Chapter 58
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 58
Chapter Title: The Mayor's Peace
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'Today' is such a convenient word.
A word that hints at the inertial peace guaranteeing that yesterday's routine will be no different from today, and tomorrow won't be much different either.
Yes, today as well, I, the incompetent mayor of Neo Incheon, had abandoned my mountain of paperwork.
Two o'clock in the afternoon.
Languor and boredom—other names for peace.
The mayor's duty is to guarantee peace for the citizens.
Therefore, it could be said that me savoring this languid peace first is simply part of fulfilling my official duties.
I nodded in admiration at my own sophistry.
Meanwhile, at the top of the premium solid wood cat tower in the mayor's office.
There lounged a tricolor cat, the official mascot of Neo Incheon City Hall.
Her Imperial Majesty Nero Claudius Caesar Augustus Germanicus was baking bread.
Meow~
Her front paws neatly tucked under her body, eyes half-closed in satisfaction.
Her cotton-ball-like body rising and falling in steady rhythm.
What else could symbolize peace if not that?
Approval documents? Complaint reports? Those trivial matters were for my capable secretary, Seria Park, to handle.
The pinnacle of power doesn't work. It simply reigns.
"Ahem."
I cleared my throat and rose from my chair.
Tch. She noticed.
Sensing my movement, Nero's ears twitched slightly.
Now began the mayor's true duties in earnest.
"Nero."
I approached softly, calling her name, but she merely glanced at me with a slight turn of her head, as if annoyed.
"You can't sleep. Let's play. Come on? Play with me. Your mayor is bored."
Nero swished her tail once against the floor, as if to say it was a hassle.
But I wouldn't back down. I, Lee Garam, wasn't one to yield to such minor resistance.
I was this city's mayor. By the mayor's authority, I forbade your nap!
"You're this city's mascot. A being showered with the citizens' love. Thus, you have a grave responsibility and duty to please their representative—the mayor!"
Nyaaawn...
Nero responded with a massive yawn.
My grand speech had apparently lulled her to sleep.
Our communication method was flawed.
Time to change strategies.
Practice over theory. Action over words.
I strode forward and targeted Nero's side as she tried to nap.
"Come on, let's play. Let's have some fun. Yeah?"
I poked her side with my fingers and gently grabbed her soft belly.
The sensation transmitted through my fingertips.
Squishy. Squishy. Plushy.
This wasn't just any cat's texture. It wasn't any earthly material.
An unknown divine substance existing somewhere between liquid and solid.
Yes, I christen it Neroium.
Feels solid when touched, but sink your fingers just a bit deeper, and it yields like liquid.
What were those Furry Evolution bastards thinking, classifying this perfect creature as a failure?
I should've confiscated all their research notes and burned them. I should monopolize this precious technology.
Aoong~
Nero let out a dissatisfied groan and twisted her body.
I ignored it and began kneading her body with both hands.
Miraculously, not a single hair came loose.
Impossible for an ordinary cat. Nero wasn't just any cat. She was a perfect organism.
"Nero's a slime, a Nero slime. Right?"
As if answering, Nero stretched her body long, then suddenly curled it up. Like a living accordion.
She clearly looked annoyed, but even so, Nero let me continue.
She knew at least the basic courtesy toward her owner.
She was so unbearably cute and lovable that I couldn't hold back and scooped her up in a hug.
"Come here! Accept my love! This is the mayor's affection! You're receiving my burning passion for Neo Inchon's citizens in their stead!"
I rubbed my cheeks furiously against her.
Her soft fur tickled my skin.
It was right then.
Ne-ro-long~
Nero made a very cute yet ominous sound.
The next moment, my vision was entirely covered in tricolor fur.
Poof.
With that sensation, I was perfectly pinned to the floor.
Filling my sight was Nero's massively enlarged body.
She—she had squashed me!
"Ugh, hey... Get off me right now! This is insubordination! Clear-cut treason against the mayor!"
But there was no oppressive pressure as I'd expected.
She must have controlled her strength.
If anything, it felt like my whole body was wrapped in a gigantic, warm, unbelievably fluffy comforter.
"Hey! You rascal! Stop messing around and turn back into small, cute Nerolong!"
I wasn't suffocating, but with my strength, escape was impossible.
Was this the property of the new substance Neroium? Softness conquers strength.
After struggling for a while, it suddenly hit me.
Huh?
This... isn't half bad, actually?
Fluffy... warm... cozy.
A faint sunny scent wafted from Nero's body, tickling my nose.
The steady 'purr' was the ultimate white noise.
My vision blocked—no approval documents in sight.
This place... a perfect escape.
The one sanctuary evading Seria's surveillance net.
An absolute defense space no special agent or audit enforcer could find.
My secret hideout! My Shangri-La!
"Heh heh heh..."
Laughter bubbled up.
Yes, this was it.
Slacking off just like this.
Should I just nap right here?
Whispering into Nero's belly from beneath her,
"Good job, Nero. Maintain this state. If the woodcutter—no, the lady secretary—comes looking, tell her I flew out the window. Got it? I'll reward you with ten cans of your favorite premium tuna."
Even if Seria came in, she'd just see a giant sleeping cat. Who'd imagine the mayor was underneath?
I'd succeeded in going stealth. All that remained was sweet sleep.
How much time passed?
The mayor's office door opened.
Click, click, click.
Rhythmic, merciless heels.
The merciless, ice-cold secretary, Seria, had arrived.
I held my breath.
My heart pounded fiercely.
I couldn't get caught. If I did, my peace was over.
Please, just pass by.
"Mayor?"
Her voice calling for me.
Shh. I'm not here.
I'm inspecting the Magpie Village redevelopment site right now. Or maybe eating dakgangjeong at Sinpo Market.
At the very least, I'm not in this office.
"......"
A brief silence.
"What exactly are you doing under Nero?"
How did she know? Did she have superpowers to detect my presence? Or did I breathe too loudly?
"...Lee Garam... not here..."
"Stop the childish hide-and-seek even elementary kids wouldn't do. I can distinguish your pathetic aura even in a crowd of a million."
"No, really! Lee Garam flew out the window earlier! I'm... I'm just passerby Citizen A, squashed by a cat!"
"Why would passerby Citizen A be in the mayor's office?"
"Th-that's...! Nero was so cute, I came to see and...!"
"Haa..."
I could almost hear Seria's sigh.
What was she thinking, seeing this massive cat lump?
"Nero. Come here."
That instant.
The pressure pinning me down, my cozy personal sanctuary, vanished in a flash.
Shooo~
My vision brightened.
Before me was Nero, back to her small size, tail wrapped around Seria's leg.
And beyond her, Seria's cold turquoise eyes looking down at me, arms crossed.
"Mayor."
She spoke.
"What were you doing hiding under the cat?"
I shot to my feet, brushed off my clothes, and brazenly shouted,
"I was in deep communion with Nero! A sacred ritual to bond the mascot and the mayor!"
"Ah, I see."
Seria replied without batting an eye.
"That sacred ritual must be why your suit is all wrinkled. At first, I thought a cockroach had been squashed. Our apologies—your intelligence levels are similar, so I got confused for a moment."
"Guhk...!"
A bone-chilling barb.
But I couldn't back down here.
I shifted the topic.
"More importantly, Nero! What the hell?!"
I pointed accusingly at Nero acting cute at Seria's feet.
Meow?
"Why do you ignore me completely but obey Seria so well?! I rescued you from the streets! I built you that massive Catopia! You ungrateful cat!"
Seria chuckled at my outburst.
"Isn't it obvious, Mayor?"
She bent down, gently stroking Nero's back.
"Think about who's been feeding Nero lately, giving treats, brushing her fur every day, and taking her for walks."
"......That's."
I had no rebuttal. It was all true.
Seria scooped up Nero lightly. Nero purred contentedly in her arms.
"Now, enough playtime. Get to work. You'll be staying late to make up for slacking off."
I admitted defeat and trudged to my desk.
Why did nothing ever go my way?
As I slumped into my chair, about to despairingly pick up the documents,
"As a special treat today, you may work with Nero on your lap. Does that console you a bit?"
"Thanks a bunch."
"You're welcome. You and cats suit each other."
"Not sure if that's a compliment or an insult."
"Both."
Seria gently placed Nero on my lap.
Nero settled in naturally and began purring.
The warm heat and soft texture transmitted through my lap.
...Fine, whatever.
This much, I could handle a bit of paperwork.
Just a little. A tiny bit.
Everything in the world has an expiration date.
Canned goods, milk, even love.
How much shorter must my patience for the paperwork before me be?
The start was good. Yes, I admit it.
This little life baking bread on my lap.
Nero's presence was an oasis in the desert, a single flower blooming in a harsh labor site.
Warm body heat, soft fur, rhythmic purring.
All these elements combined to boost my work motivation from zero to about 0.1.
The problem was that was it.
Exactly ten minutes. The shelf life of my patience was a measly ten minutes.
"Haa..."
I stared at the red approval stamp in my hand. Lee Garam. My name emblazoned on it, symbolizing the mayor's authority.
One press of this small object. With that single act, billions, tens of billions in city budget moved.
Thinking about it, what an irresponsible system.
Matters deciding the city's fate settled with a mere wrist flick.
Thud.
I stamped mechanically. The Neo Incheon Port logistics improvement plan was approved.
My hands moved on their own, regardless of my will.
My left hand stroking Nero on my lap, my right stamping documents.
Like two beings with separate personalities.
One in heaven, one in hell.
Clear discrimination. Unfair labor exploitation of my right hand.
As chairman of the Right Hand Labor Union, I ought to declare a strike against this injustice.
"Mayor."
As my inner turmoil raged, an icy voice pierced through.
"Your hand has stopped. Has a localized strike broken out in your right hand, perhaps?"
Seria. This woman must have bugged my brain.
"No! This... this is contemplation time! All approvals require deliberation! I was reviewing if the port logistics plan I just passed was truly the best!"
"You've already stamped it."
"Stamping isn't the end! Post-review is also a key mayoral duty!"
I spouted plausible nonsense while squirming. My butt fidgeted. The boredom was unbearable.
This wouldn't do. I had to escape. From this prison of tedium, this mountain of documents.
I quietly convened the 'Lee Garam Internal Emergency Countermeasures Committee.'
Agenda: How to slack off most naturally and legally.
Chairman Lee Garam (me) spoke.
'Alright, committee members. Any good ideas?'
Unmotivated Self 1 raised a hand.
'Acute appendicitis? Clutch your stomach and collapse. Classic and effective.'
Cynical Self 2 immediately countered.
'Forgot Seria's malingering detector is more precise than national forensics? She'd see through it in 0.1 seconds and drag you to forced labor.'
True. Rejected.
Timid Self 3 cautiously suggested.
'Then... sudden Nero allergy...?'
'You've been hugging and rubbing her for an hour—now allergy? What's the incubation period on your cat hair allergy, an hour? A virus?'
Rejected.
Ah, my head hurts. If I had to think this hard, might as well work.
No. Absolutely not.
Thinking to work versus thinking to avoid work are dimensions apart.
The former is slave mentality, the latter free man's philosophy.
Right then.
'Emergency livelihood inspection!'
Revolutionary Self 4 shouted.
'A leader belongs on the front lines! Claim we must go out now to hear the citizens' voices!'
Oh, that's good.
Problem was where. Pick wrong, and Seria dismisses with 'That site's already been reported by the'.
I needed something... urgently critical, vitally important, requiring the mayor's personal intervention. A perfect excuse.
My mental database spun wildly.
Brain cells mobilized to find the optimal slacking pretext.
Recent Neo Incheon incidents, complaints, reports...
Then one word flashed through my mind.
Magpie Village.
Yes! The Magpie Village redevelopment issue!
A horrific memory resurfaced.
Catopia. That festival-like place suddenly charged by a dump truck.
The culprits: Magpie Village anti-redevelopment protesters.
Though our hero Nero easily blocked it with gigantification, the more I thought, the more outrageous they were.
How dare they! At sacred Catopia! Where my cute Nero was! Splashing mud?
This wasn't mere protest. A direct challenge to the mayor's authority, blatant terror against Neo Inchon's official mascot.
Unforgivable.
Bubbling.
Rage boiled up.
Magpie Village. Neo Inchon's historic neighborhood. Slated for redevelopment. Residents fiercely protesting.
In the original story, reasons weren't detailed. Just 'residents protecting their homes'.
Standard redevelopment dispute so far.
But digging deeper, one oddity.
Unusually many superpowered folks among residents.
They banded together, protecting each other, so City Hall and developers couldn't touch it easily. A headache area.
That's right.
My rage-cooled head chilled further.
And there, a new plan sprouted. A very wicked, meticulous one.
Revenge.
Deliver the iron fist of retribution to those who threatened my precious Nero and disrupted my peaceful slacking.
And in the process, I'd earn glorious(?) titles: 'cold-blooded mayor without pity or tears', 'henchman for greedy developers stealing the common folk's homes'.
Approval ratings would tank, impeachment calls spread like wildfire.
A golden chance to achieve personal revenge and public self-destruction simultaneously!
...Honestly, even just getting a few to hate me would suffice.
My Hatred Mileage Project was underway in secret!
I shot up. Startled, Nero slid off my lap.
"Seria! Bring all Magpie Village redevelopment files immediately!"
"One minute you're squirming to avoid a single stamp, now what's this? Planning another incident?"
"Incident? Rude! This is a great decision for Neo Inchon's century-long future! Cut rotten branches or the whole tree rots! I'll personally prune the rotten branch blocking our city's progress—Magpie Village!"
I clenched my fists and ranted passionately.
Seria stared silently for a moment.
"Understood."
A faint smile tugged at her lips. Pretty, but irritating.
"We'll prepare to implement your great decision at once. Looking forward to your exploits this time."
Wait for it, magpies. This body will personally demolish your nests.
Project Magpie Nest Buster—ignition!