A Musician with Resolve (3)

MBS Broadcasting Station's flagship variety show, the recording site of The Spotlight. Under the lights, three chairs were set up. On either side sat National MC Yoo Jaemin and sub-MC Jo Sehun, with me in the middle.

"Alright, we've brought in the hottest person in Korea right now. The one smashing through the top ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠of the charts with a song from five years ago—singer Han Jiyeong!"

As Yoo Jaemin delivered his lively opening, three cameras zoomed in on me at once.

"Hello, I'm Han Jiyeong."

I greeted them as nonchalantly as possible.

"Wow, Jiyeong. The screen really doesn't do you justice. I felt it when we said hi in the waiting room earlier, but your vibe... I could totally see you as an actress."

Yoo Jaemin let out a genuine exclamation of admiration and smoothly steered the conversation.

"You're too kind. Maybe it's just because I've been eating and sleeping well lately."

"Haha, so cool as always! So, Jiyeong, everyone must be dying to know what's up with you these days. After hitting number one, agencies must be blowing up your phone, right?"

"They are, but I'm turning them all down. I'm really loving this unemployed life right now."

My honest answer cracked up Yoo Jaemin and Jo Sehun. It was from the pre-interview, but hearing "unemployed life rocks" straight from my mouth softened the whole set's vibe even more.

Heavy topics like being the hospital director's daughter or why I retired five years ago flowed out light and fun, like chatting with friends, thanks to Yoo Jaemin's seasoned hosting.

The fun talk rolled on for a good while like that. Then Yoo Jaemin glanced at the guitar case propped by my chair and flashed a playful smile.

"By the way, Jiyeong, I've been wondering since earlier... why'd you bring that guitar case? There's no performance planned in the rehearsal or cue sheet today."

He was right. I'd grabbed it out of habit before heading to the station. Ever since deciding to get back into music, leaving it behind felt weird.

"Oh, this? It's like... my other half. Feels anxious without it. Kinda like a security blanket."

"A guitar as a security blanket! True musician through and through."

Jo Sehun chimed in. That's when Yoo Jaemin's eyes lit up.

"Jiyeong, mind if I make a super shameless, off-script request?"

"Sure? What is it?"

"The crew doesn't even know, and it's not in the script, but... could you play that guitar just once? Let us hear its sound? Viewers are dying to see you sing right now."

The studio buzzed. Choi PD and the crew's eyes widened. Total ad-lib, off the script.

"Uh... I haven't practiced separately, so not sure if it'll be okay."

"Come on, just a line or two? Please?"

Yoo Jaemin shot me pleading eyes. Pretending to cave, I let a faint smile tug at my lips and reached out.

"...One sec."

I unzipped the guitar case. The smooth-bodied acoustic gleamed softly under the lights. I adjusted my chair, laid it across my lap.

Yoo Jaemin straightened up, holding his breath, and the noisy studio fell pin-drop silent like magic.

Twang— ring—

I lightly plucked the strings to check tuning.

"Alright, I'll sing a bit."

The track had lush keys and sessions, but right now, it was just one guitar. I hit the first chord and strummed. The performance began.

My voice sliced through the hush, spreading into the air. Past life's road that ended in tosagu-paeng betrayal and misery crossed with this life's road I'd fled from in the back of my mind.

Smiles and scars. Could the betrayals and wounds I'd endured hold me up at the final gate?

The lyrics felt like a question aimed straight at me now.

Where my spirit should rest once the bloom faded. My vow to quit music and live as a bum—maybe it was just cowardice, snapping the wilted flower before facing it.

Emotions swelled unbidden.

Even if we roam, the Northern Star and Southern Cross would meet in that velvet sky.

Every road leads home.

The final note faded, the strings' vibration stilled. A split-second silence.

"WAAAAAAAAH—!!!"

"Jiyeong!!!"

A storm of applause swallowed the studio. MC Yoo Jaemin jumped up, showing goosebumps on his arms in awe, while Jo Sehun clapped till his palms must've stung, totally lost for words.

"...Ah."

My guitar-holding hand trembled faintly. Each wave of applause soaked me, crumbling the ice that'd frozen solid inside.

Vision blurred. Hot liquid traced my lashline, wetting my cheeks.

"...Sorry. Emotions just hit me hard all of a sudden."

I ducked my head quick, wiping my damp eyes. Studio lights reflected in the tears, flashing my sight.

Pathetic, really.

Yoo Jaemin watched me silently, then subtly gestured to Choi PD beyond the camera. PD nodded, and a brief hush fell over the tense set.

He stood, came over, and pulled a few tissues from the table, offering them.

"Jiyeong, you're fine. Take your time. This isn't for broadcast—it's us moved by your song, just taking a breather."

His low, warm voice carried real sincerity, living up to the National MC title.

"...Thank you."

I took the tissues with shaky hands, dabbing my eyes gently.

Jo Sehun unscrewed a water bottle nearby and handed it over too.

"Wow, seriously... I almost cried listening to you. That lyric—every road leads you home. Felt like it was meant for you, hit even harder."

His cheery comfort brought a tiny smile to my lips. I roughly fixed my smudged makeup and gripped the guitar again.

No more fear.

"And just like that, our time with Jiyeong is wrapping up."

Yoo Jaemin ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠gazed wistfully at the camera, lips pursed.

"Finally, if you have a message for all the fans and viewers watching—a word from Jiyeong?"

I gathered my thoughts slowly.

"Well... at first, I couldn't believe it. Even seeing my name at number one on the charts, or my articles in the news—it all felt like someone else's story. No sense of reality."

I smiled faintly and continued.

"But sitting here today, seeing the looks in everyone's eyes as they listen to my song, feeling them connect... now it's sinking in. Oh, I'm really loved. My voice reached someone."

Jo Sehun, listening beside us, nodded deeply, moved—then blurted out anyway.

"So, Jiyeong! You starting full activities now? Next album, concert... what's the plan? Gotta know!"

Yoo Jaemin freaked, grabbing his arm.

"Hey, Jo Se! We're wrapping on a high note, and you drop that? Read the room!"

"But I'm dying to know! Everyone in the nation is!"

Their bickering made me snort with laughter despite myself. Cutting through the cheerful chaos, I spoke up again.

"Truth is... I completely let go of music these past five years. This reverse trend? I see it as a miracle."

The studio quieted once more. I stared straight into the lens.

"So, I'm starting over from square one. Back to basics, proving my skills for real."

"Square one... like, specifically?"

To Yoo Jaemin's question, I answered with deliberate weight on each word.

"I'm joining a new audition program to kick things off."

"An audition?! Jiyeong, you're the number one singer right now!"

"The world says I got lucky. Good background, algorithm pick—whatever. I hate those views overshadowing my music."

I pierced the camera with my gaze.

"So, stripping away ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠every label tied to Han Jiyeong, I'll prove with just my voice if I deserve this spot."

I'd tasted the miracle. Now ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠I'd claim the stage on my own feet.

That was true respect for music.

"See you at the audition."