Chapter 8
Chapter 8
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 8
Chapter Title: The Girl Who Can't Love Herself
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Kang Haneul thought back to Jeong Da-jeong, who had been huddling her shoulders among the members.
At first glance, she had seemed like just a kid lacking a bit of confidence.
She didn't know the full details of her family situation, but perhaps that background had played some role.
If so, she believed without a doubt that giving her some confidence would make it all possible.
But today, as she watched the girl named Jeong Da-jeong, Kang Haneul had to revise her thinking.
This child wasn't simply lacking confidence.
She had never once valued her own existence.
Even when drawing the members' avatars, it was obvious.
Normally, people would imagine their own appearances first and share opinions.
But this girl hadn't even considered her own—she jumped straight to the other members' avatars.
No, maybe even that could be okay.
It could be seen positively as a slightly selfless personality.
But after hearing her response later, Kang Haneul had to revise even that thought.
"Da-jeong, it's all great... but what about your avatar?"
"Me? M-Me?"
"Yeah, yours seems to be missing. Or do you have something in mind already?"
At her question, Da-jeong looked blankly for a moment before breaking into an embarrassed smile, "Ehehe..."
"Sorry. I'll think about it."
That was when Kang Haneul felt something off.
Even the most selfless person would usually take care of their own needs first before helping others, right?
No, maybe this was an even deeper issue.
It was as if she had never even given herself a passing thought.
As if she had no real interest in what happened to her own avatar.
Her utter indifference toward herself was strangely abnormal.
"Hehe, Yuna's avatar is going to be so cute...! Like a princess born from the stars, right?"
"President, wouldn't it be cool if Chae-yoon's avatar dagger had a pattern like this?"
"Ra-hee unnie's avatar needs these fangs as the key feature! You have to include them!"
"Ji-ah's avatar would look even prettier with a knight mode and a goddess mode!"
In contrast, she showed excessive interest in the members.
Even as the A4 paper Kang Haneul had given her to draw her own avatar sat completely blank, Da-jeong steadfastly offered opinions only on the others' designs, smiling happily.
'She never received love herself, yet somehow only learned how to give it.'
What a paradoxical story.
That's why Kang Haneul cautiously formed this hypothesis.
Maybe the girl's indifference to herself wasn't born from some generous mindset that her own fate didn't matter.
Perhaps she had simply never even had the chance to pay attention to herself.
If asked what the difference was, it was obviously enormous.
People are creatures of habit and routine, after all.
Actions you've done before can become second nature.
But those you haven't? Even learning them late is hard to turn into habits.
And in Da-jeong's case, the habit she lacked was something every person in this era should have naturally.
'Paying attention to myself.'
Wouldn't that explain her abnormal behavior perfectly?
"...President! President!"
"Huh? Oh, yeah?"
Lost in her thoughts like that,
Kang Haneul's head snapped up at the sudden loud shout piercing her ears.
Right in front of her sat the very girl filling her mind, tilting her head with innocent eyes.
"I heard you called for me, so I came..."
"Ah...! R-Right, I did. Sorry, did I miss your footsteps?"
Kang Haneul tried to hide her embarrassment.
But that only deepened Da-jeong's confusion.
"No, it wasn't just footsteps... I knocked and called out, but there was no response. I got worried you might be sick or something..."
"Ahem! I must've dozed off with my eyes open. I've been tired lately, so it happens sometimes."
"Y-You're that exhausted? Maybe you should rest your eyes..."
Da-jeong fidgeted anxiously. 'Or should I make you some honey water?'
Her name really suited her perfectly.
Kang Haneul felt her body and mind heal as she smiled back.
'Having a little sister like this would make every day blissful.'
She projected her long-held dream as an only child onto the girl before her.
"But why did you call me specifically? Did I do something wrong...?"
Politely declining the honey water, Kang Haneul was about to get into the real talk.
Da-jeong's uneasy eyes asked why she was the only one getting a one-on-one meeting.
Kang Haneul barely stopped herself from jumping to her feet.
"No, no! Absolutely not! I just wanted to chat one-on-one with our Da-jeong."
"Oh, that's... why? Whew, what a relief. I thought I'd messed up or something..."
Da-jeong sighed in relief and finally smiled, but seeing it made Kang Haneul's heart ache.
What kind of life had she lived?
It was heartbreaking how naturally she assumed fault lay with her.
Even kids dragged to the principal's office weren't this bad.
"Definitely not. And even if you did mess up, how could I not forgive our cute Da-jeong?"
"M-Me, cute...? No way. Yuna's way cuter. She's so sweet, bright, talks to someone like me, and she's pretty..."
"......"
'Someone like me.'
Kang Haneul had never met anyone who referred to themselves that way.
Not like a flawed person—like she was treating an object.
"No, I think you're plenty cute too. So have some confidence and let's keep working hard together, okay?"
"Yes! Thank you. I'll keep helping the members diligently!"
"...Yeah, sure."
Da-jeong clenched her fist cutely in determination.
But her natural step back, positioning herself as support for the members, was still something Kang Haneul wanted to address.
Nothing to be done now, though.
This was only their second meeting.
She didn't know Da-jeong's family history or the full story, and she wasn't in a position to lecture.
So slowly, very slowly.
Once she got closer and uncovered the shadows around this girl.
Someday, she could offer sincere advice.
For now, she'd just watch—that was her plan. Kang Haneul forced a smile.
"So, what did you need me for?"
"Oh, right. I wanted to discuss the broadcast plans. Once the avatars are ready, we'll do a few rehearsals and practices, then go straight into broadcasting."
"Ah."
Truth be told, that wasn't the only surface-level reason.
The broadcast plans were just an excuse; she really wanted to learn more about Da-jeong's current situation.
"By the way, do you have any broadcast setup at home? Like a computer...?"
"I have a computer."
"Oh, good?"
She was aiming to be a Virtual YouTuber, so of course she'd have one.
Kang Haneul sighed in relief and continued.
"What are the specs like? Good enough for streaming?"
"They're on the low side. It's an old one I got from the town office before they tossed it."
"I... see."
She tried to play it cool, but it hit Kang Haneul hard.
That it was still running at all was a miracle.
"This might be rude, but can you afford a new one? On the phone, you mentioned only having 200,000 won in your account..."
"Oh, yeah. I have money saved in another account for later, so I can definitely get a new one."
"Really?"
Kang Haneul was relieved at the quick answer to her cautious question.
No way her entire fortune was just 200,000 won.
She must have some savings.
"How much is it, roughly? If it's short, the company can help."
She didn't expect a fortune, so she probed gently.
Setting up a perfect streaming PC could run 4-5 million won easy, depending.
You often needed multiple monitors or towers.
"No need to worry. My parents left me a little money when they passed."
"...H-Huh? Money from your parents?"
Da-jeong waved it off reassuringly, but Kang Haneul's eyes went wide.
What did she just say?
Parents passed and left money?
That meant it was the only inheritance this girl had left.
"Yeah! I saved it as a last resort if things get really tough. It's 2 million won, so if I pick up a bit more part-time work, it'll be plenty."
"......"
2 million won.
To some, maybe a lot.
But for an orphaned girl, as her sole inheritance? Pathetically small.
'To Da-jeong, it's probably a fortune.'
She couldn't point that out, thanks to the pride shining on the girl's face.
No matter how tough things got, she'd clung on without touching that precious legacy.
Kang Haneul couldn't be cruel enough to make her spend it.
"No. Keep that money for now—the company will get you one. I'll buy you a really good one."
"Eh? I'm fine..."
"I'm fine too. Please, please, just accept it?"
"O-Okay..."
After practically begging the reluctant Da-jeong, they settled on the company providing the computer.
Only then could Kang Haneul lean back, sighing in relief as one worry vanished.
Right then.
Grrrowl—
"Ah...! S-Sorry."
"It's okay. More importantly, Da-jeong, did you eat?"
"Ah, no. I only eat once a day, so I was planning to when I got home..."
Da-jeong scratched her head sheepishly with an innocent smile.
Once again, Kang Haneul felt a chill.
One meal a day could pass as diet control.
No, given her situation, even that might be impossible—but somehow understandable.
What bothered her was the content of that single meal.
"...Mind if I ask what you were gonna eat?"
"Tofu and cabbage. Cheap and tasty."
Thud.
So innocently bright.
But heartbreaking to hear. Kang Haneul pressed her forehead again.
Forget work—first, she had to feed this hungry little squirrel.