Chapter 18
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 18
Chapter Title: The Mayor's Labor
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Life is the C between B and D, they say.
Birth and Death between Choice.
What nonsense.
My life, Lee Garam's life, is currently W between B and D.
Birth and Death between Work. Labor.
Endless, infinite labor with no end in sight.
What is that thing spread out before my eyes?
A mountain range made of paper. The Himalayas piled up from A4 sheets.
Not something to conquer, but a natural law to circumvent.
Why do humans climb mountains? Because they're there?
No. Because there are trails, safety gear, and the reward of achievement at the summit.
But this paper mountain range has no trails, no safety gear, and the only reward for conquering it is the despair of another paper mountain range appearing.
Ah, I don't want to work.
I fiercely don't want to do anything.
I'm not really performing the duties of mayor. I'm just a soul possessed by the role of mayor.
This soul needs rest. Not labor.
As always, what shattered my deep and philosophical anguish today was the voice of the perfect and unyielding secretary, Seria.
"These are the documents you agreed to process this morning. It's already rushing toward noon, but it seems you haven't even turned the first page. Does the mayor's time flow in a different dimension from the physical laws of reality?"
"Miss Seria, have you ever thought about the essence of labor as an act?"
I turned to her with the most profound and anguished philosopher's expression I could muster.
"Labor is the punishment God gave to humanity. The price for the original sin of eating the fruit from the Tree of Knowledge in the Garden of Eden. Right now, I'm engaged in passive resistance against that irrational punishment. On behalf of humanity's free will."
Yes, originally, there's no W between B and D.
In other words, there's no room for labor from birth to death. Work is something you do only after you're dead.
"I see."
Seria nodded expressionlessly.
A second of silence. Did my sophistry get through?
"Mayor. It's time to start work now."
She wasn't listening at all!
Was all my devoted acting and philosophical musing just background noise!
"Seria. Have you ever heard of the 'right to strike'?"
"If you're referring to the right to collective action, one of the three basic labor rights, yes, I have. It's the legal right for workers to suspend work to assert their demands against the employer."
"Oh, spot on. As expected, you're capable. Yes, that's exactly it. I, Lee Garam, hereby declare an indefinite strike. My demand is improvement of this unfair working environment. Remove this inhuman pile of documents from my sight."
I declared with the most solemn expression.
This is my first act of resistance. The noble struggle for workers' rights.
Seria tilted her head slightly.
"Unfortunately, Mayor, you are not a laborer."
"What? So you're saying I'm just a ne'er-do-well youth loafing around!"
"You are an elected public official and the CEO of the city of Neo Incheon. You are not a worker subject to the Labor Standards Act, but rather the employer side that must manage and direct numerous public servants. Therefore, the right to strike does not apply."
Logical.
A merciless barrage of logic that leaves no room for rebuttal.
My noble rights struggle ended before it even began.
"Urk... My head... Suddenly my head feels like it's splitting open. It seems like acute migraine from excessive stress. I can't make proper decisions in this condition. I can't ruin the city's important affairs. I should rest for today."
The last card. Feigning illness.
I pressed my forehead with my right hand and my temple with my left, letting out pained groans. Academy Award-worthy method acting. This should fool her.
"I'll have the comprehensive health checkup results from last week sent immediately from the medical office. If needed, I can call an A-rank healing hero affiliated with the city. Even if you're half-dead, they'll fully restore you in one minute."
"......"
Is she saying that if I keep faking it, she'll beat me half to death and revive me? Nah, no way.
Damn. Nothing works on this woman.
In the end, my method acting curtain fell due to lack of audience reaction.
"Fine! I'll do it! But Seria, there's an order to everything in work. Before tackling this massive pile of documents, don't you think we need mental preparation and a strategic approach first?"
I leaned back deeply in my chair and crossed my arms. Time to win with sophistry.
"Charging in blindly is for amateurs. A true master meditates to steady mind and body before battle and plans the optimal path to victory. Give me just 30 minutes. Time to draw my big picture for conquering this document mountain."
"These documents were created thanks to your big picture already."
"It's another big picture to complete that big picture! A big picture within a big picture! Like a fractal structure!"
"Not 30 minutes, but 3. The time it takes for one of those cup ramen you sneak during work hours to cook. Plan your strategy well."
She really has not a shred of mercy.
After an emergency strategy meeting in my head, I pulled out the ultimate weapon.
"Seria. If I finish all this... what will you do for me?"
A deal. Yes. The basis of human relations is give and take.
If I endure this hellish labor, I deserve commensurate reward.
Seria looked at me for a moment.
Her cold eyes scanned me up and down.
"Your salary is precisely deposited into your account every 25th of the month. It seems you're already receiving sufficient compensation."
"Not material rewards like that! Mental ones! Human ones! I'm not a machine gear! I need motivation! Yes, motivation! Rewards! Proper rewards boost efficiency! Like how a carrot makes the donkey run!"
Seria fell silent at my desperate cry.
She looked down at me, her face showing a fleeting moment of contemplation.
That expression.
The look when facing a tricky math problem, or pondering how to tame a difficult animal.
"You have a point."
What? She agrees? Seria agrees with me?
A rarer and more wondrous phenomenon than the solar system orbiting Earth or the sun rising in the west.
"Appropriate rewards do positively impact work efficiency. Very well."
Huh?
"If you process all those documents by this Friday, I'll make time for the weekend."
"Time? What kind of time?"
"The new blockbuster movie has great reviews. Let's go see it together."
For a moment, every circuit in my brain froze.
Time stopped.
Sounds vanished.
All neurons halted, whispering to each other, "What did that woman just say?"
A date?
Did she just ask me out on a date?
Wait, wait, wait a second.
Seria?
The super villain and leader of the secret society 'Erebos,' the mastermind plotting world conquest?
With me? Just the two of us? To the movies?
Sitting next to me in a dark theater, munching popcorn?
What if she gets annoyed at long ads and chokes me?
Or blows up the entire screen if she hates the ending?
Why would I even go on a date with Seria in the first place?
No logical basis. No emotional basis. Practical basis? Even less.
It's filled only with life-threatening risks.
Every hair on my body stood on end, alarms blaring.
Danger. Danger. Warning.
This isn't a reward. It's a trap. A serious threat to survival.
Conclusion: Decline.
Politely, gently, but firmly decline.
I mobilized every facial muscle to craft the kindest, most considerate boss smile in the world.
"No, no. I couldn't do that. I can't waste the precious time of someone as busy and important as you, Seria, on someone like me. I'll gratefully accept the sentiment. Haha."
I declined as politely and gently as possible.
This is my path to survival.
But Seria's icy gaze pierced my heart.
"I see."
Her voice, which had lowered the room temperature by 2 degrees moments ago, now dropped it another 10.
"Then all those overt and persistent shows of interest you directed at me recently... were just lighthearted jokes, or mere means to toy with me."
"!"
Oh no.
That's right.
I did that.
To evade her suspicions, to act like the original trash Lee Garam, I pestered her.
Tried to put my arm around her shoulders, begged to drink alone together, shot all sorts of sleazy, sticky gazes.
Hoisted by my own petard. I couldn't have shot myself in the foot more precisely.
"No! No! Absolutely not!"
I sprang up from my seat like a coiled spring.
"Everything I said was no joke! 100% pure, 24-karat gold sincerity without a shred of falsehood!"
I spread my arms wide and ranted.
"It's truly the best reward! Suddenly, power surges through my body! Endorphins exploding, adrenaline gushing like a fountain! Haha!"
I laughed like a madman and charged at the document pile.
"Let's work! Work! For Neo Incheon's bright future! And for my glorious weekend!"
And then the weekend.
Saturday, 1:50 PM. Appointment at 2:00.
I was pacing in front of Songdo Mega Cinema, Neo Incheon's largest multiplex.
Life is a series of choices, but sometimes there's only one option.
Especially between 'death' and 'less horrific death'—humans instinctively choose the latter.
In the end, here I was.
I even rummaged through my entire closet last night for today.
My usual suit seemed too stiff, but anything too casual would look like a real date.
After agonizing, my conclusion: sharply ironed beige chinos and a navy polo shirt buttoned to the collar.
An ambiguous choice somewhere between casual and formal.
"Hoo..."
I kept checking my smartwatch for no reason. Still 8 minutes left.
I looked around.
Several guys like me were visible.
The common sight of men anxiously pacing before a date.
But there was a decisive difference between them and me.
Their dates were ordinary girlfriends or blind date partners, but mine was a villain dreaming of world conquest.
A peaceful weekend scene.
But my heart was anything but peaceful.
Is this really a date? Or another test?
Maybe a final trap to judge if I'm truly a 'good-for-nothing do-nothing mayor' or a 'mayor pretending to be incompetent while hiding ability.'
Observing my reactions throughout the movie, analyzing every conversation to uncover my true identity—a high-level psychological war.
Ah, what a miserable world. Poor, Garam...
How did my golden weekend end up dancing in the palm of this terrifying super villain secretary's hand?
I just wanted to spend the whole weekend fused with my bed, ordering delivery food, and reading comics.
The humble happiness of a commoner is so distant and unattainable.