My Instincts Were Screaming
People have an instinctive sense for detecting crisis. Back when I was even younger than now, on late nights when I had no choice but to cut through alleyways, I possessed the ability to detect an unknown presence lurking there with uncertain probability and quickly dash away without drawing attention. Right now, that very ability was sounding the alarm inside me.
'It's a delinquent...!'
As I stood frozen, unable to speak, she furrowed one eyebrow and spoke again.
"What? Is this your room?"
I snapped back to my senses and answered.
"Ah, y-yes. It is, but..."
Ugh, why did I keep speaking formally? The instinct engraved in my DNA was making my body shrink like a wild animal trembling before a predator. It was not intentional.
"Really? Did you lock the door?"
"I-I did lock it. Didn't you receive the key?"
"Key? Who would give me that?"
"You have to get it from the dorm supervisor teacher...."
When I answered as kindly as possible while trembling, she frowned slightly.
"Hmm.... That's annoying. I'll have to go tomorrow. Anyway, so we're roommates?"
"Gulp."
"...What?"
"N-n-n-nice to meet you. L-l-let's get along?"
I felt like my body kept escaping my control, like a frog standing before a snake. No, I didn't need to be this scared. Judging her as a delinquent just from her appearance was prejudice. Besides, sharing a room with me meant she was a freshman.... Teacher Hye-jin had definitely said the entire first floor of the dormitory was for first-years. So that meant we were the same age. I needed to stop the formal speech and switch to casual quickly....
"Really? Nice to meet you too."
Even after I had blurted out something stupid, she smiled instead of getting angry or questioning me.
S-see? She was quite kind. Hoo, let's calm down and greet her casually and friendly again....
"Do you smoke too?"
Please save me.
"N-n-n-n-no, I don't."
"Hmm. That's what I thought. I'm stepping out for a bit. Don't lock the door—leave it open."
Wait. "That's what I thought"—what did that mean? Well, it wasn't good to look like a smoker, but the nuance felt slightly off. More than that, this was definitely... that, right? She was going to smoke, wasn't she?
I briefly recalled the smokers I had seen while walking down the street. Smoking anywhere, spitting phlegm, discarding butts.... Not everyone was like that, but at least the girl in front of me didn't seem to possess the strict legal spirit to dispose of trash in the proper place. If she was going outside the dorm to smoke, then somewhere with few people and not easily noticed.... Ah, the Garden! Could she be planning to smoke in the Garden?
I couldn't allow such a vicious act in the beautiful Garden managed by a kind senior. But I also couldn't lecture a complete stranger I was meeting for the first time, telling her not to smoke or that it wasn't something a student should do. If I said something like that, she might actually hit me....
Perhaps noticing me fidgeting anxiously, she—who had been about to walk away—suddenly spoke.
"...What is it. You have something to say? Why are you squirming around like a dog that needs to take a shit...."
W-what, "needs to take a shit"—why phrase it that way....
Ah, anyway, I couldn't leave her like this. I swallowed hard and summoned my courage.
"F-follow me!"
"Wow, you're a good kid, aren't you?"
The moonlight falling on the tall wall created shadows that half-covered her face. I stared at her subtly smiling face with mixed feelings. How should I put it—she was pretty, but the type I would normally be too scared to approach first....
The place we stood was a spot I had discovered earlier while walking around the dormitory. Before the huge brick wall that led into the Garden, there was a corner that branched off. Out of curiosity I had gone in and found it connected to a small clearing that seemed unused. Aside from abandoned boxes and piles of trash there was nothing, so I hadn't paid it much attention and left immediately. Who would have thought it would be used like this....
Ah, I hoped I hadn't just provided a place for corruption and delinquency?
Whether she knew of my worries or not, she leaned against the wall on the far side of the clearing and began rummaging in her pocket. What her hand pulled out was not a cigarette pack that looked like one from a convenience store, but a plain black paper pack with no patterns.
She opened the paper pack, took out a cigarette, transferred it to her left index and middle fingers with the natural motion of someone who had done it many times, stuck it in her mouth, and lit her lighter.
"Huu."
With a deep breath, smoke billowed upward into the sky.
Certainly, it was better to handle it in an empty lot where no one came than to risk getting caught by someone somewhere in the dormitory.... Or was it? Should I have left it alone and secretly reported her to the dorm supervisor for the punishment of justice? But she was also my roommate.... Uuu, I didn't know. The water had already been spilled.
The fragrant grape scent layered over the acrid smell drifted over. Even though I stood at a distance, some of the smoke seemed to have traveled this far. Well, I was used to the smell of cigarettes because my aunt smoked them all the time.... Still, as a student, I couldn't help feeling this shouldn't be done....
By the way, what kind of cigarettes were those? Could they be handmade? I thought I had heard such things existed.
"Curious?"
Noticing my gaze, she—who had been staring at the smoke rising into the sky with a dreamy expression—spoke.
"Wanna try one?"
"N-no. I'm sorry."
"...? Pffft, pffuhuhup."
She suddenly let out a sound like air leaking and laughed, lowering her head and gasping for breath.
No, there was no need to mock me that much.... Of course I found myself pathetic too.... But what could I do when my body automatically forced me to apologize first?
"Huu."
After laughing as if she had choked for several seconds, she regulated her breathing a few times and raised her head again.
"What's your name? I'm Jeong-a. Yoon Jeong-a."
"Ah, I'm Baek Seol. Surname Baek, given name Seol."
"Wow, like Snow White?"
"Hahaha...."
The senior had reacted differently earlier, but this was the usual response.... The past sixteen years of my life being called a princess flashed past like a panorama....
"What class are you in? I'm in B Class."
"I'm in A Class."
"Hmm—. Not the same class? Too bad. Still, we're next door to each other."
Instead of replying, I simply gave an awkward smile.
From our conversation so far, she didn't seem as bad-tempered or reckless as I had imagined.... But she still smoked. A student who smoked.... It was fortunate we were in different classes at least....
"There was an animal-raising area in the back, have you seen it?"
"Ah, yes."
"There were a lot of animals that looked like you."
"...?"
After suddenly uttering something incomprehensible, she tapped the finished cigarette—only the butt remained—then put it straight back into the pack she had taken out.
Huk. She didn't throw the butt on the ground. Maybe she was a kinder friend than I thought....
"Anyway, thanks. I'll make good use of it from now on. I'll go after getting the smell off me, so for today leave the door unlocked and open? I'll get the key tomorrow."
"Ah, yes...."
She plopped down on the ground, took out her phone, and soon began focusing on the screen as if she had forgotten my existence.
Hmm, this probably meant I should leave first, right? She wouldn't get angry later asking why I left first, right?
I slowly backed away, watching her, and when there was no reaction I turned and quickly distanced myself from the clearing with brisk steps.
On the way back to the dormitory, I mulled over what she had said earlier.
Hmm, what animals had been there? I had gone with quite high expectations after hearing from Teacher Hye-jin, but the scale hadn't been that large. There were only a few chickens compared to the size of the enclosure, a few rabbits inside wire cages.... And one free-roaming black cat that seemed to be staying temporarily rather than being raised. What was supposed to resemble me....
'...The rabbit?'
I decided to simply empty my mind. I suddenly felt extremely tired....
After returning to the room, roughly washing up, pulling out the folded blanket and pillow, and lying on the bed (I left the door open after washing), I soon surrendered to the oncoming wave of sleepiness and closed my eyes.
It really had been a day full of many things. The senior I met first had been incredibly kind. My roommate didn't seem like such a bad friend either. Though she definitely had some delinquent-like aspects.... If I lived as quietly as a dead mouse, maybe she would at least spare my life.
The important thing was the academy life that would begin tomorrow.... Would I be able to make friends.... No, there was no rule saying I absolutely had to make friends.... If I just studied hard by myself....
Even as these various thoughts flashed through my mind, the cool night air steadily helped pull my eyelids downward. Feeling my consciousness gradually sinking into a deep pit, I thought one last thing.
'Come to think of it, did she not bring any luggage...?'
And the world went dark.