Seban Civil War (2)
It was the first time I had ever seen a rebellion break out in a vassal state.
But the fact that one had broken out…
If things went wrong, the national contracts binding our Empire to its vassals could become worthless overnight. The risk was real.
This… is the difference between the game and reality!
Given the situation, I was convinced this was the best possible choice. Yet—
"In the end, whether late or soon, incidents like this will spread and tear the Empire's sphere of influence apart."
"…"
"Therefore, the Empire must settle this matter with its own hands…!"
"…"
"Riel, how can you not understand that?"
For my grand design to succeed, managing each and every vassal state was critically important. And yet—
"Are you joking with me right now?"
—Riel, who clearly failed to grasp that grand design, was showing nothing but pure selfishness.
"A small man cannot comprehend the will of a great one… Riel, this is precisely the moment for you to go in my place and deliver a proper lesson to those fools starting a civil war."
"Why the hell are you sending me?"
"Come now, Riel. Why such stubborn refusal?"
"No, seriously, where the hell did you even pick up that weird way of talking?"
Riel rapped her palm against the work table in my office a few times, then let out a long sigh and continued.
"Minister, let me ask you just one thing."
"What is it, Riel?"
"Honestly, you weren't thinking at all back then, and when you suddenly had to choose someone, you just picked me, didn't you?"
"…"
"That's just too much."
And then she had the audacity to climb right up onto the Minister's table.
"This is basically that 'passing the buck' thing you hate more than anything, isn't it?"
"Passing the buck? What nonsense is that, Riel?"
Faced with that sight, I pulled out the Etiquette Injection Rod and shoved her back by the spine as I spoke.
"Even so, I can hardly go myself over a mere vassal-state problem, can I?"
"Don't you dare try to steer the conversation that way."
Instead of yielding to the rod, Riel leaned her waist into it and even started swinging her legs.
"Calling it a 'vassal state' is just talk. We treat them like nations, but the Seban Administration is really just an interstellar state consisting of a single planet."
"Hmm."
I adopted an expression that said I was willing to hear her out. Encouraged, Riel pressed on with renewed energy, as if she had found her second wind.
"So what does that mean?"
"Continue."
"By our Empire's standards, the Seban Administration is treated exactly like a planetary governor!"
As if that declaration were a victory cry, she twisted her waist toward me and flashed a provocative smile.
"So, matching that rank, wouldn't it be fine to just send people a little below me…?"
But when I showed not the slightest reaction, her expression and voice wilted into something resembling a sad oyster mushroom.
"Whyyy…?"
She quietly slid down from the table, rested only her chin on the edge, and began putting on a pitiful act.
"Why do you always pick on me alone? At times like this, send someone else."
She even managed a face that looked like a sad cat. I let out a deep sigh, then—
Poke.
"Ngyaaaaah…"
—pressed the tip of the Etiquette Injection Rod firmly against her forehead.
"You're diligently climbing the five stages of grief, I see."
"Gyaaaaaah…"
"One more stage and you'll accept reality, so why not just go with the flow of consciousness and speak?"
"Nngh."
At that, Riel seemed to realize I had no intention of changing my mind.
"Uuuugh… Fine! I'll go! Happy now?!"
"That's right. I knew you'd come around."
But perhaps I had crossed a line.
The moment those words left my mouth, Riel—who had been grumbling about going—fell silent.
"…"
"Riel?"
Both eyes turned into axe blades. She glared at me with a vicious expression, then—
"GYAAAAAAAH!!!!"
"Ah."
—completely ignoring her titles as aide to the Minister of the Foreign Executive Ministry, secretary to a duke of imperial blood, and manager of the Purge Squad, she flopped belly-down onto my table and started thrashing around like a child throwing a tantrum.
Of course I wasn't about to simply watch that disgraceful display.
"…"
"Ughk?!"
As payment for turning someone else's table into a bed, I locked a chokehold around her neck, forcing her to "get up" while making it impossible for her to rise under her own power—a rather exquisite posture.
"Ngggggh!"
"Riel, you've been getting rather cheeky lately."
All I had to do was rest my weight. Riel, unable to escape, flailed and thrashed in pure fury.
After some time—perhaps because I kept the hold while casually checking my terminal—Riel finally gave up resisting. In a completely exhausted voice, she surrendered.
"Nnnngh… hiiing…"
"You should have listened earlier—ah."
The problem was the position of her face…
Squelch.
"Eheh… hweeeh…"
"…"
Because Riel was a humanoid with living skin, the moisture content of my clothes suddenly exceeded fifty percent.
And I couldn't even scold her for it, because—
"Hwaaaaaaaah!"
"…"
"Hic… hic!"
"Hmm."
—she was wailing so pitifully, tears, snot, and drool streaming down her face in a thoroughly un-humanoid fashion, that even my meager reserves of sympathy and conscience started stabbing me from the inside.
I quietly approached her.
"I'm sorry. I went too far."
"Hic…"
Even as I tried to comfort her, Riel kept shedding fat tears and hiccupping. I scratched my head awkwardly, sighed, and—
"Whew. No, really, I'm sorry."
—stroked her sniffling head while doing my best to offer continuous apologies.
Of course, simply saying "sorry" would only make someone who was about to forgive me angry enough to murder me instead. So I decided to share a piece of the grand design I hadn't yet told her.
"I need you to understand that I had no choice, Riel."
"…"
"If, in the current situation, the Empire's vassals sever ties because of civil wars or the like, the foundation of my entire plan to prepare for war with the Prosnak will collapse."
"…"
"You know the Empire alone can't defeat the Prosnak, right?"
Riel quietly nodded.
"In the end, to stand against the Prosnak we have no choice but to form a galactic-scale coalition."
"…But what does that have to do with this?"
"Listen. Given the nature of such a coalition, who holds hegemony will be decided by national power. That's a given."
I continued stroking her head as I spoke.
"But if we form a coalition with other nations right now, the current Seveli Empire simply isn't strong enough to become the leader."
"…"
"And that calculation already assumes our existing vassals remain intact. What happens if those vassals start shaking?"
"…Your entire premise falls apart?"
"Exactly. That's why, right now, we need to manage the household—issue a warning to the factions inside the Seban Administration and our other vassals."
I looked down at Riel, who had finally stopped hiccupping, and stated it firmly.
"To do that, someone of at least a certain standing from the Empire has to visit in person."
"…"
"But me going myself would be excessive."
"That's… true, but…"
"Then isn't the answer already decided? Someone lower in rank than me yet of comparable weight… within the current Foreign Executive Ministry, there's no one but you."
I had of course excluded the Vice Minister from consideration. Why would I entrust such a critical task to someone originally sent to keep me in check? Better to keep him as an eternal office slave forever.
"…"
Sensing she was almost convinced, I drove the final nail home.
"Riel, if you handle this well, I'll make sure nothing like today's incident happens again."
"…"
Ah, she's finally looking this way.
"…Really?"
"Yes. Really."
With that, Riel seemed to finally accept my sincerity. She roughly wiped away the tears still trailing down her face, then rose from her seat with a bright smile.
"Alright. Since the Minister has gone that far…"
"…Mm."
Hands on her hips, the tear-and-snot-stained face returned to its usual arrogant, self-assured expression.
"I'll believe the Minister's words!"
That cocky, prideful look somehow made it feel like the hierarchy had flipped, but—
Well, I suppose I can let this much slide as cute.
Pushing her too hard could lead to another scene like today's, so I decided to overlook it just this once.
"Oh, but if something similar happens in another vassal state later, you're not going to send me again, right?"
"…"
"Minister?"
"…"
"Sir?"
"Well then, shall we get back to work?"
"…"
I'm sorry, Riel. But on that last point… I simply cannot give you a firm promise.