The Cudgel's Lesson
After wrapping up thirty minutes of what I had dubbed "love's club"—really just the spiked cudgel—I set the weapon aside and shook my hands clean.
I looked down at Alkerniman, who was half-conscious, and shouted,
"Hey, old man! Since you already have the achievement of giving Mark One a beating, I think this is enough... Got it?!"
「G... I... understand.」
"Yeah."
I paused to stare at his swollen buttocks, then curiosity hit me and I asked,
"But after beating him like this, I thought, wouldn't it have been smarter to just hide it all away, sell the potions and stuff, make a trillion won, and report 'Investment success, master!!'? Why did you cause such a ruckus all by yourself?"
「T... That's...」
"...?"
Something felt off.
This old man tried to meet my eyes but quickly jerked his head away like before, avoiding my gaze.
Noticing he was hiding something more, I quickly conjured the Dokkaebi Club again, slung it over my shoulder, and shouted,
"Hey, Potion-Phile Geezer! If you want to keep making potions in the future... wouldn't it be better to be honest and pour everything out? You probably don't want to taste the cudgel's sting again, right?"
「T... That's what I mean...」
"Hmm, yeah, that's what it is, huh?"
「T... It's because the system's auction and shop transactions have limits on the quantity of items that can be sold and the amount that can be withdrawn.
But by selling all the potions I made at once and cashing out all the profits...」
"Damn it... No way?"
「Y... Yes, for a week, I won't be able to earn even one won or withdraw anything.」
"......"
The shocking statement left me frozen with the Dokkaebi Club in hand.
After standing still for about five minutes, I slowly lowered the club I was holding.
Alkerniman, sensing his fate, sprinkled the highest-grade recovery potion on his buttocks and said in a voice like an ant crawling,
"P... Please have mercy..."
"......"
Without any response, I slowly raised the club.
Thud! Thwack! Boom!!
I brought it down hard.
***
After an hour of punishment, I left behind the stiff corpse of Alkerniman and came out of the gate.
Watching the situation, Mordane trembled while wrapping his own buttocks in fear, his eyes full of dread.
"Mordane... It seems we need about a week to move to a new house... No problem, right?"
「O... Of course, master. Do as you please.」
"... Yeah, and I'm a bit tired... I'll sleep for a bit."
「Y... Yes, I'll set the temperature, humidity, and wind as usual.」
Mordane cast high-level magic in an instant and transformed the room into the environment I liked most.
Satisfied with his quick thinking, I nodded slightly and plopped onto the bed.
Then, lightly snapping my fingers, I said shortly,
"Fire."
「Y... Yes, sleep comfortably.」
"Got it."
The light went out, and the room became completely quiet.
I had already fallen asleep in three seconds, and from the bed came a faint, sleepy breathing mixed with a light snore: swish, swuuu...
On the other side of the gate, in the research lab, light flashed again, and Alkerniman's corpse on the floor revived.
Pusheeik—!
Flesh regenerated and bones aligned, Alkerniman swallowed a scream like tearing the blanket.
「Kuaaaaaak!! Hooeng... Hooek... Alive... I'm alive... A, my butt...! My butt feels like it's burning!!!」
As he pushed himself up with his palms on the floor, Mordane, leaning against the gate entrance with arms crossed, sneered.
"Alkerniman. What on earth were you thinking by doing such a stupid thing? Did your brain reset after coming from Barzena to Earth?"
"......"
Alkerniman tried to make excuses with fading eyes.
"A... No, I was just... for the master's sake—"
"Stop the excuses. If I hear more, it will look like a criminal interview where the reporter's identity is revealed."
"......"
Mordane shook his head and scanned Alkerniman from head to toe.
"I really don't understand. Not only did you lose 300 billion, but you cashed out everything without knowing the shop's limit... What on earth is the reason your head is attached? Is it just decoration?"
"... No, I... At first it was good... So the emotions... T... I mean, human greed—"
"You and I are no longer human. Make excuses to other races."
Alkerniman made an aggrieved expression but then hugged his buttocks and groaned.
"Ugh... More than that, it was really too hard... It felt like my bones were crushed in the recovery potion?"
"Haa...."
Mordane snorted and turned his head.
"You call that 'getting what you deserve.' There are people in the world who get what they deserve and still don't get beaten. But you're not one of them."
"... That's an acknowledgment."
"Moreover, even if you had hidden it and reported making a trillion, it would have been better. Why did you honestly confess?"
Alkerniman was silent for a moment and answered.
"... If I lied and got caught, then it would be my real life, not just my butt, that would fly away. You know that best, Mordane. What happens when the master gets angry."
"Indeed...."
Mordane uncrossed his arms, summoned a chair with magic, and sat down with a thud.
"... That was a correct judgment. The master doesn't forgive lies, even if he doesn't care about other things... Well done. I'll praise you."
"Yeah. That person can dissect souls with just a glance... Getting beaten with the club was more like mercy..."
Mordane chuckled.
"In conclusion, did you learn?"
Alkerniman nodded.
"... Yeah. I won't use leverage at all. I won't trust the community. I check the daily limit. And... I won't do solo actions without the master's knowledge."
Mordane chuckled and unfolded a mana cover to dim the lab lights.
"A very excellent lesson. The wisdom learned from the buttocks will stay deep."
Alkerniman grumbled with teary eyes.
"... No, are you really too cold today? Before, I was like a teacher to you—"
"Silence. Right now, you're a bankrupt old man + an old man who gets beaten often + investment ban order number 1, aren't you?"
"... I can't deny that."
Mordane let out a long sigh.
"Alright. For a week, let's live as quietly as possible, without incidents, without additional expenses.
No more raising the master's blood pressure.
We might end up being lumped together with the new colleagues who come out later and get blamed.
You know how crazy the master's personality is, right? What is it... collective responsibility? Emphasizing that."
"... I know well, yeah. I also want to do only potion research from now on. Investment? Economy? I hate them all. Just hearing the word 'stock' makes my butt hurt."
"Fortunately. It's not too late, but you've finally completely recovered the concept of 'intelligence'."
Alkerniman shouted aggrievedly.
"Hey! I was smart from the beginning!! I am the genius alchemist Alkern—"
"Genius alchemists don't burn 300 billion in a moment with community recommendations."
"......"
A silence fell between them.
But at the end of that silence, there was a quiet resignation and relief.
And Mordane stood up from his seat, dismissed the chair he made with magic, and said last,
"Then, let's start potion research. The master will soon prepare a new house, so this week, let's go quietly and peacefully."
"Yeah... Yeah... Peacefully... If there's a chance later, I'll catch that chart magician bastard and kill him."
With that, the two undead had settled on Earth in less than a day, perfectly recovered their intelligence, and learned the terrors of modern society.
***
At that time.
At the top floor of the Korea Hunter Association.
The current president Min Jaehyuk, who had turned the entire place into his presidential office, was enjoying a cup of tea in peace and receiving a report from his secretary.
"So, there's still no reaction?"
"Yes, we've been posting provocative posts to stimulate Hangul Manse through the community, and also posting coaxing and threatening posts... but there's no reaction at all."
"Hmm...."
Min Jaehyuk couldn't understand at all that there was no reaction.
From the first post where Hangul Manse appeared and the next, he could immediately tell how much he wanted attention and liked it.
So, if they scraped a little from that part, he would get angry and come to the association, or leave some trace in any way, so they mobilized all the association's agents to write posts in the community.
But there was no reaction at all.
But it didn't really matter.
After all, there weren't many people in Korea who had the ability to buy an item worth 700 billion won.
If they continued narrowing the search, the identity would eventually be revealed.
After finishing all his thoughts, Min Jaehyuk looked at the silent secretary beside him and opened his mouth.
"First, tell those trash guys to continue writing the most provocative posts in the community to stimulate Hangul Manse... and Choi Bi... is starting to..."
"......"
At that moment, when Min Jaehyuk's association president reached out with one hand to fill his dirty desires.
「This is an unimaginably trash human, impossible to recycle. At this level, just killing it would be forgiven by the master... but I still need permission?」
"...?"
A creepy voice like scraping a steel chalkboard came from beside him, and Min Jaehyuk immediately covered his ears, turned his head, and checked the direction the sound came from, and froze.
In a corner of the association president's office, a being in red armor, armed from head to toe, was leaning against a one-meter-long sword propped up.
"Who... who are you?"
Min Jaehyuk instinctively felt.
The being standing in front of him was on a completely different level from the hunters he had met so far.
And he would not be able to survive here.