There's No Way I'm Getting Ravaged by Real-Life Goblins
By the time I came to, the sex that seemed like it would drag on until the following morning was already completely over.
“Hrrnnnngh… hrrrraaaagh…”
Abendot lay sprawled spread-eagle across the bed, snoring loud enough to rattle the walls, while I lay unconscious beside him, coated in semen inside and out.
“Ugh… everything hurts so bad.”
That grotesque monstrosity of a cock had gone completely limp now, hanging there in defeated repose.
Even in that state, it still dwarfed the average Korean man's package with ease.
“Doesn't he have a clue at all?”
I waved my hand in front of his face. Even making deliberate noises, nothing worked — Abendot slept like a man without a care in the world.
Then escaping had to happen right now, this very second.
Moving quickly but quietly, I slipped open the wardrobe and found Hamalon's battle outfit from the game.
If you heard the words "saintess battle attire," you'd imagine something suitably holy.
Well, technically it *is* holy.
After all, you have to wear a full-body suit of skin-tight black with the white veil trimmed in gold that marks the saintess.
“But how am I supposed to put this thing on?”
Back when I was a player, the outfit swapped on automatically the moment you left town, so I had absolutely no idea how to actually wear it.
“Khhrraaagh…”
The mere change in the rhythm of his snoring was enough to make me imagine him about to wake up, and I bolted out of the room in a panic.
I'd just stripped off my glorified sackcloth pajamas, tossed them aside, and was contemplating the nightmare of getting into this outfit when—
“Hnngh…♡”
I felt the semen packed deep inside my womb go thick and viscous as it slid down along my inner walls.
Without thinking, I squeezed my inner thighs together, and it kept on trickling, running all the way down my legs.
“That's just… seriously gross. Am I going to get pregnant from this?”
I'd counted the times he came inside my womb up to three, but after that I blacked out and lost track.
With semen this thick and potent, it would be stranger if I *didn't* get pregnant.
“Considering Hamalon… always got creampied like this…”
For me, having become Hamalon, this was no longer a game but reality. And yet I wanted to believe — had to believe — that in the game's story, Hamalon never got pregnant even once.
If this were truly reality, there'd be no way some unknowable, coercive force would make her crave cock against her will.
“Ha… I can't just leave it like this, can I.”
Every fiber of me wanted to sprint to the bathroom and wash out all that cum right this instant — but that would only give Abendot a head start on waking up.
Even if I felt gross and sticky, running away as-is was my only option.
“Leg goes in here… then the arm…”
I slowly put on Hamalon's battle outfit piece by piece, and at last the form I'd only ever seen through a screen was right there before my eyes, up close and personal.
“This is… way too lewd, isn't it?”
No wonder humans and monster Creatures alike went into heat and came running the moment they saw it.
“Wearing this is basically begging to get ravaged.”
The full-body suit was impossibly thin and elastic. Which meant that from my hips to my waist, my back, my chest — it was practically a full-body paint job in black.
The prospect of fighting Creatures in this getup was bleak, but only for a moment.
If I'd cleared it with good control and a no-hit run as a player, then I just had to move hard and clean against the Creatures, that was all.
Besides, I could move my body more freely than I ever could playing the game, so it would surely be even easier.
“So this is Hamalon's bag, huh.”
Hamalon's bag was the little pocket always fastened at her hip.
The setting was that this pocket, powered by Divine Power, could hold an endless stream of items just like a certain robot cat's four-dimensional pocket — and when I tested it, my outer robe slid in like it was being sucked down a drain.
When I thought of the robe and opened the pocket, it plopped right into my hand.
“And my staff…”
I held my palm forward and pictured the staff, and a soft golden glow bloomed in the empty air, coalescing into the staff itself.
Since it was the single most important item for the adventure about to begin, I made sure I had the summoning down cold.
“Alright. Time to move out.”
***
I fled Hebnia like a runaway and headed for Gotiamo Cave, the game's first dungeon.
As a player, you only had to go to the village entrance and tap the UI button that read “Travel to Gotiamo Cave,” so I'd worried about the actual walk — but my two legs moved on autopilot like a navigation system and carried me straight to the cave's entrance.
“So this is the entrance to Gotiamo Cave.”
The oppressive gloom radiating from the mouth of the cave sent a chill crawling up my spine.
The Creatures here were nothing but goblins and the boss — an Orc — that ruled and commanded them.
Knowing every single one of their patterns, this was no place for me to feel fear.
“Finish this fast, then head to the next dungeon.”
The moment I stepped into the cave, already looking forward to the battle ahead—
KUGUUUUNG—!!
A thick stone door erupted from the ground and sealed the entrance behind me completely.
That's right — like falling into a trap, the first dungeon run had officially begun.
“Holy Symbol.”
I cast the basic holy-attribute skill to push back the pitch-black darkness, then advanced one wary step at a time.
Goblin patterns were dead simple.
They always moved in packs, and as they closed in through this darkness, the signal was multiple sets of footfalls reaching my ears.
“Kieeeek!”
Along with this shriek that echoed right now… huh? Why am I hearing it already?
“Water Shot!”
PUPUPUUUNG—!!
“KIEEEEEEEK!!!”
I thrust my hand forward and loosed a volley of razor-sharp water droplets — and along with the popping bursts of impact came a scream that felt like it was splitting my eardrums.
A howl on a completely different level from anything through a headset. My brow furrowed hard.
“Way too fast?! I literally just walked in the door!”
The goblin assault was supposed to begin only when they discovered the treasure room where they kept the loot they'd stolen from humans.
“So the combat flows differently from the game too. Tch — if only I could use fire magic.”
Goblins were extremely weak to fire-attribute magic, but in this cave it couldn't be used.
*Holy Eros*, true to its eroge roots in one way, was otherwise a game with startlingly realistic simulation — spam fire-attribute skills in a cave and the oxygen deprivation would start shaving off your HP.
In the game it was just HP. Here, it was my body and my life.
Not even the tiniest sliver of HP loss was acceptable.
“Water Shot!”
I cast the water-attribute skill once more to triangulate the direction of their screams.
“Holy Symbol!”
Then I used a second Holy Symbol and hurled it toward the sound.
And there they were — a pack of goblins gripping crude weapons, right in my field of vision.
“A human… a female!”
“We breed her! Make her carry young!”
“Kieeeek!”
Just like in the game, they came charging at me like beasts in full heat, desperate to ravage me.
“You're honestly so fucking disgusting!”
They had scraps of leather draped over their crotches, and through them thrust unmistakable, stiffened cocks, flushed red and quivering.
I'd never seen it in sprite form, but watching those things swing as they charged at me was outright violence.
“Water Shot!”
I aimed at the goblins charging in the front line, but they dodged with startling agility and the shots caught the ones trailing behind instead. The ones still coming kept their advance — and then started crawling up the walls in grotesque, spider-like bursts of movement.
“Stuff you could never see in the sprites, huh.”
The patterns were deeply unfamiliar, but far from difficult to handle.
If their movements were that free, then so were mine.
“Reinforce!”
By spending a small amount of Divine Power, I could harden the staff — turning it into one of Hamalon's most useful blunt instruments.
CRUUUNCH—!!
I crushed the throats of the first three goblins to lunge at me in a single blow, then caught the next one charging close behind with the Holy Symbol I'd been using to light my way.
“Kieeeek!”
“You were hiding there?!”
I thought I'd wiped out the charging pack, but a few of them remained — bodies pressed perfectly against the stone, blending into the wall itself.
I couldn't believe goblins were capable of this kind of intelligence, and in the split second I froze, stunned—
SHRAAAAAAK—!!
“Kyaaaagh!”
Their crude blades raked across my battle outfit, shredding it.
Thankfully, I twisted my body to the limit so only the clothes were torn — but that was its own kind of problem.
“Kihihihi… those milkers look tasty!”
“Want… want to breed her now… human woman!”
The body stocking split open and the garment covering it tore away with it, baring my chest and crotch — and at the sight, the goblins started wiggling their cocks harder, snickering and cackling.
“You goddamn goblin bastards! You think I'm going to let YOU ravage ME?!”
If I got taken down here, neither my pride as a gamer nor my pride as a *Holy Eros* veteran rottenwater player would ever forgive it.
“Holy Symbol!”
FAAAAAAANG—!!
Letting these trash-tier mobs actually hit me was beyond unforgivable. I dumped half of my remaining Divine Power straight into the staff and unleashed holy skills in a relentless barrage.
“KIEEEEEEEEEK!”
Blinding light erupted outward, and the goblins that had encircled me — the ones still trying to throw themselves at me — were rendered to ash without even a trace of form, vanishing on the spot.
The attack was only possible because I remembered that combining Divine Power with mana could empower a skill.
“Hngh… maybe I acted a little too emotionally.”
Perhaps from burning through half my Divine Power, a sudden headache pulsed behind my eyes, and my vision blurred for a moment before snapping back to normal.
“If my freedom of movement is this high, then the Creatures have the same freedom…”
Failing to think of the most important thing — how foolish of me.
“Whew… well, Divine Power recovers on its own if I just rest, anyway.”
By the time the dizziness had faded, I was walking on.
“Didn't expect goblins to attack by climbing walls, though.”
Against goblins in the game, the only trick was their ambush from the darkness. Patterns like charging along the walls simply didn't exist.
The goblins ahead would no doubt show the same grotesque patterns — and the dungeon boss, the Orc, would behave in ways I could afford to let my guard down around even less.
“If I remember right, it should be around… here!”
As I swept the area with my Holy Symbol and looked around, I found the storeroom where they kept the treasure stolen from humans. Being goblins, they'd blocked it with nothing more than a flimsy wooden door, so I swung my staff and smashed it in.
“Just how much is all of this worth?!”
The loot from the first dungeon sold for a minimum of 10,000 gold per item. If I hauled every piece out of here and sold it in the second town, I'd have the specs to push straight through the fourth dungeon without a single stop for repairs.
Of course, there was the demerit that dungeon difficulty scaled up with how much loot you carried — but for a rottenwater veteran like me, that hardly matt—
KUUUUNG—!!
“What was that?”
A tremor rolled through the air, indistinguishable from an earthquake.
KUUUNG—!! KUNG-KUNG-KUNG—!!
As it drew closer, the vibration grew strong enough to shake my whole body, and judging this was nothing ordinary, I abandoned the loot and dropped into a combat stance.
“Footsteps like that… it's definitely—”
“Grrrrh… GRAAAAAAH!”
In the game, if you collected every single piece of loot, the dungeon's difficulty spiked and you'd face the boss Orc alongside an overwhelming swarm of goblins.
But the scene I faced was completely different — and completely unfamiliar.
And of course it was.
“H-High Orcs?! Five of them?!”
The High Orc that appeared as a boss in the second dungeon and a mid-boss in the third — and there were no less than five of them standing right in front of me.