The One Who Only Does Good Things for Me #6
The march began without fail the next day as well.
Those unable to ride with Bella followed at the rear of the column, riding in the baggage carts.
“Then… you’ll be returning to your place, won’t you, Priest?”
“Yes. I must return to where I belong.”
So Emil escorted Bella early that morning to her proper position in the procession. Then, just as he was about to leave—
“Ah, one moment, Bella.”
“Yes? What is it…?”
Away from prying eyes, he kissed her.
“Mmph…! Haah, Priest?”
When their lips parted, Bella stared at him with a face flushed scarlet.
Emil stroked her cheek once and stepped back.
“Until we meet again, Bella.”
“Y-yes…”
“Good. Take care of Lady Daisy for me.”
With that farewell, Emil mounted his horse and rode toward the front of the column.
He scanned the surroundings with sharp eyes.
The soldiers were exhausted, yet beneath that fatigue he sensed an even sharper tension running through the ranks.
It was only natural.
The Ricgard family of Iredain—the great lord of the south—had knelt before the queen. Their vassals therefore had no reason to oppose her, allowing the army to march this far without a single attack.
But they had now reached the limit of Iredain’s influence. From here on, battle could erupt at any moment.
As he pondered this, someone called out from behind him.
“Is that maid the woman who entertained you in your tent last night, Priest?”
“…Roen? You startled me.”
It was Roen.
Emil gave the reins a slight tug in surprise.
Wait—more importantly, what had she just said?
“One moment… Roen, how did you know about that?”
“Were you unaware? By Her Majesty’s command, my personal guards are stationed separately at both Lady Daisy’s tent and yours, Priest.”
When he turned, Roen sat atop her swaying horse with the same calm, expressionless face as always.
“They reported that the maid who left Lady Daisy’s tent last night entered yours and remained there until morning.”
Damn it.
Of course. To the queen, Emil was a vital piece in lifting Leni’s curse.
With nothing to say, Emil closed his mouth and rode on in silence.
Roen drew her horse a little closer.
“If I have offended you, I apologize. It was never my intention to spy on you.”
“Offended? I understand completely.”
Emil shook his head with an awkward smile.
Roen fell quiet for a moment, staring at him intently, then spoke again.
“Priest. May I ask you one question?”
“If it’s something I can answer.”
“I’m not certain you can, but… why do you refuse to touch the princess?”
Emil nearly lost his balance on horseback but quickly steadied himself.
“Suddenly… are we really having this conversation again?”
“It isn’t sudden. I cannot claim you keep women at a distance simply because you are a priest. You have already lain with that maid, and in Iredain you shared a relationship with Lady Kaetly as well.”
Despite the interrogating nature of her words, Roen’s tone remained perfectly flat.
“Yet you show not the slightest interest in the body of the woman who loves you more than anyone else in this world.”
“Roen, if you’re speaking of the princess—you know the answer. She is precious to me, yes, but I have never thought of her in that way…”
“Then begin thinking of her that way now.”
Roen cut him off cleanly.
“You still treat her like a child, but the princess is already an adult. And she loves you. Is it not too cruel to ignore those feelings?”
Her words unsettled Emil.
Of course he knew how Leni felt. She had shown it so openly; only a fool could have missed it.
But Leni’s existence was special to him.
For the first time, he had someone more precious than anything else.
Someone he would give his life to protect.
And precisely because she was that precious, Emil found it impossible to harbor any deeper desire for her.
Becoming lovers with that child… I can’t even imagine it. It’s impossible.
Yet to Emil, sex was nothing more or less than an outlet for pleasure.
And Leni was unmistakably more than that to him.
“Roen, this sort of talk…”
“Then what about me?”
When Emil tried to evade the subject, Roen leaned toward him from her horse.
Her eyes glittered.
“If you cannot view the princess as a sexual being, how do you see me? I also hold feelings of attraction toward you, Priest. Should you desire a physical relationship, I would accept it without hesitation. Besides, I am still a virgin.”
Emil had been ready to brush it off as a joke, but her final words left him speechless.
Roen continued without the slightest blush, maintaining her usual composed demeanor.
“Moreover, as I intend to live and die as a knight, I have no plans to marry. There is no need to treasure my virginity. Do you have no use for my body?”
“What…”
Emil could not finish the sentence.
It was sudden. Absurd.
Yet Roen continued as though reading from a meticulously prepared report—expressionless, unwavering.
“If the only reason you hesitate is fear that it would tarnish the ‘purity’ of your feelings for the princess, is that not mere self-satisfaction on your part?”
“…”
“You know what it means to embrace someone with your body. If you cannot share that with the princess, should you not at least resolve it in another way?”
“Roen, enough.”
“Why? Because the words are unpleasant to hear? Or because your heart is wavering?”
Her voice was calm.
But to Emil it felt like a blade—like the sword at her waist that could slice flesh with the slightest movement.
“Perhaps you can lie with a maid you may handle freely, but you cannot do the same with me, an awkward and difficult counterpart?”
At those words, Emil froze.
“I…”
He let out a long breath.
No answer seemed appropriate. Every reply felt false. Every silence felt like cowardice.
Roen said nothing more.
Only the hand gripping her reins trembled faintly.
After a long silence, Emil finally spoke.
“Roen… I don’t know.”
“I see.”
Roen nodded.
Only then did a faint trace of desolation flicker through her voice.
“It’s all right. That can happen.”
Roen remained at his side.
Her profile looked perfectly composed, yet her knuckles had turned white from how tightly she gripped the reins.
“…I apologize for saying such strange things.”
Her voice had sunk even lower.
“I will speak no more of this. If I have displeased you, I apologize.”
“I wasn’t displeased.”
Emil answered quietly.
“Only… it occurred to me that I may be someone who hurts far more people than I realized.”
“Perhaps.”
Roen, who he expected to say more, simply closed her mouth.
She turned her horse and slowly fell back.
“…”
Emil watched her receding figure for a moment, then deliberately looked away.
A small whirlwind of dust swirled between them.
And once again, the march continued in silence.
Why won’t you touch the princess?
Isn’t it too pitiful to ignore her feelings?
In the end, aren’t you only sleeping with women you can control?
Emil had no answer.
Because he knew better than anyone how cowardly he had been—how he had used their feelings for his own ends.
“Huu…”
As he rode with those thoughts weighing on him, a familiar figure appeared in his vision.
She was watching him from afar.
Behind a flag flapping in the wind, atop a horse, her small, youthful body swayed unsteadily.
Leni.
Emil smiled and waved. Leni smiled back in return.
That knight is to my liking.
Pidea’s voice suddenly spoke in his mind.
When he turned, she was floating through the air beside his galloping horse, keeping pace effortlessly.
Though startled by her sudden appearance, Emil replied in a slightly uncomfortable tone.
“To your liking? What do you mean by that?”
Exactly what I said. Fool Emil.
She giggled.
Then tilted her head this way and that.
That knight—Roen, was it? She spoke as though it meant nothing, as though she were interrogating you… yet she must be the one in the most pain.
“Is that so? I wouldn’t know. Still, it’s the first time I’ve heard you speak of someone that way. I expected something like ‘damn wench,’ the way you talk about Leni.”
At that, Pidea gave a strangely sad smile.
That’s because I’m the same as her. So I suppose I can’t bring myself to mock her.
* * *
Roen, having turned her horse, slowly made her way toward the queen’s position. With every hoofbeat against the earth, it felt as though something inside her was crumbling.
When she lifted her gaze, the sky was still high and blue. When she breathed in, the cold dawn air filled her lungs.
Yet strangely, she could not shake the feeling that this vivid world was growing distant from her.
I am still a virgin.
Those words had cost her every ounce of pride she possessed.
She had spoken them with a casual air, but the truth was that from the moment she received the report about Daisy’s maid leaving the tent, her mind had been in chaos.
The priest Emil had given no answer.
Yet that silence had cut her more deeply than any words could have.
“…Ha.”
She raised a hand and lightly rubbed her lips.
A laugh escaped her.
This was no laughing matter.
Even knowing that, the laughter came anyway.
I suppose I’m not needed—not even as much as that maid. Less than the lowly servant brought from Iredain to warm his bed for a single night.
Roen lowered her head in silence. Then, very quietly, she whispered to herself.
“I am Roen Bloodfire, a lowly bastard born of noble blood, and a knight of the honorable queen.”
When she raised her head again, her expression was no different from usual.