I Became a Priest Impostor (5): A Church I Never Asked For
"Thank you."
I bowed my head calmly. Turning the offer down with some excuse about not needing it would only give them a reason to get suspicious. They weren't going to find luggage that didn't exist anyway, so for now it was better to simply accept the kindness as it came. It wasn't a bad call — the lord looked quite pleased.
"Come to think of it, it's lunchtime. Have you eaten?"
He said this after showing up at lunchtime. Of course I hadn't, and he almost certainly knew that. There was only one thing to say here.
"Goodness, it's already lunch. No wonder I was feeling a bit peckish."
"Perfect timing, then. Our estate chef should be preparing a meal around now. Shall we? It's a short ride by carriage."
Honestly, that sounded like a lot. Fortunately, Margaret jumped in at just the right moment.
"Just go to a place nearby. Patients could show up any minute — how long do you think a trip to the estate would take?"
"A round trip wouldn't even take forty minutes..."
"Eat, digest, ride the carriage there and back — that's two hours gone, easy! Just eat somewhere close!"
"Very well..."
The lord nodded, looking thoroughly cowed. He seemed disappointed, but he clearly already knew there was no talking Margaret out of something once she'd dug in.
For the restaurant owner who suddenly found himself hosting the lord, though, it must have felt like a bolt from the blue. And sure enough — the moment the lord stepped inside, the owner's face went white as a sheet. Margaret shook her head and started scolding him, which by this point wasn't even surprising.
"You ought to just wear a mask when you go out. Look at them — they're terrified."
"Come now, what's so wrong with my face? They're just startled because the lord showed up, that's all."
"You really think that's it? Plawi, you tell him."
The arrow suddenly swung my way.
"That's a rather difficult question, I'm afraid."
"See?"
"..."
I'd dodged the question, but anyone with half a brain could read between the lines.
He seems like a decent lord, all things considered.
It was just that his face ate every last one of his good points alive.
Well. Everyone has at least one flaw.
Meanwhile, Priestess Margaret sat down like she owned the place and placed an order.
"Innkeep, three of the usual."
"P-Priestess Margaret. The same for all three of you?"
"What, does this place have anything else on the menu?"
"...I'll have it right out."
The owner fled into the kitchen like he was running for his life. Watching this, the lord made a face of pure disgust.
"Don't tell me it's that dish again, Priestess Margaret."
From a noble's perspective, I supposed the food ordinary townsfolk ate was something he'd rather avoid.
At least his face is earning its keep.
That assessment vanished the instant the food arrived. No — I actually understood him completely.
Yeah. The lord had every right to look horrified.
What came out looked an awful lot like pig slop. And it wasn't far off, either. At least, that's what the people on the gallery had to say.
So it's technically edible, at least.
Not that I wanted to eat it. I was poking through the bowl in quiet despair when I spotted a sizable chunk of meat in the stew and perked right up. It wasn't the meat I was happy about. I'd just found myself an excuse.
"I'm terribly sorry. I don't eat meat, so I'm afraid I won't be able to have this stew."
"Does the Church of the Flower Goddess forbid eating meat?"
"It's simply a personal choice. I don't eat meat."
"That's a hard way to live. No wonder you're skin and bones."
Margaret clicked her tongue and ordered some bread instead. It had clearly been sitting around a while — the loaf came out hard and dry — but it still beat eating a pot of mystery slop that had been boiling for years.
"Ah, Priestess Margaret."
"What now."
"The truth is, I don't eat meat either..."
"Don't give me that bullshit."
"Yes, ma'am."
The lord kept glancing enviously at my bread, then finally scooped up a spoonful of stew. But his expression eased almost immediately. Apparently the taste itself wasn't as monstrous as it looked.
Well, if it's been simmering that long, the hygiene is anyone's guess — but the umami is probably fantastic.
Not that I wanted it anywhere near my mouth.
"Ah, Priest Plawi."
The lord, a few spoonfuls into his stew, suddenly spoke up.
"About building the church. Do you have a preferred site?"
Come to think of it, he had mentioned building a church when we first met. I'd been too lost in other thoughts to really listen, but any ordinary priest would have thrown their arms wide open at an offer like that. This, however, was the kind of gift that would give you a stomachache the moment you swallowed it, so I shook my head and declined.
"A church won't be necessary. A modest statue of the Goddess somewhere in the city would be more than enough."
That should have been a perfectly appropriate answer for a priest. The lord, however, looked thoroughly unsatisfied.
"Just a statue? You'll need a place to stay as well, won't you?"
And it wasn't just the lord pushing back. Margaret set down her spoon like she couldn't believe what she was hearing.
"Someone's offering to build you a church for free. Take it. What's with all the damn refusing?"
Honestly, Margaret's reaction caught me off guard. This city was, after all, firmly the Earth Goddess's turf.
"Wouldn't the Earth Church find it inconvenient if another faith started putting down roots in the city?"
"Don't worry about it."
Margaret scooped up another spoonful of stew like it was nothing.
"On our end, everything except operating costs and priest salaries goes straight to headquarters anyway. Even if donations drop, headquarters will make up the difference. We don't lose a thing."
"I see."
This wasn't a church so much as a cathedral. The lord lit up at Margaret's unexpected support.
"Exactly. And Priest Plawi! The Earth Goddess and the Flower Goddess are mother and daughter, are they not? The Earth Church folk will be delighted to have a Flower Church here."
Well-versed in theology, too. You wouldn't guess it from that face.
In the end, I had no choice but to wave the white flag. Keeping up the refusal at this point would have looked stranger than accepting. And if friction with the Earth Church — my biggest concern — wasn't even on the table, there was no reason to keep digging in my heels.
"In that case, I gratefully accept."
"A wonderful decision!"
A smile bloomed across the lord's face. The stew he'd been choking down a moment ago must have suddenly tasted like honey, because he picked up the whole bowl and drained it.
A church, huh.
I'd been planning to quietly attach myself to the Earth Church once I finished studying theology. Things were taking a rather unusual turn.
It shouldn't be a problem. The townsfolk aren't going to abandon the Earth Church they already know just to come to mine.
But at the time, I had no idea just how naive that thought really was.
The lord said he had a backlog of work waiting and headed back as soon as the meal was over. After seeing him off and returning to the clinic, Margaret waved me away as well.
"You head on back, too."
"Are you sure?"
"Word that the lord stopped by has already spread. Nobody's coming in today. And if an emergency does show up, I'll be here."
She thought for a moment, then added,
"Still, tell me where your inn is before you go. Just in case."
"Of course."
I put on a disappointed face, but inwardly I was relieved. There was still a mountain of doctrine and scripture I hadn't memorized. On top of that I still needed to learn the local writing system, so this unexpected free time was more than welcome.
And so I returned to my room at the inn, opened the gallery, and settled in to study.
Knock, knock.
The knocking came from low on the door, so it had to be the innkeeper's little girl. I wasn't wrong. I opened the door and there she was — but the look on her face was not what I'd expected. It was all twisted up, like she was about to burst into tears any second.
"What's the matter?"
I asked, more than a little thrown, and she finally broke down crying as she told me.
"My big brother's hurt. Hic..."
Hmm.
This was a pretty familiar situation. Back in my original world, once the neighbors found out I was a healer, they'd show up at all hours asking me to look at whatever they'd scraped or bruised. Not a memory I was particularly fond of.
"Is he hurt badly?"
I shook off the stray thought and asked how bad it was.
"Yeah... there's a lot of blood. A lot."
Didn't sound like something I could afford to stall on. I let the girl lead the way and hurried to the room where Sean was. But when I actually saw his condition, all I could do was let out a deflated sigh.
The "lot of blood" turned out to be a double nosebleed.
"Wait outside for a bit. I'll take good care of your brother, I promise."
"Okaaay."
I sent the girl out and walked over to Sean.
"Looks like you got in a fight."
"..."
No response. He just sat there with his head down, staring at the floor.
"Your mother would worry if she saw you like this, wouldn't she?"
That finally got Sean to lift his head, however reluctantly. His face was a mess. Blood streamed from both nostrils, and one eye socket had already gone a spectacular shade of purple. Calling it a fight was generous. He'd been on the receiving end of a beating.
"How'd the fight start?"
I figured it'd be some stupid reason kids throw punches over. But what came out of Sean's mouth wasn't what I'd expected.
"That bastard called me a soon-to-be orphan."
"Ah."
"Said since my dad's a mercenary, he's gonna be orc barbecue any day now..."
Yeah. That was worth fighting over.
Even Priestess Margaret would have thrown a punch if she'd heard that. I was at a loss for a moment, then reached toward Sean's face. A warm, brilliant light unfurled from my palm. The nosebleed stopped, and the swollen eye receded almost at once.
"You fought well. Even if you lost."
"...He's a year older than me. If we were the same age, I would've won."
Fair enough. At that age, a year was no small gap. If anything, I was impressed Sean had gone after someone a full year older. Maybe that was why I said something that wasn't like me at all.
"Want me to teach you how to fight?"
Sean thought about it for a second, then asked back,
"But Priest, do you even know how to fight?"
...That one stung more than it had any right to.