Chapter 12
Chapter 12
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Translator: True Detective
Chapter: 1
Chapter Title: I'm Not a Cuckold
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Police swarmed in droves, searching for someone.
And that someone was, of course, me.
"Excuse me... Why are you blocking the homeowner from entering his own house...?"
"......Pardon?"
"Huh?"
"Th-there he is!"
"The sketch provided by the client... er, I mean, a 'concerned citizen' matches you exactly!"
I had a pretty good idea who was behind this.
The kind of woman who could hire the people's guardians—the police—like they were private detectives.
In my circle, there'd only ever been one person capable of that.
Lee Seolgi... I told you not to pull this kind of stunt anymore...
The culprit hailed from Korea's premier hunter family.
Lee Seolgi, the late-born daughter of the Supreme Lee Clan and one of the family's next-gen heirs.
She'd carried those terrifying titles since childhood, which kept everyone at arm's length like an invisible wall—no friends ever approached her first.
At the same time, she ended up as my one and only friend, tangled with a second-life orphan like me who had nothing to lose.
"You... hanging around with me could get you in real trouble..."
"Oh, that? Don't worry. Our director will handle it."
"...What?"
A kid with no parents, so no friends.
A kid whose parents were too big a deal, so no friends.
Opposites attract, I guess.
Surprisingly, Seolgi and I hit it off fast.
Plus, she was one of the few who'd witnessed my hunter awakening signs up close.
Back then, they called it amazing genes, the ultimate seed—stuff I figured we'd naturally drift apart from by middle or high school.
But by some wild coincidence, we kept getting assigned to the same school, same class, same desk.
And just like that, we maintained our childhood friend status, seeing each other regularly even now.
Though these days, it's hard to tell if she sees me as a friend or just a convenient guy...
Anyway.
Maybe it stemmed from her kindergarten trauma of having only me as a friend.
Every now and then, she'd pull this exact move.
If I ghosted without a word—phone off, or off on a spur-of-the-moment trip—she'd mobilize the cops and turn me into a missing person case.
And it wasn't just finding me that was a headache; it never ended there.
"Your name is Kim Yongchan, correct?"
"Yes. That's me."
"You're even more handsome in person than in the photo."
"Ahem! Tell me about it... Looks like he's packing down there too. You'd make a fine son-in-law! Hahaha!"
Let me say it again: this world had subtly low standards for men's rights.
Dick size jokes, "looks like he'd be great on top"—that kind of sex talk was rampant among the aunties.
Cops were no exception.
Just like that, the officers naturally tried loading me into the patrol car.
"Alright, first stop: medical checkup."
"Another sudden health exam?"
"You were reported missing, so we have to check your condition. Right?"
"Can't have you whipping it out here, single guy. Hahaha!"
"If stripping fully embarrasses you, we'll get male nurses in there. No need to worry."
Bullshit.
Every damn time they dragged me in, it wasn't male nurses—it was female doctors.
They claimed it was for better care, but whenever I started undressing, they'd rotate staff every thirty minutes with "bathroom breaks."
Long story short, that place was no saner than anywhere else.
"No, really, it's fine! I'll call your boss! Just wait a sec!"
"Aw, come on, kid. Just hop in~."
"Yeah, kid. Good men listen to women. And we're not 'employed' here. Heh heh. You think public authority moves on a whim?"
"Okay, okay, I get it. Just one phone call? Please?!"
I'd already sent the message.
What the hell are you doing in front of my house again?
Stop this before they make me get a full semen analysis!
"Man, how's this guy so strong...?"
"Two or three of us should shove him right in!"
"Nngh...!!"
This was an awakened hunter's body.
Normally, shaking off regular cops like these should've been a breeze.
But with two or three clinging on, I got shoved back and half-forced into the patrol car's rear seat.
That's when it hit me.
Thinking back, my current stats—everything except magic power—were at 0.1.
If it'd been even 1, no problem.
Without my suit, I was just dead weight with killer magic power.
"Hey, got him in! Lock the back door quick!"
"Aw, kid! If you don't listen, how'll you ever get a wife?"
"Kid, no matter how tasty you look, ignoring us like this means trouble in the bedroom later~."
"Hahaha!"
"Hehehe!"
The cop aunties were having a blast, for real.
God, I really didn't want this health check.
Third one this year already.
And it was barely April.
Resigned to the ball-squeezing fate, I pulled out my phone.
Naturally, to call Seolgi directly.
"She saw the message—why no reply?"
But.
Beep. Beep. Beep.
"...Huh?"
I'd definitely hit call.
"No signal...?"
Weird.
I was smack in central Seoul, but my phone showed zero bars.
Shaking it around in the back seat changed nothing—still zero.
"Broken?"
Makes sense; it might've busted rolling around in the dungeon.
Assuming that, I pocketed my busted phone and asked to borrow one from the cop up front.
"Um... my phone seems dead. Could I borrow yours?"
"Oh? Sure thing. Here."
"Thanks."
True to their role as the people's shield, they handed it over when a citizen was in need.
But this phone was weird too.
"Huh? This one's at zero bars too?"
"What? No way."
"Didn't you get that phone last month, senior?"
"Yeah, brand new. What's up with this?"
"See? Told you to get an Apple. Who uses Android anymore?"
"Shut it! Women use Android! ...Anyway, why's it busted?"
Two phones crapping out at once?
...Impossible.
My phone wasn't fully dead—just no signal; everything else worked fine.
Meaning the issue wasn't internal; it was external.
"...Sir! Static... Sen... Static... Sir!"
Right then, a frantic voice crackled over the patrol car's radio.
"...Hunter! Static... Hunter! Static..."
"What the hell? Who's that?"
"Signal issues? Radio's acting up."
"Yeah. What the heck is..."
What the heck was going on?
Chaos built inside the patrol car.
Then.
Vrrr.
"?!"
"What is that...?"
"A black portal?"
We saw it.
A strange electronic hum from thin air, and suddenly—a swirling gateway identical to a dungeon portal.
Except dungeon portals were blue; this one pulsed an ominous black.
Thanks to high school crash courses, I knew exactly what it was.
"Reverse!"
"Huh?"
"What'd you say, kid?"
"Reverse! That's a Black Portal! The kind that spawns when monsters invade the surface!"
"Wh-what?"
My warning barely out.
"Grrrrr..."
"?!"
"Eek?!"
From the black portal slithered a long maw—crocodile-like, with four eyes.
"Alligator Warrior...!"
"Al-li... what?"
"Monster from dungeon level 9. Eats Orc Wives for breakfast. Minimum five meters tall, bipedal."
House-sized tits jiggling like its house-sized body, it fully emerged before our patrol car.
Slitted reptilian pupils scanned around; drool the size of my head dripped from jagged teeth.
"Duck! Quick!"
"We'll get spotted!"
The two cops inside killed the engine and crouched low.
Wrong move.
"Turn it back on! Reverse and flee!"
"Huh? Why?"
"It's a reptile-type monster. Hiding won't work—it'll sense our infrared heat and pinpoint us!"
"Wh-what?!"
"S-senior, what now?!"
"Calm down! No wimping out—move fast!"
The engine roared back to life on my advice.
Hellish screams echoed from the chaos around us as we tried peeling out.
I needed empty space to suit up too.
Time for 'strategic retreat.'
But.
Thud-thud-thud!
"Wh-what?"
"Why's it coming this way?"
"Can't go faster?"
"Reverse gear's maxed! It's catching up!"
The Alligator Warrior had spawned right in front of my villa, surrounded by cop cars dispatched for me.
Sirens blared everywhere; plenty else to aggro without us.
Yet it ignored the shooting female cops and locked onto our car.
Grrrrrind...!
Ripped the roof off, turning state property into a convertible.
"Grrrrr..."
"Eek?!"
"Whoooaaa!"
"You bastard..."
Why was it staring right at me?
The Alligator Warrior hoisted the car up to her massive leather cleavage, eyes locking with mine.
Then, in those slitted pupils, I saw it.
The chilling beast eyes morph into even creepier heart-shaped ones.
Drool...
"Did that thing just... leak something?"
"Drool?"
"Uh... but can drool come from down there?"