Did You Trick Me?

Did you trick me?

Status Window.

A word all too familiar from my previous life—one I'd shouted hundreds, thousands of times after reincarnating as a dragon.

And for good reason. Regression, possession, reincarnation. It was common knowledge among common knowledge that anyone who'd undergone the so-called reincarnation trifecta would receive a status window—and I had reincarnated.

But cruelly, over the past three hundred years, the status window had never once shown itself.

Not even once.

"…Y-you… you…"

"L-Lea…?"

"You swindler!!"

Rumble…!!!

The royal castle shook as I unleashed my fury. The maids who'd been eavesdropping on my conversation with my two disciples collapsed in cold sweats, and the knights who came rushing toward the source of the disturbance faltered and fell back.

Haring and Nya-nya trembled violently, bowing their heads over and over.

"I-I'm so sorryyyyy…!"

"Master, please calm down! The castle's going to collapse!"

"…You said there wasn't one."

"W-what?"

You said there was no status window!

When I first met the being called the Goddess fifty years after my reincarnation. When she dropped by my nest day after day as if she had nothing better to do. When that great goddess of this world sprawled on the floor and whined. When she descended in person to commend Bahamart and the other heroes for defeating the Demon King!

That old hag had said it clearly.

There was no such thing as a status window.

And yet…

"Old hag… did you trick me???"

"Uh, uhh…"

"O Fire Dragon! Please, calm yourself…"

"Restrain your wrath!!"

But no. The status window was real.

Right there, plain as day.

"I'm flabbergasted. Extremely flabbergasted…"

As if to mock me, the status window's condition mirrored my mood exactly. Flabbergasted, furious, and wronged. I wanted to march straight over and thrash ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠that old hag right now.

Of course, if I fought her for real I'd lose—but then again, that old hag had never once fought me seriously either.

"Hoo… puha…"

"H-have you calmed down?"

"Um… I bought some tanghulu earlier—maybe eat some and feel better…"

"Sit still."

"Yes'm…"

"Leave those and go."

I snatched the tanghulu from Haring's hands and crunched through them while I thought. I was extremely, extremely angry—but first I needed to use the status window I'd been given to get a handle on the current situation. Meeting the Goddess could wait until after.

Name, race, level, stats…

The basic figures you'd expect on any status window were listed there. Name and race were fine, but… level and stats.

"No idea if these are high."

"Yes'm?"

"Hmm."

Level 300+? and every stat at 99+—so they were probably high. Not that it mattered much. I'd rarely ever felt lacking in raw power either way.

Next…

"What's QP?"

"Yes'm?"

"Dunno…?"

"You don't know?"

"No."

QP—something even heroes from Earth didn't recognize. I wondered if they were lying, but their eyes said otherwise. The ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠status window itself provided the answer.

"Old hag?"

"Huh?"

"Not you two."

"Yes, ma'am."

Haring and Nya-nya read the room and shrank into the corner. I glared at the status window floating in midair.

"I said, is that you, old hag."

"Fine. I won't call you old hag. Are you the Goddess?"

"Answer me."

CRACKLE!!!

Just as I'd done to Haring and Nya-nya, I clenched my fist around empty air, and the status window's message began to warp. The letters twisted and distorted as if the whole panel were crumpling. Had Haring and Nya-nya seen something like this?

I squeezed harder, crushing the blue status window like a wad of paper—but in the end it snapped back to its original form.

"Hmph. So it is divine, then."

Old hag or not, she was still the Goddess. A system built by this world's deity couldn't be completely destroyed.

"Fine. I'll listen."

"…?"

So, to sum it up…

"You finally give me a status window after three hundred years… so I can help the heroes…?"

I trembled.

"L-Lea?"

"All of you, get out. Idiots."

I turned my back on them.

"Lea! I'm sorry! Please!"

"We really just genuinely like you, Lea…"

Haring stared blankly at Lea's firmly shut door. If there was a silver lining, it was that no major damage had been done. There had been no mass executions of the sort Evan had feared, no permanent-ban-level imprisonment like Heurisk's.

But Lea was deeply disappointed in the heroes, and she had shut her door and gone inside. Only a few hours ago she'd been grinning about properly overseeing their training—that face was still vivid.

"…Haa."

"She must be so disappointed…"

"Nya-nya."

"Honestly, I'd feel the same. To Lea, this place is the real world."

Nya-nya slumped against the corridor wall, exhausted. To the heroes—to the players—Frolazia was nothing more than a game. A world perfect for doing bizarre things you couldn't do in real life, for running wild however you pleased. To them this world was mere entertainment. But not to the people who lived here.

To Lea, this was the precious homeland where she'd spent her entire life.

Thinking that, Nya-nya drew her knees up and hung her head.

"And then she finds out the heroes she finally decided to look after actually treat this world as fake…"

"…Yeah. She's got every right to be disappointed."

"Haa… what do we do. At this rate we might never see her again."

"Mmm…"

Haring pondered, then plopped down beside Nya-nya. Even now, while Lea was still cooling off, no maid or knight dared enter her room. But once time passed and her head cleared, Lea would probably say something like:

Throw all the heroes out.

Cast out the heroes who'd dared deceive her and treat her world as fake. Or maybe, out of sheer spite, lock them somewhere they'd never escape. Or even start hunting down the heroes who'd been pestering her…

"Nah, not that."

"Yeah, that was overkill even for me."

Haring nodded at Nya-nya's words. This was Lea—who preferred sitting to standing, and lying down to sitting. Hunting heroes because they annoyed her? Both disciples who'd spent so long at her side found that a serious stretch. Of course, even if she didn't go that far, her attitude toward the heroes would clearly change.

Maybe Evan was right.

Haring tapped her head lightly against the wall as she thought. Evan, who'd fled without a second's hesitation the moment he heard the news. Maybe she should run too, even now, before the anger fully landed—the thought crossed her mind more than once. Miss this window and she might never escape.

But…

"Still. I can't abandon Lea."

"Me neither."

Abandoning Lea was unthinkable for either of them. No matter what, they would earn her forgiveness and live in this world as her disciples.

Nya-nya lifted her head.

"What do you think Lea's doing right now?"

‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠

"…Sleeping?"

"Maybe… or she was cursing out the Goddess pretty hard earlier. Think she's still at it?"

"No way."

"Logout."

"Goddess Consultation."

"Old hag, you're typing these yourself right now, aren't you. Right? Come out now and I'll let it slide."

Whump!

A premium pillow—stitched stitch by painstaking stitch by a master artisan—sliced through the air. It grazed the blue status window floating in empty space and sailed past. I wanted to hit something. I wanted to hit something very, very badly.

But that old hag came down when she felt like it and left when she felt like it. Unless she came to me of her own accord, there was no way for me to go to her.

"…You're really going to play it like that? Keep this up and I might just turn every hero into a Pokémon, you know?"

Think I won't?

I can do all of it. She needed to understand that I was just lazy—not incapable of moving. I could erase every gacha pull she'd carefully summoned into nonexist—

Ding!

"……"

Fine. I'd let it slide since there was a sale.

I scrolled through the QP Shop's endlessly descending list. Not ten or twenty items—easily over a thousand. I had no idea why she hadn't given me this ages ago. If she had, I'd have used it constantly without a dull moment.

"…Is forty thousand points a lot?"

I'd handed out plenty of quests over the years, but I had no sense of whether this number was large. Looking at the Earth trip at the bottom for five million points, though, it probably wasn't that much.

I decided to buy the one thing I was most curious about.

"Yes."

"Let's see what she has to say."

I crossed my arms and glared at the status window in midair. Just try spouting nonsense. Instant Pokémon Go mode.

As I kept my eyes narrowed, sacred energy gathered in the empty air and letters began to etch themselves into being.

You…

"…How thoughtful."