A Rat Lives in the Academy Cafeteria
“Huff, huff…! Then I guess I’ll have a bite too?”
A palm-sized chunk of cake still let out gentle wisps of steam. At first glance the blackened lump looked like a piece of charcoal, but the smell wasn’t bad at all. A faint, sweet aroma drifted up. Even though the outside was burnt to a crisp, the inside was surprisingly intact. I popped the soft bread into my mouth before it could cool.
“Haah……!”
The warm sponge cake filled my mouth. Its fluffy texture wrapped around my teeth. A hint of chocolate lingered softly at the back of my nose. The sweetness wasn’t overpowering, so it wasn’t bad. The only real regret was how much of it had burned. If only I’d baked it properly… The thought lingered like the faint chocolate scent.
“Chomp, chomp, chomp…!”
Derke was happily devouring her own piece without a single complaint. The earlier fuss about it being too hot had vanished; now she simply chewed with quiet focus. She clutched the cake in both tiny hands like a hamster and inhaled it, blowing on each bite the way one would on a hot steamed bun. It was unbearably cute.
All in all, the cake itself wasn’t bad. The burn kept it from earning any stars, but if the baking time had been managed better it probably would have scored at least two and a half.
—Fwoooosh…!
‘That said, I can’t skip tasting how this chocolate cake pairs with the mint cream.’
I dipped the remaining half of the bread into the mint cream and muttered to myself. Black chocolate cake and mint cream. The color combination alone felt violent. It was the kind of shocking visual only people in the know would recognize. Visually it was pretty enough, but the real problem was that it didn’t look appetizing.
‘Tch. Tasting it again after so long is making me nervous. Still, I can’t exactly ask Derke—who hates mint—to try it for me…’
I didn’t really want to eat it, but it felt like a creator’s duty. I had to taste it, figure out what was missing, and decide whether to fix it. Truthfully, the mint-and-chocolate pairing itself was the issue in my book…
—Haah……!
I squeezed my eyes shut and swallowed the whole thing in one go—mint-cream-covered chocolate cake and all. I planned to taste it quickly, chew, and swallow.
“Huaaah…? O-Oppa?! What did you just swallow, desu-yong?! Spit it out right now, desu-yong!!”
“Hm……?”
“No matter how much you like Derke, you can’t just choose the path to becoming a wraith like that, desu-yong!”
Derke’s eyes went wide as she shouted. Genuine worry filled her face, along with a healthy dose of “why on earth would you do something so extreme?” From the way she spoke, you’d think I’d just swallowed poison.
—Munch, munch…!
Still, I couldn’t just spit it out. Now that it was in my mouth, I had to see it through. I needed to figure out what was lacking and what needed improving. Mint cream and cake crumbs mixed on my tongue. The chocolate’s sweetness was actually pretty good. The real problem was the mint cream. The cream itself had turned out well; this wasn’t a matter of skill, just personal taste. The moment the cream touched my tongue, the cake’s sweetness evaporated under the sharp mint.
‘Ugh… I’m already sick of it. At this rate it just tastes like mint.’
Even if Sofia liked mint, the balance of ingredients was off. This went beyond simple taste preferences. If she’d only wanted to emphasize the mint, there was no reason to use expensive chocolate in the first place. The mint-chocolate I remembered hadn’t been mixed in these proportions.
‘I’ll have to find a better way to bring out the chocolate flavor—’
“Breeder Oppa…?! Are you really okay, desu-yong?!”
Derke’s voice reached me while I was still pondering the intense mint-cream balance.
“Ah? Derke?”
“You went quiet after swallowing it, so I got really worried, desu-yong! I thought you’d passed out…!”
“Pfft, don’t worry. I’m fine. I was just thinking for a second.”
When I looked down at the sound of her voice, Derke was holding out a mug of water, staring up at me with a deadly serious expression. Only Derke would worry about me so sincerely. She had her eccentric moments, but they were more than offset by how adorable she was.
“That’s a relief, but… I was really worried, desu-yong…! Q-Quick, rinse your mouth, desu-yong!”
“Thanks for worrying. I’ll drink it properly, then.”
I patted Derke’s head and rinsed my mouth with the water. It did feel much better afterward.
“Heheheh…♬ Feels nice!”
When I stroked her head she let out a pleased little sound, just like a purring cat. Watching her like that made the strong scent of mint fade away cleanly.
‘Speaking of which, this mint-chocolate cake… Since it’s still cake at heart, maybe it’ll taste better with milk? And is there a good way to bring out the chocolate flavor?’
With a clearer head, my thoughts flowed smoothly. I replayed the taste and pinpointed the problems. Just as I was coming up with a solution—
“Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding!”
The grandfather clock chimed at the perfect moment while I was still mulling over improvements. It was already four in the afternoon. Then again, a lot had happened. Time had flown by in a busy blur. I’d served the young ladies, cleaned up, formed a pact, and even tried making a mint-chocolate cake. The fact that only two hours had passed felt almost unbelievable.
“Haah. I’ll think about the cake later. What should I make tomorrow……?”
Now that I’d checked the time, it was time to start preparing for tomorrow’s service. Even after getting so much done, there was still more to do. Just running the lounge kept me busy enough.
“Huh? Do we have to knead dough again like yesterday, desu-yong?!”
“Yeah, looks like it.”
“Then Derke will help you again today, desu-yong!”
Derke beamed and pumped both fists. A lively Death Dragon was such a paradox that it only made her cuter.
“Thanks, even if it’s just words. By the way, Derke? What time do you have to head back today?”
“Umm… I think I can stay another hour or so, desu-yong!”
“Really? Then could you help me a little longer? I’ll give you another snack at roll call later.”
“Okay! As long as it’s not mint, I’m all for it, desu-yong!”
“You don’t have to worry about that. Let’s just finish up! I’ll make something tasty again.”
“Waaah…!! Derke’s excited, desu-yong!”
And so Derke and I rolled up our sleeves, already thinking about tomorrow’s dessert.
***
—Clatter…!
—Rumble rumble rumble……!!
Freshly baked goods tumbled from the oven onto a wide tray. It was already six-thirty in the evening. The lounge was fairly quiet. Only the occasional clatter of dishes broke the silence. Derke had gone home a while ago, leaving me alone. Just like yesterday, the lounge stayed peaceful until closing time. It was a truly tranquil stretch of hours.
During break, only the occasional staff member wandered in at random times. Once the semester started, the place emptied out after lunch. Classes must be pretty intense. Even if they only seemed to devour desserts, everyone was probably focused on their studies. Thanks to that, I’d had plenty of time to prepare tomorrow’s dessert in advance.
—Rumble rumble rumble…!
—Rustle, rustle…!
I let the freshly baked items cool a bit, then swept them into a large sack. Once everything was inside, the bag looked suspiciously like a feed sack.
‘This amount should be plenty.’
I smiled in satisfaction at the sack of desserts. Ah, what had I made? Nothing special—just hardtack biscuits that were easy to prepare ahead of time. They were the same biscuits as yesterday, but this time I planned to add a little variation. Even though today’s reaction had been explosive, serving the exact same thing again would be rude. Besides, I was worried about causing another blood-sugar shock, so I was hesitant to use sugar again.
So what did I intend to do with these biscuits?
“Hup! Then I guess I’ll head home and grab some dinner?”
Just wait a little longer. I’ll eat first, then work. I had to stop by the cafeteria anyway. I slung the feed-sack-like bag over my shoulder and stepped outside.
—Clatter!
I flipped the lounge sign to “CLOSE.”
“Wonder if that rat guy’s still alive.”
Muttering to myself, I headed for the cafeteria. Maybe it was because of everything that had happened today, but I was starting to feel hungry. Dinner service was probably in full swing by now. I found myself wanting to stuff something in my mouth.
‘By the way, what’s for dinner tonight?’
Please don’t let it be beef-rib soup with sliced meat. I didn’t have any gold left to pay the extra fee, and Ramji still had plenty of uses left.
—Creaaak…!
I offered a silent prayer for Ramji’s soul as I entered the cafeteria and joined the line at the serving counter. Oh, thank goodness—tonight’s dinner was some kind of curry-like dish with chicken. Sorry, but even I couldn’t tell what this food was supposed to be just by looking at it.
—Slosh…!
—Plop, plop!
Fluffy indica rice was topped with a haphazard scoop of chicken. It was self-serve; you took only as much as you could finish. The quality was poor, but the portions were generous. Still, who would actually scrape every last bit of this unappetizing mess?
“Ugh… How long did they boil this for?”
Had Ramji been trying to make samgyetang? The chicken had been simmered so long its shape was completely unrecognizable. Even the bones had separated on their own and were floating around freely.
‘If it’s going to be like this, they might as well have deboned it and served only the meat.’
—Munch, munch, munch…!
Complaining the whole time, I still had no choice but to shovel down food worse than military rations. I had to eat if I wanted to survive. Wow, what even was this flavor? Sour, salty, and the meat was completely separate. The chicken had turned into a soggy mush.
‘At least it wasn’t burnt this time. No feathers either.’
There were a few small improvements. They’d at least shown the bare minimum of courtesy. That was probably thanks to the young ladies’ generous “guidance.” But calling this “cooking” was a stretch. It was closer to mere “foodstuffs” meant only to fill an empty stomach. At this rate, I’d rather just chew on plain hardtack.
‘Haah, poor guy……’
The moment I tasted dinner, I was certain.
‘Ramji… He’s definitely dead, right?’
—Thud…!
Convinced, I clasped my hands together in prayer over his final creation. If this counted as mourning, at least his soul wouldn’t wander the afterlife.
‘There’s no way he’d still be alive after serving the young ladies food like this—’
“B-Breeder……?!”
“Huh? Ramji?”
While I was still praying for his soul, Ramji’s face appeared from the kitchen. For a second I thought I was seeing things. His appearance was downright pitiful. All his once-fluffy fur had been shaved off. Had it burned away when he used his breath? Looking at him like this, he really did seem like a ghost that had returned to this world.
“Y-You…! What happened to you?! Don’t tell me you’re wandering around like this because you still have regrets in this life……?”
“Stop talking nonsense! It’s to prevent shedding!”
Ramji shook his head, baring his large front teeth. Ah, so that’s why there were no hairs this time. Still, he looked hideous. Like he’d suffered total hair loss all over. He reminded me of a Sphynx cat.
“Anyway, Breeder?! You done eating? I need help…!”
“What? Why do you suddenly need my help? Got a spot you can’t reach to shave?”
“Not in the mood for jokes!”
“Then what is it?”
“Lady Sofia said you’d help me…!”
“???”
My hand froze in the middle of poking at my food. What was she talking about?
“Please, anything is fine… I need cooking lessons! My skills are way too lacking, squeak……!”
—Thud…!
Ramji approached with a desperate expression and even dropped to his knees. What was going on all of a sudden? Why did I have to teach him cooking? Had Sofia recommended me?
‘I already have enough on my plate as it is……’
Well, it worked out conveniently. I had something to ask Ramji anyway. This seemed like the perfect chance to negotiate.
“Hey, Ramji? If I teach you cooking like you asked, can I borrow the kitchen for a bit first?”
“Squeak?!”