An Unprecedented Scene
“What the hell is that crazy bitch…?”
One of the bandits gripping a sword muttered, completely dazed. The same men who had been leering at the Grand Duchess’s wet breasts with raw lust just moments ago were now frozen solid, utterly bewildered by the surreal sight of a woman bursting out of the forest and casually breastfeeding right in front of them.
“Ah, fuck.” My head tilted at an odd angle. “If you’re done sucking, let go already.”
I gave the back of Lucian’s head a light tap with my palm. I didn’t actually touch him—it was just for show, the kind of gesture that would look like a real pat from the front. I couldn’t hit the child, after all.
While you’re busy stuffing your face, your mom’s about to get completely fucked over, you know?
“……Huh?” Karla doubted her own ears. Whose mouth had those words just come from? Was that really the voice of Sena, the nanny who always bowed respectfully to her, calling her “Madam” with perfect courtesy?
Fuck? About to get fucked over? Karla’s brain completely shut down. Those vulgar words didn’t belong to a noble lady—not even to an ordinary commoner woman. They were the kind of filth you’d hear from back-alley mercenaries or drunken boatmen.
“Dyuu…… pua.”
Pushed away by my hand, Lucian reluctantly released the nipple and let out a small, disappointed sigh. The white breast milk clinging to his lips sparkled under the moonlight.
“There, good job. Now burp for me.”
With a motion that was already becoming familiar, I draped Lucian over my left shoulder. Then I began patting his tiny back with a rhythmic tap-tap-tap.
“Hey. Sena.” I muttered to the original Sena, the one I shared this body with. “Just like I said. Let’s split upper and lower body. I’ll focus on keeping Lucian steady and helping him burp. You handle the lower half and beat the shit out of those bastards. Okay?”
The bandit leader, who had been listening to my deranged monologue, finally regained his senses and exploded into wild laughter.
“Puhahaha! What kind of fucking day is this?! Did the gods drop a suckling party on us or something?”
“No kidding! First some bitch shows up leaking milk everywhere, and now another one strolls out breastfeeding like it’s nothing! Two milk-spouting women right in front of us…!”
Before the bandit’s crude mockery could finish—
BANG—!!!
The wet dirt beneath my feet exploded outward. The body that had been standing with a baby on its shoulder vanished from the air like a gust of wind.
“What the—where did she go?!”
The panicked bandit leader was just turning his head when—
“Right here, you fucking idiot.”
I had already closed the distance in a single leap, appearing right in front of him. My posture was split in the most grotesque way imaginable. The upper half of my body remained perfectly gentle—Lucian was securely held against my shoulder so he wouldn’t shake, my hand softly stroking his back, my gaze tenderly fixed on the crown of his head.
The lower half, however, was a completely different story.
All the elasticity and raw power in Sena’s body had condensed into my right leg. Without using any upper-body momentum, I had gathered every ounce of strength in my lower half to deliver a single, lethal strike.
CRUNCH—!!!
My knee rocketed upward, smashing directly into the most vulnerable and precious part between the bandit leader’s legs.
“Grrrrrrrrk—!!!!”
Crack—!! Something burst. Probably his balls. Crunch!!! Something was pulverized. Probably his stiff sack. The sickening sound tore through the northern night sky.
Whoa, fuck, that’s gotta hurt like hell. Even I got goosebumps at a sound that should never come from a human body.
And then—
Burp.
“Oh, nice. Good burp, young master.”
Lucian’s tiny, peaceful little burp echoed through the forest from where he rested on my shoulder.
“Krrgh…… hack, urk……!”
The bandit leader’s eyes rolled back, white foam bubbling from his mouth. He clutched his groin with both hands and collapsed to the ground with a heavy thud. He couldn’t even scream properly as he writhed and convulsed on the dirt.
I nudged his twitching corpse with my toe and casually kicked it aside next to the carriage wheel.
“………”
“………”
The remaining bandits stood like statues, jaws slack, completely petrified by the impossible scene that had just unfolded before their eyes. The bandits’ brains simply refused to process the sight of a human weapon.
I walked over to Karla, who was still sitting blankly on the ground.
“Madam.”
I smiled so she could feel safe.
“Did you see that? After feeding Lucian, you have to sit him upright and pat his back like this so his tummy doesn’t get blocked.”
With careful movements, I handed over the now-drowsy Lucian, who had finished burping, into Karla’s arms.
“Here, please hold him from now on. I’ll go clean up this trash.”
“S-Sena…… how are you…… here……”
Karla instinctively took Lucian but kept calling my name with trembling lips, desperately trying to understand the situation. How could Lucian’s nanny appear in this forsaken place, holding the baby?
But before I could answer her question, another bandit—enraged by his leader’s defeat—snapped back to his senses and charged with a roar.
“You crazy bitch!! How dare you do that to our big brother!! Die!!”
The axe blade came hurtling toward the back of my head.
But—
“Ugh, seriously. I was trying to set the mood and you just had to ruin it.”
Lucian was no longer in my arms. My upper body was finally free. The shackles were gone.
Whoosh—!
My body shot three meters into the air as if defying gravity. The axe sliced through empty space beneath my feet. The moment the bandit’s eyes rolled upward in confusion, my heel—powered by a brutal twist of my waist—slammed down toward his temple.
THUD—!!!
“Kaaagh!”
The bandit’s head drove straight into the ground.
“We’re not done yet.”
Using the recoil, I kicked off the ground, rammed my shoulder into his falling body, and used him like a shield to plow into the others.
Crash! Clatter!
“Graaagh!”
“Ugh!”
The bandits behind him went flying like bowling pins, knocked down by their comrade’s body.
The time it took to neutralize four bandits the moment my upper body was freed?
Five seconds.
“………”
Karla stared blankly down at Lucian in her arms, then looked at my back again and swallowed hard. The dissonance made her want to look away in fear, yet the awe kept her eyes glued to me. An inexplicable heartbeat pounded violently in her chest.
I swept back my disheveled silver hair and approached Karla once more. Then I knelt on one knee to meet her eyes at the same level.
Swish.Chu.
“……!!”
Just like in the bedroom, I left another light but deep kiss on Karla’s startled lips.
“I told you to wait for me, didn’t I, Madam?”
I whispered with a sly grin, my cheek still smeared with blood. Karla’s face flushed crimson all the way down to her neck. She couldn’t speak.
While she remained speechless, I picked up the heavy axe the bandit leader had dropped, lifting it easily with one hand.
“Right then. I’ll go finish this for real. Madam, please cover Lucian’s eyes and block his ears. It’s bad for the baby’s emotional development.”
After repeatedly urging her, I roughly grabbed the scruffs of the fallen, groaning bandits.
“Get up, you fucking bastards. If you piss and shit yourselves here, you’ll dirty our carriage, so let’s move to the back.”
“S-Spare……!”
I dragged two massive bandits with each hand while kicking the rest along, disappearing with them into the dark thicket on the other side of the carriage—far beyond Karla and Lucian’s sight.
And then—
“Gaaaaaaaagh!!”
“P-Please! My arm, my arm!!”
“Spare me! Spare—urk!”
Screams mixed with the merciless sounds of bones snapping and flesh bursting. In the middle of that slaughter, an absurdly out-of-place monologue drifted back to Karla’s ears.
“Like this? Hey, is this how you throw a punch? With your weight behind it?”
Thump—!!
“Ooh, twist the waist at this timing? Damn, that’s perfect. Your spine’s really spinning now.”
Crunch—!
“One more knee strike here? Got it. Hup!”
Crack—!
“Graaaagh!”
“Wow, the impact is insane. Thanks, Sena. Great tutoring session.”
That’s right. I was currently receiving real-time private lessons from Sena on how to properly use this body.
Thud! Thump! Crunch—!
Finally, the sound of something heavy and sharp slicing through bone and crushing it rang out exactly three times. Then the forest fell deathly silent.
A short while later, the rustle of footsteps approached from behind the carriage. A few drops of red blood decorated my face and maid uniform like medals.
I casually shook the axe a few times to flick off the blood, tossed it into the bushes, and stood before Karla with a refreshed expression as if nothing had happened.
“Whew. Cleanup complete. All the trash has been disposed of.”
Karla clutched Lucian tightly to her chest with trembling arms, her heart still racing. The bandits who had tried to kill her had been slaughtered without a trace in less than five minutes. And the woman who had carried out that bloody massacre was now smiling at her with an incredibly bright and gentle expression.
“S-Sena…… just what…… what is all this…… how did this happen? Why are you here……”
When Karla asked with a face drained of all color, I shrugged and sat down on the carriage wheel.
“It’s nothing special, Madam.”
I looked straight into her eyes and grinned.
“I ran away from home too. I got sick of looking at that Grand Duke bastard’s face.”
“……What?”
“I eloped with Lucian. The three of us are going to the capital together.”
Karla’s lips parted in shock. Chu. I couldn’t resist and kissed her again.
“……!”
“Tastes good this time too.”
When I smirked and licked my lips, Karla’s patience finally snapped.
“Why are you doing this!! Are you cra—mmph!”
The moment she tried to scream at me, I silenced her with another deep kiss.
When Karla panicked and tried to struggle, I pulled my lips away and gently pressed down on her shoulders. Then I nodded toward the bundle in her arms.
“Shh. The young master is waking up.”
“……Huh?”
Karla’s gaze slowly followed mine downward. Into her own embrace.
Just moments ago, the area had been filled with bandits’ shouts and the sound of skulls cracking. There had even been two surprise kisses causing a commotion.
Despite all that—
“Suuu…… suuu……”
Lucian had his face buried in Karla’s chest, sleeping peacefully with soft, even breaths.
For the first time.
The child who had always rejected his mother’s embrace, who had screamed and wailed whenever she held him, was now sleeping peacefully in Karla’s arms for the very first time—without a single whimper.
“Lu-Lucian……”
Karla could no longer question me. Large tears welled up in her eyes and fell with a soft plop onto Lucian’s swaddling cloth. She bit her trembling lips tightly.
“Hic…… hic……”
Fearing she might wake Lucian, she began to weep silently. I quietly wrapped my arms around her shaking shoulders as she savored, for the first time, the full warmth of her child’s body and the gentle rhythm of his breathing against her chest.