Secret (3)
Secret (3)
Clatter— Claire's body, which had tipped backward with a loud clatter, shot upright.
"Pr-Prof-fes-shhh—!!"
Face burning bright red, she tried to call my name but seemed to bite her tongue again, both hands flying up to cover her mouth. Before I could say a word, a soft light emanated from her.
"Ahem."
She reined in the radiance in an instant and let out a small cough, composing her expression as if nothing had happened.
In the span of seconds, she had shown me a whole spectrum of expressions.
A smile crept onto my lips before I could stop it.
The slightest noise sent my head pounding.
My body felt heavy, as if fitted with weighted shackles.
Every breath was like something sharp piercing my lungs.
And yet, her presence affected me more than all of that combined. Enough to let me forget the pain, if only for a moment.
'Is it affecting me too...?'
Claire, with faint blossoms of heat still coloring her lovely face, clearly had no idea what to say. She was simply waiting for me to speak first.
Looking at that face, I felt the corners of my mouth twitch upward—just like when I watched Baek Ha-na after she'd done something foolish and got flustered.
Concrete proof that my emotions had begun to shift.
'...This is unfamiliar.'
I hadn't ruled out the possibility entirely, but I never imagined that the feelings seeping into Void would influence me as well.
A strange sensation lingered—hard to tell if it was the sting of pain or an itch from this unfamiliar change. I pushed it aside and sat up.
"Pr-Professor...."
"I'm fine."
My body had recovered enough that I could walk if I circulated my mana. I would have to endure the accompanying pain, of course.
"More importantly, if it's not too much trouble, could I ask for a cup of coffee?"
"...I shall bring it at once."
Eyes widening, she turned away.
Clunk.
"Ah...."
Her foot caught the leg of the overturned chair, and her body pitched forward.
Whoosh—!!
A faint breeze stirred as Claire's form spun once in the air and landed smoothly beyond the chair.
Swish. Thunk.
She swiftly righted the chair, then strode out of the room at a remarkably brisk pace.
"Hoo."
The moment she was gone, the pain I'd been suppressing began to rage.
'...This is going to take some time.'
A month, if I wanted to resume normal activity.
Two weeks, if I pushed myself a little harder.
'My strength....'
With my body in shambles right now, I couldn't make an accurate assessment. But even after a full recovery, I doubted I would regain my former power.
This flesh of mine is, at its core, founded upon my soul.
The soul that fed it has lost a fragment and grown thinner in the process of filling that void, so it will inevitably affect the body and other aspects as well. Not that it matters. This, too, was within expectations. Besides, this ordeal has given me a certain degree of control over Greed—more than enough to compensate for what has weakened.
'The risk will be considerable, but I can bear it. Above all, I have....'
I raised my head and looked at the door.
Moments later, it opened, and Claire—who had fled from the room earlier—walked back in carrying a tray with a teacup trailing wisps of steam.
"Here it is...."
Without a word, I took the cup she offered and held a sip of the coffee on my tongue. The familiar aroma soothed the dryness in my throat even as my still-recovering insides gave a dull throb.
But only for a moment.
The pain that had started to rage dulled again the instant she reappeared. Truly incomprehensible. A change occurring within my own body, and yet I do not understand it.
'Ridiculous.'
But not an unwelcome sort of ridiculousness.
"You're too far away. Come a little closer."
"...Yes."
She had set her chair several steps away. Carefully, she dragged it over until it was right beside the bed. She adjusted it, though, so that she faced slightly away rather than meeting my eyes directly as before.
"Claire."
"......Yes."
A slightly strained tone.
"The festival is over."
"...Yes, it is."
I heard her swallow. Based on her reaction, she clearly hadn't forgotten what I'd said that day.
"I told you I would give you the answer I'd put off once the festival ended. Didn't I?"
"......Yes."
Her voice quivered.
"Before that, there's something I want you to hear."
"...Something to hear?"
The blue eyes that had been avoiding my gaze finally turned back to me.
I looked into those eyes, which held so much more raw emotion than usual, and spoke words that I knew would dash whatever she'd been hoping for.
"The time I can remain by your side is not long."
"......Pardon?"
Her eyes widened.
Her face drew a little closer.
"Five years. Or perhaps less than that."
"Wha...no...Professor...?"
Expression twisting into incomprehension, she leaned nearer still. I met her trembling blue eyes and continued.
"I don't know exactly when it will be. Nor will I say any formal goodbyes. No...perhaps I'll leave a letter."
"This time...this...was it...this recent—"
"No."
Now close enough, I reached up and touched her cheek.
Her warmth slowly seeped into my hand, which still held no heat of its own.
"This is something I decided long ago."
"Why...?"
"Because it is necessary."
I forced my still-uncooperative arm to move and slowly smoothed down her beautiful golden hair.
"Claire."
"......."
She didn't answer.
Looking into her unsteadily wavering eyes, I called her name again.
"Claire."
"......Yes."
Despite my hand caressing her cheek and stroking her hair, she showed not a hint of shyness. She only looked at me with sorrowful eyes.
"After I leave, I want you not to search for me. Though I can't say whether you'll actually listen to me then."
"...I will not."
"Is that so."
A laugh escaped me.
I tucked a stray strand of her hair back into place.
"Perhaps, if you are truly lucky, you might find someone who resembles me. Someone so alike that you might mistake him for me. But...that will not be me. I hope you will not be too disappointed then."
"That...."
Her lips parted briefly, then pressed tightly shut.
I too fell silent.
"...What about Miss Ha-na?"
When her sealed lips finally opened, that kid's name came out.
"She is an adult now. She can take care of herself."
"...She will grieve. Deeply."
"Likely so. Or maybe she'll be happy about finally gaining independence."
"...She is absolutely not that sort of child."
"No."
I lowered my arm with effort, warmth already gone from the limb.
"But she won't be as sad as you think."
Neither Baek Ha-na nor you.
Claire's expression had shifted from sorrow to something approaching indignation. I felt a faint smile rise at the sight.
I did not add the words Take care of her.
She cherishes and loves that white fluffball even more than I do, after all.
"Claire."
The trembling had vanished from her blue eyes. Now they fixed on me with even greater intensity.
"I will leave."
"...Is that so."
Her voice no longer shook.
"Do you still feel the same as you did then?"
"I do."
She answered with force, as though declaring it to me.
"I may use you at times."
"If that is what you wish."
No hesitation whatsoever.
"You will regret it."
"That, too, is my choice."
As if taking revenge.
"Come closer."
"......?"
A little surprised, she blinked her blue eyes a couple of times, then slowly leaned toward me.
"Closer."
"......Ah."
She had been approaching with a puzzled look. Halfway, she let out a soft breath, as if she'd realized something.
"Closer still."
"......."
Slowly, ever so carefully, she placed a hand on the bed and drew near.
Slide.
The hair I had just tidied slipped down and tickled the back of my hand.
"Claire."
"......Yes."
Her breath reached me.
"I am about to give you the answer I put off that day."
"...Gladly."
Her forehead pressed against mine, she closed her eyes gently.
In answer, I tilted my head and touched my lips to hers—those small lips that were faintly trembling.
As if simply confirming what we felt for each other.
Just briefly.
"...You taste like coffee."
"I did drink coffee."
I showed her the cup, still half-full.
"...Pardon me."
Her face instantly flushed crimson. She snatched the teacup from my hand and set it aside. Then she leaned toward me again. No—closer than before.
Her forehead against mine once more, she parted her lips shyly.
"...O-One more...."
"Gladly."
A short, heavy breath scattered.
Lips drawing slowly closer.
"Mmm...."
Her long lashes trembled, lowered.
"...Hah."
"You are allowed to breathe, you know."
"Th-That's...I...am aware...."
Foreheads still touching, her face flushed, she averted her gaze as if sulking. But that didn't last long. Soon she was looking at me again.
"......Your glasses. May I remove them?"
"Keep it a secret from Baek Ha-na."
"......Yes."
Claire reached out and lifted my glasses away.
"...You are beautiful."
I could see my own face reflected in her blue eyes.
She stared into my eyes for a long while before looking away, embarrassment finally catching up with her.
"I...wish to become your lingering attachment."
Her averted gaze found mine again, and she drew even closer.
"So that you might pause mid-step and look back at least once...."
She wrapped her arms around me and buried her face against my shoulder.
"I want to leave my mark...leave your mark upon me...."
I gave no reply.
I simply held her trembling waist close.