Chapter 1

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Translator: MadScientist

Chapter: 1

Chapter Title: Shitposting in a Ruined World

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The world had ended.

Don't ask ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠why. I don't know either.

'Some say China secretly unleashed a virus. Others claim a dormant volcano erupted. And then there are those insisting the U.S. finally snapped and carpet-bombed everything with nukes.'

Five years in this ruined world.

After scraping by like that, I'd heard every unbelievable rumor under the sun.

Most of it was the kind of crap you wouldn't trust even from a shady stock pump-and-dump forum.

But now? It didn't matter anymore.

Why not?

'Because it all actually happened.'

The sky changed first.

Before news even reached us of nukes detonating on the far side of the continent,

the atmosphere had already lost its color.

The blue sky faded to a murky gray, ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠and the sun dimmed like it was behind a filter.

Alarms blared in the cities.

Not just once, but overlapping in a cacophony.

Air raid sirens.

Radiation alerts.

Pandemic emergencies.

With sirens wailing for one impossible disaster after another all at once, no one knew where to run anymore.

The first nuke hit over the ocean.

An entire island nation vanished from the maps,

and satellite footage showed nothing but a white circle.

The shock triggered a chain reaction in the seabed volcanoes.

In mere hours, the entire Pacific Ring of Fire erupted simultaneously.

Lava poured into the sea,

and the oceans began to boil.

Steam and ash blanketed the sky, erasing the line between day and night.

Fallout followed, blocking out the sun, and an endless winter descended on the world.

I survived in that hell for three years.

How? Don't fucking ask.

I'm still amazed I made it myself.

But,

"Looks like that's coming to an end too."

The food was gone.

Not that you could really call it food.

Anyway, everything even remotely edible was scraped clean.

All that was left were some mystery fungi and moss clinging to the walls and floor of the food warehouse.

I'd eat that shit if I could, but after it made me puke my guts out two years ago and nearly roll around dying from the shits, I swore off it for good.

"Nothing left at all now."

It hurt.

After three years of clawing for survival, this was the result.

At least I hadn't ended ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠up as mutant chow out there roaming the wasteland. But starving to death because there was no chow to begin with? That was just depressing.

Now all that remained was to die like a terminal patient with a ticking clock.

The moment that hollow thought filled my mind,

"Fuck that. If I'm gonna die, I won't go out like this."

A surge of boiling defiance rose up, and I shot to my feet.

Whether it was stubborn pride refusing to die like a loser,

or sheer resentment at going out so pathetically alone,

I grabbed a fire axe in one hand and decided to head out.

"If today’s my last stand, I'll take at least one more mutant with me."

That ash-gray world out there was no longer humanity's.

It had long belonged to the grotesque mutants—no one knew when they first appeared.

Maybe Earth’s rightful owners had shifted from us to them. But I couldn't just accept that.

Why? Because I'd survived the last five years fighting it.

Even if it was the same defeat, wouldn't 12/1/0 look better on the mad movie playing at my funeral than 0/1/0?

'Not that anyone would show up to mourn anyway.'

I cracked that lame joke to myself as I stepped toward death.

An unknown hologram popped up in front of my eyes.

Followed by a barrage of text scrambling my vision:

-[Ahh... fuck. Did you just cleave the sky, Heavenly Sword? (12)]

-[Anyone up for a sword debate? 1v1 debate room go (31)]

-[Woo... Prostitute... you're my lunch today... (77)]

A flood of mad scrolling text.

What the hell is this? I raised my hand to touch it, and—

"...What the hell?"

The posts were overflowing with a bizarre familiarity—pure shitposting gold.

Yeah, just like the old community boards before the world went to shit.

Staring at it dredged up ancient memories.

Tap tap tap.

Tap tap tap.

-[There's Circulating Qi for Breakfast, but why no Circulating Qi Brunch?]

Come to think of it, even back when the world was still intact, I was infamous for my shitposting.

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