I Became a Sek-pang Tester
The day before heading to orientation, I grabbed drinks with a friend who’d gotten into the same university. The two of us killed roughly four bottles of soju each. When I finally staggered back to my studio apartment, a single package was waiting in front of the door.
Recipient: Kang Han-gyul
Sender: Sek-pang
“Sek-pang…?” Some knockoff of Coupang? And how the hell did it know this address? I’d only just moved into this studio to start my independent college life. Aside from the official move-in paperwork, almost every address I used was still listed as my parents’ house. So how did they find me here?
Well, some data leak somewhere, probably.
I was still half-drunk, so the weirdness didn’t really register. I shrugged, scooped up the box, and carried it inside.
“So what did I even get?”
Sek-pang… No matter how you sliced it, the name screamed adult products. Maybe an onahole? I tore open the packaging.
“Whoa. That’s… intense.”
I suddenly felt very grateful I’d started living alone.
First Experience OK! Contains Pain-Relief Components!
Pregnancy Control OK! Definite Pregnancy or Sterility According to User’s Will!
The note that came with the item. Probably the product name and instructions. And just from the name, it was obvious the contents weren’t an onahole—they were the exact opposite.
“Holy shit, that’s vicious.”
It was a dildo. Easily over twenty centimeters long. Thickness that looked wider than the average woman’s wrist… an expert-only monster.
The description claimed even first-timers could use it, but—
“Yeah, right.”
No way in hell. Pain relief components? Even with anesthesia this thing would hurt; “relief” my ass.
“What kind of insane person sends something like this to a guy?”
I wouldn’t use a monster like this even with a partner. The moment it went in, it’d turn someone’s insides into a cave.
“Wow…”
Taking it out and examining it up close only made it look more grotesque. I genuinely wondered whether women who got off with this thing would even feel a normal guy inside them afterward. The design was so over-the-top it inspired thoughts like that without effort.
“Hmm.”
Suddenly I was curious. And when curiosity hits, you have to satisfy it, right?
“This is so fucked.”
I dropped my pants and held it next to my own equipment. The difference was night and day. I feel awkward saying it, but it was like comparing a child to a full-grown adult. I’d always thought I was at least above average, yet this thing made me look pathetic. At this size, could I even compete with a well-endowed Black guy?
“Huh?”
Right as that thought crossed my mind—
The Full-Tuning Fusion Genital Customized DX has merged with the user’s body.
The dildo flashed with light and was instantly absorbed straight into my crotch.
“Wait, what?”
A dream? Yeah, had to be a dream.
“Definitely a dream.”
I decided the entire ridiculous event was just a drunken hallucination, flopped onto the bed, and passed out. I hadn’t showered, but… I could wash tomorrow. It was only a dream anyway.
Alarm…
Whatever. It’s a dream.
I woke up feeling strangely refreshed. Out of habit I reached for my phone to check the time—
“Shit!”
The shuttle bus for orientation was about to leave. I barely managed to brush my teeth and splash water on my face.
“God damn it.”
I snatched the first hat I saw, jammed it on my head, and shoved my feet into my shoes. Ten minutes on foot to the station. Four minutes until departure.
Could I sprint and still make it?
“Toothbrush and… ah, forget it.”
No time to pack toiletries or a change of clothes. I just grabbed my smartphone and wallet and bolted out the door.
“Huff… huff…!”
Running felt unusually uncomfortable today.
Hangover?
I kept sprinting until the bus with Hanul University Orientation printed on the side came into view. The problem was that the door was already sliding shut—it was about to leave.
Damn it. Taxi it is.
My allowance was already tight; I’d be eating nothing but ramen for days.
Just as I was about to give up—
“Keep running!”
“Huff…?”
A woman on a motorcycle zoomed past and shouted at me.
Then why don’t you just give me a ride…!
…That thought died the instant I spotted the police car right behind her.
After the morning program and lunch, I headed toward the business department auditorium, muttering to myself.
“I feel disgusting.”
I’d sweated buckets from that desperate sprint. The schedule was an overnight trip, too. Maybe I should take a quick rinse in the bathroom?
“But I don’t have any clothes to change into.”
“Want to borrow some?”
“……!”
The unexpected reply to my soliloquy made me flinch hard. I spun around. Standing there was a woman I didn’t recognize. Yet something about her voice felt eerily familiar.
“Don’t remember me? You caught the bus thanks to me.”
“Ah!”
The bike girl. She’d been wearing a helmet earlier and had changed clothes, so I hadn’t recognized her. She’d been in a black jumper before; now she was wearing a business department gwajam.
…Business department?
“Are you… a senior from the business department?”
“Why? Thought I was a freshman too?”
“To be honest… yes.”
“I do have a baby face!”
She laughed lightly and kept walking.
“So, want to borrow clothes or not?”
“Your clothes, sunbae?”
“You want to wear mine?”
Her teasing tone made me answer in kind.
“I’m fine with it, but I’m worried about the stares from everyone else, so I’ll politely decline.”
“Pfft. Then I’ll tell you to return them before the after-party.”
“Yes, thank you.”
As I thanked her, a question popped into my head.
“Is the motorcycle yours, sunbae?”
“Huh? Uh… oh! No! It’s my boyfriend’s.”
“Ah.”
She has a boyfriend… There goes my campus couple dream…
“What, disappointed I’m taken?”
She was right, but I hid it behind a casual shrug.
“Of course I figured you would be. Is your boyfriend a student too?”
“No, he’s a working adult. Anyway, what’s your name, junior?”
“Ah, I’m Kang Han-gyul.”
The moment she heard my name, she smiled like she’d expected it.
“So it really is you.”
“Sorry? Sunbae, you are…”
“That’s a secret! See you later!”
She left me standing there confused and vanished into the business department building.
“What the…?”
She really knows how to mess with someone’s head. Is she keeping a whole roster or something?
Time passed. Orientation ended. A survey went around asking who would attend the after-party.
“Write your student number, name, and phone number here.”
I’d heard after-parties these days were usually at bars, but apparently this one was still happening in the auditorium. I’d considered skipping because of the sweat stench from my morning sprint, but they were providing a change of clothes, so I decided to join.
…She wouldn’t forget, right? I didn’t even know her name, so I couldn’t go looking for her.
Carrying that small anxiety, I stepped into the auditorium.
“Anyone named Kang Han-gyul, raise your hand.”
“I’m Kang Han-gyul.”
A male senior who looked like an upperclassman had been searching for me. It wasn’t a common name, so the odds of it being someone else were low.
“You?”
“Yes.”
“…Here.”
The senior gave me a quick once-over, then handed over a bundle of clothes. A peek revealed what looked like sweatpants and a short-sleeve tee.
Tsk, it’s still pretty cold out. Still, beggars can’t be choosers.
“Thank you!”
I swallowed my complaints and bowed politely. Then, desperate to wash off the gross feeling, I headed straight for the bathroom.
“Wow…”
The facility was badly outdated. No showerhead, just a pink plastic basin.
“Guess I’ll make do.”
I filled the basin and splashed water over myself.
“Ugh!”
Total failure. I was soaked.
“Everything’s wet now.”
I should have stripped completely from the start. Since even my underwear was drenched, I had no choice but to take the rest off too.
That was when I finally noticed.
“…What the hell is this?”
My proud pride—normally five centimeters, fifteen-point-eight when “angry”—had changed.
“Insane.”
No wonder running this morning had felt so awkward. Of course it would with this thing swinging around. Even completely soft, it looked over ten centimeters. Roughly thirteen, maybe? A little smaller than my old erect size.
Was this a disease? I couldn’t understand why my lower half had suddenly transformed.
After standing in the bathroom pondering for a long time, the memory finally surfaced.
“That… wasn’t a dream?”
Sek-pang. The dildo it sent. The memory of it merging with me last night.
…I was dying of anxiety.
Not because of the massively upgraded cock itself. Worrying about it was pointless if it was some kind of magic instead of a disease. Honestly, I actually liked it. I’d be disappointed if it went back to the old size.
The real problem was underwear. Specifically, the fact that I currently wasn’t wearing any.
Right after my underwear got soaked, I hadn’t been too worried. As long as I didn’t get hard, no one would notice I was going commando. But now I had a monster that exceeded thirteen centimeters even while soft. The borrowed sweatpants weren’t that loose, either. The slightest movement made it ridiculously obvious.
Just hang around a little longer and then head back.
My original pants were drying in an empty room. I could change once they were dry.
…That had been the plan, but an obstacle appeared.
“Penalty!”
“Kyaaah!”
“Drink! Drink! Drink!”
I’d been hit with consecutive penalties the moment the drinking games started. These freshmen were terrifyingly good at them. Had they trained with drinking games instead of studying for exams?
“Wow, Han-gyul drinks like a champ!”
“Didn’t he already finish two bottles by himself?”
“Come on, any guy can handle that much!”
With this much attention on me, I couldn’t just slip away. My pride refused. If the crowd had been ugly I might have faked being drunk and bailed, but most of them were above average in looks. Leaving now felt like too big a waste.
This is actually going to kill me…
I was running on pure willpower while my body screamed for mercy.
“Um, I’m going to step outside for some air.”
“Sure!”
“Come back quick!”
I left my bright-eyed classmates behind and escaped the building.
“Ugh…”
The cold air helped clear my head a little. Yeah, I should’ve just run away earlier instead of showing off. Passing out would be way more embarrassing.
The moment I decided to ditch the drinking party—
“First, gotta empty the tank.”
The sudden chill must have triggered my bladder. The bathroom was on the opposite side of the auditorium where everyone was drinking, right in front of the spot I’d just escaped from.
“…No choice.”
I’d have to pee outside. But doing it right out in the open felt wrong, so I walked a little farther. Rounding the side of the building, I spotted a rainwater gutter.
“Perfect.”
This didn’t really count as public urination.
“Ugh…!”
Shaaaa—!
Come to think of it, this was my first piss of the day. I’d been in too much of a rush that morning, and the nerves during orientation had kept me from noticing the urge. The stream went on for a long time.
Which was why I couldn’t stop even when I heard footsteps approaching.
“Oh.”
The silver lining was that the person who appeared was someone I recognized.
“Ah.”
The problem was that it was a girl.
And it was the bike girl.