Chapter 48
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 48
Chapter Title: The Mayor and Harmony
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Epilogue of this story.
There is a word called success.
There is also a word called failure.
They say everything in the world can be clearly divided into these two categories.
A successful life, a failed life. A successful operation, a failed operation. A successful dish, a failed dish.
But, but you see.
What if, just what if.
A meticulously planned failure ends up succeeding so brilliantly.
Is that a success? Or a failure?
Like Schrödinger's cat, a superposition of success and failure until observed.
No.
Correction.
Upon observation, it turned into a clear success, so this is just a failed failure.
Failed at failing, so is this a success?
Aah, my head hurts. I'm trapped in an infinite loop of sophistry.
"………."
The thing that had melted into a puddle of liquid on my lap began to slowly regain its form, squirming and wriggling.
Not a slime.
It was our house cat, the guardian deity of Neo Incheon, Lord Nero.
From liquid to jelly state, then to a chewy rice cake-like solid, completing its phase change. Nero purred contentedly.
"Snacks on the desk."
His ears perked up.
And in the next moment, his body stretched out long.
1 meter, 2 meters, 3 meters... stretching toward the catnip cookies on my desk.
He slurped up the treat and snapped back to his original length in an instant.
Nerolong~
As if nothing had happened, he rested his chin on my lap and closed his eyes again.
I'm more terrified of myself now, no longer startled by that bizarre sight.
Humans are animals of adaptation, they say.
This isn't adaptation. It's resignation. Enlightenment. Acceptance.
Knock knock.
I jolted upright at the knock on the office door.
"Come in."
The Iron Lady herself, Special Task Force Captain Kang Jiyeong, entered.
Her uniform impeccably perfect, without a single wrinkle, as always. Her eyes sharp and serious, as always.
And mixed into that seriousness was an emotion I'd never seen in her before.
Suddenly. Newly. Impressive.
Ah, I hate it. Those eyes. So burdensome.
I even miss the old days when she looked at me with utter contempt, like I was a pathetic worm.
"Mayor, reporting in."
"Ah, Captain Kang. Come in. What's the matter? Did you wipe out another villain somewhere in the city without me knowing?"
She stood at attention before my desk and spoke.
"The follow-up investigation results from the Furry Evolution sweep operation are in."
"Ah, those furry club friends. How are they doing these days? All getting along in cozy animal pajamas at the Ganghwa Island detention center?"
"I was amazed again. No, appalled."
"At what? I was just sitting on the sofa."
"Your humility is excessive. Cross-verifying the Furry Evolution materials we secured and the confessions from the arrested Cat Mom Alliance revealed everything."
Revealed?
What? The truth that I'm an incompetent, corruption-stained mayor who should be impeached immediately?
Is my petty, pathetic, small-minded true nature finally exposed?!
Please! Please say it is!
"That Bupyeong Cat Mom Alliance... they were a lower organization supplying experimental cats to Furry Evolution, essentially cat procurers. They illegally captured and bred stray cats, selecting only those with special traits conducive to superpowered manifestations for supply."
"Hoo, I see."
"Thanks to you arresting the Cat Moms first, we interrogated them, secured key confessions, and swiftly apprehended Furry Evolution before they could escape. Any delay, and they would've shut down the underground lab and vanished. Did you foresee all this from the start?"
"Of course."
Cold sweat poured internally, but I answered nonchalantly.
Such a massive secret hidden there.
I'd just wanted to knock over some annoying Cat Mom food bowls. How did I end up uprooting an international crime syndicate?
"When you first designated the Cat Mom Alliance as an illegal superpowered group and ordered their sweep, I was honestly puzzled."
Kang Jiyeong confessed.
"Their behavior was irrational, sure, but not a threat warranting the Special Task Force. I thought it was personal payback for nearly getting mobbed by them."
No! That's exactly it! Your judgment was spot-on without error! I was just pissed off!
My inner self screamed. But what came out was:
"Haha. As if. Would I move the city's elite forces over petty emotions?"
"As expected. Allow me to apologize for my shortsightedness on this occasion."
"……."
"Truly, a chillingly meticulous plan. The Special Task Force merely danced on the stage you set."
No.
I didn't set a stage. I dug my own grave.
So why are you lot hauling the coffin and dancing samba and breakdancing in it?
It's a grave! A place for the dead to rest quietly!
"Haha. Don't say that. I merely lit a tiny spark. Turning it into a torch of justice is all your merit, Captain Kang, and your valiant Special Task Force."
"Mayor..."
Kang Jiyeong saluted.
"Then I'll take my leave. The Special Task Force will always be the sword and shield of the citizens."
"Good work, Captain Kang."
The door closed, and silence returned to the mayor's office.
I stared blankly at the ceiling and let out a deep sigh.
Beep-
Habitually grabbing the remote, I turned on the large wall-mounted TV.
A breaking news alert appeared on screen.
My savior or my death sentence?
[Anchor: Yes, viewers. Shocking breaking news just in. Lee Garam's innovative animal protection policy that stirred up Neo Incheon, the so-called Nekonomics, has been revealed as part of an operation to expose the horrific illegal biolab of the massive villain group Furry Evolution!]
Ah.
Death sentence.
[Anchor: Experts are analyzing Mayor's Nekonomics project not just as animal welfare, but a sophisticated strategy preemptively eliminating potential threats to the city. Praise pours in for his foresight, starting from a small cat issue to uprooting massive evil!]
Foresight?
I was just annoyed by the Cat Moms in front of me.
This is an amazing paradigm shift! Good intentions to protect animals became the sword judging animal abusers! Lee Garam is a true leader practicing animal love!
The screen showed a prominent Catopia veterinarian passionately speaking.
That vet bastard... getting revenge for my snide remark last time?
No.
I just wanted to waste taxes and get impeached.
The animal protection groups that had been issuing criticism statements against me flipped faster than light.
We misunderstood Mayor Lee Garam's deep intentions. We sincerely apologize and declare full support for him, for the sake of our doggies' welfare too!
Coo coo! Mayor Garam truly knows heaven's will! We will flap our wings for him gladly! Coo coo!
We were hasty! Mayor Lee Garam is the true friend of reptiles! Glory to the mayor!
Dog lovers, pigeon fans, even reptile enthusiasts.
All united in praising me.
They firmly believed I sponsored cats not out of favoritism, but suspecting the Cat Mom Alliance's backers and to strike down the crime syndicate.
Expecting that such a righteous and wise mayor would one day bestow favors on them too.
Weren't these the same people calling me a dictator and discriminator just yesterday?
Another... failure...
I wanted resentment and criticism. Hatred mileage.
Yet I ended the millennium war between dog lovers and cat lovers, bringing harmony encompassing pigeons and reptiles in the animal world.
But what I got was mountains of tourism revenue, skyrocketing approval ratings, and...
The screen switched to street interviews with citizens.
Our mayor is amazing! Scolding the bad guys who bully cats! I'll grow up to be a hero like the mayor!
I, uh, actually misunderstood the mayor before. Thought he was stealing our cats. But no. The real bad guys were elsewhere, and the mayor exposed them. I'll support him for life now!
Lee Garam... he's a god!
All forces opposing me, everyone mocking me, even the Cat Moms who wanted me dead.
All uniting under the name 'Lee Garam,' staging a grand harmony.
Today too, my modest dream of escape shattered to pieces.
[Anchor: ...Riding this wave, citizens are nicknaming Mayor Lee Garam the 'Cat Mayor.' Even the official mascot cat Nero at Neo Incheon City Hall. Their moves are drawing attention.]
"Urk."
A groan escaped me unwittingly.
The mental shock was too great.
On my lap, Nero—the culprit of this tragedy—stretched lazily.
His body extended like rubber. Front and back paws each stretching 2 meters in a bizarre stretching form.
Then he curled up round again and started rubbing his head against my palm.
Meow.
"...Cat life is the best, huh, you rascal."
I leaned back in the plush chair.
Purr... Purr...
The most peaceful sound in the world.
I gently kneaded his soft, squishy belly.
This softness, this warmth.
Yeah.
Even if the world misunderstands me, my plans all go awry, and I'm called the 'Cat Mayor.'
As long as I have this belly, I might just survive somehow.
"Yeah, you get it, right? As long as you understand me."
Meow.
Nero responded by softly licking my finger.
Whether pity or just smelling churu on my hand, who knows.
Probably the latter.
There are two kinds of people in the world.
Those who pass by a cat without a word, and those who try to say something to a cat no matter what.
After getting the 'Cat Mayor' nickname, my life became all about cats.
Citizens greeted me with 'meow-meow,' and staff snuck treats to me in the hallways.
I gave up resisting.
In this Möbius strip fate where planned successes fail and planned failures succeed, there was nothing I could do.
Just entrust myself to the flowing river, waiting for the misunderstandings to dry up someday.
Days passed.
Mountains of documents, endless approvals. Exploding approval ratings brought exploding workloads.
I shuffled zombie-like down the hall to the mayor's office. My hand lacked strength to grip the doorknob.
Aah, overtime again today.
Seria. The iron-willed secretary. The blood-and-tears-free pink-haired demon. What hellish schedule awaited me this time?
Creeak-
I opened the door as quietly as possible, without a sound.
If she was napping, I'd sneak to the sofa for 30 minutes of sweet rest.
Harboring such petty hope.
The mayor's office was eerily quiet.
And at the center of that silence, I beheld it.
Something I shouldn't have seen.
One of humanity's great mysteries.
On par with the Bermuda Triangle, alien existence, flat Earth theory.
My secretary, Seria Park.
The embodiment of icy impassivity.
She was kneeling slightly, eye-level with Nero sprawled on my desk.
"Here, Nerolong. A reward."
Churu in her hand.
Her voice was the same as always. Businesslike, dry, devoid of emotional fluctuation.
But, but you see.
0.1 octave higher—no, 0.25 octave, subtly excited tone.
Like a perfectly tuned piano with one key half a step off. That dissonance.
I could discern the difference clearly.
As Nero kneaded her hand with rice cake paws, she whispered softly.
"Paw. One more."
Nero extended the other front paw.
"Excellent. Far more intelligent than the mayor."
Her lip corner twitched up, barely visible, by a micrometer.
I held my breath.
This was a scoop. A discovery of the century. The thrill Columbus felt discovering the New World.
She lifted Nero oh-so-gently, like fragile porcelain.
Streeetch-
"Stretch more. Your potential is infinite."
Nero languidly extended to the floor.
That moment, I was certain.
She's for real.
Genuinely awed by Nero's rubber powers.
I couldn't hide anymore.
Missing this historic moment, this splendid sight, would betray humanity.
I flung the door wide, yelling in the most obnoxious voice.
"Busted!"
Seria's shoulders stiffened with a twitch.
She tried hiding the churu hand behind her back, but too late.
Nero dangled from it, refusing to let go.
She turned her head slowly, like a rusty machine creaking.
Seria's face was the same as always.
Perfect poker face.
But I clearly saw her cold turquoise eyes waver.
"Well, well, if it isn't our cool and collected Chief Secretary Seria? What were you doing with Nero just now? Trading kitty punches?"
"……."
Seria's eyes slowly refocused.
Pupil earthquake stopped, everything back to normal.
She smoothly revealed the hidden churu.
"Part of my duties."
"Duties? Feeding the cat churu is a duty?!"
"Maintaining peak condition for the mayor's pet and Neo Incheon's mascot, Lord Nero. One of the chief secretary's key tasks. Did you not know? Your ignorance slows comprehension, as expected from your lack of education."
"No, but your tone was different! 'Nerolong~,' 'A reward!' Dripping with affection!"
"Data collection."
"Data?"
"Gathering data on Nero's physical abilities, especially elasticity. Analyzing positive responses to words, tones maximizing body relaxation. 'Reward' in G# scale showed peak efficiency. This data will be invaluable for future mascot projects."
A boring, pedantic excuse.
Too perfect, suspiciously so.
How lame, Seria!
Couldn't miss this chance. A once-in-a-lifetime shot to dent the iron secretary.
"Heh? Really? Not just because Nero's cute? Not smitten by that squishy belly, pink jelly, round eyes?"
I scooped Nero and thrust him before her face.
"Look! Can you still call it data collection facing this cuteness? If you're human with a heart, kneeling to this is natural!"
Nerolong-
Nero meowed oddly.
Seria's gaze flicked to Nero, briefly.
"Saw that? You like cats too, Seria! Should I call you Seria-meow from now on?"
Then it hit.
Chill.
The office temperature plummeted.
Warm sunlight pouring through the window turned to Himalayan winds.
Frosty cold gripped me.
I slowly turned to Seria.
She was smiling.
Mouth smiling, eyes not.
"Mayor."
A chilling bass, echoing from 50 floors underground in Ganghwa supervillain prison.
"What did you just say?"
"Uh... um... Seria... meow...?"
Why say that word again.
I wanted to rip out my tongue.
"A very amusing nickname."
She stepped toward me.
I instinctively backed away.
"I'm always impressed by your creativity, Mayor. So, to channel that overflowing energy into city development, I'll specially assist."
Shuffle shuffle-
[Songdo Skyway Expansion Feasibility Report (178 pages)]
[Cheongna Bio Complex New Tenant Tax Reduction Final Plan (250 pages)]
[International Hero Alliance Northeast Asia Branch Relocation Agreement Draft (312 pages)]
['Sweet Road' Tourism District Designation Traffic Congestion Solution Study Interim Report (485 pages)]
The stack of documents Seria pulled out piled to the ceiling in seconds.
"Now, Mayor. Time for overtime."
Her voice warmed again.
"And."
She gently gripped my chin, lifting it.
Seria's cold turquoise eyes bored into mine.
"You saw nothing, Mayor. You just entered. Right?"
"Y-yeah... Saw nothing... Just came in... You were diligently working as always..."
I answered trembling.
"Excellent. You're getting a bit smarter, Mayor."
She smiled satisfied, releasing my chin.
Then took Nero gently from my hands into her arms.
Nero in Seria's arms tilted his head.
Meow?
The two vanished out the door.
"Kwaaaagh!"
I screamed, buried in the document pile.
Under Neo Incheon's blue sky, my scream echoed hollowly.