How Many Pairs of Underwear?

After a stretch of wrangling, Dan Miryu and I managed to reach a dramatic compromise.

It was a seasoned agreement between adults, and even I hadn't known I could close a deal so cleanly.

"Mr. Phantom, are we clear? You are not to leave the others' ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠side. Not for a moment."

"I won't."

"Should you act alone, Master Hong Yumin and Lady Pele will detain you at once, see only to the Shrine's business, and bring you home. We ask that you accept those terms."

"Leave him to me. Try anything stupid and I'll roll him up in a straw mat."

"Babysitting was never written in my fate."

"Krung. Krung."

Pele, Hong Yumin, and San-gun nodded, every face resolute.

"Mr. Dan Miryu, don't you trust me? Didn't the two of us just find a dramatic compromise? This phantom thief does not get petty over a thing like that."

Hanging from the ceiling like a bagworm, I said it with a face every bit as resolute as theirs.

Gazes gone cold and sour gathered on the mask.

"Hand on your heart, and on a phantom thief's honor. Can you truly promise nothing will happen?"

"Haha. Mr. Dan Miryu. I'm no prophet. How would I know? We'll have to go there and find out."

"In other words, you're saying you can't."

"Yep."

"Haa."

Dan Miryu pressed hard at the spot above his lip.

I arranged the mask into the most aggrieved expression it could hold.

"Come on. Japan may not leave me alone. The moment I arrive, what's left of the shrine-maiden faction might come to kill me."

"I've considered that possibility. Even so, Mr. Phantom, I would prefer you stayed out of it."

"Why?"

"Because I don't want you splashed across the Japanese news in print the size of a front gate."

Leave a phantom thief to himself?

He'd throw a celebration with the villains in the middle of the avenue, Tokyo Tower rising behind them. The phantom thief would wheel through the air laughing ha-ha, ho-ho, and the villains would thrash with their eyes rolled white.

"Hee. Heh. Hoo."

Just like the shrine maiden over there, squirming against the wall.

"……But I'd be doing a good deed."

"Japan's affairs can be left to the Shrine. We are guests. If it's the householder's problem, you tell the householder to solve it."

"……Hnn."

"Playing cute won't work either."

Dan Miryu cut it off, flat and final. The edge of it went straight through me.

"I want to sightsee at my leisure too. I want to rest…… It's my first time in Japan……"

"Whining won't get you anywhere."

"Understood. I'll go quietly and come back quietly."

"Good."

The moment I had his firm answer, I came down off the ceiling.

Flop.

"Whew. As expected, Mr. Dan Miryu is no pushover. Finding a compromise was truly difficult."

"Compromise? This guy still hasn't come to his senses. Tie him up."

"Pele, that was bravado. So put the divine fire away. You'll burn the house down. And Miss Hong Yumin, don't come any closer. No—more importantly, since when have you been here?!"

"None of your concern."

Hong Yumin flicked her fingers, and my vision went black.

When I opened my eyes, I was plastered to the ceiling like a spider.

Down below, Dan Miryu was finishing the call with the Shrine Priest on his laptop.

"Mr. Phantom. Tomorrow will do."

"That's soon. I'll have to pack in a hurry. Now, would you untie this?"

"No. Stay right there until seven tomorrow morning."

"What? This is my first trip abroad in ages. Don't I at least get to pack my own bag?"

"About that."

Looking apologetic, Dan Miryu pointed up the stairs.

"Oh, are these the Child of Man's clothes? A guy who never wears anything but suits—why'd he go and buy normal clothes?"

"Pele, there are lotions and creams here too."

"The kid's fussier than I thought. It's all skincare? And the expensive kind, at that."

"Put together, this would come to a few thousand dollars."

"Stuff it all in the suitcase. Throw in a few towels."

"……Mr. Dan Miryu?"

"……I'm sorry."

When I stared at him in dead earnest, Dan Miryu looked profoundly sorry.

"You should have stopped them. My chastity is being torn apart in real time."

"They were so completely unreasonable…… Haha."

Cold sweat beading, Dan Miryu scratched his cheek.

"Haa. So I don't have to worry about the luggage. The room, on the other hand."

"I'll apologize in your place."

"……It's fine."

A room was only a room. If they were enjoying themselves, that was enough.

"How many pairs of underwear?"

"I'll do that myself!"

A man could surrender many things. His underwear was not one of them.

I slipped the bindings and sprinted for the room in a single breath.

San-gun, Pele, Hong Yumin, and Sipsado were gathered there in a little cluster.

"You're here? Not bad, right? I did pretty well."

Pele greeted me with my underwear held up in one hand.

Some nameless shame wrung tight in my chest.

I scanned the room at once.

Fortunately, it was normal. Nothing had been ransacked, and everything sat in neat order.

I swept a quiet hand over my chest. So they did have some common sense.

"……You're already done."

"There was hardly anything in here. Decorate the place and live a little."

Pele jammed the last pair into the suitcase, and with that, the luggage for Japan was packed.

"Ugh. I had expectations, it being your room, but it's so ordinary I was shocked."

"In my own room, at least, I'm a person."

"You mad?"

"I'm not."

"Then we're good."

Pele gave my shoulder a pat.

"Let's go."

"Where?"

"My room."

"……Why?"

"You're not going to help me pack? After I went and packed for you."

My thoughts shot all the way to Hawaii and snapped back.

"Am I allowed to go in?"

"Of course. What's the point of separating men's rooms and women's rooms? In my day it was all one family, one house."

Perhaps because she was a goddess. Pele seemed to draw no line at all between a man's room and a woman's.

"What's there to be embarrassed about, showing someone a room? Get over here, you. We finish quick, then we rest."

"Uh—uh…"

Dazed, I was hauled along by Pele with no way to resist.

"Haa……"

Hong Yumin looked at me with a faintly troubled gaze. Then she fell in step with us.

"This is my room!"

Pele kicked the door open, and beyond it—

"Chirp?"

Birds, and a jungle, were there to welcome us.

"……???"

"Get in. We've got packing to do."

At Pele's insistence I entered the room, and—

I'll begin with the conclusion.

A god was anything but ordinary, starting with her personal space.

I don't believe I have ever grasped a god's majesty more clearly than I did in that moment.

Deep in the night.

After every twist and turn, the packing was finished, and I was on the roof, looking up at the sky.

A dazzling full moon. For something that only shone by reflecting the sun, its light was anything but faint.

"Come out."

Darkness settled over the roof where the moonlight fell bright and clear.

"One step later and I'd have chased you all the way to Japan."

Another One appeared, waving a hand.

"I came out before it came to that."

"Did you? I'm quite overcome by the courtesy."

He took his place beside me, shameless.

"Do you smoke?"

"I don't. This house is nonsmoking, besides. Put the cigarette away."

"Can't very well argue with the master of the house."

"You don't even smoke, so why would you—"

"Was that in the Origin too?"

"I can tell at a ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠glance."

Tsk. He just had to stick a foot out and trip a conversation that was flowing fine.

"For something urgent, you're awfully at ease. When you came proposing a deal, you didn't know what to do with yourself."

"I've done everything I meant to do. Nothing to rush. Take it easy, and the fruit rolls down into your lap on its own."

Another One looked at the moon.

"Still, I'd rather you hurried. I can't stand not knowing what became of me in the Origin."

"Hm."

Another One's darkness heaved, hard.

"Before that, there's one thing I want settled."

"What?"

"The information on the Origin. How did you get it?"

His darkness went out.

"……Forever."

"Forever……"

It wasn't impossible. If it was Forever, then yes—it could well perceive that the Origin existed.

"How much do you know?"

"……As much as anyone else."

"What a relief. Since you don't know a thing."

"Hmph."

Another One let out a low sound.

"Is information about the Origin easy to come by? Lucifer knew of it too."

"You'd know that better than I would. You're from there, aren't you?"

He turned his interest aside as if he truly didn't know.

"Talk any longer and I'll be picked clean."

"Well, you answered in good faith, so I'll throw in a few extras. On the house."

"Obliged."

A brief silence, and then Another One spoke.

"In the Origin, what kind of place was this?"

"A comic I loved to read. It even won a newcomer's prize, in its way."

"Oho……"

Another One's darkness glittered.

"Who was the protagonist? Dan Miryu? Dan Chuyeon?"

"Dan Chuyeon. At the end, he was the fated rival meant to clash with you."

"That child, against me……?"

Another One tilted his head as if the idea would not fit.

"His talent may be among the finest in the universe…… But facing me would be far too much for him…… In the comic, did a hundred years pass, or something?"

"It ends before he comes of age."

"How did the author even keep a thing like that running……"

Of course he couldn't understand. I had fought the man myself, and the weight of that strength had gone black before my eyes. Someone on Dan Chuyeon's level would not even come close.

"The more I hear, the more I want to know my ending. How did I end? Did I die in an ordinary fight? Or did I step back of my own accord?"

"…………"

At that question, innocent and bright with curiosity, I could not open my mouth.

This man. When he learned his own end—how would he react?

He was too strong. Strong past what even the author could bear. Even in Part Three, where the balance of power had already collapsed, the protagonist never reached so much as a mote of him.

When the final battle came, even the readers could not agree on how anyone was meant to beat the final boss. The boss holds back. The protagonist grows like a madman. Forever steps in. Theories of that sort.

A handful of plausible guesses made the rounds. Then, on the day the chapter finally went up, the comments exploded, and the author ate a lifetime of curses.

Because—