Chapter 30
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 30
Chapter Title: The Mayor and Public Sentiment
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A sweet, sticky, and bizarre alliance.
I persuade a villain girl who vows to preach the greatness of bread and turn her into my pawn.
Using her twisted artistic soul, I invade the realm of 'rice,' which could be called the identity of Koreans.
The result? I get impeached, become a free man, and slip away leisurely with the slush funds.
Without physical destruction, without loss of life, achieving my goal by merely touching emotions and culture.
How elegant is this method? A bloodless revolution. A bloodless impeachment.
Yes. I was satisfied. I thought I was satisfied.
At least until the next phase of the process unfolded in my mind.
First. Location selection. Where to open the shop. Foot traffic, surrounding commercial area, parking availability.
Second. Building inspection. Building deterioration, electrical capacity, water facilities. Running ovens will require a lot of electricity. Kneading dough needs clean water.
Third. Interior design. A space throwing down the gauntlet to the 'rice-loving nation.' It needs to be overwhelmingly stylish, provocative, a holy site for hipsters.
Fourth. Promotion and branding. How to package the provocative concept of 'bread made by a villain.' Dangerously attractive. Irresistibly intriguing.
Fifth. Staffing. Sugar Girl handles patisserie, but who does the cashier, serving, cleaning?
Sixth. Legal review. Hygiene laws, fire codes, building regulations. And crucially, hiring a villain.
Seven. Eight. Nine. Ten...
Huh.
Huh?
Wait. Stop.
There are way more things to do than I thought.
This is annoying. Difficult. All in fields I know nothing about.
The moment a shadow fell over my grand, brilliant plan.
My brain isn't made for handling these complex, practical procedures.
I can't waste my precious neurons on such trivial tasks.
My brain is a higher organ dedicated solely to pondering how to appear more incompetently, how to embezzle budgets more perfectly, how to escape this city more safely!
So, there's only one way.
I slowly turned my head to gaze at the figure sitting at the desk.
"Your expression looks like a martyr bearing the weight of the world's burdens. Even though you've just been breathing idly without doing a thing today, as usual."
A cold voice. Sentences like thorny barbs.
Seria Park. My chief secretary.
Yes.
Seria.
I have Seria.
The absolute worst, utterly perfect secretary of mine.
Deus ex machina. My right hand. My...
Seria-mon!
Yes, that's it!
Not a cat-type robot from the future, but a secretary-type problem-solver boasting comparable competence.
She doesn't pull secret gadgets from her pocket, but with her brilliant mind and overwhelming execution, she'll turn all my delusions into reality.
The only minor difference is that instead of cheering her master, she shreds my mentality with sharp sarcasm.
"Seria."
"Yes, Mayor."
"Um... I have a favor to ask."
"Denied."
"I haven't even said it yet!"
Firm rejection. A razor-sharp reply, just like Seria.
"Mayor."
"Yes! Seria!"
"I can tell exactly how pathetic and dependent thoughts are overflowing in your head right now, even without you saying it."
"Ack."
"Why should I turn the delusions from your brain into reality?"
As expected, not easy. But Lee Garam won't back down so easily either.
"Ahem. Delusions? That's harsh. This is a constructive proposal for Neo Incheon's future!"
I launched into sophistry once again today.
"Think about it. C-rank villain Sugar Girl. She's a societal outcast and a dangerous element. But what if we give her a new chance at life? It becomes proof that even villains can be reformed. This will be a monumental project proclaiming Neo Incheon's inclusivity to the world! Guiding a lost lamb—no, a lost lump of sugar—into a proper societal member. A pilot for the noble 'Villain Reformation Program'!"
"A noble Villain Reformation Program."
Seria said in a voice devoid of emotion.
"That's right! Exactly!"
"If it's so noble, shouldn't you follow proper procedures? Submit a business plan to the Planning and Economy Division, consult with Safety Management Headquarters for risk assessment, link with Citizen Welfare Division for program feasibility review, present the budget to the city council, and get approval fair and square."
"......"
"Ah, of course, the odds of passing all that are lower than you voluntarily coming in on weekends."
Ugh. Fact violence.
An arrow named truth. Hit right in the bullseye. Proper procedures.
Just hearing the word makes hives break out all over my body.
Paperwork, meetings, reports, approvals. Terrifying just thinking about it.
"N-No! This isn't for rigid administrative procedures! In this Shorts era, we need swift, flexible governance to keep up with trends! This is... right! Part of the tourist landmark strategy!"
I quickly pivoted the topic.
"A bakery run directly by a villain! How provocative and intriguing! Tourists from across the nation—no, the world—will flock here! It'll become Neo Incheon's new landmark! The economic ripple effects will be enormous!"
"I'm doubtful how many tourists would want bread made by the terrorist who blanketed the city in sugar. More likely, protests demanding why we're unleashing a dangerous figure who might snap and bomb customers' faces with whipped cream right in the city center."
Seria countered without batting an eye.
Urk.
This woman has no gaps.
She precisely targets the logical flaws in my sophistry and shatters them. Like putting my arguments in a nutcracker and smashing mercilessly.
"If you want to open a bakery that badly, just hire someone else. Issue a public bidding notice and formally recruit a skilled patissier. There are plenty far more competent than Sugar Girl, with no criminal record and stable mental health. So why? Why must it be that villain?"
A sharp question.
I took a breath. Few cards left.
"That's because..."
I put on my most serious face.
Neo Incheon's future hangs on my answer.
"...she looks sweet from the start."
"......"
"You can tell at a glance she's devoted her life to sugar and pastries. Gives off a strong vibe she'll excel. The scent of a pro, the aura of a craftsman."
Silence.
"And crucially!"
I didn't stop here. I gathered momentum and drew my final secret weapon.
"She's a villain. Employment contract? What's that? Four insurances? Edible? Minimum wage? Night shift pay? Holiday pay? She has nowhere to report even if I violate labor laws left and right! How efficient is this manpower management! This is true creative economy!"
"Haa......"
A sigh finally escaped Seria's lips.
"No."
Can't win with logic.
Sophistry doesn't work.
Only one method left.
I let go of everything.
The mayor's dignity, a man's pride, human self-respect.
"Seria."
My voice grew endlessly forlorn.
"Do it!"
"......"
"Just do it! I can't do anything without you. I don't know a thing about this complicated stuff. Help me out!!"
Was Canossa's humiliation like this?
The feelings of the Holy Roman Emperor waiting in the snow for the Pope.
Was Samjeondo's humiliation like this?
The Joseon king's heart bowing nine times before the Qing emperor.
The moment 'Mayor’s Office Humiliation' was newly etched into the lineage of historic degradations.
But...
Hold on, Lee Garam!
Endure, Lee Garam!
This humiliation is merely a stepping stone for the great escape!
For that day in a comfy hideout, sipping cocktails and reminiscing this shame!
How much time passed?
"......Understood."
"Really!?"
"However."
Her cool fingertip pointed at my forehead.
"I take no responsibility for any issues arising from this project. I'll testify it was your sole decision, and I merely followed orders."
"Of course! Naturally! All responsibility is mine!"
Seria-mon granted my wish!
The plan is back on track!
"As expected of Seria! You're the best secretary!"
In uncontrollable joy, I tried to hug her tightly.
Thud.
"......?"
A slender finger on my forehead.
Just Seria's delicate index finger, yet my body couldn't advance an inch, as if blocked by an invisible wall.
Screeech!
Even pushing with all my might, not a twitch.
Awkward silence.
I stealthily stepped back. Coughed needlessly and straightened my already straight tie.
"Ahem. Anyway, I'm counting on you."
Two weeks.
The time until my sweet impeachment project hit the chopping block.
A fleeting moment for some, an eternity for others.
In simple terms, our bakery's interior work was complete!
Not that I personally hauled bricks or mixed cement.
I fulfilled my role by handing over a prime city-owned building for peanuts. The rest rolled on its own.
What I did was stand arms crossed, nobly issuing great visions to the staff.
"Hm. That wallpaper color feels too drab, doesn't it? Make it softer like whipped cream, cuter like macarons—pastel tones."
"Lighting should feel like warm caramel syrup melting. Not just bright, but sophisticated! Mood is key!"
"What's with this flow? From entering, picking bread, to checkout—it should flow naturally like water!"
The staff would marvel and nod before my aesthetic sense and genius spatial planning...
If not for Seria's rebuttals.
"Ignore the mayor's comments. Proceed with the original plan."
Demolition espers tear down the building, earth espers erect new walls, telekinesis espers haul materials, pyrokinesis espers weld, cryokinesis espers flash-freeze finishes.
Plumbing. Wiring. Flooring. Wallpaper.
All work completed smoothly.
Then body-enhancement espers carry massive ovens and baking tools like feathers into place.
Anyway, the result of my creative oversight, Seria's precise handling, and overwhelming labor from superpowered workers from who-knows-where.
A city-owned wreck transformed in one day into Neo Incheon's hippest bakery.
This is the architectural revolution of the superpowered age.
That's why people need skills.
And not just that.
The crowning touch for this great project: the bakery's name.
Insimdang ().
House of Benevolent Hearts.
Of course, the true meaning was different.
My desire to flee Neo Incheon.
My wish to lose the people's hearts.
The ultimate name encapsulating my earnest hope for impeachment.
The logo: three overlapping round breads.
First bread: 'Incheon.' Second: 'people.' Third: 'impeachment.'
Officially packaged as 'bread, people, and love,' of course.
Hypocrisy is the basics of politics, after all.
"What do you think, Seria? My branding strategy. Perfect, right?"
"Yes. A name perfectly matching your intellectual level, Mayor."
"Right! Matching my intellectual... Huh?"
Something subtly stung just now. Imagination?
With bakery opening prep done, time to march to my battlefield: SNS.
I unleashed the mayor's fearsome philosophy on the Insimdang official account, deadlier than bullets.
[In this day and age, who eats rice? Chewing rice grains is a relic of primitive times. True gourmets eat bread.]
[Why is Korean bread so expensive and tasteless? Skimping on butter and dumping sugar—that's not bread, just sweet flour lumps. Wake up, baking industry.]
[Insimdang will show what real 'bread' is. You'll forget about rice.]
The reaction was impressive.
'What crazy scheme is that mad mayor cooking up now? Got surplus tax money?'
'Let's see how amazing his bread is.'
'But it's Lee Garam, so probably something. At least his memes are gold. Looking forward lololol' etc.
With city admin alone overwhelming, a bakery out of nowhere is random af
Laundering slush funds or what?
Saw him with that villain Sugar Girl last time, probably recruiting her for something
Obvious scheme: build bakery with taxes and hand to crony
Stop the baseless hate. Can't you see the mayor's deep intent to provide cheap, tasty bread to the common folk?
Will he deflate bread prices? They're insanely expensive, welcome anyway
Reason doesn't matter if cheap and tasty, right?
✪ Took city hall emergency job, built bakery in one day and bounced lololol
Monday city hall call, pastel-tone bakery they said lololol
Mayor shows up nitpicking lighting, counter position, total backseat driver
Hot secretary beside him says ignore mayor and follow original blueprints lolololol
Sweet gig, clocked out early, good work~
lolololol mayor ㅠㅠ
How would you grasp Great Garam's profound intent
Mayor and secretary dating? Always together
They're mayor and secretary, of course together, dumbass
Praise and criticism, anticipation and concern intertwined, my name once again topped real-time trends.
Yes, talk more. Rage more. Expect more.
All your emotions will be fertilizer for my great impeachment.
Thanks to that, Insimdang became the hottest spot even before opening.
And two days before opening.
The final post.
Two days before official opening.
Wind howls and chilly rain lashes the window.
The calm before the storm.
I didn't reply to those mocking Insimdang in communities, still mocking now.
Whether rice or bread sucks? Results will tell.