Chapter 266
Chapter 266
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 266
Chapter Title: Reflecting on My Past Self
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A boy sat alone in the corner, locked in a staring contest with his food.
I stared at him intently, and it took me a moment to recall his name.
Yes, it was Jun-woo. Kang Jun-woo.
I'd barely spoken to him before, but I remembered him perfectly.
Because even when I first came to the orphanage and greeted everyone, he'd just huffed and brushed past me coldly. That moment was still fresh in my mind.
According to the director, Jun-woo didn't mix well with the others.
His parents had racked up huge debts and fled in the night, abandoning him.
That had bred a deep distrust of people.
It was such a heartbreaking story.
"Jun-woo, want some help from your big sisters?"
"...! N-No, I'm fine! Go away!"
In the end, I couldn't stand watching him struggle to cut his meat properly any longer, so I approached and spoke to him.
Jun-woo resisted fiercely, his lips pouting.
He still hadn't opened up to me at all.
I worried that his attitude might have hurt Ra-hee unnie's feelings.
But when our eyes met, she winked—one eye crinkling—as if to say, Try talking to him more, and took my hand, leading me over.
Right. I'd heard it wasn't good to push too hard in situations like this.
But I couldn't just leave Jun-woo alone like that.
"Come on, don't be like that. I'll just show you how—try it like I say."
"Hmph, I can do it myself just fine."
"Doesn't look like it—you're struggling so much."
"Ah, I said no! Don't treat me like a kid!"
Jun-woo raised his voice at Ra-hee unnie's sharp observation.
He's nine—he is a kid, isn't he? ...Yeah, better not point that out.
Besides, if I cut it for him here, he might just run off.
So I sat down carefully beside him and decided to demonstrate, mimicking how to hold the knife and fork.
"Watch me, okay? Hold the knife like this, and the fork like this—then slice."
"L-Like this?"
"No, press down on the knife with your index finger, like you're pushing it."
"Like this?"
"Yeah, that's right. Wanna try cutting now?"
He wasn't a bad kid at heart, so he seemed to accept our help.
Jun-woo gripped the fork and knife awkwardly as Ra-hee unnie instructed and kept slicing away somehow.
Swish—
As a result, the steak sliced cleanly, revealing a fresh pink cross-section.
"Oh...!"
"Wow, Jun-woo, you're doing great."
"Hmph...!"
Joy lit up Jun-woo's face at the sight, and my unnie and I clapped beside him, praising him.
But he still seemed uncomfortable with us around, sulkily turning his head to the side as he started eating the meat.
Hehe, at least he's enjoying the taste.
You can tell from how he's stuffing his cheeks full like that.
"Hey, Jun-woo, why were you eating alone over here? It'd be more fun with your friends."
The teachers weren't nearby—they were busy with the other kids—so that was one thing.
But Jun-woo had been so isolated in the corner that I couldn't help asking, and he narrowed his eyes, answering softly.
"I don't need friends like that. Eating alone is more comfortable."
"Huh? Why? Food tastes better when you eat together."
"Not really."
He grumbled, pouting as he chewed his meat silently.
It seemed his prickliness wasn't just toward adults or outsiders like me.
He treated the other kids at the orphanage pretty sharply too.
"Jun-woo, do you not like your friends?"
"They're not friends."
I tried another question to keep the conversation going, but got another prickly reply.
I'd chosen my words poorly, it seemed.
Oh no, I thought, quickly correcting myself.
"Then... do you not like the people around you? Like the teachers?"
"Yeah."
"I see. Why's that?"
"They'll just abandon me like Mom and Dad anyway. They pretend to be nice in front of me, but they hate me—that's why it annoys me."
His words sounded like a child's tantrum, but the meaning behind them was so heavy.
For a nine-year-old to assume everyone around him would abandon him someday...
How heartbreaking was that?
Meanwhile, unlike me, Ra-hee unnie didn't know Jun-woo's backstory.
She looked shocked at the sudden sad tale.
I should've explained beforehand—this was my mistake.
"So, Jun-woo, you're never going to make friends or family your whole life?"
"Yeah."
"Because you think they'll all end up hating you someday anyway?"
"...Yeah."
I see.
That was the darkness in Jun-woo's heart.
Jun-woo didn't hate people, exactly.
More precisely, he hated the idea of getting hurt.
And in a way, that was a lot like the old me.
Of course, my situation had been a bit different.
I wasn't like Jun-woo, pushing people away out of fear of being abandoned again.
I'd felt utterly abandoned by the world, convinced I'd never receive love again, and given up.
"Jun-woo, can you listen to me for a bit? I've been through something really similar to you."
"...To me?"
He seemed surprised that someone as outwardly cheerful as me had gone through something like his.
Jun-woo set down his fork, eyes widening as he stared at me for a long while.
Maybe he was checking my eyes through the slits in my mask.
"Okay."
He nodded, adjusting his posture and turning halfway toward me.
Not fully facing me, but it felt like he'd opened up a little, and a smile bloomed on my face from sheer gratitude.
"In my case, the circumstances were a little different from yours, but I grew up without parents too, just like you."
"Why?"
"My parents died when I was little. Normally, I'd have ended up in a place like this orphanage with other kids, but that didn't happen. Sometimes cases like that come up."
They call it a hole in the welfare system, I suppose.
Because of it, I'd lived alone since I was very young in a crumbling shack up in the slums.
"So I lived alone for over ten years. No friends my age like you have, no teachers looking after me like you do. I'd eat newspaper or, if I got lucky, scavenge some discarded veggies from a market stall."
"N-Newspaper...?"
Oh no, had I shared too dark a story with a kid?
I'd meant to be honest, but ended up blurting out unnecessary details.
No use regretting it now, though. I cleared my throat with a "Ahem" and pressed on casually.
"Anyway, because of that, I thought I'd never receive love my whole life. I wondered if the world hated me, or even if it was wrong for me to have been born."
"......"
Maybe he related a little—Jun-woo nodded faintly.
He'd probably thought the same, blaming himself for it all, just like I had.
When people reach their limit, they start thinking that way.
Maybe it wasn't the world's fault, but mine for being born into it.
Maybe my very existence was wrong, and I should just vanish from the world.
"But you know what? Things are different now."
"H-How...?"
"When I turn on my stream, thousands of people tell me they like me, that they love me. And lots of people who hug me, pat my head, and cherish me like a little sister or friend."
"Stream...? Are you a singer, unnie?"
Oh, right—the kids here don't know I'm an influencer.
The most they'd know is singers or celebrities, so he looked a bit surprised.
Hard to explain here, so I'll say it's similar.
I do sing, after all. Yeah.
"Something like that. Anyway, not real family, but people more precious than family came into my life. Even Luke unnie here always says I'm like her close little sister."
"That's right. One of the sisters I treasure most in the world."
"......"
Jun-woo stared at us silently for a long time, saying nothing.
He was probably trying to judge if we meant it.
But peering at our eyes through the mask slits must have been tough.
Tap—
"Da-jeong...?"
"It's fine, unnie."
So I carefully removed my mask and faced him directly.
Ra-hee unnie's worried voice came from beside me, but I ignored it.
This moment—facing Jun-woo with honest eyes—was more important than hiding some minor blemish.
"So, Jun-woo, I won't tell you to 'stop hating other people!' You have your pain, and you didn't choose to end up like this. I understand that better than anyone."
I stroked his head, maintaining eye contact as I continued.
Just moments ago, he'd flinched away if I got too close, but now he quietly accepted my touch, nodding.
"Instead, remember this: You're someone who will be loved by many, and you'll gain wonderful family and friends like I did, and be happier than anyone."
"...Really?"
"Yes, really. So you don't have to change right away, but don't think the teachers or friends being kind to you is fake. Know that they genuinely like you and care for you. Got it?"
"......Yeah."
His initial cold attitude was gone without a trace—he nodded obediently.
Of course, it wouldn't be easy right away.
Changing your heart and taking that first step is always the hardest part.
I knew that from experience.
But Jun-woo could do it.
I decided to believe that, at least.
Having just one person in the world who believes in you gives you so much strength—I'd felt it countless times.
"And next time I visit, if you have lots of friends, I'll give you a gift as thanks. Promise!"
"Hmph, no thanks. I'm not a kid."
"You are a kid..."
"I'm not!"
Emboldened, I even tried to pinky promise, but he seemed embarrassed.
His attitude snapped back to normal, and he turned his head away coldly.
I got an earful for adding that extra tease, of course.
Hehe, but this side of him is cute too.
Aigoo, so adorable.
"S-Stop patting me! You're a kid yourself!"
"Kid?! I-I'm not a kid! I'm an adult!"
"Kiddo! Kiddo, kiddo, kiddo!"
"Nyaaah!"
I'd tried to wrap it up maturely, but Jun-woo poked my sore spot.
In the end, we devolved into childish bickering.