defending that man?
"A-anyway, so, you two ought to treat me better! You have no idea how frustrating it is not to be able to perform at night! You've never had to go through that, so you don't know how good you have it. Do you think there's anyone else as virile as me?"
"...The problem is you're too virile. Don't you ever think you're kind of like an animal?"
Yuri pressed her fingers to her forehead and shook her head back and forth.
"I-I'm fine with it."
"Reni..."
I really did only have you. If she said it was fine, then she really must have enjoyed being treated that way.
"Ah, there she goes taking your side again. That's so cheap. Come to think of it, didn't you once say something about being scared at night? I'm sure you did."
"N-no, I didn't..."
Under Yuri's interrogation, Reni didn't know what to do.
"Oh? You were scared?"
"Eep..."
And so, Yuri and I teased Reni together on our way back to the mansion.
# # #
The moment I got back to the mansion, I went looking for Ariel. Following Rebecca's guidance, I arrived at a corner of the mansion that housed a fairly large laboratory.
"Lady Ariel. Yoo-jin is here."
"Mm. Just a moment."
Ariel was in the middle of some incomprehensible experiment. Rebecca bowed her head to me and vanished somewhere at high speed. Come to think of it, that woman opened the front door in less than five seconds after I knocked. She claimed to manage the mansion by herself, yet she was incredibly elusive.
I left Ariel to her concentration and took a look around the laboratory.
"..."
In one corner of the cluttered lab stood a glass tube big enough for a person to enter; another corner was crammed with all kinds of specimens. And the bookshelf... just as I thought...
"Yes. What is it?"
Ariel turned to face me, her experiment apparently finished.
The reason I'd sought out Ariel was simple. Thanks to William, I'd thought of a business item.
Otherworld Viagra.
It didn't look like anyone here had yet developed a drug that directly induced, well, a stiffy—something like Viagra.
Buying Viagra in bulk from the Dimensional Shop and reselling it would've been great, but a single pill cost 2000 points; I couldn't use it as a business product. I had too many other things to spend points on as it was.
So, couldn't I use Aphrodisiac Slime like Viagra? Considering the behavior of that gorilla and the ostrich man who got blasted by Aphrodisiac Slime, it seemed entirely possible. Those bastards were at it for quite a while.
There were side effects like losing your mind or losing your memory, but I figured that could be solved by lowering the slime's concentration a little and adding a mild anesthetic.
Come to think of it, Earth had condoms containing topical anesthetic too. They numbed sensation to extend endurance... What a miserable subject.
"In any case, the fellow said he was willing to pay in silver."
"Is that so..."
Explaining this was painfully embarrassing, but Ariel kept her expression blank, which spared my shame. If she'd looked at me the way the girls did, like I was some kind of freak, I might have died of mortification.
"First, may I see it?"
"Here."
"I see... So this is the one from the journal..."
I handed over the flask containing the Aphrodisiac Slime, and Ariel poured it onto a laboratory dish. What was that thing called—a petri dish?
Ariel examined the dish this way and that with a highly interested expression. She didn't stop there; she poked it with a rod and added something to it.
Anyway, this elf's attitude was remarkably earnest and decent. From a woman's perspective, this had to sound like utter nonsense. I didn't have to look far for proof—just the way Reni and Yuri had reacted made that clear.
"You're listening to this pretty seriously."
"Diversifying revenue is welcome in many ways. Besides, you are my benefactor."
Ariel's face remained expressionless, but I could tell she was genuinely grateful.
Still, it wasn't just charity; this was a mutually beneficial relationship. I had the idea and the raw material, but I lacked the ability to actually make the bootleg Viagra, not to mention any sales channels. To turn it into a product and sell it, I absolutely needed a local's help.
In that respect, Ariel was a strong candidate. She'd said she had a concrete plan for selling healing slimes, so I could hitch a ride on that, and more importantly, breaking her engagement to Sivter was a critical matter tied to the main quest.
"Did you say silver coins, though?"
"Yes."
William had said he'd pay in silver if the effect lasted throughout the night. The more I considered it, the more expensive that seemed. At Guardian’s Fort, the bald innkeeper had said brothel fees were paid in silver. It was on the same level as buying a woman for the night.
Maybe that was why Ariel's eyes seemed to glint with interest.
"Certainly... It may be worth experimenting with..."
As she said that, Ariel poked a finger into the slime on the petri dish.
You stupid elf. How could you touch it so carelessly?!