Stacking Up Excuses
I let out a long breath. Yeah, this should be about right. I wiped the beads of sweat from my forehead with the back of my hand. The carriage that had been flaunting the full dignity of the Grand Duchy was now nothing more than a shabby cargo wagon you might see tucked away in any rural backwater. The golden eagle emblem engraved on its outer walls had been reduced to splinters under my axe, and the horn decorations on the roof along with the silver wheel covers had all been ripped off. They were now crackling merrily as firewood at my feet.
Even if a pursuit team shows up now, they won’t recognize it at a glance. I rolled my shoulders in slow circles, loosening my stiff muscles. The physical exhaustion from hauling the carriage all night was bad enough, but swinging an axe since before dawn had left me starving. Maybe I should head out and find a coachman or at least a couple of horses to pull this thing.
As I turned my head with that thought, I froze.
“.......”
Only ten paces away, Mave—the guard who had lent me the fire earlier—stood staring at me with a completely dazed expression.
“What, you didn’t leave?” I adjusted my grip on the axe.
Mave didn’t even seem to notice that the tip of his spear was scraping the dirt. His mouth hung half-open, completely slack.
What the hell is that look in his eyes? A delicate woman had pulled a carriage by herself, then swung a massive axe like it was a toy and smashed the whole thing apart. At that point, any normal person would’ve turned tail and run. Yet Mave’s eyes were glazed over, his cheeks strangely flushed. It was like…
Oh fuck, this guy… don’t tell me he’s fallen for me?
It sounded conceited, but Sena was pretty. A fresh, innocent first love from a country boy—something like that? Still, from my perspective, where the core was very much male, watching a strapping young man blush while staring at me wasn’t exactly a pleasant sight.
I spoke bluntly. “Hey, aren’t you going to sleep?”
“Y-yes?! Ah, y-yes…!”
“You were the one who found us at the village entrance earlier, right? You’ve been on night duty. Those bags under your eyes are dark as coal. Go get some rest.”
My curt words made Mave stammer helplessly. “W-well… it is time for the shift change, but I’m not sleepy at all. Haha! Um… your name was…”
“Sena.”
“Ah, M-Miss Sena! The way you swung that axe was just… wow, it was art! In all my days, I’ve never seen such powerful, beautiful axe work…”
Beautiful axe work? What kind of bullshit is this? The man’s lost his mind.
I nearly snorted, but since things had already gone this far, I decided to make full use of the lovestruck fool. I couldn’t afford to waste time here.
“Glad you thought it was beautiful. But listen.” I turned my gaze toward the carriage and grinned. “If you really can’t sleep, how about finding me a decent coachman and a couple of horses that can pull this thing? I’ll pay you well for the trouble.”
“A coachman?! Yes, of course! I’ll go find some right away! I’ll be right back, Miss Sena!”
Mave’s face flushed bright red as if I’d given him some grand honorable mission. He gripped his spear tightly and dashed off toward the center of the village.
Watching his retreating back, I clicked my tongue. Simple-minded idiot. Falling head over heels for a woman’s face and rushing straight toward his own death. If he gets tangled up with this carriage, that Grand Duke bastard will have his head on a pike.
Well, my plan had always been to get directions only as far as the village outskirts, slip him some coins, and send him on his way.
“Waaaah—!! Uwaaaah!!”
From the opposite direction Mave had run, from Chief Vais’s house, Lucian’s piercing cries rang out across the village square.
“Haa……”
I let out a heavy sigh. Why is it that every single time I try to get something done, it’s Lucian’s feeding time? I swear…
I casually picked up the borrowed axe, shoved it into the carriage, and walked toward the chief’s house where the loud cries were pouring out.
“Young master, young master. I’m here……”
“There, there, my sweet baby. Are you hungry? Or did the strange bed wake you up? Shhh… good boy, that’s a good boy.”
The cries that had been loud enough to shake the foundations of the Grand Duke’s residence abruptly stopped. Chief Vais’s wife, Grandma Delma, had taken the swaddled Lucian into her arms. She rocked him gently back and forth, soothing him with practiced ease.
“Twuu…… hueeng……”
Lucian’s fussing quieted noticeably in Grandma Delma’s skilled makeshift cradle. Her technique seemed even more proficient and stable than Maryse’s had been.
“S-Sena……” Carla sat on the bed in the corner of the room, fidgeting anxiously with her fingers as she looked back and forth between Lucian in Delma’s arms and me.
“Please hand him to me, Grandma. I’ll feed him……”
Assuming he was crying from hunger, I reached for the buttons on my front bodice. Sena’s body, having heard the baby’s cries, was already reacting like one of Pavlov’s dogs, preparing to let down milk again.
But then—
“Absolutely not!”
Grandma Delma, still holding Lucian, shot me a sharp glare and clicked her tongue. “The young master is thirteen months old now! At this age, you cannot simply shove a breast in his mouth every time he cries! It creates terrible habits and makes weaning far more difficult later on.”
“What? But… the young master is crying, so……”
“Didn’t he already drink his fill at dawn in the carriage? His stomach shouldn’t be empty yet. If he’s crying, it’s likely because the place is unfamiliar and he feels anxious, or perhaps he has a bit of indigestion. Are you not the wet nurse of a noble household? How can you not know this?”
Delma’s pointed advice struck me right between the eyes. Grandma, please… the inside of me is a man who’s never been near a baby in his life. How would I know any of that!
It felt unfair, but I couldn’t utter a single word in protest. I quietly lowered the hand that had been unbuttoning my dress. The words of a true childcare veteran were absolute.
And just as Delma had said, even without feeding him—simply by patting and soothing—Lucian had already calmed down. He now rested his head peacefully against the old woman’s shoulder.
“Goodness me. This is exactly why young wet nurses struggle. They don’t even try to understand what the child actually needs and think food will solve everything.”
Grandma Delma clicked her tongue at me, then carefully moved to hand over the now-sleepy Lucian.
“Here, he’s settled now. The wet nurse can take—”
“Ah, just a moment.”
Instead of receiving him, I pointed toward Carla, who sat frozen on the bed. “Madam should take him instead.”
“……Huh?”
Carla’s eyes trembled. She shook her head frantically and stepped back. “N-no, Sena. If I hold him… Lucian might start crying again because he doesn’t like it. I can’t even feed him……”
She had overcome her fear and held him in the carriage because I needed to pull it. But now that the unavoidable necessity had passed, the fear seemed to be flooding back.
I ignored her refusal. “Didn’t you hear Grandma Delma? She said it isn’t feeding time.”
“But……”
“Take him, quickly. The young master will start crying again at this rate.”
At my insistent urging, Carla extended her trembling hands. Grandma Delma carefully transferred Lucian into her arms.
The instant the baby touched Carla’s embrace, everyone in the room held their breath. We were all tense, afraid Lucian would suddenly wail and push her away again.
But—
“Twuu……”
Lucian did not cry. Instead, he buried his small face into Carla’s chest and began breathing softly, content as a baby bird nestled in a warm sanctuary. Perhaps it was because Carla had held him constantly throughout the carriage ride. Her embrace now carried only the calm serenity of a mother’s warmth.
“Ah……”
The gentle breath of her son against her chest was always warm. A single tear slipped from Carla’s reddened eyes and fell onto Lucian’s forehead.
Perfect. If things keep going like this, I might actually graduate from being a solo breastfeeding machine.
As I was mentally applauding with deep emotion, a cough came from the corner of the room.
“Ahem. Ahem.”
It was the homeowner, Village Chief Vais. He had been standing quietly behind his wife while she dispensed her childcare wisdom.
“I am relieved the young master has found peace, Your Grace the Grand Duchess.”
Chief Vais stepped forward, leaning on his cane. Despite his worn coat and kindly white hair, he was unmistakably a northerner. The decades he had spent leading a harsh border village showed clearly in his sturdy frame.
“I am Vais, chief of Edelweiss Village under the Gestein Grand Duchy.”
The chief bowed politely.
“It is an honor for our humble village that Your Grace and the young master have chosen to rest here. However……”
Vais began carrying out his duty as chief. “As the one responsible for this village, I must ask you to explain the situation—at least the general circumstances.”
He looked back and forth between Carla and me.
“For the Grand Duchess and the heir to arrive at such an early hour in a carriage pulled by a maid, without a single escort knight… it can only mean you have brought with you the fierce winds that blow across the northern snowfields.”
This isn’t going to be easy.
From the village’s perspective, the lord’s wife had essentially fled here. If they accidentally displeased the Grand Duke, the entire village could be dragged into accusations of treason and burned to the ground. It was an extremely dangerous situation.
The old chief’s instincts are terrifyingly sharp.
I quickly racked my brain, trying to come up with a story that would reassure the villagers and earn their cooperation. If I told the truth—that the Grand Duke had abandoned Madam in a bandit den and I had rescued her—they wouldn’t believe me. They’d panic and try to drive us out immediately.
I have to handle this. I did read the original story, even if it’s a bit fuzzy now.
Just as I was about to step forward and spin a suitable lie, Carla spoke from behind me.
“I understand the chief’s concern.”
Her voice was calm and dignified. Both Grandma Delma’s and my eyes turned to her at the same time.
While gently patting Lucian in her arms, Carla met Chief Vais’s gaze with a straight, elegant posture. Every trace of the unstable, manic behavior I had witnessed all day at the Grand Duke’s residence had vanished. She deliberately used formal address, choosing a clear hierarchical relationship to make full use of her status as Grand Duchess.
“We were originally traveling to my family home, the County of Midsolar, under the protection of knights. I am still quite inexperienced in caring for and educating Lucian, so I sought my mother’s advice.”
Carla’s lies flowed as smoothly as water.
“However, last night while we were preparing to camp, we suffered a surprise attack from a band of insolent bandits. In the chaos, the coachman and escort knights became separated as they fought. In that desperate moment, we barely managed to escape thanks to the quick thinking of Sena, who serves as both my personal guard and wet nurse.”
Carla glanced at me and offered a gentle smile.
“We became separated from the main knight order, leaving us without horses to pull the carriage. Sena endured quite a hardship because of it. We intend to rest here briefly, reorganize, and send word to the Grand Duke’s residence before regrouping. We will cause no trouble for the village, so please set your mind at ease.”
……!
I stared at the back of Carla’s head and gave her a standing ovation in my mind. Wow, our Madam is spitting out lies without even blinking!
After watching her mental breakdowns, self-slapping, and floods of tears and snot all day, seeing her stand tall like this—radiating the natural grace of a noble lady and skillfully handling the political situation—left me genuinely impressed. So this was what a child from a proper house could do.
This is exactly why I kissed her yesterday. She’s so fucking beautiful, seriously.
Thanks to her story, the bandit attack had been wrapped up as a plausible accident, and any suspicion about why we were being pursued had been neatly deflected.
But experience was on the chief’s side.
“So it was a bandit attack. I am truly glad Your Grace is safe.”
Chief Vais nodded as though convinced. Yet his hand continued to stroke his chin. He had not let go of his suspicions.