The Cracks Beneath the Mask
How long had I been laughing?
When I finally lifted my head, a perfectly round moon hung high in the sky, aloof and serene.
“It’s already night.”
I brushed the dust from my clothes and trudged wearily toward the dormitory.
As I walked, countless emotions and thoughts swirled through my mind. Resentment, anger, sorrow—every negative feeling imaginable tore through my head. In the end, only one question remained.
Just what the hell happened to turn Teodora into… that?
That repulsive level of selfishness. The way she used violence to force her will on others. It wouldn’t have been strange to call it outright infantile regression.
The abnormal behavior and violence she had shown today still sent chills down my spine. Especially that final kiss and the shameful way she had acted…
I didn’t even want to think about it.
Just forget about her. We won’t be seeing each other anymore anyway.
Teodora had said she wanted to meet again tomorrow, but I had zero intention of going along with that. I was done passively enduring everything.
Realistically, I had no means to oppose her right now. Pure strength was out of the question, and the difference in our social ranks made it difficult to push back either.
But—
If I changed the premise, everything shifted.
Why should I have to confront Teodora at all?
If I didn’t like it, couldn’t I simply avoid her?
The ‘Iliya’ from my dream had said it plainly. Why was I so fixated on submitting a withdrawal form and leaving?
She was right.
If I just walked out on my own two feet, the academy would handle the expulsion or dismissal procedures themselves, wouldn’t they?
Why had I been so stupidly obsessed with following the proper procedures before?
I’m leaving the academy today.
There was no more hesitation.
Once I was outside, I would have no further business with this place.
And after that…
What am I supposed to do next?
It felt as if I had completely lost any sense of purpose in life.
I had only vaguely imagined what would come after dropping out; I had no concrete plans.
Whatever it is, I can figure it out once I’m out. There’s no rush.
I would pack the few belongings left in the dormitory and leave tonight.
Finally… I might be able to breathe a little easier.
Today had been exhausting, filled with far too many events, but I still had a bit of stamina left.
Now that I truly believed it was over, my heavy footsteps grew lighter.
I entered the dormitory and headed for the room at the far end of the fourth floor.
The moment I turned the corner, moving toward the end of the hallway—
Someone was pacing back and forth in front of my door.
Because it was night, I could only make out a silhouette. I couldn’t see any details.
Shit… fuck.
My body began to tremble instinctively.
Who was it?
Solia? Iliya? Or maybe Isila?
Whoever it was, I just prayed it wasn’t Teodora.
I stopped walking and carefully began to back away.
Right then—
The figure seemed to notice my gaze and abruptly turned its head.
“·····Brother? You’re back! I’ve been waiting this whole time.”
Pure white hair caught the moonlight and revealed itself.
The Saint. Cecilia.
She flashed a bright, cheerful smile and waved her hand in greeting.
“···What brings you here so late at night?”
It was a relief that it wasn’t a familiar—and terrifying—face, but I certainly hadn’t expected her to show up.
Cecilia
📍 Role: Supporting character, Saint of the Holy Order
📍 True Nature: Regressor, manipulative, possessive, cunning
📍 Speech: Sweet and polite on the surface — cold and calculating beneath
***
Cecilia.
She was a figure shrouded in mystery not only in reality but even in the ‘game’ of my previous life.
Perhaps because of the unique nature of her Saint occupation, she was the only NPC that couldn’t be pursued romantically.
Aside from her major role in the very late stages of the game, her presence had been strangely minimal.
Cecilia gave me a bitter smile and spoke.
“I felt terrible about the misunderstanding I caused earlier today, so I came to apologize. Is your throat alright…?”
“It’s fine. If there’s nothing else, I’ll take my leave first.”
I had no particular desire to get entangled with her, so I answered curtly and reached for the doorknob.
Just before I could enter my room—
Grab.
Cecilia suddenly seized my shoulder.
“W-wait! Brother, have you perhaps made a decision about joining the theology club…?”
“Ah, the theology club. That’s…”
I glanced at her expression.
Cecilia wore an unmistakably eager, expectant look.
If I refused here, she would probably become even more bothersome, so I simply nodded.
“I’ll join. I’ll start attending from tomorrow.”
Since I wouldn’t be seeing her again anyway, one little lie wouldn’t hurt.
Cecilia’s face lit up with a radiant smile.
“Really…? Thank you so much…!”
She bounced with joy, looking every bit like an adorable young girl if one ignored her title as Saint.
Her overwhelming delight pricked my conscience a little, but there was nothing I could do about it.
Still smiling, Cecilia carefully held out a wooden crucifix toward me.
The cross looked quite old and worn, as if it had weathered many years.
“I’m sorry to trouble you, but… could you perhaps look at this ‘crucifix’ and give me your thoughts…?”
“The crucifix…?”
It seemed rather sudden, but I supposed this was her own little insurance policy.
Swear in the name of God. Something like that.
“Yes! It’s purely a formal procedure, so please don’t feel pressured.”
Cecilia pushed the crucifix closer, as if to reassure me.
A formal procedure? Is that really something a Saint should say…?
For a religious figure, her mindset seemed surprisingly open.
It looked like the girl before me had a true talent for proselytizing.
“Come on, quickly!”
Hmm. There was something…
A strangely insistent feeling about the way she was pushing this.
Was it just my imagination?
Well, all I had to do was say a few words.
What could possibly go wrong?
Besides, the person in front of me was the Saint. She wouldn’t do anything to harm me.
“I will faithfully attend the theology club from now on.”
The moment the words left my mouth—
Crack.
A fissure appeared in the old wooden crucifix.
Hmm, it must have been pretty ancient.
Once my oath was finished, Cecilia wore a suspiciously satisfied smile.
“····Hehe, thank you. Aren, Senior.”
Hm? Did she just change how she addressed me?
Whatever. My business here was done.
“Then I’ll see you tomorrow. I’ll head in first.”
I finished the greeting and opened the door.
She naturally followed me inside the room.
“······? What are you doing?”
Why on earth had Cecilia followed me in?
The situation made no sense.
A Saint committing unauthorized entry? What kind of absurdity was this?
While I stared at her in bewilderment, Cecilia casually sat on the edge of my bed and tilted her head.
“Hm? Senior, what do you mean? You said you wanted to have a ‘consultation’ with me today, so I came in with you, didn’t I?”
“······?”
Not only had her way of addressing me changed, but she was suddenly spouting nonsense.
For some reason, a cold, eerie sensation crawled across my skin.
Cecilia spoke in a low, gloomy voice completely different from before.
Think again.
You have worries you want to confide in me — your trustworthy junior and the Saint — don’t you?
“······Ah.”
My mind went completely blank.
An unpleasant sensation, as if someone were kneading the inside of my skull.
My head grew hotter and hotter.
Cecilia reached out to touch my forehead with a worried expression.
“Senior, are you alright?”
“······Yes. I’m sorry. It seems something’s wrong with my head.”
That’s right.
I had definitely wanted to consult with Cecilia.
Really, how could I have forgotten something so important?
“Then, about my worries…”
My current concern was leaving the academy.
But was it right to tell something like that to the Saint before me?
No — to my junior?
A strange sense of dissonance washed over me.
When I hesitated, Cecilia murmured in a sunken voice.
“Senior, don’t hesitate. We’re very close, aren’t we…?”
“·····Are we?”
“Yes. You’ve always spoken to me comfortably in casual speech, and we’ve always set aside our positions and statuses when talking, right? You seem a little strange today, Senior. Please act like you usually do.”
Had we…?
I had spent an entire year shut away in my room.
We couldn’t have known each other for very long.
Cecilia naturally took my hand and guided me to sit beside her.
The distance was far too close.
Holding both of my hands, she whispered.
“Don’t think too deeply. Worries are better shared with someone rather than suffered alone, you know…?”
Well, if Cecilia said so, it must be true.
I poured out the worries I had been hiding.
“Cecilia, I’m only telling you this. I’m planning to leave the academy today.”
“······Pardon?”
The relaxed expression on Cecilia’s face instantly flooded with panic.
Well, hearing that I was leaving so suddenly would be shocking.
With a somewhat dazed look, she asked again.
“Um, so… you’re leaving today, Senior?”
“Yeah.”
“Then what about the theology club…? You said you’d attend regularly. Don’t tell me you lied to me…?”
“Ah, that was…”
Wait, why had I lied about joining the theology club?
Since Cecilia was my ‘close’ junior, there was no way I would have lied to her.
Twitch.
My head itched strangely. I felt like scratching it right this second.
Cecilia stared at me intently, then spoke carefully.
“Senior. Are you truly planning to leave the academy?”
“Yeah. I don’t think I can endure it any longer.”
This was genuine, straight from the heart.
At my answer, Cecilia hesitated slightly, looking anxious.
“Even if I asked you to stay… would it be impossible…?”
“Yeah… I’m afraid so.”
No matter how close we were, she couldn’t stop me from leaving the academy.
“Then… how about putting it on ‘hold’ for a little while?”
“······On hold?”