Chapter 78
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 78
Chapter Title: The Mayor's Plan
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A few days passed.
"Ah, this damn rain just won't let up."
Has the sun gone on strike or something?
Does it hate its job in Neo Incheon so much it's handed in its resignation? Ugh, I'm jealous. So damn jealous!
The view outside the window was still gray. The raindrops had thickened even more.
Still, thinking of each raindrop as a hammer chipping away at my approval rating brought me a bit of comfort.
Nerorong...
Nero, sprawled at my feet, let out a groan. The aesthetic of a cat that shunned even a luxury Persian carpet to insist on the cold floor.
Having given up grooming entirely, it lay belly-down on the tile's chill, spread out like melted cheese. Its tail tip twitching now and then was the only proof it was still alive.
"Hey, you're feeling the mayor's anguish too, huh? This muggy sense of responsibility, this sticky devotion to duty. Right? Yeah?"
Of course, it was probably just pissed off about the humidity. Fur balls suck. I get it.
Anyway, my plan was going swimmingly.
The no-countermeasures disaster response plan, dubbed 'Plan N (Nothing)'.
Swimmingly? Nah, maybe sinking would be more accurate.
My fame and approval rating were sinking like the Titanic, majestic and all.
Citizens' frustration was piercing the heavens, and the media was blasting the city hall daily for lacking a control tower.
Internet communities were churning out mocking memes like 'Out fishing while the city's flooding and still clueless'.
Perfect. Couldn't be more perfect.
Approval rating must be plummeting straight down.
By this weekend, it'd be halved to the 30s, maybe even the dream 20s?
On the day impeachment passes, I'll tearfully tell the citizens:
'Citizens, forgive this inadequate man!'
Of course, inwardly, I'll be popping champagne.
"Nero, this is the politics of non-action. Achieve everything by doing nothing. Old man Laozi would leap from his grave applauding this philosophy."
Nero flipped its gooey body over and looked up at me instead of answering.
Nyaaaam—
Then it let out a massive yawn.
"Ooh, a yawn of! You're thrilled by my grand plan! Knew you'd get it! My one true confidant, my soulmate!"
I flopped down beside Nero. Gently poked its belly.
"This softness! This bounce! True wisdom lies within. Belly fat that renders all power struggles and ideological wars meaningless!"
This time, I tickled its jelly-like paw pads. Nero flinched and pulled its paw away.
"Pulling away the paw! Raising a cautionary note! Too hasty and backlash from public opinion hits. Profound advice! Got it! I'll heed your wisdom and practice incompetence prudently!"
Nyaong.
Nero made a sound that could be reply or yawn, then flattened itself back on the floor.
Knock knock.
The knock ended my delusion theater.
"Mayor, you're lying on the floor again. Trying to sync with Nero? Or plotting world conquest together?"
"Ahem! This is... my way of gauging public sentiment. Feeling citizens' pain from the lowest place... a noble act!"
Seria ignored me, set a stack of documents on my desk. They were closer to soggy pulp.
"Documents for approval."
"Hm."
I sat up and stared gravely at them. Of course, I didn't read. No need. All rejected anyway.
This was my new tactic. Non-response operation.
Reject everything, delay everything, reduce all to nothing.
"First, the Seogu Industrial Complex's third drainage pump station has shut down from overload. Flood damage reported in nearby factory zones. Namdong-gu's Mansu Stream is at flood risk; evacuation advisories issued for riverside residential areas. Jung-gu Chinatown's underground drains have mysterious backflow."
I cracked my eyes open slightly.
"Mayor, this is the Emergency Reinforcement Construction approval from the Safety Management Headquarters for flood-prone areas. Even now..."
Seria slid a stack across my desk.
"On hold."
I declared solemnly.
"Seria, you think pushing construction in this downpour is reasonable? What about our precious workers' safety? If an accident happens in this storm, whose responsibility is it?"
Safety? Humanitarianism? Just fancy packaging for 'don't wanna do it'.
"I, Lee Garam! Am a mayor who cherishes every Neo Incheon citizen's life. I can't allow such inhumane measures."
Seria's eyebrow twitched faintly.
"But Mayor, skipping construction now puts more citizens at flood risk."
"That's hindsight. We pursue procedural justice. Ends don't justify means. I, Lee Garam! Can't be a heartless mayor valuing workers' lives lightly! Halt all site work until rain stops and safety's assured!"
I impressed myself. Was I always this eloquent? Magic of rhetoric packaging incompetence.
"Next. What else?"
"Infrastructure expansion and aging drain replacement long-term plan. Using this incident as..."
"Rejected."
No hesitation.
"Seria, you know our city's finances? Where's the money for civil works! That could buy pitiful citizens extra bread at Insim-dang! Rain stops eventually, water dries. That's nature. No need to panic."
'Too stingy to spend' spun into verbose grandeur.
Am I a political genius? In incompetent corrupt official category, sure.
"Next, citizen complaints. Phones ringing off hook demanding flood countermeasures. ' and resume work' notices aren't calming anger anymore. Complaint board's crashed from 'What the hell is the mayor doing?'."
Even better! Get madder! Rage more!
Inwardly partying, but face stayed grave.
"Hm. Citizens anxious. Understand, but overreacting. Send safety text from city hall: 'Citizens, and resume work'."
Got a method for this.
When internal strife peaks, create external enemy. Classic, but foolproof.
"Leak to media: 'Real cause of this downpour is Seoul's reckless Paldang Dam release. Neo Incheon's victim of wicked Seoul bastards' man-made disaster'. Why bear all blame? Unfair, right? Dying of injustice here!"
"Seoul'll sue for defamation."
"Blame central government then. Shouldn't this be national disaster system level? Why dump on a mere mayor! Clear national disaster. Propose special disaster zone to central gov, all support from national funds!"
Rights to Lee Garam. Responsibility to government.
Blame others. Shift responsibility. Basic for incompetent leaders.
Seria said nothing now. Just stared quietly. Very quietly.
Her eyes screamed 'he's finally lost it', but whatever.
It's true! Spinning wildly to return from Mayor Lee Garam to Citizen Lee Garam!
"Haa."
Seria sighed softly.
"Mayor. This rainy season's off."
"Off? Heavy rain weird? We socially agreed to call it rainy season."
"Not just downpour. Simultaneous across city, hitting weakest spots like precisely planned."
"Drop conspiracy theories, Seria. World's not that dramatic. Just bad luck."
Just heavy rain, why read meaning or craft stories?
"Not conspiracy. Major drains failing simultaneously. Damage patterns simultaneous, abnormal. Can't be coincidence."
Seria shoved tablet PC in my face. Screen showed ravaged Neo Incheon map.
Wait.
This real?
Jung-gu Chinatown drowned in red mud, Namdong-gu Guwol-dong Rodeo Street a river. Michuhol-gu lowlands couldn't open doors.
"Uh... this... looks serious. This our Neo Incheon?"
Not the 'bit of rain' I imagined.
"When did it get this bad?"
My voice shrank.
"You'd know if you read the report."
"Who reads soggy paper piles! Saw 'flood something', thought puddles! Citizens toss shoes, that level!"
I'm innocent. Ignorant, not malicious. If ignorance sin, who's sinless? I'm guiltless!
"Seogu Industrial Complex, Namdong-gu Juan, Michuhol-gu Dohwa-dong, Jung-gu Sinpo-dong. Simultaneous sewer backflow at key spots."
Seria explained calmly.
"Not just backflow. Reports: manholes shooting dozens of meters up, fountains erupting. Like someone manipulating water pressure artificially."
"Who'd do crazy shit? Just humans powerless before nature's might?"
"Really? Explain this then."
She swiped. Satellite photo of Ara Waterway lock near Han River estuary.
"Ara Waterway salinity spiking abnormally. Seawater pushing deep inland against freshwater. At this rate, entire Neo Incheon water system contaminated in days."
"Uh... um... that..."
Honestly shocked. Thought neighborhood flooding, citizen inconvenience.
Didn't foresee city-wide drinking water crisis.
"Left unchecked, escalates beyond floods to massive water shortage. Worst case, casualties."
This is serious!
I want incompetent mayor image, not psycho endangering hundreds of thousands!
But suddenly playing competent now wastes all effort. Tower of incompetence crumbles.
Dilemma.
Conscience vs. ambition.
Humanity vs. plan.
Damn. Why's world so complicated?
Can't it be simple: incompetent, impeached, done?
Why add moral dilemma!
"Well, if anxious, we got heroes? Special Task Force too. Super capable. They'll handle. No worry."
Yeah. I'm crisis improvisation master, crisis management wizard Lee Garam.
Key: show I'm incompetent but 'my subordinates' competent.
Mayor's authority: wield competent underlings!
And earn their resentment in process.
"Seria."
"Yes, Mayor."
"Contact Special Task Force and Hero Association now. Mobilize all members and heroes for civilian support ops."
Inwardly cheered.
Army days, civilian support sucked most.
Endless shoveling, dirt hauling. -20C blizzards, all-night snow clearing nightmares.
'Serving citizens' excuse for manual labor fest!
"...Civilian support?"
"Yeah. Shovels out, unclog sewers, rebuild walls, haul flooded furniture. Beautiful service to citizens. Looks great. Send ample shovels, sandbags."
"Special Task Force created for anti-villain and special disasters. Using for basic civilian support is blatant waste..."
"Isn't this special disaster needing citizen aid? Am I wrong?"
Yeah, opportunity.
Make elite-of-elites shovel dirt?
Their pride, morale tanks.
All blame arrows point where?
Me, issuer: Lee Garam!
Incompetent mayor using crack troops as laborers. Thrilling.
Especially steel-woman Captain Kang Jiyeong: 'We're sword and shield protecting citizens, not construction grunts!' She'd flip out.
Hatred for me plummets. See me as bastard. Perfect!
Prime chance to wreck recently good Special Task Force relations.
Reclaim glorious 'trash boss mayor' title!
I hit speakerphone, dialed Captain Kang Jiyeong direct.
Ring ring—
[Special Task Force Overall Captain Kang Jiyeong. What's up.]
"Captain Kang. City's flooding everywhere. Need full Special Task Force mobilization for civilian support. Citizens suffering."
Now rage! Scream unjust order!
I perked ears expectantly. But breaking expectations...
[Understood.]
"...Huh?"
[Surely deep intent behind Mayor's order. Handling immediately. Bye.]
Click.
"See? Told you. Who disobeys mayor."
I feigned calm, hung up.
Wait? Why 'understood'? Why obey so meekly?
Kang Jiyeong can't stand injustice, defies unfair orders even at swordpoint.
Deep intent? Shoveling got what deep? Just dig deep!
Since when's mighty Captain Kang Jiyeong so soft!