The Most Expensive Meat Shield
The thought of shaking down someone else's precious pushover... no, their heir, made my head throb. The headache was so heavy that simply calling it a migraine felt like an understatement.
I leaned back in my chair and stared into empty space.
It was too contrived. No matter who looked at it, this group assignment was blatantly artificial, impossible to dismiss as mere coincidence.
Out of all these students, what were the odds that these exact four people would be precisely selected and lumped into one team?
The only thought that came to mind was that someone had clearly intervened.
I pressed my fingers firmly against my temples and pondered.
It was statistically absurd.
That absurdity filled me with irritation and a deep sense of unease.
Why does everything keep veering off the story I knew and heading straight into the mountains?
No matter how much I rummaged through my memories, there had never been any mention of a large-scale joint dungeon practicum event targeting first-years at this point in the timeline.
At least, not in my recollection.
Even if such an event had existed before the main story truly began, it would have taken place before the hero's enrollment.
At this moment, the idea that a mere villainous extra like Eros Brioche would end up grouped with the genius knight from the martial arts department, the young lady of House Lethe, and the main heroine was a development that should never have happened.
Just who the hell had done this, and with what intention?
Or perhaps the butterfly effect from me defeating Eisen had finally come into play. That suspicion rose within me.
What truly soured my mood the most was the fact that I was being forcibly dragged into this worthless damn dungeon event.
All I could do was let out a hollow laugh.
The next afternoon, a large table tucked into a corner of the academy's central lounge was occupied by an unusually mismatched group of people.
They were the members of Team 12, forcibly bound together for this joint dungeon practicum.
I pretended to be completely unfazed, resting my chin on my hand with a tired expression as I gazed out the window.
It was simply too stifling.
Eisen Einhardt. He was still staring at me with eyes full of complicated thoughts.
He looked at me, then at Lise.
His gaze seemed to ask what on earth I had done to her.
But perhaps out of pride, he couldn't bring himself to ask directly and only let out awkward coughs.
...Sigh.
I let out a long breath. It was simply incomprehensible.
Why the hell did I have to be stuck in such a tiresome situation?
My instincts were screaming at me.
Someone had orchestrated this. Someone had planned it with me as the target.
If that was the case, then there was surely something in this dungeon practicum that could threaten my life.
I really don't want to do this. It's annoying, exhausting, and dangerous.
As I continued my endless internal grumbling, a crystal-clear answer suddenly struck me.
If I don't want to do it, then I just won't.
And if I can't avoid it...
Then I simply needed to minimize the risks I would have to bear.
That was the moment.
"Ahem."
Eisen cleared his throat to draw attention.
Even in this awkward atmosphere, he was trying to push things forward.
"For now, I believe we should begin discussing the practicum. Since the joint dungeon practicum is an experience close to real combat, we must first decide on a leader to guide the team..."
Even now, he was laying out plans in that deadly serious tone.
I almost wanted to praise his diligence, but...
"For survival, we need to clearly define each person's role and organize our formation. I'll take the vanguard, so Eros Brioche, you should handle the rear..."
"Eisen."
I cut him off mid-sentence, calling his name.
Eisen looked like he wanted to glare at me for interrupting, but he held it back and answered.
"Do you have something to say, Eros Brioche?"
I lowered the hand that had been propping up my chin and lightly tapped my fingers on the table.
"Now that I think about it, we still have some unfinished business, don't we?"
Eisen's brows furrowed, and then his face hardened as if he'd realized something.
I twisted the corner of my mouth into a leisurely smile.
"We should settle our accounts properly. Don't you agree?"
His arrogant declaration that he would grant me anything if I won.
He had been the one to blurt out an unconditional acceptance.
Elteumia widened her eyes and looked back and forth between me and Eisen.
Lise also shrank her shoulders, apparently not expecting me to suddenly bring this up.
Eisen remained silent for a moment before letting out a sigh.
"...You're right. A promise must be kept. I did say I would grant you anything if you won."
He nodded, staring directly at me.
"Speak. What do you want?"
The moment Eisen asked, I slowly turned my gaze toward Lise, who was nervously watching from the corner of the round table.
When my eyes landed on her, she flinched violently and clutched the hem of her clothes with both hands.
I could see her eyes darting around, lost and wandering.
I shifted my gaze to the sword at Lise's waist.
The cheap iron sword issued uniformly by the academy was visible.
Junk.
I looked back at Eisen and let my eyes gleam like a proper villain, revealing my truly wicked intentions.
Nothing tastes better than outfitting yourself with someone else's money.
Since going to the dungeon practicum was now set in stone and unavoidable, and since I was fundamentally a mage who needed to avoid close combat, I obviously required a sturdy meat shield... no, a reliable escort. And that role naturally fell to Lise.
Yet her equipment was nothing more than the academy-issued standard iron sword.
No matter how outstanding her talent was, it hadn't fully bloomed yet.
In that case, wouldn't improving her equipment at least help guarantee my safety?
Raising Lise's equipment specs to secure my own safety.
That was the solution I had arrived at for dealing with this annoyance.
And conveniently sitting right in front of me was the heir to the Einhardt family, which possessed the highest quality and most expensive weapons in the empire. A great many of them. An absurd number, in fact.
My wallet... no, my pushover... no, my benefactor was sitting right there.
Looking at Eisen's puzzled face as he stared at me, I asked.
"I hear the Einhardt family collects incredibly expensive famous swords."
"Of course. Our family's blacksmithing techniques are the finest in the empire, and we take pride in the fact that the armory's weapons are also the best in the empire. But why are you suddenly asking about..."
Eisen narrowed his eyes in confusion and asked back.
He wouldn't understand.
No matter how many times I'd beaten him with a staff, this would still make no sense to him.
His eyes were filled with fear about what kind of scheme I might be cooking up this time.
Ignoring his wariness, I spoke in a languid voice.
"Let's have a look at those so-called finest weapons in the empire."
"...?"
"And then give Lise one very good and very expensive sword."
For a moment, silence fell as if time had stopped.
Even Elteumia stared at me with a dazed expression.
Lise's eyes widened in disbelief, her pupils shaking violently.
Eisen also looked utterly flustered, as if my demand had left him speechless.
"Lise... You're talking about Lise's sword?"
"Yes. That's correct."
I casually crossed my legs and leaned back.
I gave him a sidelong glance, my eyes clearly saying, You got a problem with that?
"Why? Is it too precious to give away? Weren't those the weapons of the Einhardt family that you were bragging about so much?"
"..."
"Surely you wouldn't hand over some mediocre blade, right?"
I provoked him openly. The implication of You wouldn't dare give her junk, would you? must have hit home, because Eisen's face turned red.
He seemed to feel that his family had been insulted and raised his voice.
"Watch your tongue! Even if we gave you the lowest-valued item, it would still be a weapon from the Einhardt family! We would never...! Never provide a low-quality weapon!"
"So you're saying you'll give one."
"...!"
"That's reassuring. I can look forward to seeing just how impressive a weapon it'll be."
"..."
Eisen seemed to realize belatedly that I'd been baiting him and clenched his teeth.
Well, what could he do? This was all his own doing.
In the end, he swallowed his pride and nodded.
"...Understood. I will definitely provide an excellent weapon."
"As expected! Truly befitting the empire's greatest knightly house. How generous."
This time, I genuinely meant the compliment.
But he responded with a look of pure contempt.
How ungrateful.
At that moment, I noticed Elteumia across from me staring at me with wide eyes.
Her gaze was filled with confusion.
She fidgeted with her lips as if she wanted to ask something, but in the end she said nothing and simply lowered her head.
"Well then, since we've settled our accounts, let's wrap up this meeting here."
With my primary objective achieved, I rose from my seat without hesitation.
Eisen was still rubbing his chin with a sour expression, while Elteumia had turned her head away.
I gave them a faint smile and walked away.
As I stepped into the corridor, a cool breeze brushed against my cheek.
I walked down the hallway. As always, Lise's footsteps followed at a steady pace behind me.
It was the same as usual. Yet the gaze I felt on my back was strangely unsettling.
It would have been easier if she had said something, but the way she simply followed in silence was incredibly irritating.
Why is she acting like this?
It happened just as we passed the building and entered the quiet path leading to the dormitory.
The sound of Lise's footsteps behind me suddenly stopped.
Curious, I turned to look at her and saw her standing still, staring down at the ground.
In the glow of the crimson evening sunset, her ash-gray hair swayed gently in the breeze.
"Why are you standing there? Come on."
I asked dryly. But Lise didn't answer.
She hesitated, clutching the hem of her skirt with both hands.
Slowly, she lifted her head to look at me.
"Why..."
"What?"
"Why... did you accept a sword for me?"
Her voice trembled. Why?
I couldn't understand why her voice sounded so watery.
"If that's what you intended... shouldn't you have received a staff for your own use, Master?"
"Are you stupid?"
The words slipped out before I could stop them. It was my honest thought.
Someone was offering to upgrade her equipment, and she was asking why?
It really made her seem like an idiot.
"Just shut up and take it when it's given."
Lise's eyes widened into perfect circles. I could see her lips quivering.
"...Yes."
I wanted to tell her that I was strong enough without any of that.
But when I saw her face, I simply couldn't bring myself to say it.