Does This Count as Natural Causes?
"Does this count as natural causes?"
Clatter-clatter!!
Gold coins swept in by the armful.
Mountains of gold, fine jewelry fit for royalty, and gemstones lay scattered in every direction. The sheer quantity would not have looked out of place in a kingdom's vault. No — it might have surpassed even that.
A man with a massive axe strapped across his back worked his hands feverishly, shoveling gold coins into his inventory.
Clatter-clatter-clatter!!!
The satisfying rush of gold filling his inventory. He couldn't hide his grin as jewelry and gems claimed slot after slot alongside the coins.
"Hey, weapons! You see any weapons? If we can just grab one dragon weapon…"
"Hold up, sweep the money first. Sell this stuff and it's a total life turnaround. Holy shit!!"
"Oh my fucking god oh my god oh my god."
A single gold coin was worth about forty to fifty thousand won in real money. And here those coins were piled into mountains…
This isn't even about the game anymore.
Sell all of this and the odds of becoming a real-world multi-millionaire were extremely, extremely, extremely high. No — it was guaranteed.
Rich in reality, and strong enough in-game to slap the top rankers across the face.
"Hahahaha!! This is insane! This place is insane! You think you're hogging all this for yourself? No way, not happening."
"Weapons! I'm going for the weapons!"
"Dude. Loot fast and get out. If the dragon wakes up we're fucked."
"Just wait. I've still got plenty of inventory slots left."
Clatter!!
The man let his friends' words go in one ear and out the other, hands never stopping. He'd paid good money for inventory expansion precisely for a moment like this — taking as much as possible was the only right call. Besides, the dragon was still asleep. There was no way a dragon napping so peacefully would wake up over the movements of ants like them.
How much longer did he keep at it? His inventory had filled to about seventy percent when someone urgently tapped his shoulder.
"Hey. Hey…"
"What? Like you said, loot fast and bounce. Looks like there's even better stuff further in."
"That's not what matters right n—"
"Is SwordBird cleaning out the back? He's been singing 'weapons, weapons' since before we got here, so whatever. Leave that side to him and—"
"Hey…!"
"What 'hey'? Just hurry up and loo—"
Grrrrrrr…
Silence.
A deep, resonant dragon's growl rolled through the entire nest. A sensation like his whole body freezing solid seized him, and he turned his head with a creak toward the source of the sound.
Come to think of it, the vault interior seemed oddly brighter…
"Uh…?"
"You've got some nerve, don't you."
The dragon. The nest's master.
The Crimson Dragon's enormous eyes were fixed on the interior of the secret vault.
The man tried to force his unmoving feet into action. He was going to die. He had to run. But ever since that sound, his feet might as well have been glued to the ground.
If I can just get out…! Just get out!
He'd already pocketed a considerable amount of gold. Even this much would let him live in luxury for the rest of his life — he just couldn't get caught. If he escaped, he wouldn't lose the gold!
"What's wrong with your heads?"
"……"
"Drop it and leave now, and I might go easy on you. Maybe you just weren't raised right."
"……"
"You'll suffer a bit, but it's better than dyi—"
"Yajin!"
"Y-yeah?"
"Use it!"
At the man's shout, his companion Yajin pulled out a scroll with trembling hands and tore it open.
Fwoosh!
As the scroll split in half, a mysterious light flared — and the thieves' feet found freedom again.
The dragon's eyes went round. Not so much startled as… puzzled.
That brief gap was all the man needed.
"Run!"
Scroll: Advanced Status Ailment Removal Magic Tome.
Purchased from the "Black Merchant" who occasionally appeared during gameplay — a pricey item worth a full seven gold coins. High-grade strategic material used in top-guild raids. He'd been holding onto it to sell to a major guild for a fortune…
Never thought I'd use it like this!
The man, Yajin, and SwordBird streaked past the dragon at full speed. On the far side of the nest, a Climbing Gallery poster named Haring still lay unconscious, but there was no time to care. A little farther and they'd be free of the nest — free, and rich.
…Or so they believed.
"…Does this count as natural causes?"
Whoosh.
Right up until the dragon came flying at them.
KUUUUUNG!!!
A massive forepaw flattened them flat.
(Photo of a sleeping dragon)
(Photo of a treasure vault piled high with gold coins and jewels)
Spent literal weeks running my ass off trying to find the dragon nest the Climbing Gallery poster was hiding. Finally found it. Absolute hell to track down, and when I get there the Climbing Gallery poster is just passed out in the nest.
(Photo of unconscious Haring)
Looks like she's mid-quest with the dragon. Was kinda pissed she kept it secret for almost a month, but left her alone for now.
Anyway, we're digging through the nest, find the treasure vault, start looting hard — and then holy shit.
(Photo of a dragon eye staring dead ahead)
It suddenly wakes up and just stares at us and I got the creeps so bad. Some dragon fear or whatever kicks in, my feet won't move, so I burn a status ailment scroll just to break free, right?
I swear we made it out of the nest — then the dragon just takes off, dive-bombs us, and wipes me and the others in one hit.
I respawn and it says
You failed to escape the Flame Dragon.
and every single gold coin and item I looted got confiscated. Are you kidding me.
Normally when you steal stuff they leave you at least 30%, right? Full confiscation is complete bullshit.
(Photo of a treasure vault piled high with gold coins and jewels)
Looking at the amount of wealth, whoever gets that is basically locked in for rank 1 and can basically rule like a king.
But no matter how I think about it, I don't see anyone getting past Dragon-ham to walk out with that stuff.
Looking at that size class, most attacks would just bounce off, and one stomp or one breath attack ends it, right?
Even rankers showing up seems impossible.
Hmm…
"Uegh."
"You're awake?"
"…Flame Dragon?"
Some time after the whole mess had settled, I was prodding at the wrecked ground where the mercenaries had been when a presence made me turn my head.
Haring — so thoroughly exhausted she hadn't so much as twitched through all that earlier racket, just kept sleeping — cracked her joints with a pop, pop, stretched, and trotted over toward me.
"What happened? The nest is a total disaster."
"Thieves broke in."
"Huh? Thieves?"
"Yeah. They were looting my treasure vault."
"What absolute lunatics. Daring to rob the Flame Dragon's nest."
Not in their right minds, no. Hmm.
Haring crossed her arms and muttered to herself.
…Though if I remembered right, she'd been the same way at first.
"Weren't you planning to loot it too?"
"Come on. I only came here for your teachings. I was diligently circling the nest earlier, remember?"
"You didn't finish all the laps."
"…A hundred laps is a bit much no matter how you look at it."
"Can't do it, then get out."
"Tch. More importantly, what did the thieves look like?"
"Dressed similar to you. But there was one strange thing."
"What?"
Scritch-scritch…
I crouched down, scraping hard at the floor, then stood back up.
After pinning them under my forepaw, I'd meant to recover every treasure they'd stolen. Fortunately, I'd reclaimed it all without any real damage — but one detail still bothered me.
"There are no corpses."
No bodies. As if they'd simply evaporated.