I've Never Had a Comrade Like You
Of course, the mere mention of cooperating with Prosnark—of all nations—sent a wave of murmurs rippling through the personnel of the Holy Sevelian Empire.
"We're running a joint operation with Prosnark?"
"Hunting them down or wiping them out is one thing, but working with them? That's a first."
Naturally, the other side felt exactly the same.
"These bastards… no fire in 'em!"
"Teaming up with people who don't have enough Marine spirit… this won't be easy."
Watching the scene, I felt the familiar old suspicion rearing its head: Is this whole thing even going to work?
Then Riel slipped up beside me and asked, looking utterly unable to process what she was hearing.
"Minister, since when have we been collaborating with Prosnark?"
I answered her with perfect calm.
"Starting today."
"Eh?"
Riel let out a short cry of pure shock, but I paid her no mind. I stepped up onto the basement platform and addressed the crowd clustered below.
"I understand you're all finding this situation strange. After all, we once pointed guns at each other—it's only natural to feel awkward."
"…"
"But for this operation—searching for and securing the Dark Age vessel—I want you to set those old memories aside and focus on the job."
"Minister, does that mean we're going after this so-called ghost ship together with those Marine bastards?"
One of the Purge Squad members raised a hand. I nodded.
"That's right."
Perhaps because I had taken the question, more hands went up—not only among the Purge Squad, but among the Prosnark Marines as well. Answering every single one was impossible, so for fairness I decided to take just one more from the Marine side.
"We haven't been told much either. How long is this cooperation supposed to last?"
The man who had been screaming about "bastards" and "no fire" only moments earlier now spoke in a perfectly serious, composed tone. I nearly barked out a laugh of pure disbelief.
[PAUSED]
[UNPAUSED]
After using the pause to collect myself, I looked at the Marine who had asked the question.
"The duration is still undecided. We agreed to cooperate, but we haven't yet received formal approval from Her Majesty the Empress."
"…"
"By the way—does that mean you charged in here on the embassy truck without knowing a single thing?"
"That's correct. The Supreme Commander's daughter gave the order. We follow it."
Something about the way he said it…
The moment our eyes met, I saw it.
That look! That exact look!
The same fanatical gleam I saw every day in the eyes of the Purge Squad—the pure, unhinged loyalty that burned past mere devotion into outright mania.
And in that instant, a brilliant method for welding these two grumbling groups into one unit flashed through my mind.
"I see. So you give your absolute loyalty to the Prosnark ambassador I spoke with."
"Yes, sir!"
I tossed the bait, and they swallowed it whole. Nodding, I raised my terminal toward the Marines.
"Then take a look at this. A message sent to me by Jad Samiya Halabi'dus, Ambassador of Prosnark."
"What…?"
"As of today, you've been sold to me. So shut up and do as I say."
"…"
Ambassador Samiya sold you lot.
The moment those words left my mouth, I watched the Marines' hard stares shatter and swirl.
…Did I pull the aggro a little too hard?
If I wasn't careful, this could deal a serious blow to the ambassador's authority over her own troops. Feeling a twinge of guilt for teasing them so mercilessly, I started to correct myself.
"Ah, wait—"
"Lady Samiya has spoken! A great mission has been bestowed upon us!"
"At last we stand apart from those half-hearted Marines—we are the true fire-forged Marines! Lady Samiya herself has acknowledged us!"
My worries were tossed straight into the trash. Right before my eyes they performed the exact same mental gymnastics as the lunatics standing next to them.
"…Right. That works."
I nodded, pulled my gaze away from the Marines as they began loudly praising the Prosnark ambassador among themselves, and looked over at the Purge Squad clustered on the other side.
And these guys… they seemed to have been infected by the Marines' energy.
—Sparkling
"…"
A motley collection of every alien species imaginable, not one of them looking alike, all staring at me in perfect silence with the big, shiny eyes of baby deer. I let out a long sigh.
"Yeah, yeah… you lot too."
That was all it took. The Purge Squad erupted into the same frenzied praise as the Marines.
"Minister Arto!"
"For the Boss!"
"Commander!!!"
"For Lady Samiyaaaaa!!!"
"Heeung."
The basement had transformed into a cult revival meeting in the blink of an eye. I nodded in satisfaction.
"Riel, I'll leave the rest to you."
"What the hell—you create a pack of fanatics like this and then dump them on me and leave? How am I supposed to handle this?"
I tossed the entire situation onto Riel and made a clean escape.
"I have a duty to report to Her Majesty the Empress."
"Couldn't you just report by video call right now? Her Majesty would understand, wouldn't she?"
"No. I must report to Her Majesty in person…!"
Even as I spoke, I could see the longing for Heresy rising in Riel's eyes.
Sorry, Riel. But this is exactly the moment when humanity's friend—the AI humanoid—must make the sacrifice.
I swore I would never forget her sacrifice, then boarded the waiting shuttle upstairs and left to deliver my report to Artraia in person.
And so I arrived at the Imperial Palace.
The Imperial Guard delivered me straight to Artraia's private chambers. After a great deal of this and that, whispering and murmuring…
I reported everything I had experienced and remembered, leaving nothing out: discovering the unidentified ghost ship, the cozy little date(?) with the Prosnark ambassador that had yielded information about the Precursor Empire, how we had somehow ended up cooperating with Prosnark, and how their Marines were currently downstairs in the Foreign Executive Ministry basement holding a full-blown cult meeting with the Purge Squad.
As I finished, Artraia's expression grew increasingly complicated.
"Iiiii see…"
"I understand how you feel. Honestly, I never expected us to end up in a cooperative relationship with Prosnark either."
"…"
"I'd rather not say this if I can help it, but a situation like this could easily become an international incident if mishandled."
"I know. I know."
How tangled must her feelings be?
From the moment of her ascension until this very day, the Prosnark Union had been her mortal enemy. And now, from the mouth of the one retainer she trusted most (probably), she was hearing that those same hated Prosnarks were going to help her.
"Nngh…"
Every time Artraia groaned and shook her head, the two overflowing pouches that symbolized her intellect and maternal nature swayed heavily. It was impossible to guess how many storms of anguish were raging inside her mind.
Yet no matter how deep her fury toward Prosnark ran, she was still the one and only Empress who ruled the vast interstellar Holy Sevelian Empire. At last she seemed to reach a decision. She nodded firmly and looked at me.
"All right, Arto. First of all, your report sounds entirely plausible."
"Mm."
"And looking at it realistically, I can understand why Prosnark would reach out to us with that kind of talk."
Then Artraia began dissecting Prosnark's motives, filling in every gap Samiya had left unspoken.
"You already know this, Arto, but if you think purely from Prosnark's perspective… further southern expansion from here is meaningless."
I had no idea, but I nodded along anyway.
"Additional southern advances would only put them in contact with yet another Precursor Empire—the very thing they fear most."
"Mm."
"And if they keep pushing east, the only routes left besides Zeltec and the Kerzin Federation are two at most."
"Mm."
"One of those is already sealed by monsters pouring out of an unknown dimension, and the other is being held by the combined fleets of the Sir-Hod Alliance."
"Mmm."
"In a situation like that, if Prosnark is preparing for war against that Precursor Empire, there's literally no one else they can extend a hand to except us."
"Right."
Having sorted the entire strategic picture in an instant, Artraia seemed to regain her usual confidence. She planted a hand on her hip, thrusting her ample chest forward as she continued.
"And another thing—I've long suspected the Kerzin Federation was receiving backing from a Precursor Empire, but I could never dig up proof. Now those Prosnark bastards have basically certified that my suspicion was correct."
"Th…at's true."
"Heh-heh-heh. Those irritating Kerzin scum—they only grew so big because of their patrons, and that's exactly why they ended up in that pathetic state! Ahahahaha!"
Artraia laughed with pure delight, convinced her judgment had been vindicated. It might have been nothing more than a mental escape hatch to distance herself from the irritation of cooperating with Prosnark…
But the one who should have called her out on it was completely unable to speak, hypnotized by the overwhelming, violent sway of those two magnificent pouches of character.