So You're the King of the Werewolves?
Blink, blink. Rub, rub.
What is this? Did stress wreck my eyes? He was fairly sure he had just seen something he was never meant to see. Should I put in some eye drops? No. I need an eye doctor. Do I have to wear glasses? Glasses are expensive...
"Wangrang..."
"Yeah?"
At his friend's voice, Na Wangrang slowly rolled one eye open. Dan Chuyeon stood there with a wolf pelt slung over his shoulders and his chest completely bare. Two dainty pink dots offered a shy little greeting.
"Is this a dream? Since when did my friend become a pervert?"
"It's not a dream, so snap out of it."
"How is this not a dream!"
Na Wangrang bellowed and jabbed a finger at the phantom thief reclining with languid ease. The mask's eyebrow twitched.
"Who is that guy! And why do you look like that!"
I did not raise you this way!
"There's a reason. A deep reason I can't talk about."
Dan Chuyeon yanked the wolf mask off his head and flung it. The phantom thief caught it in his mouth. The corner of Na Wangrang's eye spasmed.
"Did he get some kind of leverage on you?"
"It's not that. I just..."
"Haah."
"I got talked into it."
"Talked into what."
What kind of brainwashing gets two people doing wolf cosplay as a matched set?
"He said if I really cared about my friend, I had to try standing in my friend's place..."
"Chuyeon. What kind of bullshit is that."
I'm a werewolf. You turning into a wolf isn't supporting me. It's making fun of me.
"I know. Why did I even do that..."
The crash was creeping in. The mind that had lost its screws was screwing them back into place.
"It's okay. It's not your fault."
Na Wangrang patted Dan Chuyeon's shoulder and found it thicker than most boys their age.
"Thanks, Mama."
"There, there."
Dan Chuyeon buried his face in Na Wangrang's chest, and Na Wangrang, maternal instinct fully engaged, gathered him in.
The spectators each offered a one-line review of the farce.
"What a fucking mess."
"Phantom, clean up the living room this instant, or I will kill you."
"My first real-life otokonoko. As expected, that face didn't take first place in the heroine popularity poll for nothing!"
"Come out. I will kill you."
"Save the wolf phantom thief!"
A few storms tore through the room. Strangely enough, nothing broke.
"Whew."
Having stuffed a creepy middle-aged man into wolf pajamas, the phantom thief felt a gaze turned on him that could have killed.
"A pleasure, Mr. Na Wangrang. Allow me to introduce myself once more. I am Phantom, the phantom thief—Dan Chuyeon's next-door neighbor."
"...Yes. Hello. I'm Na Wangrang."
He said it coldly.
"Would you step out for a moment? I think the house needs cleaning."
"I did go to some trouble imitating a werewolf's way of life. Not to your taste?"
The phantom thief spread his arms.
A taxidermied deer hung on the wall, and a tiger pelt covered the floor. An arrow stand stood where the umbrella stand had been, and an ancient comb-pattern pot sat in place of the television. Tent canvas had replaced the windows, a campfire and a cooking pot the kitchen. The lights had become a chandelier of candles, and an elephant's tusk had punched through the ceiling to make its point.
"...In what world is this a house a werewolf lives in?"
He had never seen one with his own eyes, but he had heard of them, and nothing he had heard included any of this. It was nothing but hostile modern art flung together at random—no intent you could read, no meaning you could guess. To anyone who didn't know better, the piece was simply trash.
"I told you. An imitation."
The phantom thief snapped his fingers. The living room wavered like a mirage. The scene snuffed out the way smoke dies, and the room snapped back to what it had been. The clothes he had dressed his friend in became ordinary clothes again.
Cold sweat broke over Na Wangrang.
What is this guy...
He hadn't noticed a thing. All five senses had been fooled, perfectly. The sixth had fared no better.
"Just... who are you?"
"I told you. Phantom, the phantom thief."
Well. He plainly wasn't following.
"The one who calls himself the helper who revealed your identity to Ookami. Is that easier to understand?"
"...!"
The helper. The very word he had been hearing in the car until a moment ago.
"Don't look at me with such wary eyes. I am on your side. Set your mind at ease."
The phantom thief sidled closer. Na Wangrang clutched Dan Chuyeon to his chest and braced.
"Don't come any closer."
"I won't hurt you."
"If you come closer, I don't know what will happen."
"I am a virtuous phantom thief."
"I'll use violence."
"Your back! Let me see that back!"
"...That's enough of the jokes."
Dan Chuyeon got to his feet and shot the phantom thief a sharp glare.
"Would it kill you to meet someone like a normal person? You're suspicious enough already. Why go looking for trouble?"
"Because that is a phantom thief's destiny. A phantom thief must be an attention-seeker at every hour, wherever he stands."
The phantom thief spun.
"It has simply been a while since I met someone seeing me for the first time, so I did a little self-promotion. A first impression ought to be intense."
"You are intense enough on your own."
Dan Chuyeon soothed Na Wangrang, whose hackles were fully raised.
"Wangrang, calm down. He's a good person. Basically."
"Good? Which part?"
"I don't want to defend him either. But I told you about my secret before, remember? He's the one who saved our family twice in all of that."
"He's that person?"
This is nothing like what I pictured.
"I told you he was an odd one."
"Phantom thieves are all odd. I figured that meant he wasn't a big deal."
That's not odd. That's a lunatic.
"He is crazy, I'll give you that. But he hasn't done a single bad thing, so..."
Dan Chuyeon wore a look of resignation.
"Give up. It gets easier once you give up."
An aura no language could explain hung over the words, and Na Wangrang felt a sympathy he couldn't voice.
"Hmph!"
Basking in what might, question mark included, have been praise, the phantom thief caught a rose between his teeth and lifted his chin.
"Setting that aside, why is someone that impressive here?"
"Because he wanted to meet you."
"Me?"
"Indeed. O king of the werewolves."
The phantom thief thrust himself between the two of them. The wolf mask wrinkled its nose.
"I wished to see you. I have business."
"What business?"
"That, I cannot tell you yet."
And what am I supposed to do with that?
Na Wangrang couldn't get a fix on the phantom thief. Of one thing, though, he was certain. The man's gift for inviting a fist was first-rate.
"If you're not going to say one thing or the other, would you please leave? This is uncomfortable every way I look at it."
"Oh, I'm afraid that won't do."
A slender finger settled atop the phantom thief's head. A clean, cool scent reached Na Wangrang's nose.
"My personal bully has arrived."
"Your eccentricities still exceed all bounds."
Crrrrk.
A sound that should never have been heard came from the finger. Red hair streamed, and for an instant Na Wangrang thought he had gone blind.
Beauty.
An incarnation of beauty stood there.
"It is my identity. If I gave this up, I would no longer be myself."
"There is a realm one enters by breaking the self. You showed me your sincerity, and still you insist it must be this way?"
"Dunno?"
"The fool was I, for trusting you."
Smack, smack, smack!
Dozens of talismans plastered themselves across the phantom thief's body. Arms clamped to his sides and legs pinned together, he hopped about.
"Phantom Sky Pogo!"
Thud.
Pele, stealing snacks in the kitchen, kicked his leg out from under him. The phantom thief planted his head in the floor, and Pele stepped on that head as she walked past.
"No one can match your talent for turning a fine meeting into sewage. The greater fault is mine, for taking my eyes off you a moment."
"Pfft—! Sewage is a little much..."
"Grrrng."
San-gun dismissed the phantom thief's protest and sat down on top of him.
"Couldn't you have come out sooner? I thought I was going to die."
"Blame yourself for dancing to that wretch's words. Mark me—I shall set aside a day and mend that rotten will of yours."
"Eek...!"
Trembling with terror, Dan Chuyeon hid behind Na Wangrang's back.
Na Wangrang could not hide his bewilderment at the people who had appeared all at once.
"Chuyeon, are these the ones you told me about before..."
"Yeah... The people who helped our family, and who fought for the world."
Dan Chuyeon whispered it with only his head poked out.
"Ah—except one of them. We keep that one with us because there's no prison that can hold him."
"R-right..."
Na Wangrang swallowed hard at the splendor of the faces before him. If his friend was telling the truth, then everyone in this room was someone he didn't dare so much as look at. He himself bore the title of king of his people, but was that anything worth holding up to them? To even stand in their company, a title like that seemed like the bare minimum...
Pele peered into Na Wangrang's eyes. He couldn't move, a mouse before a cat.
"Just as the Child of Man said, you were born to fate. At this level, the Earth itself practically shoved you into being king, you know?"
I don't understand a word of this. I am going to stay the fuck still.
"King of wolves, if you only put in the effort, you'll become a fine king all on your own."
"Th-thank you..."
Pele flicked the bridge of his nose and dropped onto the sofa however she pleased.
"Hmm. Not everyone has gathered yet."
Hong Yumin jerked her chin at Na Wangrang.
"King of wolves. Summon your vassal. Be quick."
"Pardon?"
Right now?
"Quickly."
"Yes..."
Na Wangrang tapped at his phone. A message went out to Elder Wildflower.
"Disciple. Have you sent word?"
"They said they'll be here in twenty minutes."
"I see."
Hong Yumin turned an elegant gaze to the sky beyond the window. Na Wangrang still had no idea what any of this was.
"Just wait a little. You'll understand the situation soon enough."
Dan Chuyeon comforted the bewildered Na Wangrang, who sighed and let his back rest against his friend.
The sun was only just climbing to the height of the sky. Na Wangrang prayed the day would end soon.