Holy Shroud (2)
The voice seemed to belong to a being that had simply dropped out of empty air.
“…An angel?”
I had to tip my head all the way back just to see its face; the angel was that enormous. It was pure white, as if carved from a single block of marble, and it gripped a colossal greatsword in both hands. The sheer presence of it planted awe in anyone who looked upon it.
I already had a fair idea of what it really was. An angel that had suddenly appeared in the middle of the Holy Shroud’s trial… that angel was almost certainly the Holy Shroud itself.
“Are you, by any chance… the Holy Shroud?”
I nearly slipped into casual speech, but the Holy Shroud was basically the examiner here. Best to be as polite as possible and leave a good impression.
I ask. For what purpose do you require my power?
Yeah, that was definitely the Holy Shroud. So the trial was basically a job interview? The only interviews I’d ever done were for college admissions, but whatever. First things first—project confidence while still keeping the manners.
“I need your power to defeat the Demon King and stop the extinction of humanity.”
It wasn’t a lie. The biggest reason was that I had to cut the Demon King’s head off if I wanted to survive and get back home, but there was no need to volunteer extra information.
I ask. Are you prepared to devote yourself to humanity?
“I am.”
Taking the Demon King’s head was dedicating myself to humanity. So I could answer the Holy Shroud with a clear conscience and not a single speck of shame before heaven.
I ask. Are you prepared to revere me?
“I am.”
In front of an overpowered item like this, I was fully prepared to be as shameless as necessary. I could even bow three times every morning before putting the Holy Shroud on. My life was on the line—of course I’d grovel. Wasn’t that obvious?
The trial is over.
…Already? That was surprisingly easy. Still, good news. The questions hadn’t been hard at all. I couldn’t even understand how every previous Saintess had failed this thing. Of course I passed. I’d answered with pure, unfiltered truth, and my answers had been textbook-perfect.
I looked up at the Holy Shroud with complete confidence. The Holy Shroud delivered its verdict.
You have failed.
…What?
No, seriously? Why?! I’d answered perfectly. Those were model answers. So why the hell—?!
One without qualification. Begone.
With those words the Holy Shroud raised the greatsword it had been holding in both hands and brought it straight down on me.
As the Holy Shroud brought the greatsword down on this generation’s Saintess, it thought:
In the end, it was the same as always. She did not possess the bearing required of one who would be the Holy Shroud’s master. Only the First Saintess had been different. Only the First Saintess had stood before the Holy Shroud with absolute confidence, never treating it as an object of reverence. The Holy Shroud had never seen that kind of spirit again after her, and so it had never chosen a new master.
A thunderous crash rolled through the mental world. The Saintess had surely been crushed out of existence. Saintesses, with extremely rare exceptions, possessed almost no combat ability.
That was what it expected as it waited. Something was wrong.
…Hm?
The mental world was not collapsing. One of the two pillars supporting it had fallen; the world should have crumbled. That was how it had always gone. The moment a Saintess died inside the mental world, the world slowly fell apart.
Which meant—
“…Thought I was dead for a second.”
How?!
The Holy Shroud watched this generation’s Saintess stagger back to her feet. She was still gripping the Holy Relic.
“I blocked it with the Holy Relic, and it still hurts like hell… but getting hit by Andreus hurts worse.”
She was covered in blood from head to toe. And yet she was still standing—exactly the way the First Saintess had stood. The First Saintess, too, had planted her staff and remained upright, looking ready to collapse at any moment, yet utterly unyielding. And in this generation’s Saintess’s eyes burned the same fighting spirit the First Saintess had once carried.
…Is that so.
It seemed it had misjudged her. At last, a new master had been found. Just as it was about to speak those words of emotion—
“Hey. Bundle of clothes.”
‘Did you say Holy Shroud?’
Spitting the blood that had pooled in her mouth, the Saintess spoke—exactly the way the First Saintess once had.
“So that’s how it is. A clothes-bundle that lives off its own superiority complex doesn’t listen to normal conversation, huh?”
‘It would have been nice if we could have talked things out properly. What a shame. Still, this works out fine.’
A chill ran through it. It must not repeat the mistake of that day. It had to clear up the misunderstanding at once.
W-wait just a moment!! The trial is—!!!!
In that instant, the Holy Shroud’s spiritual form was pierced through.
Pain. It had believed it would never feel such a thing again. Why?
It tried to grasp what had struck it—and then it saw. Light was gathering at the tip of the Saintess’s Holy Relic. And then the light was fired. There was no other way to describe it. There was no dodging it. It was far too fast.
Guaaaaaaaargh!!!!!
Its body was pierced by light once more. Unable to endure the pain that followed, it collapsed to its knees. And once again the voice reached it.
“Funny how I’ve got a conversation tool right here in my hand, isn’t it? And it just so happens to work really well on a big tall thing like you.”
‘Fortunately I have another means of conversation. You’re so large that this method should get through to you even better.’
The image of this generation’s Saintess and the First Saintess overlapped. No—any Saintess with that kind of spirit was enough. It had never wanted the First Saintess herself!
For a moment it even wondered whether the Saintess standing before it might be the First Saintess reborn. The Saintess smiled sweetly and spoke.
“This conversation tool is called bombardment. Since things have come to this, why don’t we take our time and have a nice, calm [conversation]?”
‘This conversation tool is called violence. Since I’ve gone and pulled it out after so long, why don’t we take our time and have a nice, calm [conversation]?’
Ah.
It was screwed.
I opened my eyes.
The remains of the First Saintess dissolved into a swirl of light and vanished, leaving only the Holy Shroud behind. I walked slowly over to the coffin and picked it up.
“…Don’t tell me… you actually succeeded?!”
I answered the Pope’s question with a quiet smile. The sight of me like that sent him into open excitement.
“H-how did you succeed?”
Well, if I had to explain how I succeeded…
“Let’s just say we reached mutual understanding through sincere conversation.”
I came up from the underground and returned to my room. The Holy Shroud was nestled in my arms. I’d originally planned to wash it once before putting it on, but it claimed to have automatic repair and cleaning functions, so I decided to just wear it. It felt a little gross, but laziness won out over the ick factor.
“Ugh, phantom pain.”
I’d been hit inside a mental world, yet my body still ached. If I’d actually died in there, it probably would have left a permanent trauma.
Anyway, I was glad the conversation with the Holy Shroud had gone well. Honestly I’d been a little worried that something so huge, holding such a huge weapon, might not respond well to my preferred method of dialogue.
“Lucky it was all size and no skill.”
Still, I’d gotten a good result. I would need to check the Holy Shroud’s performance properly, but at the very least I was no longer a glass cannon.
“Status Window.”
Currently, 3 functions related to this Grace are active.
Functions unlock when certain conditions are met.
[Active Functions]
◈ Shooting — Allows ordinary bombardment fire.
◈ Close Quarters — Physical ability is enhanced so that bombardment can be fired safely even at point-blank range.
◈ Holy Shroud — Defensive ability is enhanced so that bombardment can be fired safely even at point-blank range.
“…What the hell even is bombardment at this point.”
The moment I obtained the Holy Shroud, it announced that the conditions had been met and added the Holy Shroud as a new function. But this didn’t really have much to do with bombardment, did it?
I was about to dive into a deep philosophical inquiry into the definition of bombardment when I decided to try the Holy Shroud on first.
“Comfortable fit. Nothing snags when I move. Yeah, this is solid.”
I was grinning to myself, thoroughly satisfied with my new Holy Shroud, when—
Holy Shroud equip conditions met. Bombardment Fairy (Novice) function has been unlocked.
Bombardment Fairy (Novice): A being born when the lingering thoughts dwelling within the Holy Shroud ascended into a fairy. Assists so that no blind spots exist.
“Bombardment Fairy?”
I scratched my head, wondering what that was supposed to mean, when a new translucent window suddenly appeared in front of my eyes.
The Bombardment Fairy is flustered by the current situation.
The Bombardment Fairy has discovered its new Master.
The Bombardment Fairy, traumatized from being beaten like a dog, offers a groveling greeting.
The Bombardment Fairy feels discomfort at the fact that its means of expression are not smooth.
So this was the Bombardment Fairy, apparently.
“Isn’t this just spam mail?”
No matter how I looked at it, it didn’t seem like it would help me at all. Wouldn’t it just block my vision in a fight?